Chris's excuses for being unemployed / pretending to be overworked megathread

Status
Not open for further replies.
ToroidalBoat said:
Chris worked at Wendy's, but predictably got fired. The last straw was drawing a supervisor as an ugly Pokemon, although IIRC Chris claimed it was for making a child cry with that hideous Donald Duck impression (which he later denied as well).

(he also briefly worked for Cutco without much success)
Click to expand...

Chris had jobs there. In my opinion, chris never did any work there.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: twattycake, Francis E. Dec Esc., Aldora and 6 others
ExceptionallyExceptional said:
For people speculating on Chris' tugboat, perhaps a little clarity would help here.
Yes, he might see a minor increase in his tugboat when Barb dies. MIGHT. The reason being is that if someone else is sharing your expenses they'll actually lower how much you get paid, whereas if you're on your own completely they'll give you slightly more.
SLIGHTLY more. As in, maybe a couple hundred. Let's say Chris is sitting on about a grand a month from his tugboat. If that's been decreased because he's receiving "financial assistance from outside sources" such as a roommate (or parent) paying part of your rent or utilities, then when Barb dies he may see a very minor increase in his cash benefits to offset what he's no longer receiving from outside the Social Security system. But they absolutely won't increase it enough to match exactly what he's no longer receiving.

Make no mistake, this likely wouldn't keep Chris afloat in his current existence. Unless they own 14BC outright and have no mortgages against it, it's just not going to be enough to keep the place. Not with Chris' spending habits and complete inability to be responsible.

Increase or not, Chris is gonna have no make some tough decisions. Like moving out of the home he grew up in and settling in an apartment which, given that they're usually owned by people who will actually snoop around to make sure you aren't fucking things up in there, is unlikely to last very long in any given place.
The other choice, the only other choice I can think of, is that he's going to have to learn the finer points of subleasing and start renting out rooms. But knowing Chris he's gonna end up bringing on absolute speds as irresponsible as himself and he'll be unaware that you can't simply toss out a legal tenant without going through the proper procedures.
Click to expand...
Anyone that willingly moves in with Chris as a tenant is almost certain to be mental and possibly dangerous.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Buer, twattycake, Guts Gets Some and 9 others
Slowinthemind said:
Anyone that willingly moves in with Chris as a tenant is almost certain to be mental and possibly dangerous.
Click to expand...

I resent that. I'm probably not even gonna take that many photos of Chris while he sleeps. Maybe, like, three or four a night.

He will need to move some of the hoard to make room for my haunted doll collection though.
 
  • Lunacy
  • DRINK!
  • Like
Reactions: twattycake, The Un-Clit, Calooby and 6 others
troon patrol said:
Barb fucked up any chance Chris/Cole has inheriting 14 BC, this has been discussed quite a bit, it's unclear the full extent there are multiple mortgages and possible a reverse. What is clear is the house is practically owned by the bank and to a cetain extent all the creditors that have been suing Barb/Chris for the last few years. I can only speak what I know of California real estate but, typically the judgements that cannot be collected (someone is broke) become a lean on the property meaning when the house is sold a portion is more or less immediately taken and given to the winners of civil judgements. All this really doesn't matter, what matters is Chris only has a few months of living at 14 BC after Barb dies because she royally fucked him and anyone else who would normally inherit a home from a deceased parent. The banks will immediately start paperwork on recovering the the house that has no equity. She is a pretty horrible person by all accounts, as this means chris will be homeless even if he magically learns how to lease properties, even selling the home for some quick cash like a "short sale" isn't realistic. This is one of the many reasons her family dislikes her.

TL;DR Barb is a bad person, drained equity out of the house for QVC shopping and hording shit and she knew she was setting things in motion so bad Chris couldn't possibly retain the house even to live in.
Click to expand...

Damn. If that was the case, and this sounds a-log-ish, Chris should be the first to die (or move out), cause he is going to suffer.

Now that I think about it more, it's no surprise Barb is selfish, as she made Cole leave her, and made Chris basically into a prisoner (even Chris had mentioned that).
 
  • Feels
Reactions: Calooby
ToroidalBoat said:
Seems so. CWCki says he (mostly) did cleaning stuff at Wendy's instead of food (good call on their part). As for Cutco, the CWCki describes unsold knives lying around 14BLC to this day.
Click to expand...

I wonder how much be tried to sell those knives. I'm sure they saw him as a sucker and told him he'd be a great salesperson - and Chris thinks he is by acting like he's in a commercial from time to time.

I wonder if he just went to a few houses in his neighborhood, got rejected, and quit.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: The Un-Clit, Argh My Cigar, Francis E. Dec Esc. and 5 others
RustyNail(her) said:
I wonder how much be tried to sell those knives. I'm sure they saw him as a sucker and told him he'd be a great salesperson - and Chris thinks he is by acting like he's in a commercial from time to time.

I wonder if he just went to a few houses in his neighborhood, got rejected, and quit.
Click to expand...

Yeah. That would explain the knives in their kitchen. I want to say that he offloaded them onto Barb and Bob to sell to their friends, but I doubt that.

I wouldn't buy anything from someone who crafted an Attraction Sign.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Corn Sake, Argh My Cigar, Francis E. Dec Esc. and 4 others
Tennis-Ball-Tony said:
Agree. Chris never understood, nor understands, that work benefits other people and the worker.

Chris only ever understood it as "Get a job". Much like he understood losing his virginity as an achievement.
Click to expand...

This is something I've picked up over time (not that it's something complex to pick up on), is that no matter what Chris does he doesn't seem to understand why he's doing it, just that he should be doing it.

His interactions with women that he "loved" being the most glaring examples (this is what straight people are supposed to do, so I should do it). It's as if his entire life has just been reading out of a manual with 0 nuance. He doesn't understand the dynamic of working, it's I have to have a job to get a girlfriend and impress her parents. The dynamic of a relationship, it's when you love (doesn't understand what this word means either) a girl, you're supposed to say nice things and act like a creepy stalker. And so on.

And he's only gotten worse the older he's gotten. What a mess.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: The Un-Clit, Calooby, ToroidalBoat and 6 others
I feel like customer service just assimilates you even if you scream or kick from the start. It just has a way of making you jaded over time. I feel like if he was yelled at enough for fucking up and forced to keep at it, he'd have had a chance.

But it's Chris and that didn't nor ever will happen.
 
  • Feels
  • Optimistic
Reactions: The Un-Clit, Calooby and BigTubboWithLittleChina
Agumon said:
I feel like customer service just assimilates you even if you scream or kick from the start. It just has a way of making you jaded over time. I feel like if he was yelled at enough for fucking up and forced to keep at it, he'd have had a chance.

But it's Chris and that didn't nor ever will happen.
Click to expand...

Chris has had problems with being "yelled at" (read: constructive criticism) by authority figures, even his own parents. And Chris has heard for many a while how much he's fucked up, but refuses to knowledge it. Sometimes him not working is the best thing that could have happened for him, and the everyday customer.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Muncie Anderson, Calooby, Picklechu and 6 others
Hogar Grupal said:
Chris has had problems with being "yelled at" (read: constructive criticism) by authority figures, even his own parents. And Chris has heard for many a while how much he's fucked up, but refuses to knowledge it. Sometimes him not working is the best thing that could have happened for him, and the everyday customer.
Click to expand...
I completely disregarded his college days. I take everything back. Chris is just not meant for this world.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
  • DRINK!
Reactions: Hogar Grupal, The Un-Clit, Calooby and 4 others
Agumon said:
I completely disregarded his college days. I take everything back. Chris is just not meant for this world.
Click to expand...

I get that Chris wants to socialize, but his execution is awkward at best and creepy at worst, even now with his merge BS. The only thing I see Chris doing is basically how he was raised; shut in. Basically, put him in the back room and have him take inventory.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
  • Agree
Reactions: Calooby, Picklechu, BigTubboWithLittleChina and 2 others
Hogar Grupal said:
Chris has had problems with being "yelled at" (read: constructive criticism) by authority figures, even his own parents. And Chris has heard for many a while how much he's fucked up, but refuses to knowledge it. Sometimes him not working is the best thing that could have happened for him, and the everyday customer.
Click to expand...
I agree, the best reason for Chris‘s continued unemployment is that a boss can instead hire literally anyone other than Chris.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Buer, DatBepisTho, Calooby and 5 others
RustyNail(her) said:
I wonder how much be tried to sell those knives. I'm sure they saw him as a sucker and told him he'd be a great salesperson - and Chris thinks he is by acting like he's in a commercial from time to time.

I wonder if he just went to a few houses in his neighborhood, got rejected, and quit.
Click to expand...
Some guy at a stand in the mall tried selling me those knives. Just wtf is up with those handles?
 

Attachments

  • 6321E64F-4588-4391-9C16-612A03689A87.jpeg
    6321E64F-4588-4391-9C16-612A03689A87.jpeg
    35.8 KB · Views: 262
  • Dumb
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Elaine Benes, Francis E. Dec Esc. and Hastur
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back