5/22/2019 - Tom gets a TV interview - And they can only play about two sentences

[BigTodd]

https://www.kold.com/2019/05/23/old-pueblo-poems-help-bring-rhythm-back-downtown/ (http://archive.li/rf3Lb)

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

When Tom plays, it always sounds like cars honking or ducks mating.

That was my poem.

 

[Army Burger]

Tom plays the sax
He sucks to the max
He begs for cash
So he can get him some hash
But no one in Tuscon
Likes to hear his song
So he plays for free
And gets trolled by Tyree

 

[MasterDisaster]

Is that a toy saxophone? It looks like a child's practice one.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Is that a toy saxophone? It looks like a child's practice one.

That's a soprano saxophone. Professionals usually use the straight version like Kenny G's because the curved one looks like a toy.

 

[Army Burger]

Is that a toy saxophone? It looks like a child's practice one.

Wouldn't be surprised considering his preferred age...

 

[Asperchewy]

I called it! Turtles CAN play Kmart saxophones on local turkey news... Wheres my $20 Gook Choy?

 

[Sparkletor]

TUSCON
a poem by Sparkletor

The cars rush by
People too busy
To stop
And smell
The week old ground beef
Cradled in the city's womb
A dumpster
But Tommy will
TRANS form
The discarded meat
Into a
WONDERFUL
Meal

And all the cockroaches clapped

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

Who'd have thunk it, Downtown Tucson looks like Downtown Calgary but even more depressing, doubly so with Tom's... erm, music?

 

[Army Burger]

There once was a man from Chicago
Who liked to jerk off his doggo
He gave her a wank
In an act so rank
It left all with feelings of sorrow

 

[The Reaper]

That's a soprano saxophone. Professionals usually use the straight version like Kenny G's because the curved one looks like a toy.

Straightened soprano gets to a similar length of larger saxophones. You have it out in front of you its a bit more familiar regarding where it lies near your body.

I'd have to take a look at some different models, but curved ones might have different ergonomics: Finger positions might actually be smaller as there is less room for the key work.

If what I said doesn't really make sense watch footage of Tommy holding the horn. He's a little smaller than average but you see the horn doesn't really cross his midline. When I sit with my alto it lands directly in front of me in-between my legs and about an inch or two off the chair if I'm in playing position. My arms are also in a comfortable spot where I'm not crunching to hold the horn. If I were to hold his soprano it would be way out in front of me in a very, VERY awkward way and as a result my arms would be wonky. With a straight soprano you have more space for the instrument, and how its held would be a bit more like Alto or tenor.

 

[Bob's Vagene]

Wow what a feminine goddess. I'd hit it.

 

[BigTodd]

From what I can gather, Tom has no idea how to play anything on the sax and less knowledge of what sax he should be playing. I think he just strings together random notes and claims that makes him some sort of musical savant.

 

[Captain Manning]

I get the point of Jazz is that it's basically freestyle and improv, but you're still expected to sound good Tommy. It's not supposed to sound like geese mating or nails on a chalkboard.

 

[Dr. Troon]

I love how the reporter sounds like she's struggling to get through the report without hearing Tommy's awful screeching sax.

 

[YourUnclesDad]

Of course a boring worthless news segment would feature Tom as the main attraction. If they only knew he was a kiddie rapist. I wonder how much rambling nonsense they had to sift through to find something suitable for TV.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Of course a boring worthless news segment would feature Tom as the main attraction. If they only knew he was a kiddie rapist. I wonder how much rambling nonsense they had to sift through to find something suitable for TV.

My favorite part was when she announced Tooter as Tommi Jayne. I'm sure Tommy thought that that adding the Jayne at the end would make his female soul more apparent when it just sounds like a surename and Tom still looked like a man. I don't understand why they're always publicizing hobos on TV.

 

[Army Burger]

I don't understand why they're always publicizing hobos on TV.

Probably just some filler content on a slow news day

 

[DarkCast]

The way they just kept randomly throwing in snippets of Tooter's saxastrophe randomly, best laugh I had all day.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

My favorite part was when she announced Tooter as Tommi Jayne. I'm sure Tommy thought that that adding the Jayne at the end would make his female soul more apparent when it just sounds like a surename and Tom still looked like a man. I don't understand why they're always publicizing hobos on TV.

Well, this is awkward.