Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Ginger Piglet said:
He has followers? And the powers that be knew of this? Why in the name of fuck didn't they at least tell someone before now? And where are these followers? Other than a bunch of strawberry flavoured stormtroopers, where are they?
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Yeah, people weren't kidding about this plot being too tightly packed. This is not something you can even go to bathroom during lol. Just 17 minutes in and I've had thrown at me that:

-Snoke was just a puppet used by the emperor for....reasons
-the emperor is not only alive, but implies he's in some form of undead due to the dark side
-also demonstrates he's more powerful than ever by raising an entire armada (and he didn't do this earlier why?)
-has an army of followers who somehow built the largest fleet in existence in secrecy
-Kylo seemingly accepting the emperor's offer to be his new vader replacement
-seems to be replacing the First Order with the Final Order
-had a who-gives-a-shit chase with the millenium falcon
-KLAAAAAUUUUUUD
-The rebels have conveniently discovered most of this above information
-Kylo still clinging to lord vader

woot, still almost 2 whole hours to go.

edit: and a scene with leia
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
15:20 mark:
Actual line "His followers have been building something for years. The largest fleet the galaxy's ever known. He calls it The Final Order"

....CAN YOU BE ANY MORE SUBTLE?
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I haven't seen a star wars movie since i walked out of the first prequel movie halfway through (I don't care for star wars, just like seeing the shitshow going on right now). For some strange reason up until now I thought the replacement for the empire was called the 'New Order". I'd go see that movie.
 
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AnOminous said:
Nobody will ever beat a movie about a giant floating head that screams about penises and then vomits guns everywhere. Best Sean Connery movie ever.
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zardoz.jpg


Still a better character than Rey.
 
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As Suburban pointed out, the pacing is too damn fast for it's own good. This to me is a sign the movie was hacked up in editing. Basically, remember the Fantastic Four reboot from a few years back? The one that had a ton of shit cut out of it and was totally different from what it was originally supposed to be as a result? Well, that was because due to poor test screenings, they knew they had a stinker on their hand so they basically hacked the movie up the best they could so it would be around 90 minutes long, make sure it was semi presentable and then released it. Why do they do this? Because more showings = More money. So they basically cut their losses with a hacked up movie rather than a longer movie that will make less and be more costly.

This strongly indicates the leaks about reshoots being true.
 
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23:30 in, a scene with a festival, that was actually doing a tiny bit of world building for once, gets flash interrupted by Rey and Kylo having another mind talk.

Dialogue sounds like it should be important, but it's so hard to take it seriously when they both keep talking like robots. Like fuck, I'm actually preferring the dumb dialogue moments from the prequels since those were at the very least entertaining, this is just goddamn boring.
 
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Mamillionaire said:
I really hope that Kylo Ren kills Baby Yoda at the end of IX. Would make for a great character arc.
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I hope they make another movie and start with a lengthy, brutal scene where they rape and murder Baby Yoda for no reason at all. There must be some fans still left out there.
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
23:30 in, a scene with a festival, that was actually doing a tiny bit of world building for once, gets flash interrupted by Rey and Kylo having another mind talk.

Dialogue sounds like it should be important, but it's so hard to take it seriously when they both keep talking like robots. Like fuck, I'm actually preferring the dumb dialogue moments from the prequels since those were at the very least entertaining, this is just goddamn boring.
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That moment when Kevin Smith would make a better writer for a Star Wars movie than what we actually ended up with.
 
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Suburban Bastard said:
15:20 mark:
Actual line "His followers have been building something for years. The largest fleet the galaxy's ever known. He calls it The Final Order"

....CAN YOU BE ANY MORE SUBTLE?
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Well, let's check the movies so far!

Vader throws Pappa-Palpatine down a reactor shaft to get his son to quit making that annoying noise
Rebels declare victory despite the Empire controlling hundreds of systems and having a massive fleet and armies.
Empire vanishes up its own ass in a puff of dollar bills
Leia becomes powerful Jedi Knight and makes Luke run off to Faggoty Island crying male tears
Han becomes deadbeat dad and loses starship to space gyppos
First Order Rises
Movies happen.

MEANWHILE!
Pappa Palpatine wakes up at the bottom of the elevator shaft, his last memory is Anakin in his leather daddy outfit leaning in for a kiss then tickling him
Waves his hand and begins building a massive fleet without workers, money, resources, infrastructure, ship-yards
Makes Snoke clones to seduce Baby Ben into Dark Side Sodomy + Mind Rape

Back with OUR HEROES
Janitor in a drum goes on his first combat mission
Random scav-chick in the desert below even slave-boy Annie steals junkpile
Fixes it by bypassing her character development.
First Order Assplodes planets full of... umm.... people?
Junkpile Ship goes from FUCKING LIGHTSPEED to Slow Children At Play Zone speeds in an instant and nobody is converted to fucking atoms or jelly.
Mexican pilot drives fighter like he stole it to shoot thingies until 1UP appears
Old Sad Smuggler is killed by Sith Crybaby over back child support payments
Scav-Girl defeats trained Sith Crybaby in duel
Janitor in a Drum gets spinal tapped by lightsaber but is OK because... reasons?
Round Beeping Ben-Wa Ball activates Memberberrie Buttplug Droid
Scav-Girl finds Force Hobo on Planet of Sadness and Faggotry

Pappa Palpatine rubbing his hands and then catching up on his Netflix watching
Rebellion doesn't sieze shipyards, resource extraction areas, gain allies or...
First Order builds ALL THE SHIPS
Pappa Palpatine spends time on hold with customer service trying to get his FB password back
Ships self-assemble underwater though magic of... um... fuck you, buy the tie in merch, faggot

Woman with danger-hair promoted to Admiral despite not being smart enough to make sure that someone refilled the gas tank on her Ovary Cruiser
Entire Rebellion down to single convoy of ships being chased by everything
Mexican Flamingo Dancer blows up big bad ship
Purple Neck Woman shames him for not letting Stronk Asian Woman blow it up or something.
Money bad...
Beeping Ben-Wa Ball used as slot machine despite the fact that conductive gold coins being shoved into a complex piece of electronics should have made it explode
Scav-Girl discovers she is best force ever
FORCE IS FEMALE - That's why it accomplishes jack shit and turns everyone into drama-llamas.
Janitor in a Drum double parks spaceship, gets arrested for being black and having a squinting potato following him and resisting arrest
Bored with becoming a Jedi Knight, Scav-Girl learns that she has the miraculous ability of all women everywhere to know perfectly what a man is thinking
Sad-Soy-Vader uses Space Magic to make long distance calls to Scav-Girl hoping to score some booty
Beeping Ben-Wa Balls ejaculates money into man's face in a golden shower
Janitor in a Drum and Potato Asian escape Bad Money Place on horses
Horses left behind, turned into glue
Scav-Girl shows up for booty call with Sad-Soy Vader
Soy-Vader kills mentor to impress titless Scav-Girl
Big Dance number with sodomites dressed in Red
Soy Vader and Scav-Girl do things
Soy-Vader doesn't get any puss or get to touch Scav-Girl's flat expanse of womanhood
Admiral Stronk Purplehair's grand plan revealed to be the power of being a woman driver
Palpatine wanders around his lair, wondering where his other flip-flop went
Rebellion lands on planet where the salt from the 2016 election is being stored
Sad Hobo Jedi does gay little Lord of the Force dance
Rebellion attacks head on into mass firepower
Potato Asian saves Janitor in a Drum from saving Rebellion forces in hopes of making a Janitor in a Potato
Five dudes, two trannies, a dead chick, and some other losers escape out the back to a blocked passageway.
Scav-Girl channels the powers of Mundane Fat and moves boulders
Entire Resistance force escapes on Flying Junkpile
Nobody accepts Resistance's collect call...

Pappa Palpatine gets with some of his Snoke Clones and starts an epic 1E AD&D game with 3d6 straight down the line, no rerolls, to teach Snoke the true meaning of evil

Oh, for fuck's sake, this just gets worse and worse...

I fucking quit

There is NO FUCKING WAY that Plan 9 From Pappa Palpy's Asshole was going to be anything but a woke Mary Sue dumpster fire. How anyone could have expected anything else out of this flaming bow of complete dogshit pressed into a ribbon on top of a giant shit-cake completely mystifies me.

This shit has been fucked from Day-One.
 
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weedsneaker13 said:
The rise of skywalker has become a joke right now.
www.youtube.com

Joker laughing scene | Joaquin Phoenix laugh

Joker Joaquin Phoenix Joker laugh Joaquin Phoenix laugh Joker 2019 Joaquin Phoenix laughing scene Joker laughing scene
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
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I find it rather fitting how Mark Hamils final desperate attempt to relive his original role that allowed him to become a screen star wound up eclipsed by none other than The Joker
BJaJ5np.png

Try as he might, this Nigga will never escape the voice actor hell he was banished to
 
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InsolentGaylord said:
As Suburban pointed out, the pacing is too damn fast for it's own good. This to me is a sign the movie was hacked up in editing. Basically, remember the Fantastic Four reboot from a few years back? The one that had a ton of shit cut out of it and was totally different from what it was originally supposed to be as a result? Well, that was because due to poor test screenings, they knew they had a stinker on their hand so they basically hacked the movie up the best they could so it would be around 90 minutes long, make sure it was semi presentable and then released it. Why do they do this? Because more showings = More money. So they basically cut their losses with a hacked up movie rather than a longer movie that will make less and be more costly.

This strongly indicates the leaks about reshoots being true.
Click to expand...
I mean I'm more surprised this means doom cock might of had an actual source this entire time.
 
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