Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I know a guy at work who has read some of the leaks and thinks that Disney may retcon killing the Skywalker line down the road by claiming that Rey got pregnant by Ben via their force bond, and cite Anakin as the justification for it.

What horrifies me is that I could see Disney doing something that bizarre if this flops.
 
Oh wow.
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Remember goyim, no leaks
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Speaking of, more confirmations from leddit

- Some more confirmation that, yes, Kylo dies after his redemption. Kylo revives Rey. They smile at each other, she says "Ben" and they kiss. Kylo disappears like Luke when he dies. They do not say "I love you."

- Rey is the granddaughter of Grandpapa Palps. Takes the name Rey Skywalker at the end (whole Tatooine scene is true). Rey having BB8 at the end isn't explained. Finn & Poe are alive, but they are not with her in the final scene.

- Leia and Kylo have no scenes together. Rey stabs Kylo during their fight at the same moment Leia dies. Rey cries and heals him after.

- Han is in the movie. Anakin's voice IS in the movie. Hayden voiced Anakin.

- "You can't hide, Rey. Not from me." -line from Kylo.

- "Kylo holds her sweetly when he brings her back to life," and says the force bond is stronger than ever.

- Jannah isn't confirmed to be Lando's daughter. Poe lives. Knights of Ren are hardly in the movie (I'm assuming they only appear in the helmet repair scene and when Rey & Kylo fight them). Doesn't remember KoR having any dialogue.

- " No they don't really fight [Palpatine]. Yes he shoots lightning into the sky"

- Nobody ends up with anyone in a romantic sense at the end of the movie.

- Movie doesn't explain how Palpatine is back. Palpatine created Snoke and there are a couple tanks with Snoke clones in them. Nothing else is explained.

- Kylo's reaction to seeing Rey dead: "Panicked and hurt. It was well acted but still so awkward because of pacing.

- After the redemption, Ben doesn't have any lines. Apparently his character overally doesn't have as many lines in this movie. (Lots of people talking about this part: I doubt he has way less dialogue because he's one of the main characters and has a ton of scenes with Rey.)

- About Reylo moments: " There were honestly moments that could have been so hot if they'd been handled better. They way they talked to each other was kinda 'wink wink' and the force bond was really strong so that was cool"

- Only the force ghosts of Luke & Leia are at the end.

- Leia's last word is "Ben"

- "First [Palpatine] wants Rey to kill him, then when she doesn't, Rey just reflects his lightning back at him until he dies. They don't fight Palps. Ben gets yeeted into the Pit"

- Answering what Palpatine does in the movie (kinda vague): "He does nothing but talk shit to Kylo who doesnt listen to him anyway. But Ian's performance was still great."

- "Luke's ghost appeared to catch Rey's saber when she tried to throw it away."

- Hux is RIP. He was revealed as a spy because he basically wanted to tear Kylo down. He helps Finn & Poe escape. Gets killed by Pryde.

- Rey fought Dark Rey, which was a vision, for a little bit then the vision disappeared. This sequence is on the wreckage of the Death Star.

- "The opening scene is actually the Kylo on the red planet scene and it has little added context! He is there to get a way finder to Sith Land, and immediately arrives there and it goes right into the scenes from the Kylo tv spot. That's literally the opening of the movie."

- Rose and Rey didn't speak to each other.

- About the LGBT moment in the movie: " That woman that is close to Leia and Holdo? She kisses a woman in the background at the end."

- Ben says to Rey: "You wanted to take my hand." And Rey responds to the comment later in another scene by saying, "I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand."

- Says it's implied that Finn is going to confess his feelings for Rey (their interpretation), but it doesn't happen. Rey confides in Finn and prefers him over Poe because she doesn't get along with him.

- Han appears to Kylo and they have a very similar conversation as the TFA bridge moment (even some exact dialogue). Ben says "You're just a memory." Han says "Your memory," touches his face. And Ben turns and tosses away his red saber. "Leia used her last strength to reach out to Ben and call his name. He felt it and saw Han afterward. These two interactions cause his turn."

- Why Finn screams "Rey!" in the trailers: " He was just worried about Rey fighting Kylo. He actually falls because Rey force pushes him back, presumably to keep him away from the fight."

- "Ben destroys Reys wayfinder and it pisses her off. He doesn't fight her back too much. Whenever she stops swinging, he stops." There's a moment when they fight where Kylo knocks Rey down and the reason she's able to get the upper hand and stab him is because Leia calls to him through the force and dies. Kylo destroys the wayfinder because "He wants her to use his with him. He says "The only way you are getting there is with me" and crushes hers"

- List of deaths they remember: Boolio, Hux, Pryde, Leia, Ben, Snap Wexley, Rey (temporarily), Palpatine

- "Ben comes to save her from becoming Empress Palpatine (I'm serious) and revives her when killing Palps kills her. Ben never wanted her dead. She instantly regrets stabbing him."

- Palpatine is waiting for Rey to come kill him so all the Sith can inhabit her body. Then he gets rejuvenated by Ben and Rey's combined energies/powers/something like that, and decides to kill them

- There is a flashback scene of Luke training Leia in the Force and lightsaber combat. She even had a saber which Force Ghost Luke gives to Rey. Leia has been training Rey in the Force. Rey can straight up float while also levitating tons of rocks around her.

- KoR gang up on Kylo and are beating him when Rey initiates a force bond and gives him a lightsaber through the bond.

- Lando flies the falcon and bring a bunch of ships to the big fight at the end.

- Kylo and Chewie also have no scenes together.

- "Rey stole Ben's ship on the death star and takes it to Ach-to to hide out there forever like Luke, so she destroys it so she cant leave." "Then she goes to throw her saber into the flames but ghost Luke catches it and then gives her Leia's saber and then lifts the x-wing out of the water. That's how Rey gets off Ach-to"

- During the Pasaana scene after Rey destroys Kylo's first ship: "Ben walks up to Rey to push her into using the dark side to prove she's a Palpatine."

- Palpatine tells Kylo to kill Rey and Kylo basically refuses (he doesn't outright say it though). Kylo is done taking orders.

- In the scene where the voices of the Jedi come to aid Rey, they tell her to rise and that she has all of the power of the Jedi. Anakin's voice is there, so is Ahsoka's. A lot of the dialogue overlaps. Yoda's voice is there. Confirmed Obi-Wan's voice is too. Thinks Mace Windu's voice is in it.

- Force dyad is in the movie. Ben & Rey have a very deep connection.

- How Rey's resurrection and Rey/Kylo kiss happens: "Ben climbs out of the pit, sees fallen Rey from a distance and rushes over as best he can, limping. He gets to her and pulls her into his lap and holds her to his chest, heartbroken. Then he calms himself, leans her back, lays hands, and revives her. When she comes back, she holds his hand, looks into his eyes, smiles huge, calls him Ben, and they have a solid full contact kiss for about 2 seconds? He smiles back. Then he abruptly falls over dead, she touches him, and he vanishes." So he died happy.

- C3PO gets his memory back. He can understand Sith script but is forbidden from translating it so they hack his memory, thus wiping it, and he tells them where to find the wayfinder. Forgets everyone/everything but is restored by R2.

- There is a moment where Chewie mourns Leia :(

- Implied Finn is force-sensitive.

- Carrie & Billie share a scene together where they talk about Resistance-related stuff.

This next one is about how they defeat the not Empire

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I'm sorry, but the "Rey Skywalker" moment is reminding me horribly of the whole "Who has a better story than Bran the Broken" debacle at the end of GOT series 8.

Who has a better story than Rey?

How about Poe, the cocky ace pilot who could have learned the value of humility, but became a spouter of one-liners?

How about Finn, the defector from evil who could have tried to free all the rest of his brainwashed child soldiers but became a fucking clown instead?

How about Maz Kanata, who... what did she do anyhow? What was she actually for? Oh, of course. SuBVErTiNg eXpEcTaTIoNS.

How about Kylo Ren? No, he exists solely as a worfing board for Rey.

Ah, Rey. A giant Mary Sue who never heard of the force till a few days ago then is suddenly able to wipe the floor with everyone. Who has no character growth or development whatever and is basically a fucking plot device. Who has a better story than Rey, the STRONK WAHMEN. Oh yes, and given that incident with the sandworm she's also the Kvisatz Haderach on top of all this.

Who indeed.
 
I'm sorry, but the "Rey Skywalker" moment is reminding me horribly of the whole "Who has a better story than Bran the Broken" debacle at the end of GOT series 8.

Who has a better story than Rey?

How about Poe, the cocky ace pilot who could have learned the value of humility, but became a spouter of one-liners?

How about Finn, the defector from evil who could have tried to free all the rest of his brainwashed child soldiers but became a fucking clown instead?

How about Maz Kanata, who... what did she do anyhow? What was she actually for? Oh, of course. SuBVErTiNg eXpEcTaTIoNS.

How about Kylo Ren? No, he exists solely as a worfing board for Rey.

Ah, Rey. A giant Mary Sue who never heard of the force till a few days ago then is suddenly able to wipe the floor with everyone. Who has no character growth or development whatever and is basically a fucking plot device. Who has a better story than Rey, the STRONK WAHMEN. Oh yes, and given that incident with the sandworm she's also the Kvisatz Haderach on top of all this.

Who indeed.
I wanna go with Bob, the random Crime Mook on Corusant that realized he is force sensitive while in jail and is the star of The Video Game that is the combination of Saint's Row 4 and Force Unleashed that we aren't ever gonna get to see.
 
The reaction to last nights premier is bad for the rat.

These were the best of the shills. The most bought and paid for company bugmen they had, and the best they could get was "It's not for everyone but it's a great ending!". With some out right saying its not good.

This is a disaster I think. This was the vanguard to fight off the "russian bots" and to convince Joe consoomer to buy a ticket.


They lost Scott Mendelson. That's like losing Cronkite for Vietnam. Not that he is 1/100th of the stature but he represents a weather vane for the shills, the way he goes they go.

This movie will have a big opening then sink like a rock week over week as the word of mouth kills it.
 
Oh my god.

The FINAL Order?

Just going straight to something like that, huh?

No.

No, Palpatine. You do not get to call your new super faction the Final Order.

You didn't do ANYTHING to deserve that name.

No meaningful moments. No displays of power.

You just SHOW UP out of fucking nowhere, and expect US, the audience, to actually kiss your feet just because you made a comeback?

Good lord, the leaks get worse by the SECOND at this point.
 
Greetings to all our new comrades. Grab a beer and make yourself at home. We will enjoy this express elevator to hell all the way down and laugh like madmen as we drink to Star Wars' demise.

Also, I have to say, I am sooo glad someone leaked all these infos after I humored the thought of biting the bullet and watching this shitfest to report back on the plot.
I feel like I just dodged a bullet...

Edit: also, the sandworm that gets healed by Rey is based Klaud? That's so fucking stupid, I could not have come up with a better idea myself if I had to.
I feel, if this hadn't been in the movie, memes would have been made about how the sandworm was based Klaud all along.

This looks like a cheap prop from a bad sci-fi flick some dude made in his basement. Everything about this movie looks cheap, the make-up on Palpy, some of the special effects look awkward, this whole thing looks terrible in the leaked images and the promotional stuff.

Nice nerf gun disney, I'm so intimidated by the sith troopers.
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All original SW guns were based on WW1 or WW2 guns. They looked rugged, used and deadly. This new gun looks like a toy that will break when you sneeze at it too hard.
It'sn ot even the cheap plastic, it genuinely is terribly designed.

I hope Sheev does the impossible becomes a Sith force ghost and fucks with Rey for the rest of her life.
And I hope he only does this to be a dick to Rey.

Rey gets up and realizes that Sheev has misplaced all her socks. So after looking for them forever, she goes to have a drink of green milk. Just as she starts to pour herself a glas, Sheev's ghost gently pushes the glas way, so Rey misses and floods the table instead. She sighs and wipes away the puddle. She then realizes the cloth she was using was actually her favorite shirt and Sheev giggles in the background. Throughout her day, she learns that Sheev has thrown a handful of sand into the moisture-pump thingy and it is now broken, he has switched salt and sugar in her shakers and whenever she tries to oben a door, it gets stuck.

After a long day of annoyances, she drops into her bed and just when she's about to drift away into an uncomfortable slumber, Sheev uses his Sith Lightning to create a massive thunderclap that shakes the walls and ground and echos for several seconds, before he yanks open all windows, so sand gets blown into the hut from all sides.

So since Snoke is just a shitty Palpatine clone, does this mean Snoke's fancy gold slippers were Palpatine's?
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The novelisation of TROS will reveal how the sneakers were actually unholy Sith-Techno-Magic-doodad-focus-devices that helped Palpatine control Snoke's body.

Imagine if this trilogy had actually taken its time to develop Rey as a more well-rounded character, who had to grow into becoming such a strong Jedi, regardless of whether she was just a nobody or a Palpatine? And they could have EASILY given Rey the whole conflict about being a Palpatine without bringing the Emperor back, by the way, but I digress.

Imagine if we all had gotten that reunion of Luke, Leia, and Han ... And over the course of those movies, Rey would be right along with them, growing as a character. Then, after losing them, she takes the name of Skywalker after being a "nobody" for so long and after learning that the Skywalkers became her family?
It's surreal how little reason we have to be invested in any of the new characters.
TFA has a few moments between Finn and Rey, but Poe is gone from like 75% of the movie. TLJ then has Poe be the whipping boy that does the right things at all times but is treated lik a dunce for getting shit done. Finn and Rey share no scene together, instead he's on a pointless sidequest with a pointless sidecharacter.
Since Rey is little miss perfect, we never feel suspense, we just watch as things happen to her that never truly affect her.

Since the characters never bon with each other, it feels like we, the audience, never bond with them. We just witness them stumble through their pointless stories that never feel like anything is at stake, since we always know they will not be held back for long, even if they get slowed down a bit.

It is crystal clear that Rey taking the Skywalker name is Kathleen Kennedy's way of saying that Rey is the true Skywalker, and the true Chosen One (hence the obnoxious AF title of the movie). None of the Skywalkers, even Vader's redemption, did jack shit ... Only Rey could end Palpatine.
Which is kind of surreal. They gave this movie the title Rise of Skywalker just so they could get back the old fans, it's desperate pandering... but here comes Kathleen and her Kronies and suddenly, the movie is about Rey usurping the name for stupid reasons. Their attempt to pull at the heart strings of fans ("Look, the name Skywalker is still relevant!"), they fuck up and take a big dump on the name by handing it out like it was a worthless label to attach to a character in the vain hope that it'll make them look more important.
 
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I got your thread theme right here, but before you click, I want you to open it in the background and at the right moment (you know when) open the spoiler.

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That melted face just says it all.

It irritates me that we finally get a yellow / gold saber and it's under these circumstances and at the end of the movie. They utterly failed on making anything cool in this trilogy

It doesn't even look like a good-guy lightsaber! It's black and looks like half of Darth Maul's lightsaber. What the fuck did JJ MEAN by this?
 
Godbear beware we stop hating this shill for his vapid inane opinions. He was this close to making a decent point and then this.

Looking forward to RLM, E;R and whoever else will take a dump on this garbage fire.

C O N S U ME P R O D U C T

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Strongly disagree, we need a lot more of what happened after TLJ. We need it after every goddamned movie. We need it after every shill article.

We need it until Hollywood stops shitting out turds like Terminator Dark Fate, Star Wars, Charlie's Angels and all that other crap.
 
- There is a flashback scene of Luke training Leia in the Force and lightsaber combat. She even had a saber which Force Ghost Luke gives to Rey. Leia has been training Rey in the Force. Rey can straight up float while also levitating tons of rocks around her.
It really is live-action Korra. I think Reylos got just enough out of this to be satisfied...and I hate that.
 
Gotta love how they ripped off not just Dark Empire, but bloody Jedi Prince as well. Does this mean we get to call Rey "Kendalina" now?
Bravo Disney, you aped two of the most controversial SW materials out there. All this film needed is a dash of Jedi Academy Trilogy/Sun Crusher to complete the unholy union. Then again, those Death Star Destroyers are like fatter Sun Crushers... So yeah. The unholy marriage is complete. Of all the stories they could've adapted, of all the easy improvements they could've made using the good in those three stories, they instead chose all the bad with no talent and no passion, made only worse by JJ and this horrible plot combining the worst shit of the nu-DisneyEU. Bravo Disney. You nuked all of old canon for the worst and continue to steal from it shamelessly.

Also is Dr. FUCKING Aphra's ship confirmed to be in IX yet?

Speaking of, more confirmations from leddit

- Some more confirmation that, yes, Kylo dies after his redemption. Kylo revives Rey. They smile at each other, she says "Ben" and they kiss. Kylo disappears like Luke when he dies. They do not say "I love you."

- Rey is the granddaughter of Grandpapa Palps. Takes the name Rey Skywalker at the end (whole Tatooine scene is true). Rey having BB8 at the end isn't explained. Finn & Poe are alive, but they are not with her in the final scene.

- Leia and Kylo have no scenes together. Rey stabs Kylo during their fight at the same moment Leia dies. Rey cries and heals him after.

- Han is in the movie. Anakin's voice IS in the movie. Hayden voiced Anakin.

- "You can't hide, Rey. Not from me." -line from Kylo.

- "Kylo holds her sweetly when he brings her back to life," and says the force bond is stronger than ever.

- Jannah isn't confirmed to be Lando's daughter. Poe lives. Knights of Ren are hardly in the movie (I'm assuming they only appear in the helmet repair scene and when Rey & Kylo fight them). Doesn't remember KoR having any dialogue.

- " No they don't really fight [Palpatine]. Yes he shoots lightning into the sky"

- Nobody ends up with anyone in a romantic sense at the end of the movie.

- Movie doesn't explain how Palpatine is back. Palpatine created Snoke and there are a couple tanks with Snoke clones in them. Nothing else is explained.

- Kylo's reaction to seeing Rey dead: "Panicked and hurt. It was well acted but still so awkward because of pacing.

- After the redemption, Ben doesn't have any lines. Apparently his character overally doesn't have as many lines in this movie. (Lots of people talking about this part: I doubt he has way less dialogue because he's one of the main characters and has a ton of scenes with Rey.)

- About Reylo moments: " There were honestly moments that could have been so hot if they'd been handled better. They way they talked to each other was kinda 'wink wink' and the force bond was really strong so that was cool"

- Only the force ghosts of Luke & Leia are at the end.

- Leia's last word is "Ben"

- "First [Palpatine] wants Rey to kill him, then when she doesn't, Rey just reflects his lightning back at him until he dies. They don't fight Palps. Ben gets yeeted into the Pit"

- Answering what Palpatine does in the movie (kinda vague): "He does nothing but talk shit to Kylo who doesnt listen to him anyway. But Ian's performance was still great."

- "Luke's ghost appeared to catch Rey's saber when she tried to throw it away."

- Hux is RIP. He was revealed as a spy because he basically wanted to tear Kylo down. He helps Finn & Poe escape. Gets killed by Pryde.

- Rey fought Dark Rey, which was a vision, for a little bit then the vision disappeared. This sequence is on the wreckage of the Death Star.

- "The opening scene is actually the Kylo on the red planet scene and it has little added context! He is there to get a way finder to Sith Land, and immediately arrives there and it goes right into the scenes from the Kylo tv spot. That's literally the opening of the movie."

- Rose and Rey didn't speak to each other.

- About the LGBT moment in the movie: " That woman that is close to Leia and Holdo? She kisses a woman in the background at the end."

- Ben says to Rey: "You wanted to take my hand." And Rey responds to the comment later in another scene by saying, "I did want to take your hand. Ben's hand."

- Says it's implied that Finn is going to confess his feelings for Rey (their interpretation), but it doesn't happen. Rey confides in Finn and prefers him over Poe because she doesn't get along with him.

- Han appears to Kylo and they have a very similar conversation as the TFA bridge moment (even some exact dialogue). Ben says "You're just a memory." Han says "Your memory," touches his face. And Ben turns and tosses away his red saber. "Leia used her last strength to reach out to Ben and call his name. He felt it and saw Han afterward. These two interactions cause his turn."

- Why Finn screams "Rey!" in the trailers: " He was just worried about Rey fighting Kylo. He actually falls because Rey force pushes him back, presumably to keep him away from the fight."

- "Ben destroys Reys wayfinder and it pisses her off. He doesn't fight her back too much. Whenever she stops swinging, he stops." There's a moment when they fight where Kylo knocks Rey down and the reason she's able to get the upper hand and stab him is because Leia calls to him through the force and dies. Kylo destroys the wayfinder because "He wants her to use his with him. He says "The only way you are getting there is with me" and crushes hers"

- List of deaths they remember: Boolio, Hux, Pryde, Leia, Ben, Snap Wexley, Rey (temporarily), Palpatine

- "Ben comes to save her from becoming Empress Palpatine (I'm serious) and revives her when killing Palps kills her. Ben never wanted her dead. She instantly regrets stabbing him."

- Palpatine is waiting for Rey to come kill him so all the Sith can inhabit her body. Then he gets rejuvenated by Ben and Rey's combined energies/powers/something like that, and decides to kill them

- There is a flashback scene of Luke training Leia in the Force and lightsaber combat. She even had a saber which Force Ghost Luke gives to Rey. Leia has been training Rey in the Force. Rey can straight up float while also levitating tons of rocks around her.

- KoR gang up on Kylo and are beating him when Rey initiates a force bond and gives him a lightsaber through the bond.

- Lando flies the falcon and bring a bunch of ships to the big fight at the end.

- Kylo and Chewie also have no scenes together.

- "Rey stole Ben's ship on the death star and takes it to Ach-to to hide out there forever like Luke, so she destroys it so she cant leave." "Then she goes to throw her saber into the flames but ghost Luke catches it and then gives her Leia's saber and then lifts the x-wing out of the water. That's how Rey gets off Ach-to"

- During the Pasaana scene after Rey destroys Kylo's first ship: "Ben walks up to Rey to push her into using the dark side to prove she's a Palpatine."

- Palpatine tells Kylo to kill Rey and Kylo basically refuses (he doesn't outright say it though). Kylo is done taking orders.

- In the scene where the voices of the Jedi come to aid Rey, they tell her to rise and that she has all of the power of the Jedi. Anakin's voice is there, so is Ahsoka's. A lot of the dialogue overlaps. Yoda's voice is there. Confirmed Obi-Wan's voice is too. Thinks Mace Windu's voice is in it.

- Force dyad is in the movie. Ben & Rey have a very deep connection.

- How Rey's resurrection and Rey/Kylo kiss happens: "Ben climbs out of the pit, sees fallen Rey from a distance and rushes over as best he can, limping. He gets to her and pulls her into his lap and holds her to his chest, heartbroken. Then he calms himself, leans her back, lays hands, and revives her. When she comes back, she holds his hand, looks into his eyes, smiles huge, calls him Ben, and they have a solid full contact kiss for about 2 seconds? He smiles back. Then he abruptly falls over dead, she touches him, and he vanishes." So he died happy.

- C3PO gets his memory back. He can understand Sith script but is forbidden from translating it so they hack his memory, thus wiping it, and he tells them where to find the wayfinder. Forgets everyone/everything but is restored by R2.

- There is a moment where Chewie mourns Leia :(

- Implied Finn is force-sensitive.

- Carrie & Billie share a scene together where they talk about Resistance-related stuff.

This next one is about how they defeat the not Empire

Lol so they turned Carrie Fisher's daughter into the BBQ rep. Also fucking hell that's all far worse than I could've imagined.


Reminder to new arrivals:
The plot of Plan IX is on page 1023.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...-about-last-jedi.32492/page-1023#post-5728521
For those interested in Galaxy's Edge info, shit's covered on page 499 and onward.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-499#post-4776843
For those interested in the worst DisneyEU novel, go to the Chuck Wendig thread, somewhere around page 10 for chapter screencaps.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chuck-wendig-charles-wendig-terribleminds.48930/page-10
For a detailed breakdown of box office info for every Disney Wars films, plus statistics, analytical shit, and China's relation to Disney Wars profits, see page 633.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-...y-about-last-jedi.32492/page-633#post-5227376
For those interested in where all the Hell of leaks starts, its on page 377.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/star-wars-griefing-thread-formerly-about-last-jedi.32492/page-377
 
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