Infected Brian "Pleasureman" Uecker's My Posting Career & Ashley Hutsell Jankowski - racist nerd hating Something Awful spin-off forum (feat. Insane Fat Catlady Stalker Chimping Out)

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

I never idolized him you idiot fat whore.

Ok so you didn't idolize him but did you, in fact, suck his dick?

 

[forums poster wow]

See it's funny because the world won't stop changing around you

That's why SomethingAwful is obsolete and irrelevant right now today. The site owner's personal life meltdowns are the only reason anyone's even thought of it in the last 10 years. A big mistake Somethingawful made was in catering to political correctness because as you said, the world changed and many large corporate backed platforms such as twitter, tumblr and especially reddit rose and cornered that market leaving SA with really only the rejects and dregs of the e-grifter/hon tranny communities. Being originally a comedy website put SA in an even more awkward position because its new audience is humorless. Independent comedy websites (or let's not joke, political websites, sa is not comedy anymore but the following still applies) tend to do a lot better catering to edgy humor because there are minimal to no corporate competitors. That's why sites that cater to it, despite sometimes running on outdated platforms like forums or imageboards, bring in so much more traffic and bear so much more cultural relevancy than SA, which is only remembered by its former users who have moved on.

"the young folk"

millenials aren't "young folk" there are no young or "hip" people on SA. SA's current audience is sterilized corporate FAANG employees and men starting hrt in their late 20s to early 30s.

 

[TravelPussy]

Whenever anyone talks about Something Awful - they're referring to the past. Doom House, "your poison womb is making heaven too crowded", zyborne clock, photoshop friday...

I miss photoshop Friday. Scary Ugly Guy.

Who here under 40 years old

That's it, cash me outside!

Nobody can win against this middle aged goon if they don't know the specifics of his mental problems, social problems or know why he has 24 hours a day to post on a remote stalking forum lol

Seriously, you're making us shit posters look bad. If this was SA, you'd already be in the Lepers Colony.

 

[???]

These are really good questions, and since FatAsh is about as easy to figure out as the kids' puzzles on a McDonald's Happy Meal, I'll go ahead and answer for xir:

1 + 2: Ashley always wanted to be pretty, slender, smart and popular. Unfortunately due to a series of unfortunate events (poor genetics, garbage family upbringing, even poorer lifestyle choices) she scored exactly 0/4 on that count. Sad, but millions of people have had similar aspirations and struck out. The key difference is that most don't let their failures in life turn them into self-hating, bitter, morbidly obese freaks that spend their post-midnight hours obsessively stalking niche forums and desperately trying to get attention.

3: None whatsoever. Aside from being the disgustingly ugly fat chick, Ash's toxic personality managed to alienate all but the most merciful of local frens. And even the kindest soul would find other things to do (like, say, learning how to empty a septic tank) rather than spend a single afternoon with her.

4. Eating at the local food court. Alone, of course.

5. Harry Potter, Das Kapital (never read, but sits on a plywood bookshelf hoping to impress hovel guests), Rules for Radicals (she made it to #3), somethingsomething

I assume you are Ashley's appointed legal guardian and wrangler to know such things. Very sad for her!

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

The only trans people I've ever met irl are nothing remotely like SA troons,

lmao

This thread was never about trans goons, it's about Lowtax and his fucking whore.

More posts as evidence nerds who got on the internet at the tail end of the 1990s when they were angry, marginalized teen computer geeks turned out to be probably the worst humans in existence in a way that transcends generations and will never change. The same aging fat idiot goons using gendered slurs and calling each other faggot until they get cremated at an unattended funeral 20 years down the line

 

[forums poster wow]

More posts as evidence nerds who got on the internet at the tail end of the 1990s when they were angry, marginalized teen computer geeks turned out to be probably the worst humans in existence in a way that transcends generations and will never change. The same aging fat idiot goons using gendered slurs and calling each other faggot until they get cremated at an unattended funeral 20 years down the line

faggot

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

lol, and how old are you based on heart age you tremendous fatass?

look at this guy's avatar lmao. have you ever tried to talk to people irl about the jews my man? how did that go? also which group of jews is being represented in your avatar. just curious.

 

[Ilmseil]

Not that interested in the other thread past the first page or so I read, but lmao goddamn what a train wreck

More posts as evidence nerds who got on the internet at the tail end of the 1990s when they were angry, marginalized teen computer geeks turned out to be probably the worst humans in existence in a way that transcends generations and will never change. The same aging fat idiot goons using gendered slurs and calling each other faggot until they get cremated at an unattended funeral 20 years down the line

Your cremation (likely within 10 years) will burn for at least 400% the time it normally takes to cremate a corpse.

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

Not that interested in the other thread past the first page or so I read, but lmao goddamn what a train wreck

Your cremation (likely within 10 years) will burn for at least 400% the time it normally takes to cremate a corpse.

which group of jews is in your avatar

 

[metroid_fetish]

More posts as evidence nerds who got on the internet at the tail end of the 1990s when they were angry, marginalized teen computer geeks turned out to be probably the worst humans in existence in a way that transcends generations and will never change. The same aging fat idiot goons using gendered slurs and calling each other faggot until they get cremated at an unattended funeral 20 years down the line

Put a loaded gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

Put a loaded gun in your mouth and pull the trigger.

Why everything is so funny and I don't want to miss out

 

[forums poster wow]

look at this guy's avatar lmao. have you ever tried to talk to people irl about the jews my man? how did that go? also which group of jews is being represented in your avatar. just curious.

have you ever tried to talk to a shrink irl my blob?

 

[Ilmseil]

Why everything is so funny and I don't want to miss out

I wonder what mental illness drives this style of posting, do you think you're somehow sticking it to those evil nazis here or something? You're a literal 400, possibly more, pound shapeless mass of flesh. Can you walk? How far, if so? Do you hold down a job?

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

These are really good questions, and since FatAsh is about as easy to figure out as the kids' puzzles on a McDonald's Happy Meal, I'll go ahead and answer for xir:

1 + 2: Ashley always wanted to be pretty, slender, smart and popular. Unfortunately due to a series of unfortunate events (poor genetics, garbage family upbringing, even poorer lifestyle choices) she scored exactly 0/4 on that count. Sad, but millions of people have had similar aspirations and struck out. The key difference is that most don't let their failures in life turn them into self-hating, bitter, morbidly obese freaks that spend their post-midnight hours obsessively stalking niche forums and desperately trying to get attention.

3: None whatsoever. Aside from being the disgustingly ugly fat chick, Ash's toxic personality managed to alienate all but the most merciful of local frens. And even the kindest soul would find other things to do (like, say, learning how to empty a septic tank) rather than spend a single afternoon with her.

4. Eating at the local food court. Alone, of course.

5. Harry Potter, Das Kapital (never read, but sits on a plywood bookshelf hoping to impress hovel guests), Rules for Radicals (she made it to #3), somethingsomething

So you grew up reading Roissy's blog right? How's that going for you in the chick department since that guy got doxed like 10 years ago as being a nauseating pedo dork who entertains himself with grandiose delusions of being a master manipulator of women and a playboy? Kind of like the guy you transitioned to, pleasureman?

 

[Never Scored]

More posts as evidence nerds who got on the internet at the tail end of the 1990s when they were angry, marginalized teen computer geeks turned out to be probably the worst humans in existence in a way that transcends generations and will never change. The same aging fat idiot goons using gendered slurs and calling each other faggot until they get cremated at an unattended funeral 20 years down the line

No one's going to be at your funeral because you're too fat to menstruate.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I was curious, Ashley. You're a 'wiccan' (the #1 religion for women with nothing interesting about them), what would Marx have had to say abut candle magic?

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Does anybody want to tell MovieBob that we found him a woman? I can't help but notice dat projection, inflamed inferiority complex, self-loathing combo.

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

How well have fad diets (or any diets) worked for you?

I remember this bit from 1990s snl lmao remember that one? Jon Lovitz was so funny.

I was curious, Ashley. You're a 'wiccan' (the #1 religion for women with nothing interesting about them), what would Marx have had to say abut candle magic?

yeah i'm wiccan

EBaum has a porsche, a trophy wife and like at least 4 mil in the bank. LowT has a minivan, 2 divorces and an affair with a mentally ill freak crazy person, and an imminent bankruptcy.

It's like Bitcoin except instead of goin UP UP UP!!! It's goin DOWN DOWN DOWN!!!

HaHa WaCkY zAnY!

I bet you wish your life turned out like that guy huh!!!! Ebaum remember him

 

[Ilmseil]

I bet you wish your life turned out like that guy huh!!!! Ebaum remember him

At this point, whatever this thing you're trying to do it embarrassing and I'd stop. You won't, of course, so please keep going.

 

[RealGarrisonCartoon]

At this point, whatever this thing you're trying to do it embarrassing and I'd stop. You won't, of course, so please keep going.

I don't think anyone gives a shit about this forum since the owner is a proven pedophile but sure.