Asexuality

[bradsternum]

Are you really trying to sell us the whole demisexual thing?

I don't see it as an impossibility.

TL;DR I'm wary of anyone who's vocal about being asexual, because the whole thing's been co-opted by Tumblrites. And if it's your true and honest orientation, I don't see any reason to make a big deal about it.

As to the rest of your comments, I agree. I went to a really, really, REALLY left wing school. The kind that changed all of their bathrooms to "non-gendered." When it came time for intros at the start of classes, it was like a Strunk & White nightmare. "Hello, my name is Mx Xerxi, I am a radical non-binary nongendered bisexual Female to Male queer fascist with primary male attraction and secondary female attraction. DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO LABEL ME."

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

IMO, maybe 10% of the people claiming to be asexual have a low or nonexistent sex drive.

The other 90% are either too apathetic or inept at playing the game to actually score, and whole movement is just an Tumblr-speak excuse: "I'm not filthy, socially clumsy & boorish! I'm Asexual! Don't you persecute me!".

That being said though, sex isn't the do-all and be-all of social status, like it tends to be in the money/machismo/alpha-male mainstream American culture nowadays.

 

[Dr. Meme]

its like the 2015 equivalent to being a sceneaged girl and being bisexual but only liking boys

 

[Pandas Galore]

Asexual is definitely one of the most subjective things I've seen in a while. Not for a medical reason (as in the medical definition of the word) but in how it's used by the average person. Many people on this site have called me asexual for being just disinterested in sex, which fits in with some peoples' definitions of asexuality but not everyone's. Some people believe that asexuality means 0 sex drive, others believe it can be a disinterest while others believe that it can be that they have not found the right person yet (thus one is incredibly common). I'm not here to say that a sexuality does or does not exist but I can assume that there is at least one person in the 8 billion on this planet that cannot feel sexual attraction.

 

[Xarpho]

To me, "asexuality" is just like "incel", used differently by two very different communities but boiled down to the same thing.

Asexuality: "I have no relationships with anyone, and I find my normal sexual orientation* is boring. I want an unusual label I can apply to myself so others can pity and/or love me."
Incel: "I have no relationships with anyone, and I find this as a bad thing. I want an unusual label I can apply to myself so others can pity and/or love me."


* Usually heterosexuality

 

[SP 199]

I'm kinda..I dunno the fitting word for this... Bitter? Towards 'Asexuality' mostly because my Ex was apparently asexual but she declined to inform me of that until after 8 months of dating and quite conveniently her birthday.

I might just be really fucking shallow but if you feel that way fucking tell someone at the start of the relationship instead of leading them on for 8 months then using it as a convenient get out of jail free card.

 

[TheMightyMonarch]

It's like that shit euphoric atheists say. It's a sexuality like bald is a hair color.

This.

I get really annoyed at Tumblr snowflakes, most of them who aren't even TRUE and HONEST asexuals to begin with, claiming to be "queer" because their asexual. Fuck you. You can be asexual and gay (it's rare as hell but people like that exist) but if you're not queer just for being asexual. I feel like on Tumblr being straight is "boring", so people latch on these identities because being a cishet is so awful to them. Despite that the majority of the population is cishet. To me, it almost seems insulting to co opt the struggles of a group that has a history of being marginalized because it's the "cool" thing to do.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

This.
To me, it almost seems insulting to co opt the struggles of a group that has a history of being marginalized because it's the "cool" thing to do.

THIS.

When you can loose your job, your house, your kids, be denied hospital/death decisions for your loved ones, or be legally executed by you country's government for being "asexual", give us a yell.

 

[caffeinated_wench]

This.

I get really annoyed at Tumblr snowflakes, most of them who aren't even TRUE and HONEST asexuals to begin with, claiming to be "queer" because their asexual. Fuck you. You can be asexual and gay (it's rare as hell but people like that exist) but if you're not queer just for being asexual. I feel like on Tumblr being straight is "boring", so people latch on these identities because being a cishet is so awful to them. Despite that the majority of the population is cishet. To me, it almost seems insulting to co opt the struggles of a group that has a history of being marginalized because it's the "cool" thing to do.

It feels like the tumblrites have pretty much poisoned just about everything for the sake of being seen as a speshul snowflake. Unfortunate, really. You should never make a label your whole identity. (That, and it makes it incredibly difficult for anyone to take the legitimate ones seriously.)

 

[Pandas Galore]

This.

I get really annoyed at Tumblr snowflakes, most of them who aren't even TRUE and HONEST asexuals to begin with, claiming to be "queer" because their asexual. Fuck you. You can be asexual and gay (it's rare as hell but people like that exist) but if you're not queer just for being asexual. I feel like on Tumblr being straight is "boring", so people latch on these identities because being a cishet is so awful to them. Despite that the majority of the population is cishet. To me, it almost seems insulting to co opt the struggles of a group that has a history of being marginalized because it's the "cool" thing to do.

These issues also exist with stuff like PTSD. PTSD is now a joke thanks to Tumblr, a lot of people will not take you seriously for PTSD because of all the people going "RESPECT MY TRIGGERS YOU CISHET SCUMLORD"

In PTSD lots of other issues exist such as people not beleiving that you can have PTSD from things other than a combat zone. While the most common form is from war, PTSD can come from several other traumatic events such as a shark attack, sexual assault or other situations.

Tumblr tends to dilute a word or mental condition to the point that it becomes a joke, which is sad, because it leads a lot of people to believe that these conditions no longer exist solely because of the teenage girls or immature women on Tumblr that decide that their trigger is pomegranates.

 

[vertexwindi]

I don't care for people who claim they're asexual when they just have a low sex-drive. They come off as pretentious.

I know one person in my life who is just completely uninterested in sex or masturbation of any kind. One. He's also autistic and I'm sure that there's a correlation there.

 

[Alberto Balsalm]

THIS.

When you can loose your job, your house, your kids, be denied hospital/death decisions for your loved ones, or be legally executed by you country's government for being "asexual", give us a yell.

This proposition gets tossed at the Tumblrites a lot, and I've noticed these days they often default to "we live in fear of CORRECTIVE RAPE!". Which is a term for an issue that specifically concerns lesbians in third-world countries; they never have any sources to prove that awkward nerdy uni students are the real victims.

 

[Chippy]

I'm asexual.

I didn't realize it until a while ago. The first-- and only-- time I ever had sex, it was sort of spontaneous, and I wasn't attracted to them at all, but they initiated it and I went with it and it was fine but when it was over, all I could think was "that's it?"

I never felt the need to do it again.

I remember when I was younger, my brother got this poster with some half-naked girl on it and put it on his wall, and I thought it was silly, because what was the point? And then I learned that people have favorite porn actors or models or celebrities that they think are attractive, and that, for example, my friend is really attracted to her husband, and it sort of hit me that "Oh, shit, people actually get physically attracted to each other? There are people who actually look at someone and think 'I want to tap that'?"

The realization blew my mind. It was like suddenly waking up on a different planet and realizing for the first time that the people around you are humans and you're the martian.

But I don't have a victim complex about it or anything, and I think that the people who mention their asexuality any more than in passing are irritating as all hell. For me, it's not a big deal, and I don't see why it should be. It's certainly nothing to feel oppressed about.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

swankIVY (the girl who introduced me to Gloria Tesch by doing that video about the Maradonia Saga's promotional tactics a long time ago) is apparently very vocally one of these asexual people and her Youtube and website have a ton of videos/articles on the subject. That's likely to be just an example of a person going sjw over time more than anything, but I don't know, I suppose it surprised me.

Anyway I've encountered a lot of people who claim to be "asexual" online and there's a very large spectrum of people who use that label. I have seen people who in addition to having no libido say that they legitimately cannot observe attractiveness in people and don't really even understand that concept. I think those people can probably be called "asexual" accurately. That's the extreme end though. In the middle are the people who say they have aesthetic but not sexual attraction to people, then the people who say that they have a sex drive that's not directed at anyone, and at the other end we get people that say they are only aroused by inflation midget vore porn and the people who have tons of sex but still aren't attracted to their partners and the people who maybe experience sexual attraction but only to the color blue and on Fridays. So I think it's widespread enough that it definitely exists in a small section of the population but a large chunk of those who claim asexuality are perhaps just ramming a square peg into a round hole.

Some of the motivation for those people is tumblrgender-style attention seeking, but I don't think that's in all cases. In a lot of these situations it has to do with society being oversexed in nature and especially when you're a teenager and trying to look for labels to define yourself you're told that you'll want to get boy/girlfriends and you'll get crushes and get horny and want to have sex and masturbate and so on and are told that's normal to be sex-obsessed and it happens to everyone. So if someone's not that interested (or even just does not find top priority) some or any of these they start to believe that something's wrong with them and try to find an explanation for it; they might decide that they're asexual even though their experiences are really well within the spectrum of normality.

Even in the "true" cases it's argued that it's just a medical condition or mental disability rather than a real sexuality. In my opinion that may very well be true, but it doesn't make much difference whether it is or not because it's not generally treatable nor is it a symptom that generally causes distress. There's a difference between having a sex drive and losing it and never having one at all, so these people don't feel like they're missing anything.

tl;dr it probably exists but many people who identify as asexual are just normal people who assume that they must be asexual because they don't deeply care about sex.

 

[PetalPinkPuppy]

Eh, I'm asexual and I knew I was long before AVEN and Tumblr reared their ugly heads, I just didn't have a word for it because in those days you were either gay or straight. Went through years of trying to fix myself and force interest in sex, even tried out a same sex relationship to see if I was gay. Nada, nothing, no interest, zip, zero, zilch. I was happy when I found a label existed for that and others had similar experiences but that's soured and turned to irritation due to the tumblr kidlets latching onto it and making it a laughable 'spectrum' with every preference being it's own sexuality. That's not how that works. The romantic stuff I can deal with.. until it gets to stuff like adulterousromantic because WTF... but no one needs a whole new sexuality for an asexual who is only aroused on Fridays if the moon is full and SU is on TV.

I can't say I'm entirely happy with my asexuality though. It's not trendy, it just plain sucks. Quickest way to chase off a potential love interest is to let them know that there will never be any sex nor will I ever find them sexually attractive and having sex is akin to someone jamming a finger up my nose. In other words - sort of gross and not happening. Because of that.. yeah, my asexuality comes up more than I wish it did. I feel obligated to tell anyone who is interested that I'm asexual before I even consider a first date. I don't want someone to end up feeling betrayed when I drop the "no sex ever" bomb because they invested time in a relationship that can't work.

Oh and like Chippy - it blew my mind when I realized people actually look at celebrities and seriously want to have sex with them. It blew my mind when I learned people who have sex actually and actively want to have the sex before clothes come off, they don't just start doing things and hope the mood strikes them along the way. I've never been sexually attracted to anyone and I'm way past the age where that should have happened, so I think it's safe to say I'm actually asexual.

I'm also tired and it's 5am. TL;DR - the dog in the tutu is asexual.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

I don't believe sexual orientation really exists but rather that there are several different sexual functions that occur in the brain resulting in sexual attractions. I think that this causes problems even for homosexuality and that asexuality really demonstrates how flawed the model is. I think asexuality is likely just a reduced sex drive in people who aren't fishing for attention but it may be more accurately described as low short term sex drive allowing one to still desire to become more attractive to mates and pursue long term relationships

 

[Demon King]

I am only posting to put a bit of perspective on Asexuality, and especially the community (AVEN).

99% of them, are not actually asexual. They are sheltered, socially inept, autistic/aspie bullshit. Result of sheltered parenting/abusive parenting.

1% of them are telling the truth. They do not participate in identity politics.

"Asexuality's" definition isn't properly defined in the community. This leads to more people identifying as such. This is common in LGBT communities, who are obsessed with making everything a spectrum.

I personally would fall into the 1%, as I do not experience any sexual attraction. Do I have libido? Yes. Do I want to fuck people? no. All people have libido, but not all people have something to direct it at. Do I have fetishes? Yes, but they do not involve people or sentient beings/practical means. This is the result of the abuse I went through growing up. If the parent fucks up your ability to form healthy relationships, your libido manifests in abstract ways. If you have one fetish, you are bound to have several.

I also think people are attracted to traits, not sex. No matter what sex presents these traits, you will have some sort of attraction to them. Nothing to be ashamed of. It is how we get things like prison gay, traps, and butch being attractive. Orientation being binary is bullshit.

 

[Spooky Bones]

There is certainly a spectrum of level of sexual desire. Tumblresque "asexuality", however, is just like inceldom in that it's based on the faulty premise that everyone is having sex all the time and having an especially vigorous amount of sex is essential to identity (and thus, not having it is, contrariwise, essential to identity.)

"Demisexuality" is absurd and hilarious. Not sleeping with random people, but only people you connect with, is simply not being a slut.

Placing the whole thing in the LGBTQFML umbrella is idiotic.

 

[Safir]

"Demisexuality" is absurd and hilarious. Not sleeping with random people, but only people you connect with, is simply not being a slut.

It's a convenient way for people who want to be part of the alphabet soup to avoid girldick duty.

 

[Demon King]

There is certainly a spectrum of level of sexual desire. Tumblresque "asexuality", however, is just like inceldom in that it's based on the faulty premise that everyone is having sex all the time and having an especially vigorous amount of sex is essential to identity (and thus, not having it is, contrariwise, essential to identity.)

"Demisexuality" is absurd and hilarious. Not sleeping with random people, but only people you connect with, is simply not being a slut.

Placing the whole thing in the LGBTQFML umbrella is idiotic.

I always considered "Demisexuality", "straight with dignity".