Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Since I don't care to open up Blobbo's twitter feed to read the rest of this guy's ramblings, I'll just focus on the one part I can see. The reason much of the white working/middle class (nice to lump everyone together, that's not painting with an overly broad brush) doesn't care about Medicare for All isn't because of cruelty, it's because they've seen the debacle of Obamacare and said "okay, healthcare might be absurd in this country but I sure as hell don't want more of that." Has there ever been an instance of the government taking over any aspect of our day-to-day lives and making it more efficient and cheaper? I can't think of any.

Not to mention that a lot of people are familiar enough with basic economics to understand that "free healthcare" is most definitely not free. Someone's gotta pay for it, and it won't be the rich, they'll just offshore their money and keep it out of the socialists' hands. Nope, it'll overwhelmingly be the middle and working class footing the bill. Uncle Boiney's plan (or at least the latest thing he calls his plan) is to tax those who make over $29,000/year, which currently means just about everyone in this country with a full-time job. Since he's also calling for a $15 minimum wage, that would raise it from just about everyone who works a full-time job to literally everyone. And since taxes alone probably won't cover it all, that means running the deficit up even higher than it already is. And that's without even getting into the possibility of worsening care.
The super rich will always dodge taxes, so by raising the minimum wage you divert money from them to people who presumably will pay taxes. Clearly they'll just take salary cuts to pay the new wages rather than simply raise the price of everything...
 
Are Bobby and Dobby acquainted? I don’t think I’ve encountered any posts of the two speaking to or about each other. Do we know which one is “above” the other?
Dobson definitely knows of Bob:
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Since Dobson communicates only through replies, I don't think he's mentioned MovieBob since being banned from Twitter.
 
Dobson definitely knows of Bob:
53fe8f16-7d4e-4ac6-aa37-bea9625ed062-jpeg.299013
Since Dobson communicates only through replies, I don't think he's mentioned MovieBob since being banned from Twitter.
Dobson has indeed reblogged stuff from MovieBob, while Bob has no idea that Dobson exists. For those not familiar with Dobson, let's just say that he's everything you'd expect an unironic follower of fucking MovieBob to be: stupid, unprincipled, a complete failure in life, fatbald little die-alone, etc.
I never thought my opinion of Dobson could get any worse than it already was. I was wrong.
At least now I know how far gone you have to be to be a fan of Bob
 
Dobson has indeed reblogged stuff from MovieBob, while Bob has no idea that Dobson exists. For those not familiar with Dobson, let's just say that he's everything you'd expect an unironic follower of fucking MovieBob to be: stupid, unprincipled, a complete failure in life, fatbald little die-alone, etc.
Dobson and Bob have one thing in common apart from being fat, unlikeable greaseballs virgins.

They have a particular fetish for certain kinds of women.
 
Apparently Bob has access to his old Big Picture episodes and he’s been reuploading them on his YouTube channel.

Also, Bob’s channel has dipped in subscribers.
View attachment 1142726
According to Social Blade, Robert loses an average of 66 subscribers a day and has lost around 2K subs in the last 30 days. So not only has he failed to grow his channel over the last few years, he's now actively losing subs:
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According to Social Blade, Robert loses an average of 66 subscribers a day and has lost around 2K subs in the last 30 days. So not only has he failed to grow his channel over the last few years, he's now actively losing subs:
View attachment 1143279
At least it’s finally happening at a somewhat accelerated rate. It’s a miracle he’s maintained his audience as long as he has
 
Are Bobby and Dobby acquainted? I don’t think I’ve encountered any posts of the two speaking to or about each other. Do we know which one is “above” the other?
Dobson sucks up to Moviebob, follows him, and often regurgitates Movieblob talking points.

Cinemablob, on the other hand, probably doesn't even know Dobson exists.

Edit: Dammit, ninja'd by @The Littlest Shitlord :P and @RSVP
 
What's the over/under on, assuming he does one, what Bob's Sonic review review will be like? My money is him questioning why are Sonic's arms blue.
It’s gonna begin with a discussion on why video game movies never work and why Hollywood should stop making them, but then make a comment about the Mario movie somewhere. Then he’ll give his usual shallow reasons for why the movie isn’t good, and possibly say that you know it wasn’t going to be good if paramount was willing to change sonic because that implies they never had any real vision for the project(insert Bob’s vocal parenthetical tangents) and some gaspy sounding dialog you have his review

bonus points if he compared video game movies to comic book movies in any form
 
It’s gonna begin with a discussion on why video game movies never work and why Hollywood should stop making them, but then make a comment about the Mario movie somewhere. Then he’ll give his usual shallow reasons for why the movie isn’t good, and possibly say that you know it wasn’t going to be good if paramount was willing to change sonic because that implies they never had any real vision for the project(insert Bob’s vocal parenthetical tangents) and some gaspy sounding dialog you have his review

bonus points if he compared video game movies to comic book movies in any form
Especially Marvel movies, since he sucks them harder than a vacuum cleaner.
 
While I'm firmly in the camp of "that happened" or "and before she changed it that lady's name was Albert Einstein," I can totally see Bob slipping a hooker an extra fifty bucks so he can call her "Dagny."

"Hey, baby - if you make my Atlas Shrugged until my Fountainhead blows an Anthem, i'll throw in a free copy of 'Brick By Brick'"
 
"Hey, baby - if you make my Atlas Shrugged until my Fountainhead blows an Anthem, i'll throw in a free copy of 'Brick By Brick'"
Every time I read the title of his book I remember that LEGO island song. He shouldn’t sully the name of LEGO island with his stupid mario ramblings
 
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To be fair, a racing movie set in a massive, heavily urbanized sci-fi world could be an interesting popcorn flick. The problem would be dissociating it from the Hot Wheels brand. Hot Wheels has brand recognition, but utilizing it would make the movie seem like more of a soulless cash grab and/or a 90 minute toy advertisement, instead of a fun summer flick.
Then again, I'm probably reading too much into this.
But what makes this funny to me is we're coming up with these wild movie ideas that are head and shoulders above Bob's. The reason they are is because we're not being pretentious. We're not pretending these silly movie ideas are anything other than that: silly. We don't try to make them seem like something more than what they are.
Robert Chipman, He of the Moving Pictures, on the other hand, takes his asinine ideas and actually presents them seriously, and if you don't get it it's because you're a small-brained, inbred mayonnaise wasteland ghoul. He tries to present his autistic vomit as something deep and insightful.
Throwing around dumb movie ideas can be fun. My favorite RLM moment is Mike's pitch for a "boy in the wall" horror film called "The Inside".

But your point about a soulless cash grab or a toy advertisement is spot on. Bob loves the old Transformers TV show and movies. Like before, he has a reasonable point taken to a dumb extreme.

I like the 1986 Transformers animated movie. Good animation, great soundtrack, and above all fun despite (or perhaps because) it's a toy ad and Star Wars rip off who's goal was to kill off the old characters so kids would want the new toys. But there's more to films than that and Bob refuses to move on past his nostalgia. I'd bet that Michael Bay Transformers movie used the designs from his childhood and Megan Fox played a ball busting lesbian, he'd give it 11/10.

Apparently Bob has access to his old Big Picture episodes and he’s been reuploading them on his YouTube channel.
Has he reposted the episode where he calls Halo racist?

According to Social Blade, Robert loses an average of 66 subscribers a day and has lost around 2K subs in the last 30 days. So not only has he failed to grow his channel over the last few years, he's now actively losing subs:
What makes this funny is that he's been promoted by everybody from Geek.com, ScrewAttack, The Escapist, and (according to Razorfist) Jay Leno, and he still struggles to get the number of views and subscribers as the likes of Razorfist, The Quartering, Nick Rekieta, even Null gets more views on his random streams than Bob does for his videos that require hundreds of hours of editing per episode.

What's the over/under on, assuming he does one, what Bob's Sonic review review will be like? My money is him questioning why are Sonic's arms blue.
Serious answer. He's going to give it a middle of the road review.

He hates Sonic movie fans for successfully getting the design changed, and Birds of Prey fans are lying about the movies fans being bigots to try and stop it beating Birds of Prey at the box office.
Bob might even meet Albert Einstein at the theater. Even if it's great, he's not going to give it above average to be a good ally to lefty Twitter.

However, FilmRobert can't bring himself to badmouth a childhood favorite. The film appears to follow the western canon instead of the Japanese canon used since Sonic Adventures, Bob says he didn't like the Japanese canon so that's a point in it's favor. It doesn't have the extended Sonic cast in the trailer, another point since Bob hates all the extended cast (his ideal Sonic game opens with them all being killed off). I don't know if Bob likes SatAM, I'm guessing he liked the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon which was more childish and shit. The film doesn't seem to be a train wreck on the level of Pixel's or The Room, and the producers gave enough of a shit to change the Sonic design, which shows somebody gave at least a fraction of a fuck.

My prediction. 2 stars. Low enough to shit on the film and keep good with lefty Twitter, but not so low that he has to cry himself to sleep at having helped kill a childhood icon. If they show the Sonic 1 Robotnic ship, 3 stars.
 
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Throwing around dumb movie ideas can be fun. My favorite RLM moment is Mike's pitch for a "boy in the wall" horror film called "The Inside".
That remains one of the funniest things they've done in recent years. I can't rewatch it enough. But it also perfectly illustrates the difference between the dumb movie ideas that RLM and kiwis have come up with, and the ones Bobby has.

RLM's horror movie concept is built off of understanding the current horror movie scene and creating a parody of that concept. Mike and Jay have been watching a lot of modern horror movies to make fun of them, and through that they've built up a knowledge of the current tropes that are being used and abused. Mike strings these together and comes up with the dumbest concept he can think of, and it still manages to feel consistent with modern horror movies. It helps that a lot of modern horror movies are dumb anyway, but that's beside the point. Point is, you can visualize it clearly and actually believe that a producer like Blumhouse would greenlight it, even as a serious effort. While they sometimes talk about their ideas for things they're a fan of (Mike's Picard show concept being a good example), the whole RLM gang understands that Hollywood is full of hack frauds that don't know shit about anything they're producing, so their ideas are usually parodies of "what's the absolute dumbest thing they could do with this franchise?" It's funny until it becomes sad whenever it turns out they accidentally predicted what ended up happening.

As @Sexy Senior Citizen said, Bob takes his ideas very seriously, and he seems to believe that his reimaginings would be definite box office successes instead of hot garbage. For a supposed film critic, he really doesn't know how these corporate schlock movies are put together, so his own concepts come across as ridiculously out-of-touch. That's when they're not the super lazy ones that are just "[random franchise] + [actress Bob is jacking off to]. $1 billion idea. Call me, Hollywood." Instead of giving you a parody to laugh at or a concept you'd really want to see, Bob's ideas make you go "...what?"
 
Ya know, I want for someone to take that Care Bears idea and do what they did with that Jack Chick D&D comic, turn into the most satirical-exploitation fest possible and just go for bonus mocking all of Bobos writing. Him being dumb than a sack of potatoes, hed probably consider it amazing.
 
That remains one of the funniest things they've done in recent years. I can't rewatch it enough. But it also perfectly illustrates the difference between the dumb movie ideas that RLM and kiwis have come up with, and the ones Bobby has.

RLM's horror movie concept is built off of understanding the current horror movie scene and creating a parody of that concept. Mike and Jay have been watching a lot of modern horror movies to make fun of them, and through that they've built up a knowledge of the current tropes that are being used and abused. Mike strings these together and comes up with the dumbest concept he can think of, and it still manages to feel consistent with modern horror movies. It helps that a lot of modern horror movies are dumb anyway, but that's beside the point. Point is, you can visualize it clearly and actually believe that a producer like Blumhouse would greenlight it, even as a serious effort. While they sometimes talk about their ideas for things they're a fan of (Mike's Picard show concept being a good example), the whole RLM gang understands that Hollywood is full of hack frauds that don't know shit about anything they're producing, so their ideas are usually parodies of "what's the absolute dumbest thing they could do with this franchise?" It's funny until it becomes sad whenever it turns out they accidentally predicted what ended up happening.

As @Sexy Senior Citizen said, Bob takes his ideas very seriously, and he seems to believe that his reimaginings would be definite box office successes instead of hot garbage. For a supposed film critic, he really doesn't know how these corporate schlock movies are put together, so his own concepts come across as ridiculously out-of-touch. That's when they're not the super lazy ones that are just "[random franchise] + [actress Bob is jacking off to]. $1 billion idea. Call me, Hollywood." Instead of giving you a parody to laugh at or a concept you'd really want to see, Bob's ideas make you go "...what?"
I think the biggest problem with Bob's pitches is the sheer tonal dissonance.
Care Bears meets Paradise Lost" is dumb. It's really fucking dumb.
You have these themes of the nature of God, rebellion, order vs. chaos, free will vs. fate, the human soul, a revolt of the angels and all this Paradise Lost stuff grafted on to the motherfucking Care Bears.
That will never not be utterly retarded.
Add on top of that Bob blatantly ripping off the MCU in terms of character interaction, action sequences, and general tone.
Seriously imagine Captain America saying "Avengers Assemble".
Now imagine that same tone of voice and inflection applied to Tenderheart saying "Care Bear...Stare!".
No actor on earth could make that sound dignified or badass.
The same goes for Megaman becoming a proxy for Bob's working class vs. automation sperg out.
Or Captain Planet involving eldritch abominations and malthusianism.
It takes something fluffy and innocent and gives it a makeover with the insanity that lies within Bob's broken and twisted mind.
 
I think the biggest problem with Bob's pitches is the sheer tonal dissonance.
Care Bears meets Paradise Lost" is dumb. It's really fucking dumb.
You have these themes of the nature of God, rebellion, order vs. chaos, free will vs. fate, the human soul, a revolt of the angels and all this Paradise Lost stuff grafted on to the motherfucking Care Bears.
That will never not be utterly exceptional.
Add on top of that Bob blatantly ripping off the MCU in terms of character interaction, action sequences, and general tone.
Seriously imagine Captain America saying "Avengers Assemble".
Now imagine that same tone of voice and inflection applied to Tenderheart saying "Care Bear...Stare!".
No actor on earth could make that sound dignified or badass.
The same goes for Megaman becoming a proxy for Bob's working class vs. automation sperg out.
Or Captain Planet involving eldritch abominations and malthusianism.
It takes something fluffy and innocent and gives it a makeover with the insanity that lies within Bob's broken and twisted mind.
Methinks Bob's would be a fan of Fallout Equestria, if he is not already. I can see him as a closet brony.
 
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