Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I swear Bob is starting to give Brianna Wu a run for her money when it comes to dunning kruger.

Anyone want to take bets what he's basing his survivalist skills on? My guess his dad signed him up for boy scouts in an attempt to help him become less of a spaz and he's basing the one summer he spent a week camping with them as his advanced survival training.
 
He continues to ignore epstein and clinton
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Robert must hate himself everytime he sees his youtube stats
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Robert is opposite land pol pot
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IM JUST LIKE HIGHLANDER
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I guess the basement "apartment" doesnt have mirrors
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exceptional gun shit (btw Robert making dmt is easier thank making dew chicken)
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....of all the smoothbrained, paste-eating, crayon snorting, shortbus-riding....

...am i the only one head-desking because Film Blobbert has clearly confused Kevin Bacon with KEVIN SPACEY?! Like, c'mon, couldn't the exceptional blob remember that one Family Guy episode where Stewie claimed to have escaped from Kevin Spacey's basement? Or did the beetus rot his brain memories already?

As for the survival bragging, never mind taking his knife. He won't last a couple of DAYS if he didn't bring along enough metformin, glizaride, or whatever the fuck beetus pills he's been prescribed (and that's assuming he's not having to inject insulin daily). Because those things and insulin are easily available outdoors in the woods, right Film Blob?

I swear to gawd after the second night it would be "beetus coma, here we come..." and he dies in the woods of super low blood sugar.
 
....of all the smoothbrained, paste-eating, crayon snorting, shortbus-riding....

...am i the only one head-desking because Film Blobbert has clearly confused Kevin Bacon with KEVIN SPACEY?! Like, c'mon, couldn't the exceptional blob remember that one Family Guy episode where Stewie claimed to have escaped from Kevin Spacey's basement? Or did the beetus rot his brain memories already?

I think he’s going for the six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing here.

Apart from his terrible political and movie hot takes. Has Cinema Robert ever tweeted or retweeted anything substantial about space flight? Other than moon wheat...

It’s actually a really interesting time for space flight, with many new programs about to get off the ground. Yet Blob is oddly quiet for a supposed futurist.
 
Ya know, Bobo claiming he could survive in the wilderness reminde me of this one yuppie fuck, blinking on his name but he like went "eff society imma go to the wilds" and got himself a hippy minivan, only to die from eating some poisoned berries because he remembered em mentioned on jeopardy as being "edable".
 
Ya know, Bobo claiming he could survive in the wilderness reminde me of this one yuppie fuck, blinking on his name but he like went "eff society imma go to the wilds" and got himself a hippy minivan, only to die from eating some poisoned berries because he remembered em mentioned on jeopardy as being "edable".

I'm reminded of the story from our Everest thread about a Canadian trustie who decided to scale Mt. Everest whose "training" consisted of walking around Vancouver with a heavy backpack. She got personally acquainted with Charles Darwin, then God.
 
The uniforms for the "Space Force" have been revealed. One would think that Robert would love this, but since this was Trump's idea, Robert dislikes it.
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Robert continues to follow Naomi Wu for "fighting the good fight" and nothing else:
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False reporting about a Marvel movie being delayed? Obviously an anti-Marvel/ Disney conspiracy:
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The uniforms for the "Space Force" have been revealed. One would think that Robert would love this, but since this was Trump's idea, Robert dislikes it.
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Robert continues to follow Naomi Wu for "fighting the good fight" and nothing else:
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False reporting about a Marvel movie being delay? Obviously an anti-Marvel/ Disney conspiracy:
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Honestly the increasingly blatant drooling over Naomi Wu is kinda breaking my immersion in the Bob mythos

I mean....he fucking has to be putting on an act at this point.

He has gone out of his way to embody past the point of caricature literally EVERY negative stereotype and cliche about neckbeards from his morbidly obese thumb physique to his neo nazi/school shooter tier worldview on the "inferiors infesting HIS world and stealing what HE is entitled to" to the absurdly inflated opinion of his own importance to both society and human civilisation as a whole as one of the "elite of the superior future" to the "IMMA BADASS WHO HAS MASTERED THE ART OF THE GUN AND OF SURVIVAL but I totally have better things to do than beat you up IRL" horseshit to the fucking mountain dew brined chicken tendies to the literal fucking hawaiian shirts and mario costumes he wears in public, to the obsessive latching on woke bandwagons in order to whiteknight the m'ladies despite everyone on these bandwagons fucking despising him, and now he is openly masturbating over a "quirky asian cyberpunk waifu"?!

Im sorry but either this is a deliberate act at this point, or he is so blindingly autistic and delusional that he is conciously adopting these cliches as part of his "IM A FAMOUS NURD AND STUFF" brand, because it strains all credulity to think he just accidentally embodies of this shit.
 
I can understand how Bob feels. I too have handled machetes to chop some trees and butcher some meat. I don't know the first thing about hunting but my gut tells me that I have to look deep within and awaken my ancestral survival instincts and it will tell me what to do and I would just need to follow.

Bob would look deep within and his ancestral survival instincts will tell him he's too fat to survive.
 
I can attest that it's very easy to get lost in the woods.

Heck, people die in national parks all the time. Last time I went to one I carried water and an orienteering compass in case I lost the trail and my phone died so I couldn't use the compass app.

I'm not a survivalist wannabee and I'd never pose as one, but I do know how to use an orienteering compass. I wonder if anyone's ever put one into a walking simulator.
 
Heck, people die in national parks all the time. Last time I went to one I carried water and an orienteering compass in case I lost the trail and my phone died so I couldn't use the compass app.

I'm not a survivalist wannabee and I'd never pose as one, but I do know how to use an orienteering compass. I wonder if anyone's ever put one into a walking simulator.
If you count that ArmA games as a walking simulator that would count as a yes.
He probably also want a IP rated GPS
 
Ya know, Bobo claiming he could survive in the wilderness reminde me of this one yuppie fuck, blinking on his name but he like went "eff society imma go to the wilds" and got himself a hippy minivan, only to die from eating some poisoned berries because he remembered em mentioned on jeopardy as being "edable".

Sounds like you're talking about Chris McCandless, a disaffected youth who tried to live the Thoreau's Walden lifestyle, but wound up starving to death in an Alaskan bus when he was cut off from civilization by a swollen river. He died from a combination of malnutrition and poisonous wild potato seeds. For some reason, McCandless refused to take adequate preecautions and supplies for his hiking journey, even though at least one local in the area offered to buy them for him. McCandless was a troubled lad who deeply desired to live life a certain way, to the point where his ability to process reality was affected. He surely thought he could survive the bush with the meager supplies he had brought with him. The funny thing is, if he had bothered to invest in a topological map of the area he was planning to hike in, he would have noticed a hand-operated river tramway, not more than a mile away from the bus he was starving in. He could have crossed the river and gotten back to civillization. But again, his lack of ability to gauge his own skill and resource levels led to his doom. It's a sobering lesson on how important it is to put reality ahead of high-falutin' dreams of what life "innawoods" is supposed to be like.

Bob would do well to pay attention to this lesson, as he seems to have the same glitch in his brain when it comes to processing reality. The only advantage Bob has over McCandless is that his bulk might keep his body from starving long enough for help to come, should he ever get stuck in the wilderness somewhere...
 
Epcot sounds awful and 1 step away from a Xanadu house.
I always did like speculative fiction, but there's a reason it changes up so much every few years; it's because some predictions were wrong due to logistics or a lack of tech, and some technological ideas turned out to be even better than what was predicted.

Bobby is still clinging to that 1990's variation of the ride as a major component of his idea for the superior future, and the thing is like all speculative fiction of the future, some of it is now obsolete. Some of it still cannot be, and some of it is and can be done better (aeroponics, aquaponics).

But this IS the manchild who wanted video games to stay 8-bit, so why am I surprised he projects like an I-MAX on this shit.
January isn't even over yet and we already have a contender for Bobs best moment of 2020. I'm genuinely curious as to where Bob got the idea that he's a survivalist from, did he watch shitty survival shows as a young teen or something? Or does he just assume that if the mayo ghouls can survive in the wilderness, then surely a superior human such as himself could as well?
I think it's just him trying and horribly failing to flex for virgin with rage reasons. I think this and the weightlifting are his sad attempts to chad it up and try to get someone to fuck. But the thing is, look and listen to this guy. Ain't no one gonna wanna fuck that without getting a substantial paycheck first.
 
January isn't even over yet and we already have a contender for Bobs best moment of 2020. I'm genuinely curious as to where Bob got the idea that he's a survivalist from, did he watch shitty survival shows as a young teen or something? Or does he just assume that if the mayo ghouls can survive in the wilderness, then surely a superior human such as himself could as well?
I think it's just him trying and horribly failing to flex for virgin with rage reasons. I think this and the weightlifting are his sad attempts to chad it up and try to get someone to fuck. But the thing is, look and listen to this guy. Ain't no one gonna wanna fuck that without getting a substantial paycheck first.

That's part of the it. Another thing is that Bob can't help but have an opinion on literally every single fucking subject in existence.

You give him a topic, he'll tell you what he thinks because in his mind he's the fucking oracle of the human race.
 
Sounds like you're talking about Chris McCandless, a disaffected youth who tried to live the Thoreau's Walden lifestyle, but wound up starving to death in an Alaskan bus when he was cut off from civilization by a swollen river. He died from a combination of malnutrition and poisonous wild potato seeds. For some reason, McCandless refused to take adequate preecautions and supplies for his hiking journey, even though at least one local in the area offered to buy them for him. McCandless was a troubled lad who deeply desired to live life a certain way, to the point where his ability to process reality was affected. He surely thought he could survive the bush with the meager supplies he had brought with him. The funny thing is, if he had bothered to invest in a topological map of the area he was planning to hike in, he would have noticed a hand-operated river tramway, not more than a mile away from the bus he was starving in. He could have crossed the river and gotten back to civillization. But again, his lack of ability to gauge his own skill and resource levels led to his doom. It's a sobering lesson on how important it is to put reality ahead of high-falutin' dreams of what life "innawoods" is supposed to be like.

Bob would do well to pay attention to this lesson, as he seems to have the same glitch in his brain when it comes to processing reality. The only advantage Bob has over McCandless is that his bulk might keep his body from starving long enough for help to come, should he ever get stuck in the wilderness somewhere...

McCandless's story has been romanticized (most notably and vomit-inducingly by the Sean Penn helmed Into the Wild, where he's presented almost as some sort of benevolent spirit who elevates every life he touches until he nobly dies off in the wilderness), but there's some pretty compelling evidence he wasn't playing with a full deck and may even have intended to commit suicide. There's also the Alaskan locals who spit on his name for his idiocy and having wasted the carcass of a moose he shot because he had no idea how to dress or preserve it.
 
That's part of the it. Another thing is that Bob can't help but have an opinion on literally every single fucking subject in existence.

You give him a topic, he'll tell you what he thinks because in his mind he's the fucking oracle of the human race.
This. This is why I consider him one of the worst lolcow and cannot stand the man. The only time he ever practices humility and when it hits the progressive stack. Then he's all "whoa I have no idea what it's like to be trans."

A just punishment for Bob would be to have an expert in every topic he's opined on give him a good beating.
 
That argument doesn't even make any sense. It's not impossible to have that skill set and know more about films. Ideally this hypothetical person be able to do all of that better too. No one ever forced him to make a choice between more in-depth film knowledge and practical video editing skills. You can have both, Bob.
Well, you can if you aren’t a small-minded troglodyte like Robert, anyway.
 
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