Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[kcbbq]

ITS A MIRACLE! Its a flipping Christmas miracle!

Also slow down people. This shit's moving way too fast. And in regards to those asking if a female protagonist was the problem, the answer is no. I didn't care as long as she was a good character with a compelling goal, and if it was Jaina Solo or Ben Skywalker's secret sister, then all the better. What matters is Disney couldn't even make one new character of theirs likeable and they somehow turned all the beloved old ones into unlikable cunts too. Bravo Disney.

The difference is that Lucas, despite his comedic inability to write dialog, could create worlds, could craft a story, could create characters that vaguely made sense. Sometimes he missed the mark, but he didn't care - he loved his Ewoks, he loved his Jar Jar Binks. You can't fake that love. There hasn't been love in a Disney film since Walt died, or a Pixar film since Disney finally managed to eat its soul.

You could feel it in his Star Wars, in the 3 Indiana Jones movies that aren't the last one, the Indiana Jones TV series, Willow, American Grafitti. You can even feel it in the Ewok TV movies and that shit show adaptation of Howard the Duck.

This was the man that let Pixar go for peanuts because he felt bad they weren't getting to do what they do because he couldn't focus on them. He created new companies to do work on his and other films because the existing options didn't seem to care enough anymore, and there aren't many big budget movies in the last 40 years that don't have at least one of them in the credits, or any, even if you exclude THX.

Not one of the films he made is really art, or a great film, really, but they are great entertainment in the way old movie serials were. They're Zorro, they're Buck Rogers.

Everyone in the industry tries to put their head up their asses hoping that's how to channel Scorsese because it vaguely works for him.

The sad thing is that the most fun movie I've seen from the 2000s is Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, and that's a shitty Canuckistani indy film, but what's not fun about Jesus coming back to save the lesbians from vampires? The fucking clown car atheist scene with its charmingly bad editing is genius and silly and fun. There's a lot of love in that terrible film. They spent $100k Canadian, which is what you find in most couches in the US (about a buck and a half?) and there's more soul than in all of the billions of dollars Hollywood has spent since.

The MCU films come close, but I think that's as much to do with Robert Downy, Jr. Getting things off to a good start with his obnoxious Stark. Not sure whose keeping the Disney out of them (aside from Captain Marvel...), but kudos to them.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

You know, as much as I'm enjoying this movie's failure I'm fucking saddened by what Disney has done to a franchise that endured for 30 fucking years before the prequels. And not only did it survive Lucas "ruining" the franchise the first time, it continued on as strong as ever with good games and series and a fandom that, while prone to disagreement, still got along amicably enough.

But then Disney bought it and everything has been falling apart ever since. The fandom has splintered and all the various factions hate each other, the games have gone to crap because Disney knows jack fucking shit about the game industry and gave the licence to EA (and pretty much exclusively EA for quite awhile) and we got 2 crap Battlefront games in 8 years. Not to mention Rebels and the other animated Disney tripe.

This legitimately might be the end of Star Wars as what it once was, what it had been for nearly 40 fucking years. I just can't see hiw it can recover without decanonizing everything Disney has done and starting again fresh.

And now I'm depressed as fuck and need sad music. This seems appropriate.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Hilarious reaction to this guy on 4chan

i give the soy boy one thing
he actually can smile, and not just do the fake ass soy smile

 

[wholetthegodsout]

I wonder how 1917 will fair against ROS on Christmas day? Looks like its a Dunkirk like big spectacle war film with epic set pieces and action. I could see a lot of olds being more interested in it due to ROS mixed reviews. Only thing is 1917 is R which will limit its family appeal. But ROS might be in for bad Christmas day numbers

 

[Love Machine]

You know, as much as I'm enjoying this movie's failure I'm fucking saddened by what Disney has done to a franchise that endured for 30 fucking years before the prequels. And not only did it survive Lucas "ruining" the franchise the first time, it continued on as strong as ever with good games and series and a fandom that, while prone to disagreement, still got along amicably enough.

But then Disney bought it and everything has been falling apart ever since. The fandom has splintered and all the various factions hate each other, the games have gone to crap because Disney knows jack fucking shit about the game industry and gave the licence to EA (and pretty much exclusively EA for quite awhile) and we got 2 crap Battlefront games in 8 years. Not to mention Rebels and the other animated Disney tripe.

This legitimately might be the end of Star Wars as what it once was, what it had been for nearly 40 fucking years. I just can't see hiw it can recover without decanonizing everything Disney has done and starting again fresh.

And now I'm depressed as fuck and need sad music. This seems appropriate.

They can never take the good things away from your, friend.

 

[Creep3r]

No no no, the force jesus was obviously there, and pals corrupted it. it literally says THERE WAS NO FATHER.

Embrace the dark reality. What you once knew is no more.

No amount of headcanon can save this mess.

 

[Love Machine]

[

Embrace the dark reality. What you once knew is no more.
View attachment 1058436
No amount of headcanon can save this mess.

nah i think you guys are misinterpreting it. youre taking it way to literal. Even my explanation is too literal. It could just be symbolic imagery of palpatine corrupting purity.

 

[wholetthegodsout]

Hilarious reaction to this guy on 4chan

Nice rant, but what do these neo-nazis have against onions? Does this guy think his mom putting onions on his hamburger is some sort of international jewish plot?

 

[Reverend]

New hot take here:

r/KotakuInAction - The unfortunate message of Disney's Star Wars tells young women that they should engage/remain in a abusive relationship because they can magically fix their "bad boy".

79 votes and 37 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Amazing that Disney now promotes abusive relationships, battered women stick with their men, and that the men that abuse them can be 'saved'.

Oh glorious feminism I thought had saved us from these awful, awful tropes.

 

[Haramburger]

I'm surprised any of his movies would get greenlit after the disaster known as Pixels.

Good for him.

Adam Sandler is usually shit at the box office, but makes his money back in TV syndication, home movie/DVD sales and streaming service deals. He's actually really consistent if you were a Hollywood investor.

 

[DumbDude42]

Nice rant, but what do these neo-nazis have against onions? Does this guy think his mom putting onions on his hamburger is some sort of international jewish plot?

it's a word filter, if you type "soy" on 4chan it is automatically changed to "onions"

 

[Love Machine]

it's a word filter, if you type "soy" on 4chan it is automatically changed to "onions"

i guess you live up to the name....

 

[Creep3r]

[

nah i think you guys are misinterpreting it. youre taking it way to literal. Even my explanation is too literal. It could just be symbolic imagery of palpatine corrupting purity.

No not really. Vader goes into the fucking Force itself and sees history unfold along with visions of the dead along with the revelation that Palpatine created him. I'm not sure why you think its not that considering this is the same universe where Han is a bum who had his Falcon stolen by a parking valet then sold his best friend's memento, a universe where Luke is an even bigger deadbeat and bitter bum whose life amounted to nothing and whose legacy was taken by his mortal enemy's grandkid, a universe where Leia is an outcast abandoned by the government she created, and a universe where Palpatine is the ultimate victor in literally every regard, even in death. Also corruption makes no sense since Anakin was never corrupted until after meeting Palpatine and falling in love with Padme. Also why create/corrupt a kid who is supposed to be your ultimate weapon and never bother to nurture him from the get-go? Its all just shitty writing from the same comic that gave us Darth Moomin. And in the off-chance that Disney decides to retcon this one little detail, it doesn't change what a clusterfuck their world is.

 

[wholetthegodsout]

New hot take here:

r/KotakuInAction - The unfortunate message of Disney's Star Wars tells young women that they should engage/remain in a abusive relationship because they can magically fix their "bad boy".

79 votes and 37 comments so far on Reddit

www.reddit.com

Amazing that Disney now promotes abusive relationships, battered women stick with their men, and that the men that abuse them can be 'saved'.

Oh glorious feminism I thought had saved us from these awful, awful tropes.

It's such art by committee and also letting their liberal views get in the way that they can't even tell a coherent story. I assume from the beginning the plan was for Rey to be the strong Girl Power hero who "don't need no man." This is why in force awakens she is basically friend zones Finn.

Yet they totally miscalculate that a lot of female viewers would actually love some sort of romantic relationship. It gets women invested in the story as much as epic starship battles get teen boys interested. The female fandom basically projected a relationship between Rey and Kylo (the ultimate bad boy in the context of the ST) because otherwise TFA was a complete sexless borefest in terms of romance.

So by the final movie as they are rushing to please everyone they throw in a kiss to appease the Reylo fandom and accidentally fall into the "woman falls for violent abuser trope."

 

[Creep3r]

Anyone else see this?

/tv/ - is there a cam yet? - Television & Film - 4chan

is there a cam yet? - "/tv/ - Television & Film" is 4chan's imageboard dedicated to the discussion of television and film.

boards.4channel.org

/tv/ - Star Wars IX reactions - Television & Film - 4chan

Star Wars IX reactions - "/tv/ - Television & Film" is 4chan's imageboard dedicated to the discussion of television and film.

boards.4channel.org

Someone needs to make a compilation of reviews, scores and articles.

 

[HeyYou]

I feel bad that the BFII devs trying to fix that mess of a game have to include IX content instead of what they want. That must suck.

Also, is Coruscant even in this movie?

 

[Regulas]

Hilarious reaction to this guy on 4chan

Tasty pasta

 

[ZMOT]

I'm not really understanding your reasoning with this, because the defecting force sensitive stormtrooper angle was implemented anyways...

There was internal logic to explain why he was in the FO, he was kidnapped as a child...

How would it have led to too much politics or talking? It would have probably played out in a similar fashion as it did in TFA..

it was more of a joke, but here's the thing: look at how the FO is depicted (the little we see of them). this is current year, there is only black and white. you can't have the bad guys have a little bit of grey, be competent or more than a caricature. that would go against the narrative.

finn being a kidnapped child-soldier was jj making shit up for marketing (and maybe re-hashing earlier concepts, see the art about it. @GeneralFriendliness probably knows more about the timeline and where it comes from), showing how "evil" the first order is. the only thing missing is phasma kicking an alien puppy; was probably filmed and removed to not impact sales of the her figure.

let's look at the internal logic: he was a fucking janitor. all so finn could say "I kno dat!". apparently he was mopping floors across the whole galaxy and the first order steals kids for low-wage jobs a droid can do.
even if we go by what we know, him defecting after being in the field, does that mean a stormtrooper's career involves custodian duties by default at some point? if it was a demotion, does that mean the first order has a social safety net and doesn't outright euthanize failed storm troopers? how did he even get out of that and end up back in the field again? in phasma's unit no less? and with his knowledge, does that mean the FO shares crucial operational information down to the lowest rank?

sure, you could've done more with the origin (which is just a kyle katarn ripoff anyway), but no one wants to see a disillusioned former child soldier with ptsd wrestling with his inner demons trying to adapt to a life outside the FO, not the demographic of kids and manbabies who are supposed to buy merch and disney was aiming for. they want explosions and shootyshooty.
normal vets already have trouble adapting to civilian life after combat, and they usually join as adults voluntarily so they have some grasp on life. now imagine what that would look like for a former child soldier. maybe him gleefully shooting his former comrades and possible long-term friends was him finally breaking down...

Fuck that, gimme a Republic Commando film, and do it like Saving Private Ryan; gritty, violent as hell and not afraid to show the horrors of warfare.

so, original rogue one?
(I still want that cut)

The idiots at Disney-Lucasfilm treated these films as a generic action flick with no in-depth worldbuilding of any kind beyond OT references, made all the more worse by a hack writing team with no plan whose only focus was fart-huffing and shitty woke pandering. But at least with a blueprint you have something to go on and there would be a guarantee of some stability and coherence in the narrative even if it was loaded with woke garbage or Holdo-esque characters.

yeah, well...

 

[Silent Observer]

Embrace the dark reality. What you once knew is no more.
View attachment 1058436
No amount of headcanon can save this mess.

Bullshit. As far as I'm aware, the PT, R1, and OT are the only SW films in existence. Any others are bad fanfiction, like the last Predator movie. IMO, the easiest way to make a film non-canon is by not paying to see it, which I will successfully do during RoS' theatrical run and home release.

 

[Atomic Wangler]

really depends on the context. having a writer or GM get a second opinion usually works out better for everyone involved. let's say you want your protagonist to lose a leg - what would that mean for his character? in cyberpunk he would just get a metal leg, while in low-fantasy he would be basically fucked (unless "it's just magic bro!" it gets healed, completely diminishing the effects of bodily harm). or more ontopic: resurrection is now canon in star wars. so how does that work? can some sith just come along and resurrect sheev? why didn't finn who's apparently force-sensitive now just ress kylo? what's the half-life on a corpse to be resurrected? are sith-necromancers a thing now?

same with wealth and other details. a good "world" needs to make sense, and not everybody knows how a society shapes over time and what that implies. remember, we had a similar discussion in this very thread when some kiwi noted how it bothered him how poe literally sends bombers while having cease-fire talks in the beginning of TLJ.

I was more referring to cases like the image in the post I was responding to. Of course you would need to expand on things like disability when it becomes necessary, but sometimes details like that just get dropped in without reason and it takes me out of the moment. In those cases it comes across either as "what was that all about?" or "Oh, the author is trying to make some point about our world with this."