Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Ginger Piglet]

I can imagine Disney purchasing Harry Potter and releasing a film series as the sequel to the popular Harry Potter series. Only this time we're introduced to a female protagonists who unknowingly the daughter of Voldemort, who returns somehow, and shits on the sacrifices of the characters who died fighting the infamous dark wizard.

Only this time the series is now woke!

And her name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, natch.

Lets continue this game.

Lets make Star Trek woke!

Oh wait, they already did that...

Um.

Doom?

No, too sacred.

Oh fuck. Don't give them ideas. Imagine a woke Doom. Where the Doomguy is actually a Doomgirl cruelly assigned male at birth and the demons are an allegory for her gender dysphoria and the hyperspecific lived experiences of transmisogyny, and UAC represents the patriarchical white male cishet hegemony.

 

[Judge Holden]

Don't you fucking touch my Stargate

Erm....yeah about that...

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Mad? We’re not mad, we’re FURIOUS!

I understood that reference.

They're going to need to start back at the end of ROTJ that's the only real way forward.

That's really the only thing I want now. Hey Lucasfilm, fuck new stories or new characters you get exclusive rights to, you greedy nearsighted mole people. 100% of 200 million is still less that 50% of 1 billion.

Time to fondle the toxic male fan balls, Lucasfilms. Lube up and start massaging.

 

[The Valeyard]

Oh fuck. Don't give them ideas. Imagine a woke Doom. Where the Doomguy is actually a Doomgirl cruelly assigned male at birth and the demons are an allegory for her gender dysphoria and the hyperspecific lived experiences of transmisogyny, and UAC represents the patriarchical white male cishet hegemony.

Funny you should mention that...

Spoiler

 

[verissimus]

Lets continue this game.

Lets make Star Trek woke!

Oh wait, they already did that...

Um.

Doom?

No, too sacred.

...they already got to Doom (at least as far as movies go).

Next up could be the Witcher or the Lord of the Rings.

 

[JongleJingle]

Funny you should mention that...

Spoiler

View attachment 1055774View attachment 1055779

We don't speak of Doom Annihilation.

 

[Judge Holden]

>TFW the predator reboot which revealed that the predators' real motives are in harvesting precious autism to conquer the universe....like seriously thats literally the fucking plotline.... isnt even one of the top five worst sci fi reboots of the decade

 

[ZMOT]

I can imagine Disney purchasing Harry Potter and releasing a film series as the sequel to the popular Harry Potter series. Only this time we're introduced to a female protagonists who unknowingly the daughter of Voldemort, who returns somehow, and shits on the sacrifices of the characters who died fighting the infamous dark wizard.

Only this time the series is now woke!

ngl, that should could actually be interesting. which probably says more about the quality of the HP movies than it should.
imagine they do it once the political climate starts to change and they go all in with being non-woke as fuck.
voldy's 11/10 offspring trying to shag up HP's kid and has to be stopped by a merry band of weasleys

You know what I just remembered, the Michael bay Transformers movies contributed more culturally than the new Star Wars movies because the music from the transformers films are popular to use in movie trailers and as background music for televised award ceremonies. They've won awards for them as well IIRC.

optimus' speeches alone makes those movies watchable. and that they never try to be more than they actually are.
still don't understand why 5 bombed when 4 was a much bigger drag and wasted the dinobots.

 

[Cod of War]

At least Blood is safe. right?

 

[Judge Holden]

ngl, that should could actually be interesting. which probably says more about the quality of the HP movies than it should.
imagine they do it once the political climate starts to change and they go all in with being non-woke as fuck.
voldy's 11/10 offspring trying to shag up HP's kid and has to be stopped by a merry band of weasleys

*sighs*

Nigger Ive got some bad news....

 

[The Valeyard]

Next up could be the Witcher or the Lord of the Rings.

Fringilla Vigo is black in the Netflix adaptation of The Witcher, so yeah...

Spoiler

 

[Dom Cruise]

“It’s about family.”

*wipes the fuck out of the entire Skywalker family*

 

[Creep3r]

Two things come to mind. The first one is... who the fuck is Boolio? Secondly, Klaud hopefully survives.
View attachment 1055763

First off, Boolio is that ugly green donut steal alien dude who I first mentioned in the costumes leaks, the Lego leaks and the leaks saying he was Hux's informant or something. He dies. No one cares because he's just a shitty nu-alien and a knockoff of better species.

Secondly, Klaud survives.

...they already got to Doom (at least as far as movies go).

Next up could be the Witcher or the Lord of the Rings.

LOTR is the true next target if Amazon and the constant anti-Tolkien sentiment in media is anything to go by due to it being too much of a "white, straight, male power fantasy".

 

[The handsome tard]

You know, its sad.

Ironically The Rise of Skywalker concludes the "entire saga" by having all the Skywalkers dead and a Palpatine taking their name. Perhaps in a much better trilogy with a much better written Rey I wouldnt have minded that but...yeah.

The Skywalkers lost and Palpatine's bloodline still won at the end.

"So much better than legends", am I fucking right?

 

[Ginger Piglet]

LOTR is the true next target if Amazon and the constant anti-Tolkien sentiment in media is anything to go by due to it being too much of a "white, straight, male power fantasy".

Hopefully, though, the Tolkien estate will tell the rat and/or Jar Jar to FRO. They have lawyers too.

 

[A Useless Fish]

Jesus Christ, this is turning into quite the wild ride. I wonder how Chuck the Cuck's self-insert dies? God, I hope it involves that huge, sentient penis.

 

[Jaimas]

Lets continue this game.

Lets make Star Trek woke!

Oh wait, they already did that...

Um.

Doom?

No, too sacred.

They tried.

It failed.

 

[ZMOT]

*sighs*

Nigger Ive got some bad news....

yeah, I know. but rowling has been huffing her own farts for quite a while.
I meant it more as someone buying the rights and gives zero fucks - in a good way.
plus the HP hype was always strange to me, the books are ok but nothing special. if anything the setting is the interesting part, unless you look too close. so JK shitting up her own stuff retroactively doesn't really bother me.

 

[JongleJingle]

You know shits fucked when the villain wins by accident.

Not by actual good plotting and the like, but by pure...

Utter...

SHIT...

Writing.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

@Judge Holden 's rants and revelations about sand make me wish I was halfway decent at photoshop because now I want someone to take that Monty Python spam skit with the little old lady replaced with Anakin proclaiming, "I don't like sand!" while all the vikings, which are labelled as Disney or Disney shills sing, "Sand, sand, sand, sandity saaaand! Wonderful sand!"