Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Mola Ram]

Or the next season of Alone.

The funniest thing about "Bob Chipman, Survivorman" is that he's preening about needing nothing but a knife to master the howling wilderness, when he's already demonstrated he can't go twenty minutes without a Twitter connection.

Bob, waking up in Boston Common with a hangover does not count as "survival skills."

 

[cypocryphy]

If he were lost in the wilderness he'd have plenty of fat stored up to live off of though.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

I have a hard time believing this motherfucker has been to a public park, let alone the woods. Maybe he should pull his commentary back a little bit,

This motherfucker seems like he would get winded on a swingset and he doesnt even have any substance abuse issues.

He doesn't have substance abuse issues only because Twitter doesn't technically count as a "substance". Although I think being stranded in the woods alone without it for a week would do him a world of good. Would get rid of some of that fat too.

 

[Koby_Fish]

He doesn't have substance abuse issues only because Twitter doesn't technically count as a "substance". Although I think being stranded in the woods alone without it for a week would do him a world of good. Would get rid of some of that fat too.

unless a bear ate him first.

 

[Mola Ram]

unless a bear ate him first.

No self-respecting bear would eat something so greasy and bitter.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

unless a bear ate him first.

If he does it at this time of year the bears will still be hibernating. Don't worry about the cold, Bob, you have your insulating blubber. Hurry up and take your camping trip before the bears wake up!

 

[Mola Ram]

If he does it at this time of year the bears will still be hibernating. Don't worry about the cold, Bob, you have your insulating blubber. Hurry up and take your camping trip before the bears wake up!

Of course, if certain theories about Bob's social calendar are true, there are other kinds of "bears" he'd be glad to stumble across in his drunken wanderings.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

I can attest that it's very easy to get lost in the woods. I was walking in a wooded park I visit often and thought I'd leave the trail and cut across a stand of pines to what I thought would be another section of the trail. I got disoriented and it was a good half hour before I found my way out again. This was in an enclosed park where I knew I would safely bump into a fence sooner or later, as long as I kept walking. Imagine, though, if it had been a State Park or other open wooded area. I could've been walking for days. Bob is totally full of shit if he thinks he can just Bear Grylls his way though a forest. A lot of National Parks and wildlife preserves are so big, they don't have cell phone coverage, so if Bob finds himself getting lost in one, he isn't going to be able to tweet his way home.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

The next season of Survivor, if that thing is still going on, should feature an all-star lineup of internet loudmouths.

This is a little off topic and I might have talked about this before, but for awhile I have wondered what would happened if someone rounded up all the fatties on this site (Robert, Wings, Boogie, ALR, Chantal, excreta) and put them into a Battle Royale (or if you don't want guns Hunger Games) sort of battle to the death.

 

[Mola Ram]

This is a little off topic and I might have talked about this before, but for awhile I have wondered what would happened if someone rounded up all the fatties on this site (Robert, Wings, Boogie, ALR, Chantal, excreta) and put them into a Battle Royale (or if you don't want guns Hunger Games) sort of battle to the death.

First of all that ring better be triple-reinforced with steel and concrete.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

unless a bear ate him first.

Well, in Bob's defense, he would still have the last laugh as the bear would surely die of cholesterol poisoning.

 

[אΩ+1]

I'm not sure if seminary level theologian or Blazer Bear Grylls is the most outlandish.

The next season of Survivor, if that thing is still going on, should feature an all-star lineup of internet loudmouths.

I think "naked and afraid" would be better considering they would have nothing to start off with.

 

[Absolutego]

He hates the razzies for some reason

They probably nominated some big dumb Kaiju movie he worships for a few awards (most likely one of the last two American Godzilla movies), or one of the actresses he has a crush on won one and *gasp* took it in stride!

 

[Flexo]

That argument doesn't even make any sense. It's not impossible to have that skill set and know more about films. Ideally this hypothetical person be able to do all of that better too. No one ever forced him to make a choice between more in-depth film knowledge and practical video editing skills. You can have both, Bob.

Bob I have news:

That person exists.

GoodBadFlicks

Movies, games, and the occasional editorial. From A-Z list films, video games, and other assorted overlooked goodness. Schedule - Monday - 1 PM EST New Main ...

www.youtube.com

Bonus.

RedLetterMedia

Red Letter Media is responsible for the 70 minute Phantom Menace review as well as Space Cop, Half in the Bag, and Best of the Worst. Full time frauds.

www.youtube.com

Seriously, let's compare.

 

[אΩ+1]

Epcot sounds awful and 1 step away from a Xanadu house.

 

[Slowboat to China]

Oh, shit. Bob Grylls! This could be so good. Someone challenge him to show off his wilderness survival skills, please, to own the mayonnaise ghouls who don't realize that he's better at everything than them.

Side note: Marshy woodlands in mosquito season. Picking lone star ticks off someone who fell on a nest of them. We wouldn't have to wait for a bear to eat Bob; malaria or Lyme disease would do it first.

 

[Flexo]

Bob, you dumbass, THIS:



Does not count as a survival tool.

 

[Mr Snek]

Another stupid exchange form Robert and one of his trolls. Nothing much to see till you get to the bit that now Robert is also a survivalist:

View attachment 1102295

January isn't even over yet and we already have a contender for Bobs best moment of 2020. I'm genuinely curious as to where Bob got the idea that he's a survivalist from, did he watch shitty survival shows as a young teen or something? Or does he just assume that if the mayo ghouls can survive in the wilderness, then surely a superior human such as himself could as well?

 

[ditto]

Was I the only one who watched SeaQuest DSV?

Yes, waiting for Sliders to start.

 

[Positron]

Anything else I am missing?

Feminist. As a Feminist Bobby is in touch with Mother Nature, which gives him +2 Survival Skills.