Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[BR55]

I think this one actually works, mostly because the original product was a cynical exercise in agitprop for children.

The Captain Planet script is the "most" sane of Bob's script ideas.
If only because it's not far off from what a woke big budget reboot of Captain Planet would probably look like.
For example Wheeler is now a Portland Oregon native environmentalist bro.
The russian girl, forgot what her name is, is now a Saudi Arabian Muslim because of course thats what she would race lifted to.
An antagonist is a Fox News Blight News anchor.
Big dumb action scenes.
A prologue in the prehistoric establishing the original planeteers as a shaman order.
An MCU style post credits scene because every single one of Bob's scripts has to end like that.*
If any of these abominations had to get made I would choose this one.
Because we've seen crap like this before countless times.
*Bit of a tangent but I seriously hate that everything needs a post credits sequel hook now.
Imagine if Lord of the Rings ended with Morgoth out in the void vowing to do it himself, again, Thanos style, Dagor Dagoroth confirmed motherfuckers!
It would just be dumb and all these post credit stingers are dumb.

 

[The tired cat]

Methinks Bob's would be a fan of Fallout Equestria, if he is not already. I can see him as a closet brony.

You know, I'll say this as dumb as FOE was and could get, it least tried to rework Fallouts tech/stuff to fit the MLP world, combined working just as a silly "what if" and jusf stayed as a fan fic series. Bobo on the other hand actually thinks he has some grand Hollywood ideas of taking simple kids stuff and twisting em so much that American McGee and Tim Burton would tell him to take it down a notch.

 

[LiquidKid]

The Captain Planet script is the "most" sane of Bob's script ideas.
If only because it's not far off from what a woke big budget reboot of Captain Planet would probably look like.
For example Wheeler is now a Portland Oregon native environmentalist bro.
The russian girl, forgot what her name is, is now a Saudi Arabian Muslim because of course thats what she would race lifted to.
An antagonist is a Fox News Blight News anchor.
Big dumb action scenes.
A prologue in the prehistoric establishing the original planeteers as a shaman order.
An MCU style post credits scene because every single one of Bob's scripts has to end like that.*
If any of these abominations had to get made I would choose this one.
Because we've seen crap like this before countless times.
*Bit of a tangent but I seriously hate that everything needs a post credits sequel hook now.
Imagine if Lord of the Rings ended with Morgoth out in the void vowing to do it himself, again, Thanos style, Dagor Dagoroth confirmed motherfuckers!
It would just be dumb and all these post credit stingers are dumb.

It’s sort of an evolution of the final scene in the horror movie where the monster shows it’s still alive. It’s meant to test the water for a sequel. But this kinda fails because marvel movie guarantee sequels even if they don’t do well(because let’s face it, not doing well for marvel is still doing phenomenal for the average film). People just expect those scenes these days.
I guess it gives people an excuse to potentially read a random name or two in the credits, but that’s about it

 

[Mola Ram]

Imagine if Lord of the Rings ended with Morgoth out in the void vowing to do it himself, again, Thanos style, Dagor Dagoroth confirmed motherfuckers!

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 

[Doctor Placebo]

Bob hates all the extended cast (his ideal Sonic game opens with them all being killed off).

This is another idea that's pique insight into Robert's twisted mind that I hadn't heard before. Did he say this in a video or an article?

As @Sexy Senior Citizen said, Bob takes his ideas very seriously, and he seems to believe that his reimaginings would be definite box office successes instead of hot garbage.

I could see his movies becoming popular in an Ed Wood/The Room fashion, where everyone laughs at the insane garbage this lunatic made.

That will never happen though because for the hilarity of Robert's movies to land, he would have to get access to a bunch of popular childhood franchises and then burn them all to the ground, which no corporation would allow. A dark and gritty Care Bears reboot that attempts to be deep would be an unforgettable experience, but it would also ruin the reputation of the franchise for a very long time. Too much of a cost for the benefit for studios. So even if we lived in a clown world where a millionaire wanted to fund Robert's movies, he could never make his so-bad-it's-hilarious pitches properly. Plus even if he made a ton of money, he'd be too vain to make more than one after he realized people were laughing at him, just like with his book.

 

[Mola Ram]

So even if we lived in a clown world where a millionaire wanted to fund Robert's movies, he could never make his so-bad-it's-hilarious pitches properly. Plus even if he made a ton of money, he'd be too vain to make more than one after he realized people were laughing at him, just like with his book.

The real problem is Bob's ego and personality would never allow him to work on any sort of collaborative project, certainly not something on the level and complexity of even a modestly budgeted Hollywood film. The best case scenario is someone buys Bob's screenplay then shuts him out of the process entirely, free to make whatever alterations they want in the hopes of salvaging it. But the crap he writes is too insane even for that scenario.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

The real problem is Bob's ego and personality would never allow him to work on any sort of collaborative project, certainly not something on the level and complexity of even a modestly budgeted Hollywood film. The best case scenario is someone buys Bob's screenplay then shuts him out of the process entirely, free to make whatever alterations they want in the hopes of salvaging it. But the crap he writes is too insane even for that scenario.

Bob's ego wouldn't even allow him to work for a cable access show of all things. To think it would allow him to climb the social pyramid and make it into a studio executive's office is laughable.

 

[LiquidKid]

So he’s obviously super bitter about this movie, and begins with a rant about sonic being irrelevant and essentially says it’s every CGI mascot film ever. Which is probably true, but the seething behind his words is lost on no one.
What gets me the most is that he did fit in a marvel comparison, only he went for Howard the Duck, ending with “it’s the same movie and it’s just as bad, but Howard has an edge to it. It’s the worse version of Howard the Duck.”

He also claims that sonic had no defined backstory or premise in the actual games. Which is hypocritical when you remember this is the same man who had an existential crisis over Mario not being from Brooklyn in Yoshi’s Island

he also sounds like he has the Wuflu

 

[The tired cat]

I wanna ask in what way did Howard the duck have an edge to it.

 

[Mola Ram]

I wanna ask in what way did Howard the duck have an edge to it.

Any movie where Lea Thompson fucks an anthropomorphic duck has an edge. Not a good edge, mind you, but definitely an edge.

 

[The tired cat]

Any movie where Lea Thompson fucks an anthropomorphic duck has an edge. Not a good edge, mind you, but definitely an edge.

Welp, thanks for bringing that part that I tried to mind wipe from my brain space. I wonder why Bobo sees that as edge since Howard is kinda a loser in both our world and his despite being a duck, but he saves the day and get a hot chick..oh wait, I just answered my own question. Projection much Bobo?

Also, I'll bet you 10$ if this movie was about Yoshi, Bobo would suck this movies diiiiiiiiiiick.

 

[Mola Ram]

Welp, thanks for bringing that part that I tried to mind wipe from my brain space. I wonder why Bobo sees that as edge since Howard is kinda a loser in both our world and his despite being a duck, but he saves the day and get a hot chick..oh wait, I just answered my own question. Projection much Bobo?

Also, I'll bet you 10$ if this movie was about Yoshi, Bobo would suck this movies diiiiiiiiiiick.

Howard the Duck is deservedly remembered as an absolute piece of shit (also, the first Marvel property to be adapted to the big screen, fucking lol). I can't see Bob giving it even the mildest praise for any reason other than sheer contrarianism. Either that or he's a buffoonish shithead with abominable taste, but that's baked into the cake.

 

[LiquidKid]

I wanna ask in what way did Howard the duck have an edge to it.

Duck tits and a interspecies sex scene most likely

Howard the Duck is deservedly remembered as an absolute piece of shit (also, the first Marvel property to be adapted to the big screen, fucking lol). I can't see Bob giving it even the mildest praise for any reason other than sheer contrarianism. Either that or he's a buffoonish shithead with abominable taste, but that's baked into the cake.

He doesn’t praise it, he just claims sonic is the same movie but worse. Because no matter what, it has to go back to marvel in some way with Bob

 

[Marissa Moira]

As is true of Bob's fascination with Mario Bros. and his hateful personality, the contrast between the fluffy innocence of the original property and Bob's focus on violence and grittiness makes for some high-larious dissonance.







You know, I have to give Bob credit. I consider myself a modestly talented writer and I could not come up with something this demented if I had a hundred years. Bravo.

Dynamax Carebear Evolutions.

So he’s obviously super bitter about this movie, and begins with a rant about sonic being irrelevant and essentially says it’s every CGI mascot film ever. Which is probably true, but the seething behind his words is lost on no one.
What gets me the most is that he did fit in a marvel comparison, only he went for Howard the Duck, ending with “it’s the same movie and it’s just as bad, but Howard has an edge to it. It’s the worse version of Howard the Duck.”

He also claims that sonic had no defined backstory or premise in the actual games. Which is hypocritical when you remember this is the same man who had an existential crisis over Mario not being from Brooklyn in Yoshi’s Island

he also sounds like he has the Wuflu

Imagine being this fucking bitter over the Sega vs Nintendo Rivalry in 2020

I mean the playstation 5 isn't coming out until 2021 Sony would not be purchasing Sega before that.

 

[The tired cat]

Imagine being this fucking bitter over the Sega vs Nintendo Rivalry in 2020

I mean the playstation 5 isn't coming out until 2021 Sony would not be purchasing Sega before that.

Well ya know, dorks like Bobo never move on from that phase. To them it was an important part of their childhood, they'll be damned if they'll allow for that rivalry to die!

 

[Oh Long Johnson]

I so wish Sanic was directed by Ava DuVernay.

 

[Marissa Moira]

Well ya know, dorks like Bobo never move on from that phase. To them it was an important part of their childhood, they'll be damned if they'll allow for that rivalry to die!

I was Bill who's mom let him have two consoles.

I also inherited a bunch of Nintendo stuff from relatives who were just looking to get rid of it.

I even have both Genesis(the Non-AT Games good version) and SNES mini consoles

Like really nothing is stopping you from buying both, especially since you're a grown ass man.

 

[The tired cat]

I was Bill who's mom let him have two consoles.

I also inherited a bunch of Nintendo stuff from relatives who were just looking to get rid of it.

I even have both Genesis(the Non-AT Games good version) and SNES mini consoles

Like really nothing is stopping you from buying both, especially since you're a grown ass man.

It's this strange thing when it comes to some console fans. Like you get to pick only ONE console and stick it, thus swearing your allegiance to this brand and showing you fully support them, pick another and you have betrayed everyone! An oddly enough, these people are proud that they are putting these limitations on themselves, that they picked say just the SWITCH an won't play any PS4 or Xbone games and vice versa. Hell, some take it further and believe that becoming a PC gamer is being traitorous or missing on PC games that are exclusives is a noble thing for them.

 

[LiquidKid]

Dynamax Carebear Evolutions.


Imagine being this fucking bitter over the Sega vs Nintendo Rivalry in 2020

I mean the playstation 5 isn't coming out until 2021 Sony would not be purchasing Sega before that.

He’s the reason Mario is still around. If he doesn’t defend Mario’s honor, who would?

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

I was Bill who's mom let him have two consoles.

I also inherited a bunch of Nintendo stuff from relatives who were just looking to get rid of it.

I even have both Genesis(the Non-AT Games good version) and SNES mini consoles

Like really nothing is stopping you from buying both, especially since you're a grown ass man.

Remember what autists like bob say. The console wars are never over. Remember the virtual boy, slay the hex-box and ps triple!