Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz - OG Internet blogger, Author of the NYT bestseller Alphabet of Manliness, Cohost of the Biggest Problem in the Universe, Filer of the Lolsuit. MADDOX BLAST!

[break these cuffs]

Cracked misses pre-woke cracked. But when you are so far down the broke woke path, you can’t turn around.

Wasn't early Cracked just Seanbaby after they paid him to start posting on their site instead of his own? That's all I remember reading.

 

[Sped Xing]

Seanbaby sucks, but After Hours was fun.

 

[break these cuffs]

Seanbaby sucks, but After Hours was fun.

No bitch is safe from Chicago Ted.

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

I still kinda miss pre-woke cracked.com.

I'm surprised Cracked is still going. I remember their parent company edging close to bankruptcy back during gamergate but it just never went over the edge.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I'm surprised Cracked is still going. I remember their parent company edging close to bankruptcy back during gamergate but it just never went over the edge.

I'm actually surprised, too. Does it still get traffic? I'd expect its about as active as SA.

ED: Punctuation

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

I'm actually surprised, too. Does it still get traffic? I'd expect its about as active as SA.

ED: Punctuation

A quick Alexa search says that it has 9.51 million sessions with roughly 3 pageviews a session. That sounds like people going to the page for a quick look out of morbid curiosity and then leaving once they realize nothing has improved.

Not sure about SA though

 

[RichardMongler]

A shame Cracked will never be reissued because all their masterprints were destroyed by the government during the anthrax scare of 2001. Those were the best.

Yeah, early 2000s internet culture was fueled entirely by its novelty: raw flash animations with sound effects sourced from other movies/videogames, celebrity fanpages on Geocities / Angelfire / Tripod, zany humor websites and places for conspiracy theories and fringe political beliefs. That time when Newgrounds, Ogrish and Rotten.com were neck and neck for edgiest sites on the internet.

 

[bigoogabaloogas]

A shame Cracked will never be reissued because all their masterprints were destroyed by the government during the anthrax scare of 2001. Those were the best.

Yeah, early 2000s internet culture was fueled entirely by its novelty: raw flash animations with sound effects sourced from other movies/videogames, celebrity fanpages on Geocities / Angelfire / Tripod, zany humor websites and places for conspiracy theories and fringe political beliefs. That time when Newgrounds, Ogrish and Rotten.com were neck and neck for edgiest sites on the internet.

Still remember getting trolled by googlehammer and those jumpscare gifs on youtube. Early 2000s definitely fucked up the minds of children back then.

 

[Rekkington]

Maybe the TV stuff. I can't bear the mean-spirited fuckdrumpfery and yassssqueenery that gets called comedy in the current year, either. And it has been fucking ages since I saw a new film that really made me laugh. But it's a different story if we're talking about Internet comedy. Internet comedy was shit back in Maddox's heyday. I distinctly remember that part of the fun of it was laughing at how crap the animations on rathergood.com were and how dumb the writing on the websites where guys pretended to be pirates or ninjas was. I remember thinking it was funny that some idiot somewhere had taken the time to make that. But even teenagers get over "lol it's so random and shit" humour fairly quickly. Contrast that with nowadays where there is loads of genuinely funny shit going on on the Internet, despite Google, the ADL, George Ouzounian and countless others doing their best to find it, get offended by it and censor it.



Which is why that Pikachu animation Maddox made is so lame. If that was on rathergood.com 20 years ago I'd have probably laughed at it, but Internet humour has evolved to the point that the video just looks like some kind of weird attempt to groom kids.

Cosigning this, that was a time where people were doing "Harry Pothead." It was literally just that, a bright spot of Homestar Runner, and then jerking off to Flash games where you click and drag the clothes off Christina Aguilera nude photoshops. If anything I wanna go back to when you could still jerk off to just seeing a titty. Life fucking sucks in the future. In 10 years people will be like "man remember when all you had to do to get off was see some nazi anime feet?"

 

[Rausch]

Still remember getting trolled by googlehammer and those jumpscare gifs on youtube. Early 2000s definitely fucked up the minds of children back then.

The current year sees your gifs and raises you drag queens in person reading you stories while occasionally flashing you, with angry protesters outside and uncomfortable and armed police inside while you're still traumatised from seeing the latest videos that the kid in your class with liberal parents and plenty of mobile data showed you.

 

[Adamska]

Because dial-up and reading George's shitty blog was so good back then.

 

[Archeopthryx]

Back then you treasure and optimize your internet surfing because we were all in 56k. Now we zombie on through Youtube and other social media sites.
I still remember putting porn in a floppy disk because you don't have computers that are 24/7 in the internet.

 

[Adamska]

Because those were far better times, where downloading even small patches for games like Daggerfall or HOI could be casually yeeted by the folks getting a call or you couldn't get the net for days because a line was down, or it just didn't feel like loading.

Face it, web 1.0 sucked dick, and it's hilarious that the reminiscing is even trying to pretend said shit was any good.

 

[break these cuffs]

Because those were far better times, where downloading even small patches for games like Daggerfall or HOI could be casually yeeted by the folks getting a call or you couldn't get the net for days because a line was down, or it just didn't feel like loading.

Face it, web 1.0 sucked dick, and it's hilarious that the reminiscing is even trying to pretend said shit was any good.

Web 1.0 was good because only white men were on the internet. Specifically it was the white guys who built it and young nerds who were discovering it.

 

[Adamska]

Web 1.0 was good because only white men were on the internet. Specifically it was the white guys who built it and young nerds who were discovering it.

Because no darkies trumps taking minutes just to load a shitty forum, and it totally means there weren't oxygen thieves on like George who by the definitions of some WNs would not count as white anyways.

Face it, there is no excuse that works to defend Web 1.0; it was shit, and you mongs have rose glasses for it.

 

[break these cuffs]

Because no darkies trumps taking minutes just to load a shitty forum, and it totally means there weren't oxygen thieves on like George who by the definitions of some WNs would not count as white anyways.

Face it, there is no excuse that works to defend Web 1.0; it was shit, and you mongs have rose glasses for it.

Sure I'm looking at it through rose colored glasses. There is no denying that. The reason why I love it is because it was a new frontier. It was something special. The internet nowadays is shit because it's been corporatized and sanitized. Back then it was ability and passion that drove the web. It had heart. Now you do a risk assessment and profitability matrix before launching a new site or feature whereas back then it was done because someone thought it needed to be done. The success or failure was secondary. Everything was so new that you won just by trying, I like that much more than the sterile. outrage click driven internet of today.

I guess it's just a Jeep owner thing.

 

[Adamska]

Sure I'm looking at it through rose colored glasses. There is no denying that. The reason why I love it is because it was a new frontier. It was something special. The internet nowadays is shit because it's been corporatized and sanitized. Back then it was ability and passion that drove the web. It had heart. Now you do a risk assessment and profitability matrix before launching a new site or feature whereas back then it was done because someone thought it needed to be done. The success or failure was secondary. Everything was so new that you won just by trying, I like that much more than the sterile. outrage click driven internet of today.

I guess it's just a Jeep owner thing.

Such passion, much heart, little outrage.

wow

 

[break these cuffs]

Such passion, much heart, little outrage.

wow

Cherry picking examples of why Web 1.0 sucks is retarded because by sheer volume alone you can find so many more examples of why today's web sucks. I don't care if people don't venerate what came before. I still don't understand Jerkcity and think it's stupid. Technology and it's ancillary fields evolve at a rapid pace. I prefer the wild west internet for all it's faults. This forum itself is unique and a relic of a bygone age in it's own right.

 

[Adamska]

Cherry picking examples of why Web 1.0 sucks is exceptional because by sheer volume alone you can find so many more examples of why today's web sucks. I don't care if people don't venerate what came before. I still don't understand Jerkcity and think it's stupid. Technology and it's ancillary fields evolve at a rapid pace. I prefer the wild west internet for all it's faults. This forum itself is unique and a relic of a bygone age in it's own right.

And I was there for most of it too, the only thing I'll remotely miss is the lack of corporatism, since I had to deal with the shitty tech for so long it gives me brain tumors just thinking about having to wait for minutes for a site to load.

I do not miss dial up, I do not miss when search engines did not exist. I much prefer the improved infrastructure and lowered bar.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

And I was there for most of it too, the only thing I'll remotely miss is the lack of corporatism, since I had to deal with the shitty tech for so long it gives me brain tumors just thinking about having to wait for minutes for a site to load.

I do not miss dial up, I do not miss when search engines did not exist. I much prefer the improved infrastructure and lowered bar.

I do not miss having to download several files and then fucking compile them just to see a simple JPG. Downloading audio and video was so cumbersome I’m actually lolling at the memory. There’s no fucking comparison. George was never going to last once he had competition.