Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[NobleGreyHorse]

See, now, Teejy, you're just using extremely vague punctuation to imply two things. Your "scare quotes" in the last line indicate a disbelief that a dyslexic former nuclear physicist, now medical doctor exists, and that, if he exists, he may or may not be my friend. That's definitely a politician's instinct there, Teej, and the problem is it's not a good look for you. (I mean, neither is your insistence on absolute intellectual superiority over 4000-something regular users. If you understood statistics as well as your alleged great brain thinks you do, you would know that the probability of that being true is extremely low.)

Chuggernaut has some excellent points about political campaigning. If you were as smart as you say you are, you would listen to what he has to say on that subject.

 

[Kitlen]

2] Nama, read that post before. However, the poster was biased against me to start with... In fact, like many members here, enough so to argue with me & attack me elsewhere, & then join a group doing so someplace else. (There has yet to be a group going against me that has beaten me or rivaled my intelligence level.) Also, if I were to agree to such a thing, I don't care if you have that ability or not, as you would be representing the group, & the competition is never to happen if my victory does not enable me to gain that or something else I actually want.

Hold the fucking phone, Teej. I told you "Read what you wrote" before and you got pissed and said not to command you. Now here you are commanding others, you are a fucking idiot and hypocrite.

 

[TM Ambrose]

4] Ambrose, I am also not referring to myself as a majority. I am referring to myself as part of a majority: The ones that dislike the majority of members here, know themselves to be smarter than the same group of members, etc.

The fact that the majority of people have negative (if any) thoughts & opinions about most of you, & are smarter than most of you, along with the fact that those statements are true & I can safely make them on behalf of the majority of which I am certainly a part, is not the same as myself thinking/referring to myself as a majority, nor does it speak to my possessing any ego of an exorbitant/undue size.

Hey TJ, I think your ego is talking again. If you haven't picked up on the hint I'll spell it out for you: Nobody on this site thinks you're smart. Only two people on any site you frequent currently will defend you. You are not the majority. You are very much a minority.

I can also prove you're not a majority. Let me do a poll of literally everyone on if they like hydro-cephalic diabetes denying 30 year olds who live with their mom and bitch on the internet about how they can't write incest porn because somebody doesn't like how they write, then demanding that they let it be admitted because they're good at spelling and also has a habit of making homophobic comments.... Alright poll is done. Resounding no. Nobody likes you or agrees with you TJ. Also if you question the validity of this poll it's grounded in about as much reality as any of your post. I'm expecting you to make a comment about this so I'm preemptively adding hyperbole to the list of things you don't understand.

Once again I must ask: Are you fucking retarded?

 

[ChuckSlaughter]

I have also proven to be smarter than Chuck, who makes a prediction as to what "other people" will do as it relates to me, which implies CS could rightfully be considered one of them in any group of "people", which is flat-out false.

Sure TJ, go find some old Encyclopedia Dramatica "Articles of the Now" and look at last time some of them were updated, do you even remember these fuckers? A few years ago these were supposedly the most interesting people on the internet to talk shit about. Now only a short time later all the links on their articles are dead nobody has updated or viewed their articles in ages... even big articles that someone deemed worth hours of their lives now sit forgotten. Unless you just produce a nonstop stream of insane content like CWC... you're nowhere near that but you're on here making yourself harder to forget.


I don't think you even have an article on ED just one on the much less popular lolcow wiki and some tumblr page I haven't even seen. I like you being here I get a kick out of you. I'm sorry that people are messing with you but you've made a stink on so many forums and just didn't know when to stop I can't say I'm surprised.

Nope, I wish the best for you Teej but if you won't do the smart thing I'm not going to refrain from laughing at you.

 

[Chuggernaut]

Hey TJ, I think your ego is talking again. If you haven't picked up on the hint I'll spell it out for you: Nobody on this site thinks you're smart. Only two people on any site you frequent currently will defend you. You are not the majority. You are very much a minority.

Once again I must ask: Are you fucking retarded?

Does hydrocephalus still count as a form of mental retardation? It did for a long time.

 

[Fwiffo]

1] Troy, if everyone has a Top 5 MC's, why don't you explain to me what that means in the context you used it: My Cow is? My Car is? Or is it just that you used an apostrophe incorrectly? There's the oft-requested proof I am more intelligent than you.

2] I have also proven to be smarter than Chuck, who makes a prediction as to what "other people" will do as it relates to me, which implies CS could rightfully be considered one of them in any group of "people", which is flat-out false.

3] Chug, which am I doing? Neither. I am referring to a situation which none of you would be able to do (in this specific thread, about me specifically) if it wasn't for me, & you would be able to continue to do it after being given every reason to stop & never having a reason to begin. The other part is I would never post in any threads on this site, or any place else about any of you, again, & you would all likewise remain blocked as though by a restraining order from my blogs, Twitter account, "Presidential page", & the like. That is an equal agreement, not any type of "bargaining".

4] Ambrose, I am also not referring to myself as a majority. I am referring to myself as part of a majority: The ones that dislike the majority of members here, know themselves to be smarter than the same group of members, etc.

The fact that the majority of people have negative (if any) thoughts & opinions about most of you, & are smarter than most of you, along with the fact that those statements are true & I can safely make them on behalf of the majority of which I am certainly a part, is not the same as myself thinking/referring to myself as a majority, nor does it speak to my possessing any ego of an exorbitant/undue size.

5] Nad, why do I keep coming back? Simple. I have been told in this thread, on my profile, & other places that this thread may fall further back in the section, but will never fully cease to exist (as it rightfully should have long before now) whether I return or not. I have also been told the same places many times by many members they consider me a friend &/or like having me around. So I come back as any appreciated, invited guest would.

6] Nama, am I up for a writing contest? Perhaps. But first, are we writing new things or do you want some of my already-completed work? Secondly, to quote Wing, what's in it for me? (For instance, I would certainly be interested if my victory resulted in removal of this thread & the related page.)

Yes, dance. Dance for me, you silly puppet. Caper for my amusement like a fool for his king.

 

[KingGeedorah]

Aww TJ missed his friends while he was away with his tooth ache.

Hi TJ, how you feeling bud? Ketoacidosis ripping your insides up yet? Got all your toes still? Glad to hear it.

 

[namazuros]

2] Nama, read that post before. However, the poster was biased against me to start with... In fact, like many members here, enough so to argue with me & attack me elsewhere, & then join a group doing so someplace else. (There has yet to be a group going against me that has beaten me or rivaled my intelligence level.) Also, if I were to agree to such a thing, I don't care if you have that ability or not, as you would be representing the group, & the competition is never to happen if my victory does not enable me to gain that or something else I actually want.

If I'm understanding this correctly, you're saying you don't want to participate in this writing contest unless your victory would ensure this thread was deleted.

Why would you think I have that kind of power? I'm some random mook. This isn't some hivemind cabal, I just wanted to have a writing contest with you because I was tired of you telling everyone how inferior they were to you. I even offered you something nice should you participate, in a contest that was indeed biased towards you. If you're worried about your writing talents holding up in a contest, though, I completely understand. I expected to encounter some fright at being called out.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

1] Troy, if everyone has a Top 5 MC's, why don't you explain to me what that means in the context you used it: My Cow is? My Car is? Or is it just that you used an apostrophe incorrectly? There's the oft-requested proof I am more intelligent than you.

MC's stands for master of ceremonies. Here is a fairly informative link if you still need help.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_of_ceremonies#In_hip_hop_culture

For someone so smart you sure don't know a lot of stuff.

 

[Chuggernaut]

MC's stands for master of ceremonies. Here is a fairly informative link if you still need help.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_of_ceremonies#In_hip_hop_culture

For someone so smart you sure don't know a lot of stuff.

Two words: social isolation.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

Tj hates gay people! Tell everyone!

Actually this is a very good point that @Cowlick hasn't really addressed. Several times TJ has used homosexuality as an insult and implied that being one is a negative. This kind of thinking is not only harmful but shows a lack of intelligence. So @Cowlick, why so homophobic? Do you have an actual reason or is it a childish "gays are icky" mentality? Given both are wack as fuck but I am curious about this irrational beef you have.

Still waiting for your top five.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

Does hydrocephalus still count as a form of mental retardation? It did for a long time.

No. That was pretty bullshit, anyway; back in the day, judgments about whether medical issues were inevitably associated with cognitive disability were often self-fulfilling, as children with those issues were judged to be "ineducable" and simply not educated (and often dumped in institutions).

In any case, Mr. Church seems to have adequately functioning cognitive skills; it's his attitude that's jacked all to hell.

As for the question of using apostrophes to form plurals of initialisms, that's not an error so much as it is a style choice I don't like.* I have worked for publications and publishers where "MC's" would have been correct house style. (I also hate "1990's" rather than "1990s", but sometimes you have to do what your employers tell you rather than what you would prefer, a dilemma of which Mr. Church has no personal experience.)

I have an actual 45 of "Roxanne's Revenge", so that's how old I am. So, Chuck D, Queen Latifah, KRS-One, Common, and Missy Elliot.

* Obviously, Mr. Church will pay no attention to the authority of the New York Times style sheet, but for others who might be interested, there's an informative discussion here.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

No. Mr. Church seems to have adequately functioning cognitive skills; it's his attitude that's jacked all to hell.

As for the question of using apostrophes to form plurals of initialisms, that's not an error so much as it is a style choice I don't like.* I have worked for publications and publishers where "MC's" would have been correct house style. (I also hate "1990's" rather than "1990s", but sometimes you have to do what your employers tell you rather than what you would prefer, a dilemma of which Mr. Church has no personal experience.)

I have an actual 45 of "Roxanne's Revenge", so that's how old I am. So, Chuck D, Queen Latifah, KRS-One, Common, and Missy Elliot.

* Obviously, Mr. Church will pay no attention to the authority of the New York Times style sheet, but for others who might be interested, there's an informative discussion here.

1- Okay having a 45 of Roxanne's Revenge is dope as fuck.
2- Pretty good top five. Nobody on mine but just as great.

 

[HipstrsGonnaHip]

I only said it will be done, & it will.

What leverage will you utilize to get this thread and your wiki page taken down?

 

[Have a Pepsi]

1] Troy, if everyone has a Top 5 MC's, why don't you explain to me what that means in the context you used it: My Cow is? My Car is? Or is it just that you used an apostrophe incorrectly? There's the oft-requested proof I am more intelligent than you.

Er, no... No, see, in English, you use an apostrophe "s" to indicate the plural form of an abbreviation. "MCs" does not indicate more than one MC, it indicates an MCs. "MC's" indicates more than one MC. Are you sure you're proficient in English? Or proficient at anything at all, for that matter?

 

[deductionotaku]

If I'm understanding this correctly, you're saying you don't want to participate in this writing contest unless your victory would ensure this thread was deleted.

If he won't enter without a wager of some kind, then I'll allow you to put up something of mine. TJ Church, I personally have the authority to grant you any of the following:

1.) The relative safety of your CHYOO forum posts. I say "relative" because Manu and Laurel still have authority over those forums and can supersede my actions, but they usually only show upon PM request now that I've been made moderator. Regardless, I assure that I personally will not delete them; the most you'd get under normal circumstances is a merger of multi-postings, but otherwise you'd be in the clear unless you're dumb enough to PM them about the situation. That said, you'd remain subject to LitErotica forum rules, and I would have to delete threats, personal information of other users, and any of the remaining specified problems; up until now, I've been ruling based on a more modern set of rules, laws, and your claim that lies are spam.

2.) The deletion of the negative threads from the CHYOO forums. With CHYOO's dissolution, the threads are unnecessary. I can do nothing about archives, but the forum would be cleared of the threads you find objectionable. This includes The Reasons for the Many Banishments of TJChurch, Usernames to Beware, and TJChurch.

3.) The secret to getting honest editorial efforts for your CHYOO threads.

4.) A huge secret of the LitErotica user hell_kaiserV2.

The last two remain void of descriptions for the simple fact that they are secrets and giving any details would nullify my ability to bargain. I can't offer readmission to CHYOA since that's Friedman's decision.

TJ Church, you may select only one of the above, and you must offer us something of your own in the event of your loss. I'm open to the following exchanges:

1.) You cease posting on the CHYOO forums completely. The rest of LitErotica I have no authority over, so consider it your playground. The CHYOO forums, on the other hand, would be off limits. Forever. This option is available against above options 1 and 2.

2.) You stop posting threads to CHYOO. Forever. This option is available against above options 3 and 4.

I'll allow other prospects from you, but they will have to be approved by me or a party I deem worthy. However, the above four are all I can offer in the event you win. We'll have nothing to keep you from reneging on this as you did the last contest, but such actions would only help the topic towards 500 pages and could make for a nice addition to the wiki article. I had considered posting a dox of you in this event, but I suppose you'd just move to a different address as you did after the prior incident (your words), making the action moot.

Is this situation agreeable?

 

[DrChristianTroy]

TJ puts in so much effort just to avoid admitting his top five is Macklemore levels of wack.

 

[Trombonista]

1] Trombon, get it right. (This mistake has been made before.) I never promised it will be taken down now, this week, month, or even year. I only said it will be done, & it will.

First of all, my username isn't that long; you don't need to drop the last four letters.

Secondly, I was referencing this video, which you'd know if you actually paid attention to parts of the forum other than your own thread. Believe it or not, the Kiwi Farms are not all about you.

 

[ON 190]

I never promised it will be taken down now, this week, month, or even year. I only said it will be done, & it will.

Entropy gets us all in the end, but I have a very strong feeling this thread will outlive you.

 

[TM Ambrose]

In any case, Mr. Church seems to have adequately functioning cognitive skills; it's his attitude that's jacked all to hell.

Well yes, my actual question wasn't really phrased to say exactly what it meant. The actual implications of the question were more along the lines of "Do you mean to make yourself come off as mentally disabled?". TJ has a problem where if his stupidity is called he'll try to find a way to be technically right even if it's not what the sentence originally meant. Like when I said that he makes sockpuppets. He said he doesn't make toys to entertain children even though what I actually meant was he makes multiple accounts to circumvent punishment. TJ has a way of making himself seem less intelligent than he actually is. So far it's impossible to tell if he has even a normal level of intelligence just because the way he tries to argue typically avoids any actual reasoning.