Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[ZehnBoat]

Jesus.....somebody better warn Mister Scorsese to bring some backup during his and Iger's upcoming "friendly meeting" because jesus fucking christ he is actually going to snap and kill someone in the next few weeks

why do you think george wasn't at the premier?

 

[Judge Holden]

why do you think george wasn't at the premier?

I assumed he was sitting alone in his basement while holding yellowed and well worn letters from happy children who wrote in to thank him for The Phantom Menace twenty years ago, weeping softly as he raises the revolver to his head....

"im sorry.....i tried my best for you...."

 

[Silent Observer]

I assumed he was sitting alone in his basement while holding yellowed and well worn letters from happy children who wrote in to thank him for The Phantom Menace twenty years ago, weeping softly as he raises the revolver to his head....

"im sorry.....i tried my best for you...."

Nah. He's probably watching the Plinkett reviews of the PT and happily thinking "Are you going to apologize now, you pizza roll motherfucker?"

 

[mindlessobserver]

Is DC truly next?

 

[Judge Holden]

Nah. He's probably watching the Plinkett reviews of the PT and happily thinking "Are you going to apologize now, you pizza roll motherfucker?"

Ultimate plot twist: The Plinkett Review of The Rise of Skywalker is the true finale not just of the Plinkett Reviews but of Half in the Bag.

It finally has Mike appear in the flesh as Review!Plinkett, accompanied by Rich as Other!Plinkett, Susan in drag, and the final special guest star....

.....George Lucas

The review is MauLer length, and they all get shitfaced and talk about every shitty aspect of the sequel trilogy and george opens up about his regrets with the prequels.

George Lucas openly calls JJ a big nosed judas and Rian a rapist Manlet, and expounds at length about how KK whored out her underage niece to Harvey Weinstein to get her first big producer credit

At the end, Plinkett and Lucas stand up unsteadily as inebriated friends, having bonded over the six hour review/drinking session, and end the video and the entire RedLetterMedia cinematic universe Rocky III style with a drunken fistfight

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

OK. I'm... impressed (?) by how fast this thread has grown in the last two days. Fucking hell. After seeing all of this recent stuff, including how the movie is under-performing in Europe my general reaction is...

Kennedy, you ignorant slut.*

I don't like to repeat myself but it's amazing how badly they fucked up. First off, a book has to be written about this. It really does. Wait until those NDAs are done and then some enterprising person needs to get out there and do lots of interviews and compile as much dirty laundry as they can then publish it 'cause I think it'd be a seller. Lastly, let's not write off this Disney Trilogy just yet because I see a great way it can be useful: as a means of teaching film students how not to do a trilogy. Not to mention how not to do a 'sequel series'. I heard someone's already using The Last Jedi as how not to write a screenplay or something. Go further than that. Use the entire trilogy. As long as this disaster exists, there might as well be some good use out of it.

Also because I don't want to just bore you guys with a random post laughing at this shitshow, I do want to share a few thoughts regarding that recent first issue of that Rise of Kylo Ren comic. I could be wrong here 'cause this fucking thread has grown like 200 pages since I've been able to post a reply but has anyone pointed out that we're finally getting details regarding the Knights of Ren in this? And their so-called 'philosophy' is just as edge-lord as you'd imagine:

Spoiler: PAGES 3 and 4

Nice job there, Abrams. You really kept your promise about that whole 'we'll find out more about the Knights of Ren.' We finally are in one terrible comic.

Then there's the issue of the actual destruction of Luke's Jedi Temple. This could just be Marvel's terrible art here but the implication is that it wasn't Ben that destroyed the temple and the majority of the students but a 'outside force' that did so. If true, it's pretty damn clear to me the reasoning behind it: It's to 'white wash' Kylo a bit so it's more palatable for his so-called 'redemption'. 'Oh look, he really isn't the sci-fi equivalent of a school shooter!' Some mysterious person is behind it. He's a good boy! He didn't do nothin' wrong! '

What a bunch of trash.
*Yes, I love classic SNL. You know, before people like Akroyd went bat-shit. Well, more bat-shit than what he was in the past.

 

[School of Fish]

So what can we learn from this stupid shit so far?
1. Woke shit will never, ever sell ever. It doesn't matter how much you want to pander to the 'progressive' crowd of feminists and beta males; shit is still going to be shit no matter what you name it.
2. A Mary Sue/Gary Stu-type of character isn't going to make audiences care about your female characters. There's a good reason why the fanfiction that is known as 'My Immortal' got so infamous because the main character of that infamous fanfiction is a Mary Sue in every sense of the term.
3. The people that worked on writing these movies are total hacks and if you ask me if I was running Disney then I would pretty much fire them on the spot for costing the company a lot of money.
4. Disney deserves what will happen to them when the fans see this stupid shit for themselves too.

 

[Kacho]

I assumed he was sitting alone in his basement while holding yellowed and well worn letters from happy children who wrote in to thank him for The Phantom Menace twenty years ago, weeping softly as he raises the revolver to his head....

"im sorry.....i tried my best for you...."

Nah he's probably banging his supermodel wife on a huge pile of cash.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

This was posted already but I laughed at Hero Hei's coverage of it:

Why yes Hei, he is indeed retarded. He's a grown manbaby with a round toddler face who plays Pokemon Go and posts about it on Twitter.

Can some clever autist consolidate all the leaked footage in one post that can be linked too? I would do it myself but I am on a phone atm.

I'll see what I can do after work.

Accurate.

Dude the Shadow the Hedgehog movie is going to be L I T. Hope they bring back some of the unused tracks from the game:

 

[johnny5150]

this pretty much sums up the movie.

 

[Gar For Archer]

View attachment 1058679

Is DC truly next?

I could have sworn he fucked up Justice League, but it turns out that was Joss Whedon. I always get them confused.

 

[Creep3r]

View attachment 1058679

Is DC truly next?

I heard WB might be rebooting Harry Potter. So maybe that's his next target. Considering Rowling's most recent revelation about wizards crapping themselves or on the floor, JJ might just be the perfect fit for that franchise.

 

[Silent Observer]

I can't wait until tomorrow. I hope that watching the Opening Day BO will be equivalent to watching Sargon's election results.

 

[HeyYou]

OK. I'm... impressed (?) by how fast this thread has grown in the last two days. Fucking hell. After seeing all of this recent stuff, including how the movie is under-performing in Europe my general reaction is...

View attachment 1058625

Kennedy, you ignorant slut.*

I don't like to repeat myself but it's amazing how badly they fucked up. First off, a book has to be written about this. It really does. Wait until those NDAs are done and then some enterprising person needs to get out there and do lots of interviews and compile as much dirty laundry as they can then publish it 'cause I think it'd be a seller. Lastly, let's not write off this Disney Trilogy just yet because I see a great way it can be useful: as a means of teaching film students how not to do a trilogy. Not to mention how not to do a 'sequel series'. I heard someone's already using The Last Jedi as how not to write a screenplay or something. Go further than that. Use the entire trilogy. As long as this disaster exists, there might as well be some good use out of it.

Also because I don't want to just bore you guys with a random post laughing at this shitshow, I do want to share a few thoughts regarding that recent first issue of that Rise of Kylo Ren comic. I could be wrong here 'cause this fucking thread has grown like 200 pages since I've been able to post a reply but has anyone pointed out that we're finally getting details regarding the Knights of Ren in this? And their so-called 'philosophy' is just as edge-lord as you'd imagine:

Spoiler: PAGES 3 and 4

View attachment 1058666


View attachment 1058668

Nice job there, Abrams. You really kept your promise about that whole 'we'll find out more about the Knights of Ren.' We finally are in one terrible comic.

Then there's the issue of the actual destruction of Luke's Jedi Temple. This could just be Marvel's terrible art here but the implication is that it wasn't Ben that destroyed the temple and the majority of the students but a 'outside force' that did so. If true, it's pretty damn clear to me the reasoning behind it: It's to 'white wash' Kylo a bit so it's more palatable for his so-called 'redemption'. 'Oh look, he really isn't the sci-fi equivalent of a school shooter!' Some mysterious person is behind it. He's a good boy! He didn't do nothin' wrong! '

What a bunch of trash.
*Yes, I love classic SNL. You know, before people like Akroyd went bat-shit. Well, more bat-shit than what he was in the past.

So the Knights of Ren are just Sith. Good to know.

 

[Silent Observer]

this pretty much sums up the movie.
View attachment 1058687

Disney's thinking: "There can't be angry star Wars fans if there's no OT to be a fan of"

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Bob Iger is already throwing Kennedy under the bus, and the movie hasn't even come out in the US yet:

 

[Happy Fish]

The EU did Palpatine clones and it was stupid there too, but does Rey really dab?

 

[Marco Fucko]

My wife wants to see this movie and drag me along with her, PLEASE SEND HELP!!

Have her blow you as a consolation prize tbh.

 

[Judge Holden]

The EU did Palpatine clones and it was stupid there too, but does Rey really dab?

Yes....Rey Dab

Also

Rey Flab

 

[friedshrimp]

It's shameless they're stealing from their own property or just new stuff like Korra or Avengers. Are they that dense to think people wouldn't notice? Them stealing the one-liner from the movie event of this year?

I guess this is fittingly Disney's punishment. After this they better prepare themselves with a future where only Elsa sells of all their IP, since they've killed the Star Wars brand and Marvel and the live action remakes are going the same way, if they wokefy the MCU or showcase Xi Jinping's Mulan and the Little Blackmaid.