Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[nad7155]

I was quoted by the Great Timothy Church!

I can now say "fuck you" to anything I wanted to do in the future.

My life is complete.

 

[CatParty]

I've never been an attention whore, a faggot of any kind,

Tj hates gay people! Tell everyone!

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

Honesttly tj users here are not supposed to be going to other forums to chase you across the internet, it's against the rules but there isn't much we can do about it.

So we already agree to your terms but we can't control the whole internet. I encourage you to stay away from kiwi farms for awhile, guys like ebon lupus are nearly forgotten after a few years. other people will forget about you.....But not me ​

 

[Chuggernaut]

2] I was going to stay off of this site until the thread disappeared just like the majority of your intelligence. However, I have decided that the majority of human beings should not suffer due to the issues & actions of a minority. Therefore, since I have been left this as my only way to contact anyone on the forums, I am using this post to suggest a deal:

In the future, I will blog on the sites where I have previously done so, & never appear here again, In return, anyone can post anything they want about me on these forums, but this "site" ceases to exist effective immediately, & none of you make any posts, comments, or any such thing on any of the sites it contains links to.

I don't think you understand bargaining. If you want to make demands of people, you need to have something we want or something you can use to harm them if they do not comply. Your "deal" is you suggesting that we continue doing something that we are going to do regardless of what you say and in exchange you will get things you want. That is not how that works.

Here's an example of a functional bargain. I have some food, and you have some water. I offer you some food in exchange for some of your water. Both of us have things the other want.

Here's an example of a non-functional bargain. I have food and water, you have the knowledge of where the bathroom is in my house. You demand that I give you some food and water and you will "let" me use the bathroom that I already use and you cannot stop me from using.

Which one of these are you doing?

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

5] I've never been an attention whore, a faggot of any kind, or a dope. However, the majority of you have proven to be the latter. Proof of this includes the fact you continue to contact me, watch (& discuss) my actions on other sites, contact me via other sites,... Which is not to forget the beginning & continuation of this thread regardless of me even having access to a computer at all.

TJ must have a toothache and that's why he's so cranky right now.

 

[nad7155]

@Cowlick Why do you come keep coming back?

Explain it to me like I am a 4 year old, and without all the linguistic gymnastics.

I know I am not as smart as you.

Have pity on me.

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

2] I was going to stay off of this site until the thread disappeared just like the majority of your intelligence. However, I have decided that the majority of human beings should not suffer due to the issues & actions of a minority. Therefore, since I have been left this as my only way to contact anyone on the forums, I am using this post to suggest a deal:

In the future, I will blog on the sites where I have previously done so, & never appear here again, In return, anyone can post anything they want about me on these forums, but this "site" ceases to exist effective immediately, & none of you make any posts, comments, or any such thing on any of the sites it contains links to.

 

[Conrix]

5] I've never been an attention whore, a faggot of any kind, or a dope. However, the majority of you have proven to be the latter. Proof of this includes the fact you continue to contact me, watch (& discuss) my actions on other sites, contact me via other sites,... Which is not to forget the beginning & continuation of this thread regardless of me even having access to a computer at all.

You first replied to this thread after it's been inactive for two months, you repeatedly reply and insist that you're not an attention whore. Also bloviating doesn't make you intelligent, being clear, objective, and logical while...not...contradicting yourself until you land on your head would probably make you look smarter. We're not outright harassing you to draw you back to Kiwi Farms, you're pretty much bending over and letting us shove our collective dick in your ass, then crying rape because it gives you attention.

 

[Red_Rager]

Hey guys, I think I found @Cowlick's common sense

 

[TM Ambrose]

In the future, I will blog on the sites where I have previously done so, & never appear here again, In return, anyone can post anything they want about me on these forums, but this "site" ceases to exist effective immediately, & none of you make any posts, comments, or any such thing on any of the sites it contains links to.

We've already established you don't get negotiation, so I"m going to guess the answer is no. I don't care if you stay or if you go as long as you're creating content. If you didn't notice this threads activity died down when you left, but you just came back and made it way more active. Anyways, we're going to do what we want and you can bitch about it all you want. Your deal is basically the same thing you've been demanding throughout most of this thread: Delete stuff about me or i'll whine about it. Most of us find it hilarious that you whine about it so we don't delete stuff.

Also TJ refers to himself as a majority.... For some reason. I'm really starting to believe Cowlick has headmates that are all himself. He always refers to himself as multiple people but I think that has to do with his overblown ego more than anything.

 

[Fwiffo]

1] I don't detest anything on the sites except for liars, of which "deduct" is one. Also, "D" is not talking about a pathological liar, but being one. It is a mix of their stupidity & obviously their lying that make them claim otherwise. (The latter is also the reason for their claims of me being a pathological liar.)

2] I was going to stay off of this site until the thread disappeared just like the majority of your intelligence. However, I have decided that the majority of human beings should not suffer due to the issues & actions of a minority. Therefore, since I have been left this as my only way to contact anyone on the forums, I am using this post to suggest a deal:

In the future, I will blog on the sites where I have previously done so, & never appear here again, In return, anyone can post anything they want about me on these forums, but this "site" ceases to exist effective immediately, & none of you make any posts, comments, or any such thing on any of the sites it contains links to.

Why? What's in it for us?

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Tj hates gay people! Tell everyone!

He's really not going to like my gay TjchurchxTjchurch fanfic: hydrocephalics in love.

Tjchurch stared into the other's eyes. He had never met another person like himself let alone one who looked like him. He was intrigued & horny.

Tjchurch felt an instant bond with this other tjchurch. As they studied each other, tjchurch suddenly went in for a kiss. Tjchurch did not resist this advance. As tjchurch's nimble tongue brushed against tjchurch's yellow, chiclet-like teeth, he knew it was true love.

Tjchurch leaned and whispered into tjchurch's ear "I'll never let you go my precious waterbaby."

End Chapter 1

 

[namazuros]

1] I don't detest anything on the sites except for liars, of which "deduct" is one. Also, "D" is not talking about a pathological liar, but being one. It is a mix of their stupidity & obviously their lying that make them claim otherwise. (The latter is also the reason for their claims of me being a pathological liar.)

2] I was going to stay off of this site until the thread disappeared just like the majority of your intelligence. However, I have decided that the majority of human beings should not suffer due to the issues & actions of a minority. Therefore, since I have been left this as my only way to contact anyone on the forums, I am using this post to suggest a deal:

In the future, I will blog on the sites where I have previously done so, & never appear here again, In return, anyone can post anything they want about me on these forums, but this "site" ceases to exist effective immediately, & none of you make any posts, comments, or any such thing on any of the sites it contains links to.

Hey TJ, remember when you said this:

1]In addition, I would gladly agree to your contest, outside of the fact I doubt many writers would choose their own best work rather than give the reading public that ability, & regardless, any members here already have an obvious bias (again, the only reason I ever came here), so one can easily predict their decision before either of us submits anything.

If you don't remember, I don't blame you. It was shortly before you promised to never reply to the thread again.

Are you still up for that writing contest? I mean, you seemed up for it before...

 

[Cowlick]

1] Troy, if everyone has a Top 5 MC's, why don't you explain to me what that means in the context you used it: My Cow is? My Car is? Or is it just that you used an apostrophe incorrectly? There's the oft-requested proof I am more intelligent than you.

2] I have also proven to be smarter than Chuck, who makes a prediction as to what "other people" will do as it relates to me, which implies CS could rightfully be considered one of them in any group of "people", which is flat-out false.

3] Chug, which am I doing? Neither. I am referring to a situation which none of you would be able to do (in this specific thread, about me specifically) if it wasn't for me, & you would be able to continue to do it after being given every reason to stop & never having a reason to begin. The other part is I would never post in any threads on this site, or any place else about any of you, again, & you would all likewise remain blocked as though by a restraining order from my blogs, Twitter account, "Presidential page", & the like. That is an equal agreement, not any type of "bargaining".

4] Ambrose, I am also not referring to myself as a majority. I am referring to myself as part of a majority: The ones that dislike the majority of members here, know themselves to be smarter than the same group of members, etc.

The fact that the majority of people have negative (if any) thoughts & opinions about most of you, & are smarter than most of you, along with the fact that those statements are true & I can safely make them on behalf of the majority of which I am certainly a part, is not the same as myself thinking/referring to myself as a majority, nor does it speak to my possessing any ego of an exorbitant/undue size.

5] Nad, why do I keep coming back? Simple. I have been told in this thread, on my profile, & other places that this thread may fall further back in the section, but will never fully cease to exist (as it rightfully should have long before now) whether I return or not. I have also been told the same places many times by many members they consider me a friend &/or like having me around. So I come back as any appreciated, invited guest would.

6] Nama, am I up for a writing contest? Perhaps. But first, are we writing new things or do you want some of my already-completed work? Secondly, to quote Wing, what's in it for me? (For instance, I would certainly be interested if my victory resulted in removal of this thread & the related page.)

 

[Trombonista]

We've reached 293 pages and TJ still thinks he can take it all down NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.

On another note, I don't quite have my top five ready, but I'm pretty sure it includes Twista.

 

[namazuros]

6] Nama, am I up for a writing contest? Perhaps. But first, are we writing new things or do you want some of my already-completed work? Secondly, to quote Wing, what's in it for me? (For instance, I would certainly be interested if my victory resulted in removal of this thread & the related page.)

Well, as I said earlier, I'm game for whatever. If you don't want to write something new, you can release something you've already written or are working on. You can also pick the subject matter of the contest. There's actually a great post you can read for how this could be handled:

If you and TJ Church would rather keep it among Kiwi Farms (strongly recommended, LitErotica is not nice unless you appeal to a small group of specific fetishes per genre), you can both run them through another user of your choosing. This user will post both of them to this topic or create another topic and let the kiwis vote there. And to work for TJ Church, I'll add in six conditions, most of which heavily favor him:

1.) As stated, each story's author will be kept anonymous until the close of the voting. This ensures the kiwis cannot bring bias into this unless one you is so poor at language arts that it would take no time whatsoever for them to identify who wrote which piece.

2.) The identity of the author must be proven with a screenshot of the conversation post containing the story. This ensures the host cannot rig the outcome to ensure a specific user loses.

3.) The person who posts the stories cannot vote themselves. This ensures it cannot communicate the answer to anyone with how it votes.

4.) As an extension of the above point, Null will disable this user's ability to converse with players for the duration of the contest. This ensures they can receive the posts while preventing them from telling the answers where no one can see it.

5.) Null, namazuros, the host, or any combination thereof violating of any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for TJ Church.

6.) TJ Church violating any of these conditions results in an automatic victory for namazuros.

Suitable?

However, I will point out that TJ Church's unwillingness to present terms that would nullify his concerns is suspicious. Someone who genuinely believes it would be praised if not for the bias against it would work to generate a situation where this bias could not be used against it. The fact that he went for a flat refusal with this as the reason and suggested nothing to circumvent this reasoning would suggest this is a mere excuse, that he believes he wouldn't win even if it were a level playing field. On top of that, as I pointed out before, TJ Church has a tendency to change the rules and renege after things get underway. I strongly recommend against this course of action, but I won't stop your pursuit if you keep pressing on.

Does this sound fair enough? If not, what would you choose to change?

As for what you win...hmmm, I could buy you a game on steam, or order you an e-book? Plus you would have my respect. I'm in no position to remove the thread.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

I love how Teej thinks we're all so dumb that he must, in response, do something dumber. Note how he repeatedly links directly to his Lolcow Wiki page every time he mentions it, which actually makes it easier for people new to this thread to go and read it. If he merely said "and the related page," not only would that be a blissful bit of normalcy in abandoning the ampersand, but it would lack the link that takes a visitor straight to the page he doesn't want them to see! It's like OPL's "ignore all Google results," but even less sensible. I didn't think that was possible. Congratulations.

I do hate to see a disabled person being ableist, though, and it grinds my teeth down to tiny nubs every time he thinks that using an apostrophe (a difficult punctuation mark to master) incorrectly is a sign of lower intelligence. That's not how intelligence works. That would be like my quoting Ezra Pound, his mistaking the quotation for T.S. Eliot, and my crowing triumphantly about what an idiot he was to make that mistake. It's simply what information and skills are stored in the brain, not the ability of said brain to process information. A dear friend of mine is dyslexic, and sometimes uses apostrophes incorrectly. He is not, however, less intelligent because he has a learning disability that requires him to use predictive text on his phone. He is, in fact, a doctor -- an occupation considerably more "intelligent" than "spelling-bee winner," as one must not only memorize vast amounts of information that include sensory and tactile data (how to stitch human tissue, for example, or feel a lump), but one must deploy the precisely correct bits of four years of pre-med, then internship, then residency in order to perform an operation or save a life in an emergency. Before my dyslexic friend was a doctor, he was a nuclear physicist, but decided he really wanted to be taking care of people and saving lives. And because this man is dyslexic, and sometimes goofs up apostrophes, he is less intelligent than Teej? Fucking please.

I am old enough to remember the battle between Roxanne Shanté and The Real Roxanne. Therefore, my top five will always include Chuck D. Ah, the passage of time.

 

[Cowlick]

1] Trombon, get it right. (This mistake has been made before.) I never promised it will be taken down now, this week, month, or even year. I only said it will be done, & it will.

2] Nama, read that post before. However, the poster was biased against me to start with... In fact, like many members here, enough so to argue with me & attack me elsewhere, & then join a group doing so someplace else. (There has yet to be a group going against me that has beaten me or rivaled my intelligence level.) Also, if I were to agree to such a thing, I don't care if you have that ability or not, as you would be representing the group, & the competition is never to happen if my victory does not enable me to gain that or something else I actually want.

3] NGH, your comparison is incorrect, as is your definition of what something (unclear what) "is". Misuse of punctuation in that way is a sign of lower intelligence. (I am not the first or only member to post that in this thread.)... Not vastly-lower as your "friend" (factual or fictional) shows, but still lower as I know.

 

[Bound2]

Sounds like TJ Church is chicken.

 

[Chuggernaut]

3] Chug, which am I doing? Neither. I am referring to a situation which none of you would be able to do (in this specific thread, about me specifically) if it wasn't for me, & you would be able to continue to do it after being given every reason to stop & never having a reason to begin. The other part is I would never post in any threads on this site, or any place else about any of you, again, & you would all likewise remain blocked as though by a restraining order from my blogs, Twitter account, "Presidential page", & the like. That is an equal agreement, not any type of "bargaining".

Teej, it's not an equal agreement, because you have nothing to compel us with to give you what you want. That's what you're not comprehending. The things you are offering us are:

1. That you won't post here anymore
2. That you won't post about any of us.

Nobody cares if you post about us, and you saying you'll leave doesn't mean anything because you've said you're doing it so many times in the past and come back. What you are trying to do is not bargaining, it's begging, because you are not on equal footing with us in terms of negotiating position. You would be negotiating with us on even standing if you had something people here wanted, but you do not.

All you're doing is chimping out about people saying things you have actually done. Do you think you're going into politics with skin this thin? The first thing they'll do is go back and track down everything about you, including all of your posts on CHYOO. How are you going to deal with it when your debate opponent asks you about all the incest fiction you write and what that says about you as a person? What about when they ask you how you can deny having diabetes when you've been hospitalized for diabetic complications? These are all things you'll have to face if you want to run for office.