Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[TheMysteriousAHole]

From one Prequel fan to another, here's the Visual Dictionary of the Rise of Skywalker. Or as I would like to call it, Pablo's Drunken and Overworked Attempt To Explain Stupid Shit Away For The Low Price of Twenty-Five Dollars:

SWTRSTVD .cbz

BTW guys, that link won't last forever so grab it as fast as you can. I also have a number of other visual dictionaries if you need them.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

I always felt the pod race going two rounds was odd. Don't most races go one or three times around a track?

Usually three, yes, but I think because most of the racers tend to get rekt after the first laps, the rules mandated only two laps. I'm not a lore- or film-fag on that, though, so I can only speculate.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

71% second-weekend drop. This crock of shit is still going to break even though.

Box Office: ‘Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker’ Plunges 71% On Friday

Disney and Lucasfilm’s 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' earned $26.2 million (-71%) on Friday, soaring past $300 million in North America and $600 million worldwide.

www.forbes.com

 

[ZMOT]

Even taking him out, you still have Anakin as a 10-year-old engineering wunderkind and pilot who's strong with the Force. Still had more personality than Rey mind you, but I imagine people didn't like him that much more than Jar Jar at the time.

The Phantom Edit - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

as @Ihavetinyweewee said it also depends how old you were, from what I remember and heard afterwards kids quite liked jarjar, so lucas got that right at least. I mean, there are people out there that give enough of a shit about the character that they come up with their own headcanon for a "redemption" arc.

Spoiler: make it so

'Iconic' Rose Tico will be forgotten about in less than a year.

she will be remembered for all the wrong right reasons

 

[Atomic Wangler]

So, assuming this 71% trend continues, will episode 9 manage to break a billion? This movie can "break even" all it wants, but if one of Disney's tentpole movies fails to cross a billion, I don't think Kennedy will be able to survive the wrath of the investors.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

71% second-weekend drop. This crock of shit is still going to break even though.

Box Office: ‘Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker’ Plunges 71% On Friday

Disney and Lucasfilm’s 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' earned $26.2 million (-71%) on Friday, soaring past $300 million in North America and $600 million worldwide.

www.forbes.com

It depends though on how much Disney can get globally on ticket prices (are European ticket sales cut as cucked as USA ones?) as well as how much the film cost (if I recall 600M is the estimate).

 

[2021Murder]

I always felt the pod race going two rounds was odd. Don't most races go one or three times around a track?

It was a 3 lap race. I distinctly remember that boonta years eve race was 3 laps. Ive played that stupid map enough to know it was a 3 lap race

 

[Ghostse]

So, assuming this 71% trend continues, will episode 9 manage to break a billion? This movie can "break even" all it wants, but if one of Disney's tentpole movies fails to cross a billion, I don't think Kennedy will be able to survive the wrath of the investors.

Disney will do whatever it takes to make it get over or at least close to a billion.

The real thing to note isn't the 71% week-over-week drop. What's REALLY holy shit is that a Star Wars film, only a week after release, made less money on Friday than it did on Thurday. It looks like no weekend bump. Hold on to your asses, ass holders, its gonna be a bumpy ride.

 

[Mammamia in Naziland]

I haven't seen this particular snippet posted here yet, so here we go: the Retcon Wars rage on, Ren snuffed Snoke only because of Palpie clouding his mind, and Hidalgo's fanboys are not happy:

Capt. Stephen-Ren on Twitter

“And Snoke was a test, that Palps helped them on....I feel bad poor Pablo had to help write this. Chris Terrio sucks.”

twitter.com

http://archive.is/7C5cu

The text in what I suppose is the visual dictionary says:

Snoke's entire existence has been built for this moment: to be the final test for Kylo Ren. The Supreme Leader has tested Ren's worthiness as a disciple and - unbeknownst to all - his capacity to inherit the Sith legacy. Snoke is no Sith, but his role has been designed by the Sith Eternal cultists to act as a final crucible, to groom and mold Ren into a master not only of attack, but also cunning.
Ren uses Snoke's reliance to his own advantage. Kylo outmaneuvers Snoke in an encounter engineered to misdirect the Supreme Leader's attention, and slays him, bisecting him with the skywalker lightsaber.

And, much more damning, re: Snoke:

Singular focus, imposed by his unseen master

The Retcon hurts itself in its confusion, however, since in the very same picture the dictionary also says:

Snoke gloats in his success of gathering Rey and Ren before him, for it proves without a doubt that they share a unique bond in the Force; something that features so prominently in the lore of the Sith Eternal cult.

So did Palpie know they were a fabled dyad or not? If Snoke knew, why not Palpie who made and controlled him? Shouldn't the cultists want to follow Reylo as the true item instead of the old carcass? What role was then Ren supposed to play? Was Palpie stringing along his thousands of minions, too?
They can't even keep the record straight between the movie and its supporting material! It's simply glorious, for all the wrong reasons XD

 

[Creep3r]

71% second-weekend drop. This crock of shit is still going to break even though.

Box Office: ‘Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker’ Plunges 71% On Friday

Disney and Lucasfilm’s 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' earned $26.2 million (-71%) on Friday, soaring past $300 million in North America and $600 million worldwide.

www.forbes.com

It may look good on the gross statistics and on Wikipedia, but you still have to account for how much of the cut goes to theaters, foreign distribution, marketing, etc. Regardless, this is pitiful, but if it breaks 900 and never even reaches Rogue One numbers, Disney will try to spin this as a success.

The Phantom Edit - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

as @Ihavetinyweewee said it also depends how old you were, from what I remember and heard afterwards kids quite liked jarjar, so lucas got that right at least.

Don't be too sure. My old man and all the boomers I knew loved Jar Jar as much as the kids did, while teenagers and young adults were indifferent, stopped giving a shit quickly or were mixed in opinion. My youngest little cousin never really gave a shit about the prequels or SW much for that matter since he was a baby at the time of the prequels release, and he only watched them around 2007 and he wasn't that interested in them, but he started getting all angsty and angry about the prequels around 2013 for some reason.

It depends though on how much Disney can get globally on ticket prices (are European ticket sales cut as cucked as USA ones?) as well as how much the film cost (if I recall 600M is the estimate).

All we can be sure of is that this shit won't make TLJ numbers, but even then it won't be enough to make up for the losses. There's also the whole 4 billion dollar waste that was Galaxy's Edge which has no bearing on the movies, but the losses from there may already have Lucasfilm in hot water.

 

[Ghostse]

Episode I probably is the most underrated Star Wars movie because while it did have dumb moments (mainly with Anakin and Jar Jar) it still felt like a fun and intriguing movie even if it's far from the best

Phantom Menace was the structure of a good story, but the execution was fairly terrible. It could have been good, the concept of a good movie was there, it just didn't get executed.
The intro was both too long & slow while also not really giving me a reason to care or be invested in the characters. We are TOLD the trade federation are the bad guys, but not really shown for a long time.

I wonder now if it would have worked better as a TV show/mini-series. It was just too slow for a movie, let alone a sci-fi action/adventure film.

 

[verissimus]

Anyone else looking forward to August 2020?

For what exactly (not joking by the way)?

@Ghostse heavily disagree not unless aspects of the Phantom Menace were changed. As far as I'm concerned, the whole prequel trilogy should have focuesd primarily on the Clone wars and the Jedi. We didn't need to see Palpatine go from senator to chancellor or kid Anakin or even Qui Gon. Just start us off with teenage Anakin and Obi-wan and have say Anakin be the protagonist of the first two movies and Obi-wan the last movie.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Phantom Menace was the structure of a good story, but the execution was fairly terrible. It could have been good, the concept of a good movie was there, it just didn't get executed.
The intro was both too long & slow while also not really giving me a reason to care or be invested in the characters. We are TOLD the trade federation are the bad guys, but not really shown for a long time.

I wonder now if it would have worked better as a TV show/mini-series. It was just too slow for a movie, let alone a sci-fi action/adventure film.

I felt differently. Title crawl aside, we see leaders of the Trade Federation conspiring with a Dark Lord of the Sith to force a treaty with a planet they've surrounded & kill anyone in their way, which just so happened to be Jedi. This is preceded by them landing an invasion force on Naboo, as ordered by Lord Sidious. Pretty sure everyone watching knew they were the bad guys within the first 10 minutes, and wanted the two Jedi to win, despite neither of them being a farm boy or a rogue smuggler. They're mystical space samurai serving the galactic republic.

It could arguably have been more bloated and boring as a TV show or mini-series. Imagine how much exposition and idle babble they'd pad out each episode with. The only good side I could think of is getting to see more of the inner workings of the Jedi Order, including the trials Obi-Wan would've undergone sometime after the Battle of Naboo. Otherwise, the pacing isn't too bad: escape the TF control ship, go to underwater city, head to Theed via dangerous route, bust out the Queen and her entourage, narrowly break through the blockade and have to land on Tatooine for repairs, bet on pod-racing, go to Coruscant for Jedi business & The Senate, and finally go back to Naboo and wage a war against robots. Not as straight-forward as "save the princess", but between the coming-and-going and the occasional Jar Jar gag, it doesn't leave me too bored even during the political intrigue scenes.

 

[AnOminous]

I think a lot of people mellowed on the prequels because they became embedded in a pretty decent EU. Now when they see the characters and plot elements, it's hard to divorce them from the video games, shows and books that came after. With the way the new EU has been going, I don't think Disney SW will be that lucky, but who knows.

The prequels were bad but not in a "walk out of the theater enraged at having been ripped off" way, but in a way that after reflecting for a while, you conclude they just weren't very good. They were enjoyable enough to watch, though, and worth the time and money spent.

There's a big difference between the badness of a disposable popcorn movie and a movie that gleefully takes a shit on your nostalgia just to piss you off out of pure spite.

 

[Jaimas]

For what exactly (not joking by the way)?

@Ghostse heavily disagree not unless aspects of the Phantom Menace were changed. As far as I'm concerned, the whole prequel trilogy should have focuesd primarily on the Clone wars and the Jedi. We didn't need to see Palpatine go from senator to chancellor or kid Anakin or even Qui Gon. Just start us off with teenage Anakin and Obi-wan and have say Anakin be the protagonist of the first two movies and Obi-wan the last movie.

Bill and Ted Face the Music, for one.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

It may look good on the gross statistics and on Wikipedia, but you still have to account for how much of the cut goes to theaters, foreign distribution, marketing, etc. Regardless, this is pitiful, but if it breaks 900 and never even reaches Rogue One numbers, Disney will try to spin this as a success.

They already are. I see ads on YouTube (I use the mobile app so I can't avoid them) that proclaim it's the number one movie in the world. Even if that's technically true it's not going to do nearly as well as even TLJ and TLJ had that massive plunge. Breaking even is not the same as making a profit, but of course Disney can't admit that lest they admit that they fucked this series hard.

 

[Tookie]

So did Palpie know they were a fabled dyad or not? If Snoke knew, why not Palpie who made and controlled him? Shouldn't the cultists want to follow Reylo as the true item instead of the old carcass? What role was then Ren supposed to play? Was Palpie stringing along his thousands of minions, too?
They can't even keep the record straight between the movie and its supporting material! It's simply glorious, for all the wrong reasons XD

The movie wasn't even clear in the throne room redux scene. I still have no idea if Palpatine was luring them both there to drain their life force or if that was a spur-of-the-moment decision when they both refused to go along with him.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

It's interesting that, about 3 years late, the studio execs learned of the phenomenon of Rotten Tomatoes ratio and gamed the audience score.... Only to piss off the critic commmunity so the film get's the opposite ratio.
That's cathartic as hell.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

Shit, I'll take an Alien 5 with old Michael Biehn and Sigourney Weaver. I'm not interested in yet another movie about David the gay genocidal android.

Quite right.

Thanks, I didn't know about this. Too bad Cameron cares more about Space Indians than making good Terminator or Alien flicks.

To clarify, I didn't mean to suggest that Cameron was involved in the production of Alien, but rather that his work on Aliens was hugely influential in popularizing and "expanding" what most people think of when that universe comes up in conversation: the insectile hierarchy of the xenomorphs, the United States Colonial Marines and their oddly hand-in-glove relationship with the Weyland-Yutani corporation and so on and so forth. I think Scott may resent how popular Cameron's sequel was and that's why he was so eager to stonewall Blomkamp's proposed Aliens follow-up, which would of course have been a love-letter to Cameron's influence over the franchise.

 

[TheMysteriousAHole]

My dad used to have the Star Wars Radio Drama set on audiocasette.

If you can flag 'em down, they're absolutely worth your time, especially if you're an OT fan.

I'm going to support this suggestion so fucking hard. I cannot describe how much I love the radio dramas. I've always felt it was one hell of a misstep that Lucasfilms never did a radio drama adaptation of the Prequels. If need be, I can archive up the radio dramas for you guys 'cause they need to be listened to. The only complaint I have of them... was Return of the Jedi was too short. But I blame a combination of it being delayed 13 years to Congressional cuts to the NPR and other factors. A sad side note is that Brian Daley, great author who also adapted the trilogy to radio, unfortunately passed away due to pancreatic cancer shortly after they finished recording ROTJ.

View attachment 1071495

Oh Pablo. I had to point this out since the radio drama is on my mind. Look at the first paragraph on that page. 'The everchanging patterns of the Force converge...'

That, ladies and gentlemen, came from the radio dramas. It was a concept that Mr. Daley created and referenced throughout the radio dramas. It also shows that Pablo certainly has a deep knowledge of the lore (from a certain standpoint, he bragged recently about finally discovering the 'New York' stamp at the bottom of one of the Graflex lightsabers in The Empire Strikes Back... you know, something that prop fans have known about for decades.)

I'll never deny that he loves Star Wars but too bad he's a prick these days.