Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Disney upon realizing destroying the franchise was a mistake.
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Disney wars shillers realizing they’re getting raped as hard as the fans and it hurts hard.
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I've found some refuge in Mandalorian, as unsophisticated & straightforward.

It's like someone at Disney found old unused Hercules & Xena plotlines; then stuck Hercules in bounty-hunter armor, substituted Baby Yoda for Iolaus (because seriously, fuck that guy), carried over his deals with alien godlike beings, etc.....

Mandalorian has even done it better on a Hercules or Xena-scale budget, in comparison to the money thrown at this new dumpsterfire of a movie.
 
Trust me mate, they'll give anything over here a 3 stars at least, still not as bad as the Guardian though.
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"The movie is good as long as you don't think."
Yeah, beats that were so conclusive and inevitable that the last movie left people wondering where the fuck they were supposed to go with the series! The only beats people look forward to now are which films will beat this living abortion at the box office.
 
GUYS GUYS WE FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT...

What happened to our soul-nigga and the glorious despoiler of frumpy asian potato women Klaud?
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EDIT: actually speakin of klaud, how is cuck wendig and the lucasfilm story team clowncar handling this?
 
MovieBob gives IX an fucking 8/10. :story: :story: :story: :story:
So, given that the precious theeeeemes in TLJ were of such pivotal importance to MovieBlob's enjoyment of the movie and that it took his Mensa-like intelligence to comprehend them, how did he reconcile the utter assassination of literally everything done in TLJ in this new film? I mean, instead of letting the past die, we literally have the past come back to life and being immortalized by Rey Skywalker, Née Palpatine, we have a shitton of stuff that was introduced by JarJar, undone by Ruin and then the undoing was undone by Jarjar once again... so how did he reconcile all that? Did he just glance over it? Did he double-think it into two equally true, yet mutually exclusive pieces of information? Did he address them and handwave them away? Or did he bring them up, then ignored them and gave the movie the numbers he wants to give it - in large part to be a contrarian to the "toxic fanbase" or something?

What's with this trend of reviewers listing everything negative and saying it's a load of shite and yet they give it a high score anyway? What are they trying? It's almost as if they couldn't give a shit about any reputation they had.
Disney had to save money, so they bought good ratings, but they could not afford nice words to go along with it.
 
See, I could just about understand the Ewoks taking out a stormtrooper force because stormtroopers and AT-STs are the worst possible choice of force to occupy or invade a heavily forested planet and the Ewoks are capable of carrying out a guerilla campaign. I could get behind when Palpy goes down the first time alongside an entire Imperial fleet that this would be such a crippling blow to the Empire, and it's implied that there are Rebels all over as well as merely on Endor. That would be enough of a damaging blow for the Empire to agree to a peace treaty of sorts. However. The First Order reigns SUPREME, we're told, and the Resistance is reduced to just a few ships engaged in a slow speed chase and/or the base on Crait. The Republic disarmed entirely. Are we to assume that hundreds of thousands of ex Rebels dusted off their blaster rifles from the attic and reformed all spontaneous like?

Here's what I'd do if I were the head of the First Final Order after Palpy's been a splode:

Find one of the people who invented the Death Star Destroyer cannon. Get him to build a couple more and mount them on existing Star Destroyers. Exterminatus Endor, Jakku, and Bespin and anywhere else where guerilla warfare is likely to break out. Flood everywhere on the fence with stormtroopers. Given that each Star Destroyer holds a division or two of them, manpower is not likely to be a problem. Then set up an inquisitorial squadron whose job is to find potential Force sensitives and arrange for them to have "accidents." They might even be able to use remote versions of the midichlorian detector that Qui-Gon had.

But no, they all just give up and go home. Ugh.

I gave the Ewoks a pass because they were originally going to be Wookies, but George Lucas thought showing them as primitives when Chewbacca knows how to fly a ship was weird.

I mean, they're still dumb, but at least Lucas gave a crap.
 
Wait, Palpatine gets BTFO'D by his own fucking lighting? Why does he keep zapping her when she's deflecting it? Nigga just stop shooting lighting???

Why did this deflection trick by Mace not do shit all, but insta-killed him when Rey does it?
This is the sixth time Sheev has been hit by his own lightning, and he has become exceedingly efficient at it
 
GUYS GUYS WE FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT...

What happened to our soul-nigga and the glorious despoiler of frumpy asian potato women Klaud?
Wo8C9z1.png


EDIT: actually speakin of klaud, how is cuck wendig and the lucasfilm story team clowncar handling this?
I think the memes actually got to the story group. I haven't heard a thing about this guy in about a month, so I assume he's been cut entirely.
See ya' space phallus
 
Here's another funny thing about Hollywood too.

That they think that writing an overpowered Mary Sue female character somehow means that is a 'well' written' character when really they are boring as all shit.

Now this doesn't mean that writing an overpowered character means that said character will become a Mary Sue or a Gary Stu because there's plenty of characters in fiction that are overpowered but at least they have character depth and personality.

There's Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star.
There's Ainz Ooal Gown from Overlord.
There's Saitama from One-Punch Man.
There's Alucard from Hellsing.

And then you have Rey where she gets to use these powerful force moves with no real training at all, her character is just as bland as mash potatoes with no seasoning, and she can drive the Millennium Falcon without any training either. Even Ainz Ooal Gown, the fucking skeleton from Overlord that can't even make a smile, has more humanity than this sorry excuse of a Mary Sue in the Star Wars universe and shit.

The thing is Rey could've worked as a static OP Jedi if she was rewritten as a mentor figure for Finn and had a fucking personality.
 
I've found some refuge in Mandalorian, as unsophisticated & straightforward.

It's like someone at Disney found old unused Hercules & Xena plotlines; then stuck Hercules in bounty-hunter armor, substituted Baby Yoda for Iolaus (because seriously, fuck that guy), carried over his deals with alien godlike beings, etc.....

Mandalorian has even done it better on a Hercules or Xena-scale budget, in comparison to the money thrown at this new dumpsterfire of a movie.

Funnelly enough, I've been binge-watching the first couple of series of Xena. It's surprisingly comfy. It looks cheap as absolute fuck though what with 90s computer graphics and wire-fu, but the writing is solid and coherent enough that knowing the giant liberties they take with Greco-Roman mythology doesn't detract from it. But alas, nowadays the wokerati would decide that having UST between Xena and Gabrielle is "queerbaiting" and that unless they're lezzing out on camera twice an episode it's PROBLEMATIC.
 
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