The real reason California keeps catching on fire

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I heard this from my pa who heard it from Rush Limbaugh, so I know this is legit.

Here's the reason California keeps getting wildfires.

In civilized places like the East, we cut down trees underneath power lines. It's a common feature of the terrain that usually goes ignore, but if you start looking for it you see it everywhere: long rows of open terrain, neat, with power lines running over them, cutting through the forest.

In California, envirofags (or incompetence) has prevented them from cutting down the trees properly. Thus, when something causes sparks to fly from the lines, those sparks have a chance of catching on the characteristically dry canopy, starting a wildfire.

 

[TenMilesWide]

It's actually because they're gay and God's punishing them.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

It's actually because they're gay and God's punishing them.

Yeah, I always kind of just figured that the dimensional walls between our world and the fiery pits of hell were just thinner there for whatever reason.

 

[whatever I feel like]

X to doubt.

 

[Marco Fucko]

I haven't been to Cali in forever but this sounds reasonable.

It's actually because they're gay and God's punishing them.

>implying God isn't spitefully jerking off to our slow demise

 

[A Cardboard Box]

They are supposed to do that. That's the major issue and why PG&E is being sued. They are greedy bastards that don't maintain their long transmission infrastructure, which includes pruning and clearing the buffer around the lines. Over decades of incompetence and mismanagement, the buffers have become overgrown and have begun to come into contact with the lines.

 

[B. F. Bugleberry]

California keeps catching on fire because it ain't got much water, it's got flammable shit, and a lotta manmade reasons for fires to spontaneously start. Basically an assholes version of the fire triangle.

Cuttin trees down near powerlines is basically just a shitty version of a firebreak. If you cut the trees down, you still would have a ton of grass and leaves/litter that would allow fire to bridge that gap. Fire moves much quicker through small shit rather than trees anyway.

Instead of running a bulldoser down to mineral soil through those firebreaks twice a year, those gaps allow wildland firefighters to rapidly dig line and corral fires. But there's too many fires, too dry, powerlines throwing sparks, assholes with cigarettes, arsonists, just a shitshow. There's much more "flammable" places, like eastern Washington, or God forbid Idaho during a drought a la the Big Burn of 1910, or anywhere else southwest, but Cali just has the best optimisation of the shitty fire triangle through population.

God doesn't just hate California; wildland firefighters love money, and God loves firefighters.

 

[now watch this drive 911]

"Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable; ignited trees have been known to explode. "

"In the 1850s, Eucalyptus trees were introduced to California by Australians during the California Gold Rush."

>Hey California, plant these wicked cool trees - you'll love them. Trust me.

Wherever they go, they must also shitpost.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

They are supposed to do that. That's the major issue and why PG&E is being sued. They are greedy bastards that don't maintain their long transmission infrastructure, which includes pruning and clearing the buffer around the lines. Over decades of incompetence and mismanagement, the buffers have become overgrown and have begun to come into contact with the lines.

So you're telling me that Limbaugh was blowing smoke about it being the fault of evil Communist environmentalists?

 

[B. F. Bugleberry]

So you're telling me that Limbaugh was blowing smoke about it being the fault of evil Communist environmentalists?

Commie environmentalists are at fault, and also capitalist corporations. It's almost like there is a hidden third variable...

California is a genuinely cursed land, a reverse Midas, and anything it touches instantly turns into pure shit.

 

[The Reaper]

Commie environmentalists are at fault, and also capitalist corporations. It's almost like there is a hidden third variable...

California is a genuinely cursed land, a reverse Midas, and anything it touches instantly turns into pure shit.

That's not true my socialist friends told me if you compare California to the rest of the US it has the highest GDP, is extremely prosperous, and could secede successfully unlike that evil backwards state Texas.

Why ever would they lie to me?

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

"Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable; ignited trees have been known to explode. "

"In the 1850s, Eucalyptus trees were introduced to California by Australians during the California Gold Rush."

>Hey California, plant these wicked cool trees - you'll love them. Trust me.

Wherever they go, they must also shitpost.

 

[Lemmingwise]

Society grows great when old men plant trees whose explosive fires they know they shall never sit in

 

[DeusVult]

Really? I thought racism and stigma may be to blame.

Spoiler

Fuck California, it should be separated by the Trump's wall from the rest of the US.

 

[???]

I've been a lot of places in the USA, including California.

In Kentucky, there is a 25 to 50 foot gap on either side of power lines (the big metal ones that look like giant erector sets). There's some brush underneath, but it's cut every year or two. There's basically no way a tree could fall on a line and catch fire.

In California there is no gap, trees grow right up to the power lines, and under them in some cases.

Kentucky is also very lax relative to California regarding air pollution. Wood stoves are legal in the former, but heavily regulated in the latter. IIRC you can only burn pellet stoves in California. Anyways, there's no incentive for normal people to cut down or chop up deadwood and fallen trees on their property or public property in California, so it accumulates.

California also didn't let you thin forests of trees below a certain radius - even private property - so forests are clogged with too much close growing and therefore unhealthy (and constantly dying) small trees.

In Ohio we would thin forests so valuable woods had room and light enough to grow, for lumber and firewood. Harvesting private lots of lumber in California is so burdensome with regulations that only big corporations can afford to do it.

California has laws that create incentives for power companies to spend money on green energy shit that is statistically insignificant in regards to power produced when/where it is needed, and in total. Most providers aren't dumb enough to chase these subsidies over essential maintenance, but PG&E - being chock full of people who are employed solely due to ethnic nepotism, sex (both meanings), and politics - chases these short-term gains over long term profits.

It's doubly ironic because the people the left claims are toothless inbred backwards hillbillies understand cause and effect better than those hyper-intelligent enlightened Buddhists who KNOW better than the rest of us... yet those geniuses can't do basic maintenance to prevent catastrophic loss of life and property.

tl;dr

Mother Gaia worshippers make the laws in Commiefornia without regard to long-term consequences or nth order effects.

 

[Kacho]

California keeps catching on fire because KY jelly is highly flammable.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable; ignited trees have been known to explode. "

"In the 1850s, Eucalyptus trees were introduced to California by Australians during the California Gold Rush."

>Hey California, plant these wicked cool trees - you'll love them. Trust me.

Wherever they go, they must also shitpost.

Australia gave California Territorial Eucalyptus Trees.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

California keeps burning because God sent his only begotten son there and Jesus parked in Hollywood because the parking sign had an infinite number of mutually contradictory clauses on it in ever decreasing font sizes and he reckoned it was safe to park for up to 43 minutes. While eating a terrible, dysentery laden, burrito in a nearby restaurant with a bunch of worst case pod people he heard his car alarm go off, came out and had to pay a small fortune to stop them towing his car. After being patronized by leftists and cheated by Mexicans who'd culturally appropriated his name he went back to heaven and told his Dad to torch the fucking place.

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

California keeps burning because God sent his only begotten son there and Jesus parked in Hollywood because the parking sign had an infinite number of mutually contradictory clauses on it in ever decreasing font sizes and he reckoned it was safe to park for up to 43 minutes. While eating a terrible, dysentery laden, burrito in a nearby restaurant with a bunch of worst case pod people he heard his car alarm go off, came out and had to pay a small fortune to stop them towing his car. After being patronized by leftists and cheated by Mexicans who'd culturally appropriated his name he went back to heaven and told his Dad to torch the fucking place.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

 

[Rei is shit]

The real solution is to crush the leaf and take their water. The NAWPA will live again!