Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Vastly Amused]

Tess is off getting more expensive beauty treatments - lasering off her excess hair from being a fatty hormonal mess this time - instead of paying for an apartment. Gee, I'm sure your oldest son would much rather your be FIERCE than be permitted to live with you again.
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And she continues to bitch about the quality of men she can attract at 450 pounds of unadulterated narcissism and hysterics. Why oh why can't she just find a fit, attractive, successful, and stable man to adore her?

Like attracts like, Ryann.
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With her new self discovery of being queer, her pool of eligible dates have widened. Or was that just a lie for woke points?

Also, if she's getting stretch marks on her arms, she is gaining rapidly. Her arms were already huge to begin with, so that's startling.

 

[SnarkySperg]

With her new self discovery of being queer, her pool of eligible dates have widened. Or was that just a lie for woke points?

It was definitely a lie. She's the type who, at best, would make out with a girl at a party when she's drunk. Also, even if she was, she'd probably still want more from a woman than she's willing to provide herself, so not really. Or she'd only date women who make her look skinny, which would be extremely difficult to manage.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

It was definitely a lie. She's the type who, at best, would make out with a girl at a party when she's drunk. Also, even if she was, she'd probably still want more from a woman than she's willing to provide herself, so not really. Or she'd only date women who make her look skinny, which would be extremely difficult to manage.

Yes. It was a lie for woke points. The most Tess would get it on with another woman is a bit kissing and maybe boob grabbing.

And honestly, no woman would want Tess' horrifying acrylic claws anywhere near her vagina.

 

[SnarkySperg]

And honestly, no woman would want Tess' horrifying acrylic claws anywhere near her vagina.

Oh god, you're right. I'm shuddering just thinking about it. Not to mention all the other issues with her. I think most women would be turned off by the stench.

 

[multiverse]

Fat bitch goes to a Gucci event; looks gigantic, gross and trashy. Check out that fake fall of hair down the back - but it's REALLLL, y'all! I also enjoy her attempts to pretend to have a neck.

 

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

Fat bitch goes to a Gucci event; looks gigantic, gross and trashy. Check out that fake fall of hair down the back - but it's REALLLL, y'all! I also enjoy her attempts to pretend to have a neck.
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Who wants to tell Liv that she doesn't have amazing legs? Also, Tess's hooves in those shoes remind me of people who try to put heeled shoes on flat-footed bjds.

 

[Barbarella]

I guess it must feel nice to wear a super mini mini dress and not having to worry about showing off your vageen because it’s squished under layers and layers and folds of fat.

I guess.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Did she actually get a Gucci dress?
Or since it was a "beauty event", maybe just a bottle of perfume.
Tom Ford would NEVER.

 

[multiverse]

Did she actually get a Gucci dress?
Or since it was a "beauty event", maybe just a bottle of perfume.
Tom Ford would NEVER.

Fuuuuck no. Gucci doesn't make a single thing in a size she could squeeze into - and she couldn't afford one of they did.

Also: she would have tagged the dress as a flex of it was anything but cheap taobao type shit.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Fat bitch goes to a Gucci event; looks gigantic, gross and trashy. Check out that fake fall of hair down the back - but it's REALLLL, y'all! I also enjoy her attempts to pretend to have a neck.
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She stands and walks less gracefully than the average woman does in the grocery store, and those clear heels show off her obesity toe splay.

Fuuuuck no. Gucci doesn't make a single thing in a size she could squeeze into - and she couldn't afford one of they did.

Also: she would have tagged the dress as a flex of it was anything but cheap taobao type shit.

I wonder if she was seething over glitterandlazer’s D&G dress as she pulled this on.

 

[Tyrante]

A little bit off topic but it bothers me, Instagram recommended me another "plus size" model called Jaebaeproductions. I saw a post where she complained not finding dresses her size when she had to go to prom, it reminded me so much of Tess and her attitude.
Since when plus size became being morbidly obese? Do these people even know what plus size means in the modeling industry?

 

[[V A P O R W A V E]]

Fat bitch goes to a Gucci event; looks gigantic, gross and trashy. Check out that fake fall of hair down the back - but it's REALLLL, y'all! I also enjoy her attempts to pretend to have a neck.
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She looks like someone just draped an aluminum blanket over her. She is just making fashion look bad.

 

[Water-T]

She stands and walks less gracefully than the average woman does in the grocery store, and those clear heels show off her obesity toe splay.

LOL. Only strippers and hookers wear clear heels.

 

[multiverse]

Tess grudgingly remembers that she's supposed to acknowledge the young gays who give her services in exchange for promotion. Also, you get what you pay for: that bright, graphic editorial makeup intended for bright studio lights didn't show up at that dark evening event at all.


It also seems like she's testing the waters for a free or at least discounted Nikko Hurtado tattoo; she hasn't gotten one from him since he finished off her right sleeve.


Oh Tess, Nikko doesn't need your promo. He's famous in his own right, he doesn't need your poor advertising.

 

[Water-T]

It also seems like she's testing the waters for a free or at least discounted Nikko Hurtado tattoo; she hasn't gotten one from him since he finished off her right sleeve.


Oh Tess, Nikko doesn't need your promo. He's famous in his own right, he doesn't need your poor advertising.

I'm sure he's just dying to do more work on a canvas that is on the verge of getting stretched to oblivion and make his work look like ass.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

I'm sure he's just dying to do more work on a canvas that is on the verge of getting stretched to oblivion and make his work look like ass.

I always feel bad when I see the tattoos, because I genuinely like them. They are beautiful artworks on a garbage canvas. Her bloated arms make cringe and I have the urge to pull up a handful of Tess' skin and staple Dolly back to the shoulder. Watching the tattoos sliding down Tess arm is for me an equally upsetting view like watching a beautiful oil painting coming off its canvas.

 

[John Milton]

It also seems like she's testing the waters for a free or at least discounted Nikko Hurtado tattoo; she hasn't gotten one from him since he finished off her right sleeve.
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Where is her elbow?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I thought Kat Von D did her ink, for some reason.

It is beautiful work, especially the Dolly portrait, just a shame about the skin it's attached to. Those will look real good when she starts getting stretch marks on her arms and shoulders.

 

[multiverse]

Where is her elbow?

Lol who needs elbows when you have a crapton of gross food?

 

[Trombonista]

Have we reached Tess's weight in pages yet?