Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Cyril Sneer]

Happy new year guys, here for a 2020 where Star Wars goes back to being good.

Happy new year, Kiwis. This is the way.

 

[Adamska]

Honestly, this trilogy should have been all about Kylo Ren's path to the light while Rey was in the path of darkness. It should have been the story of a "Dark knight" slowly becoming a "Paladin" akin to Final Fantasy 4 while Rey slowly becomes power hungry with ep 8 being the one where she tell she HIM to let the past die and that he should join her to destroy it all...He would refuse saying he can't do this anymore...he knows he can't fix what he has done but he intends to put an end to the evil he helped before. Then I think Rey could meet with her grandpa (if we are going with that) while Kylo is left for dead after Rey beats him, revealing he truly can't embrace the darkness like her...
Kylo would be saved by Luke as the new Supreme Leader Rey Palpatine takes over. Her first demand is to turn it into her "Final Order".
Ep 9 would be Ben having to become an icon of the light once more to defeat or redeem Rey and "Finish what vader started"

Kill Palpatine once and for all.


Kylo: I can't defeat her...
Luke: no...Kylo ren cannot. Its impossible...Ben Solo however...may have a chance...
Kylo:.....can you forgive me, uncle?
Luke: *handles him a blue kyber Crystal * your mother's...She wanted Ben to have it when he was ready...and you are.
Ben:.......*holds it*.....thank you, master Luke...
Luke: I'm your uncle first. Don't forget that.
*the force theme playing in the background*

It's telling that using a 16 bit era plot twist that in and of itself is quite old would've made a better finale than what we got.

I mean, shit at this point I could probably get my dogs to write a better story, and none of them can read.

Imagine running your campaign on shilling for free for a corporation and then claim that you are defending democracy, lol.

The funny part is he still got like 25% of the vote last time he tried to embezzle money like this.

 

[Ghostse]

Hayden did nothing wrong. The script called for an angry awkward young man and holy shit did he deliver.

Jake Lloyd's performance lived up to the Mannekin Skywalker for the character (Which is to say anyone who directly said such to the boy is a fucking sped and needs to examine their life). Since the role unfortunately ruined his career and life, I can't tell if that's just how he was, or if that's what Lucas wanted from him. In any case, afaiac, all fault for how the role turned out falls on Lucas.

Hayden, OTOH, did his role perfectly. The only thing he did wrong was read the lines exactly as Lucas wrote them in Ep 2, which given his age and standing at the time I can't really fault him for. The problems I have with Annakin in 2 & 3 (specifically being really fucking emo and his ...interesting....life choices. 'wife and kids are dead....guess I'll die become the emporer's genocidal right hand') are all down to scripting and nothing Hayden could have done anything about.

 

[2021Murder]

That could have been fun if done right. Hell, use it to poke some fun at Star Trek!
Kelly could have been in full body catsuit and incapacitated Finn with a fob like device that fires a stun beam. The rest of the movie she spouts techno-babble with a few inspirational quotes chucked in. Add a scene where she re-adjustes her suit after getting up from her seat for maximum nerd points.

That or go full on Flash Gordon or Buck Rodger's with the concept. Let's hope 2020 is a better year for Star Wars.

Do we have any hot pictures of her?

Also what month do you think we will hit page 2020? Im thinking July

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Brianna Wu's fundraising emails have gone out, and this season has something magical:

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RUSSIAN BOTS MADE TLJ'S METASCORE SUCK
IF ELECTED I WILL INVESTIGATE THIS

When I say this, I'm not even trying to make a joke, that is actually what came to my mind:
This reads like a nigerian prince scam E-Mail.

It's an E-Mail asking people to support her (supposed) political cause, and she opens up with "So, I heard you like Staaaaar Waaaars~", it's shameful. Especially this "as a software engineer" bullcrap.
If you have to lead your statement with verifying your status, that means you don't have that status, you only claim to have it. "As a software engineer . . . . I utterly lack the competence to make an argument based on its own merits, so I have to present it with the prelude of refering to myself as a person of knowledge, otherwise, people will know this is a scam."
Tywin Lannister said it best: "A man who has to say 'I am King' is no true King at all."

 

[Jaimas]

Happy new year, Kiwis. This is the way.

There's an article going around that ya boi Favreau may be handling the franchise going forward.

I want to believe.

 

[AlexJonesGotMePregnant]

the best way to recover the series is to give into fan service entirely and have the next star wars be a senrin kagura style anime and finally let finn/poe be fags together (also skinny rose and rey)

 

[Archeops]

I just finished checking up on the Boyega thing and it just puts a smile on my face to not only see someone who works in the industry rightfully talk shit about the ST's shipping scene and how rabid it's become, but seeing the amount of support and praise he's been getting for doing so. It's times like this that make me wish content creators would just tell the shippers to either not take it so seriously (yes, I know I'm being as hell here) or to fuck off elsewhere, actual fans will support your decision if it's reasonable while trender fucks will bitch and moan until you cave in and give into their insane demands.

It reminds me of ATLA's run, you had insane shippers in the form of Zutarians that insisted their ship would be canon and they bitched so much about it not being so when the show ended with Aang and Katara sharing a proper kiss. IIRC it got SO bad that the crew made joke video that made fun of the show's shipping scene and played it at SDCC 2008's ATLA panel. And yes, some Zutara shippers were PISSED about it.

I guess that phrase Yoda said all those years ago finally makes sense now...

"Mysterious are the ways of the fandoms."

 

[verissimus]

ALL THE FEELS!

Twitter

Just imagine the welcoming exchange they shared when they met up. It might have been something like Hayden saying, hey I remember you. You're that youngling my character killed. Hey wanna take a selfie with me for the lols?

 

[Miller]

...
View attachment 1076664View attachment 1076666
And this is the character Disney wants to force us to accept as Leia's best friend and potential crush (at least on Holdo's part for now)...

Also she doesn't wear shoes. Typical 50+ year old hippie wine aunt.

I brought this up to a friend on how weird and sexless ep 7 felt, and that for all of Disney's crowing of how progressive they were, the made sure to shut down any possibility of a black man kissing a white girl faster than locking up Song of the South deep in the Disney Vault.

The entire concept of love has been completely absent in this Sequel Trilogy and love is a big part of Star Wars. The Reylo stuff and the Finn/Rose crap didn't feel natural at all.

 

[Table Country]

Apparently this idiot actually ranked The Rise Of Skywalker AND The Force Awakens higher than RoTJ and the prequels.

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Yes, nu-wars fans have an irrational hatred for ROTJ because of Ewoks. I don't know the exact reason but I think it has something to do with George supposedly selling out.

 

[Adamska]

Yes, nu-wars fans have an irrational hatred for ROTJ because of Ewoks. I don't know the exact reason but I think it has something to do with George selling out.
View attachment 1077313

Because they want to pretend they watched those movies is my guess.

Also kudos to Boyega dunking on shipper freaks. I especially love how much it casually highlights that for all the progressive bleating they do, they're still racists that hate miscegenation and think Chinamen are a massive audience of dumb consoomers.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I don't know the exact reason but I think it has something to do with George selling out.

Because "OMG THEY WERE ONLY MADE TO SELL TOYS AND GEORGE LUCAS SUCKS THEY ARE AS BAD AS JARJAR!!!!!! HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY HAVE BEATEN THE EMPIRE WITH STICKS AND SHIT"

They haven't cracked a fucking history book long enough to read about you know..The Vietnam War, or looked into how Ewoks came to be since the original idea was for it to be Chewbacca's home world, but they nixed that because it would have made Chewie less unique and interesting.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

Yes, nu-wars fans have an irrational hatred for ROTJ because of Ewoks. I don't know the exact reason but I think it has something to do with George supposedly selling out.
View attachment 1077313

The weirdest strain of nu-wars fans I've seen are those who hate the Jabba sequence. The Jabba sequence is perfectly paced and perfectly executed, but its not about rebels vs. empire so it sucks according to their logic.

"Needs more 'Yo Momma' jokes." -JJ Abrams

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Bringing back Lucas as the head creative force would make things worse imo....

Man doesn't need to stress about this crap at this age. He made a setting for others to tell stories in, that's enough...

Perhaps, he could try to fix the Skywalker stuff as it was left. But, I think the best course of action is moving on...

What you want him to do is vett and appoint a proper creative tream

In an ideal world, Lucas (with Feloni) would get the team in place: then Lucas would run lectures/seminars discussing Star Wars. Making the creators read his influences. Then discussing his successes and failures with the property...

Thats more fitting for a man of his experience and more useful imo...

Passing on knowledge to people that understand, to George, what Star Wars is...

 

[Fluoxetine Man]

The weirdest strain of nu-wars fans I've seen are those who hate the Jabba sequence.

What?! That's the best part of ROTJ next to anything involving the throne room. It also gave us this:

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

The entire concept of love has been completely absent in this Sequel Trilogy and love is a big part of Star Wars. The Reylo stuff and the Finn/Rose crap didn't feel natural at all.

I would put it like this: TLJ and Plan IX have kissing, but they have absolutely no romance whatsoever, they only have the cold, almost mechanical, pressing of lips against lips and that's all. TFA has sort of chemnistry between Finn and Rey, but it amounts to absolutely nothing in the end, since come TLJ, they get seperated and from then on, the plot goes in stupid directions to give the audience kisses free of any passion or emotion. - just to have a "romantic" moment without ever having earned it.
In case of TLJ, we don't even have buildup, just like the "Holdo was a genius strategist all along" thing, we don't get shown how this developes, there's just a scene where Rose kisses Finn and the audience then just has to accept that Rose loves him without anything leading up to this and no reason is given (like, what did he do to make her love him?). The movie grabs some silly trope, jabs it in front of our faces and then goes "See? This is what you have to believe now." It's complete shite.
So, of course Kylo and Rey now love each other - or is it just Kylo that loves Rey? Don't know, don't care, doesn't matter.

I still believe that Rey being taken by surprise by shirtless Kylo was Ruin trying to be funny by having them have a moment that should be tense by making it awkward combined with him pulling a "I have to redeem Kylo - cause the OT had something similar" and that somehow spiralled out of control into this shitty romance plot... but I could be wrong and Ruin genuinely tried to set up a romance.

It's just so weird, had they planned their plot to end up where we are after Plan IX and worked towards it from TFA onwards, it might be less of a trainwreck, but it would still be bad. But what we got is utter trash. There's the expression "larger than the sum of its parts" and this is the exact opposite. The ST is "smaller than the sum of its parts".
TFA is a servicable mess that manages to look nice and have a few decent setups burried under endless lense-flares, regurgitated plotpoints and thinly veiled attacks against the OT.
TLJ is a terrible movie with shitty pacing, an outright, obvious contempt for its own franchise, audience and their intelligence, and it goes to great lengths to unravel what little original plot we had.
Plan IX is a hastily cobbled together mess of a movie, that tries to cover plot for an entire trilogy while pretending to be in continuity with the other two movies, despite all movies contradicting each other.

But watching the entire trilogy must be a treat of its own, where all shortcomings just pile higher and higher. No major character or developement is worked towards, every movie is essentially a standalone movie that barely ties in with the rest - to a point where I would claim that you can watch them in any order and they'd make almost as much sense as watching them in the correct order. So, while the individual movies are pretty bad, the way how they interconnect (or rather: how they just don't fit together) makes this trilogy an utter waste of time.
And I hope, that is going to be exactly the opinion that will prevail in the long run, that the ST might have made a neat amount of cash, but the movies were trash without value.

 

[friedshrimp]

Gonna be hard since the films are backed by Disney and identity politics and we all know how Disney slaves and SJWs react to criticism.

However more and more people are finally seeing the truth for what it is, the SJWs have reacted badly to no Stormpilot and the Reylo ending, saying it supports abuse and homophobia, and more normal viewers how all the new characters are bland one-dimensional tokens when they're not spitting in the face of the OT's characters (Kylo and Rey, mostly).

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Gonna be hard since the films are backed by Disney and identity politics and we all know how Disney slaves and SJWs react to criticism.

However more and more people are finally seeing the truth for what it is, the SJWs have reacted badly to no Stormpilot and the Reylo ending, saying it supports abuse and homophobia, and more normal viewers how all the new characters are bland one-dimensional tokens when they're not spitting in the face of the OT's characters (Kylo and Rey, mostly).

I think Disney will just concentrate on the main demographic they purchased the property for(at this time):

7-13 year old boys. That's who they need to hook from now on...

The may dabble with 'expanding the brand' someday, but that's been nothing but a headache for them currently.

If they had their way: it would be 7-13 year old chinese boys.

What are they into culturally?

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

What are they into culturally?

Winnie the Poo.