Twitter 2/22 - Chris on seeing his dad naked

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Spergichu said:
How long do you think it took for Chris to realize porn isn't real couples having sex? It had to be when he was well into his 20's at least.
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He still hasn't come to understand porn is fake. That's why he's had an Autistic obsession with tribbing and other sex acts no one actually does in real life. I mean, he thinks CARTOON characters are real.
 
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RedHawk said:
Well, to be fair that was mid early internet and the videos were blurry as hell. YouPorn was starting to get traction and Xvideos was incredibly unreliable. Pornhub didn't existed yet? I don't know.... But I do remember that watching a porn video 10-13 years ago was a chore.
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Exactly. This is a few years before you could watch porn on your phone, zoomers just don’t know how difficult it was to get in a good wank session back then. Plus the computer was in the kitchen or something. So if he ever had the urge to purge, he’d have to wait until his parents, who where both retired and mostly housebound, weren’t in the immediate area. Makes sense that he’d have a spank bank cloistered away in his room. Also, even now, Chris is really big into owning physical copies of things. His autism makes him want to squirrel away all his nuts. Pun intended. The dude likes to collect.
 
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Mason Verger said:
Exactly. This is a few years before you could watch porn on your phone, zoomers just don’t know how difficult it was to get in a good wank session back then. Plus the computer was in the kitchen or something. So if he ever had the urge to purge, he’d have to wait until his parents, who where both retired and mostly housebound, weren’t in the immediate area. Makes sense that he’d have a spank bank cloistered away in his room. Also, even now, Chris is really big into owning physical copies of things. His autism makes him want to squirrel away all his nuts. Pun intended. The dude likes to collect.
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Didn't Chris own a bunch of porn DVDs he could watch in his room?
 
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RedHawk said:
Well, to be fair that was mid early internet and the videos were blurry as hell. YouPorn was starting to get traction and Xvideos was incredibly unreliable. Pornhub didn't existed yet? I don't know.... But I do remember that watching a porn video 10-13 years ago was a chore.
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...y'know, I totally forgot there was a time when HD porn wasn't available within two clicks and three seconds of loading. I've been spoiled by it.

I am more than old enough to be here, I promise.
 
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Mason Verger said:
He did, had quite the collection too. I think he eventually sold it on eBay, or at least tried to. If I recall it was pretty vanilla, kink wise.
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I’m kinda convinced he only bought those because that’s “what men do”, and also to try and see if he’s legitimately attracted to women. I guarantee he never bothered to look up internet titties much so old-fashioned physical media was probably the way to go for him.

i also like how in his QA he gave half assed answers but when asked what his favorite porn stars were he gave a laundry list of adult actresses
 
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Argh My Cigar said:
I’m kinda convinced he only bought those because that’s “what men do”, and also to try and see if he’s legitimately attracted to women. I guarantee he never bothered to look up internet titties much so old-fashioned physical media was probably the way to go for him.

i also like how in his QA he gave half assed answers but when asked what his favorite porn stars were he gave a laundry list of adult actresses
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I guess the Sailor Moon poster and his bookshelf full of old-school pornography wasn't enough to keep him on the STRAIGHT and narrow...

*sigh*
 
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I like how this became a thread about Chris' masturbating habits lmao
 

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I firmly believe that Bob was packing the full summer sausage. I saw that one picture of Barb when Chris was a baby and she was wearing some kind of Dressage outfit (the anchuent foreshadowing of his MLP fascination). She was kind of cute. Every picture I have seen of Bob he's always looked pretty Gramp-tastic. According to lore, that first night they were both drunk as fuck. Perhaps he took her home and took the 18 wheeler fuck truck to pound town. Barb then fell in love with his massive senior citizen chubby. It almost makes sense.
 
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DeeCeeBees said:
I firmly believe that Bob was packing the full summer sausage. I saw that one picture of Barb when Chris was a baby and she was wearing some kind of Dressage outfit (the anchuent foreshadowing of his MLP fascination). She was kind of cute. Every picture I have seen of Bob he's always looked pretty Gramp-tastic. According to lore, that first night they were both drunk as fuck. Perhaps he took her home and took the 18 wheeler fuck truck to pound town. Barb then fell in love with his massive senior citizen chubby. It almost makes sense.
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Barb was 38 and Bob was 52 when they got married.
 
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Hogar Grupal said:
Barb was 38 and Bob was 52 when they got married.
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I did read that in the CWCki. I don't know if a wedding picture exists as I haven't seen it. The only pictures I have seen of Bob go straight from his yearbook photos to looking old as hell. I don't know Barb's intentions when she hooked up with Grandpa. Perhaps she heard he was an engineer and since that sounds impressive she next saw dollar signs.
 
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DeeCeeBees said:
I did read that in the CWCki. I don't know if a wedding picture exists as I haven't seen it. The only pictures I have seen of Bob go straight from his yearbook photos to looking old as hell. I don't know Barb's intentions when she hooked up with Grandpa. Perhaps she heard he was an engineer and since that sounds impressive she next saw dollar signs.
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Some people have also said that. Before she met Bob. Barb was moving from apartment to apartment. I think it was a quick marriage, hence no photo. I would peculate that the two went on a few dates. He was married before Barb, so that would be why there'd be no photos of him in his 30s or 40s.
 
Has this Chris topic run its course? There hasn't been any direct Chris output on it in days? 🤔
 
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