Containment Random Chris Updates

[Chrus Chundlur]

Welp, sometimes the ugly girls are the most sexually adventerous simply because they have the least chances.

Divorcees, divorcees are generally pretty damn wild too.

I'd definitely kill the one in the middle. That fucking swamp monster brings back bad memories that can only be cleansed with fire. The other two seem equally gross to me, so I don't know.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

As has already been said, Chris would dump his imaginary paramours (or at least pretend that they'd declared that they were happy with a Platonic relationship) like a shot if a real woman came on to him.

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

 

[Tikbalang]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

Does he has trust issues?

 

[The Un-Clit]

Does he has trust issues?

After 20+ years of being trolled relentlessly by the world including himself it's astounding he's not completely paranoid about any and all relationships.

It speaks much to the resilliance imparted to him by the 'tism that he's not alot more fucked up then he already is, tbph.

 

[EvilFatjon]

Does he has trust issues?

After 20+ years of being trolled relentlessly by the world including himself it's astounding he's not completely paranoid about any and all relationships.

It speaks much to the resilliance imparted to him by the 'tism that he's not alot more fucked up then he already is, tbph.

Yeah, that could be the case. Maybe, just maybe, Chris is trying to stop with the Sweethearts because they all were trolls. And I also thought of the polyamorous marriage as a way of protecting himself psychologically.

Maybe he is just tired of suffering. You remember about Catherine? She looked alright, until she revealed herself as a troll. I got real mad at her- I thought it was already time for Chris to finally get some love. It wasn't the case, though.

Only time will tell if that's a psychological strategy to protect himself or if he is really immersed on the bullshit the Idea Guys caused. I would bet in both.

 

[Mason Verger]

After 20+ years of being trolled relentlessly by the world including himself it's astounding he's not completely paranoid about any and all relationships.

It speaks much to the resilliance imparted to him by the 'tism that he's not alot more fucked up then he already is, tbph.

Chris: Online relationships are a bust! Everyone online is a troll and I’ll only meet people in person!

Chris 4 months later: I’d like y’all to meet my sweetheart Jessica Quinn who I assure you is %100 real!


This is why I don’t feel bad for Chris, he does learn from his mistakes. He just promptly decided to forget or disregard the lesson.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Becoming obsessed with Internet personalities doesn't make any sense. I think Chris is just trying to filter out the plebits and pounce on the famous Chyna.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

After 20+ years of being trolled relentlessly by the world including himself it's astounding he's not completely paranoid about any and all relationships.

It speaks much to the resilliance imparted to him by the 'tism that he's not alot more fucked up then he already is, tbph.

Chris is just neging her, using those pick up artist talents.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Yeah, that could be the case. Maybe, just maybe, Chris is trying to stop with the Sweethearts because they all were trolls. And I also thought of the polyamorous marriage as a way of protecting himself psychologically.

Or maybe he just understands his lot and how no attractive, young girl would ever have anything to do with him.

 

[Tikbalang]

Or maybe he just understands his lot and how no attractive, young girl would ever have anything to do with him.

Having imaginary figures as spouses just makes it worse
Also he likes getting cucked

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

I hate to say it, but maybe it's for the best. Women don't get creeped on and Chris doesn't get trolled

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

Being the fucking slob he is, maybe at some level he came to the conclusion that, like being an adult or not being a goddamn moron, having a girlfriend was just too much work. Imaginary ones on the other hand are easy-peasy, since they never disagree with him, demand anything from him and their "love" is absolutely unconditional.

Maybe he is just tired of suffering. You remember about Catherine? She looked alright, until she revealed herself as a troll. I got real mad at her- I thought it was already time for Chris to finally get some love. It wasn't the case, though.

To this day, I can't still wrap my mind around about how many of you guys here entertained the delirious idea that Catherine could possibly be for real. Specially since she was painted as a neurotypical person. A turbo-deranged, gross sped like Sockness is the highest Chris can realistically aim for.

 

[Mason Verger]

To this day, I can't still wrap my mind around about how many of you guys here entertained the delirious idea that Catherine could possibly be for real. Specially since she was painted as a neurotypical person. A turbo-deranged, gross sped like Sockness is the highest Chris can realistically aim for.

Even Sockness really only wants to ride Chris’s noteriety, not his dick. The fact that Catherine recorded everything and had a guy shadow them on all their “dates” really should indicate her intentions to people. I’d say wallflower was the closest Chris ever came to truly having a girlfriend. He actually seemed to be playing his cards right with her for a while there, they went to a movie together, he showed interest in her stupid stories, but then he had to go Chris it all up.

 

[Shiversblood]

Even Sockness really only wants to ride Chris’s noteriety, not his dick.

I agree. Also, I think only a homosexual male would be foolish to have sex with Chris Chan and he would only do it for the sake of becoming famous online. I’m actually glad that females are not willing to have sex with Chris Chan for the sake of becoming online famous. Sockness was willing to actually have sexual relations with Chris Chan however Chris got scared and told him to turn around and not to come. However, with a female troll Chris would want to have sex with her.

females will have sex with men for money, but im glad female trolls don’t have sex with Chris Chan to try and become famous. Even going on a fake date with Chris was a little harmful to a females soul it seems so sex would really be terrible for the female troll.

 

[Mason Verger]

I agree. Also, I think only a homosexual male would be foolish to have sex with Chris Chan and he would only do it for the sake of becoming famous online. I’m actually glad that females are not willing to have sex with Chris Chan for the sake of becoming online famous. Sockness was willing to actually have sexual relations with Chris Chan however Chris got scared and told him to turn around and not to come. However, with a female troll Chris would want to have sex with her.

females will have sex with men for money, but im glad female trolls don’t have sex with Chris Chan to try and become famous. Even going on a fake date with Chris was a little harmful to a females soul it seems so sex would really be terrible for the female troll.

Yeah, Sockness lives in the gay weirdo capital of the world. I’m sure if he’s just into unwashed tomgirl dick, he can find it a hell of a lot more easily in the mission district of San Fran than way the hell out in bumblefuck Virginia.

 

[Rupin]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

Geeze... you know her pride was hurt after that. God dam, imagine being actually cute and still getting turned down by Chris. That’s if that really was her, which with this current crop of kids I wouldn’t doubt it all.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

Geeze... you know her pride was hurt after that. God dam, imagine being actually cute and still getting turned down by Chris. That’s if that really was her, which with this current crop of kids I wouldn’t doubt it all.

I don't know. In her shoes I would be relieved. Look at her, she can get the D wherever she likes. Also, the nerve of Chris to assume she would want him! Damn!

 

[Rupin]

I don't know. In her shoes I would be relieved. Look at her, she can get the D wherever she likes. Also, the nerve of Chris to assume she would want him! Damn!

probably a weak trolling attempt and a way to get attention drawn to herself. I will say that Chris is smart for avoiding online relationships and adopting the policy of actually wanting to meet someone in real life first. That being said, it decreases his dating pool dramatically so that only the most strange and depraved weirdos will be available to him.

 

[Mason Verger]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

I don't know. In her shoes I would be relieved. Look at her, she can get the D wherever she likes. Also, the nerve of Chris to assume she would want him! Damn!

I don’t blame him for rejecting her, look at that half-assed cosplay!!! That’s a fucking stripped polo shirt, NOT a long sleeved rugby!

 

[jc17]

One of his fans said that when she started talking to him, he immediately told her he wasn't interested in a relationship because of his imaginary marriage. She wasn't trying to hit on him, but still. It's been almost two years since the polyamorous marriage was put in his head, and he hasn't tried to get into a relationship with the many female orbiters surrounding him.

... the only thing I'm taking from this is Chris' over inflated ego.
"Hey, it's nice to meet you. Christine!"
"Hmm...yeah, I know you most definitely want me so I should tell you this right now, I'm taken."
"... but, I wasn't even interested‐"
"Noooo... it's okay! Love is a complicated thing, and I'll tell ya I was turned down plenty ah times. You'll find who your looking for!"

Like how he thought he was the ultimate dream hunk a decade ago, now he thinks he's the women of everyone's desire. I mean, we all know what he thinks he looks like, so it's highly possible he's under the delusion EVERYONE sees him like that as well.
Along with that ego of his and his warped view of reality friendly comments sound like declarations of love.