Wuhan Coronavirus: Megathread - Got too big

[Testicular Manslaugther]

India is outlawing spitting in the streets. Now all they need to do is stop dumping bodies in their holy river and street-shitting, and India will be at late Victorian, British hygiene standards.

Are there designated Corona streets yet?

 

[Super-Chevy454]

Styx vlogged then it's the Chinese government who's the sole responsible for the Corona-chan. I think I heard lots of "RRRREEEEE" coming from snowflakes who said Trump is responsible.

These comments posted by Youtubers are priceless and gived me a smile. :-)

Hidden Desire
China is trying to purge any documentation that is linking to coronavirus/wuhan virus/Kung Flu to them. On twitter their officials are also claiming the disease was unleashed by the US army.

DontBlameTheDog
They might do it at home, but the rest of us know they did this. They're like children trying to convince Dad that they weren't the ones who threw the baseball through the window. Communism is for infantile personalities.

 

[Tamamo No Mae]

The Home Guard has been asked to help out sending foreign tourists back home when they enter the country. So this is what meets people in Oslo, Gardermoen these days.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

The Home Guard has been asked to help out sending foreign tourists back home when they enter the country. So this is what meets people in Oslo, Gardermoen these days.

View attachment 1188747

Funny how The RIGHT TO TRAVEL suddenly falls right the hell apart when it becomes about something other than going to Amsterdamn to get high and drunk and piss in the mailboxes.

So Mini report on my first night back to work after my 3 days off (in which this shit went from about a 5 on the Retard-Panick-O-meter to about a 500)

Toilet Paper is Empty, Soup is Empty (except the Condensed Soup) and Veggies sort of empty except the two gigantic stacks of Canned Beets. Most of the people I encountered seemed sane and level headed. I've seen more people confused about the Sudden Run on Toilet Paper than actually worried about the Virus, including several Individuals who should probably be worried.

Also Can confirm that Wal-marts company wide are going to 6am-11PM hours, because..reasons. I asked my Manager and..did not get an explanation that was at all related to being closed.

Most insane customer : A guy who bought a PS4 Pro, 4 Games and the VR headset because he was afraid he was gonna get quarantined in his house for 4 months and have nothing to do.

 

[Death Grip]

Why would people wanting to go to Amsterdam, be heading for Norway?

 

[Lina Colorado]

Belgium is a mess. We do not, and I repeat, do NOT even have a government right now.
They are trying to assemble a parliament but it does not seem to work very well.

Minister of health, big Maggie

is now lamenting that we did not receive the much needed order of facemasks last night. A "mistake" happened. We don't know where the masks are at right now and are looking for other outlets. Chanches are, some sources say, that we will not be able to get any more masks period.
Artsy fartsy people are complaining about the fact that we cannot gather anymore to watch their plays and preformances and how much monies they are losing right now. Also alot of cheesy self-congragulation of artists who preform for free now. Cuz they are so nice and stuff.

Doctors appearing on tv all day to talk about this virus.. like aren't you supposed to be on post in your hospital? What are you doing all these long interviews for? We already know we have to wash our hands, doc. thanks for your input lol.

The dutchies are panicking too, about the fact that their schools are not closing down yet.

Not to talk about the people here who are havin' "lock down parties". Fuck, I don't even blame them anymore at this point.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Why would people wanting to go to Amsterdam, be heading for Norway?

Because the whole "RIGHT OF MOVEMENT" bullshit that the EU Embraced was just a method for Upper-Middle class college kids to be able to go party on weekends without needing to plan ahead.

Edit : I think they call it right of Movement, not Right to Travel my mistake.

 

[Testicular Manslaugther]

The Home Guard has been asked to help out sending foreign tourists back home when they enter the country. So this is what meets people in Oslo, Gardermoen these days.

View attachment 1188747

Here the home guard is manning the non-acute Corona info-hotline, and they've become the butt of a whole lot of jokes because they supposedly give terrible advice.

Because the whole "RIGHT OF MOVEMENT" bullshit that the EU Embraced was just a method for Upper-Middle class college kids to be able to go party on weekends without needing to plan ahead.

Edit : I think they call it right of Movement, not Right to Travel my mistake.

Freedom of movement doesn't really mean anything with regards to tourism, hardly any countries ban tourists because it's free money. Even North Korea has tourism. Freedom of movement is about stealing jobs.

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

Finland Update

New infections 30 total of 240.
Less than yesterday but you have to remember there are now stricter parameters on those who get to be tested. That includes those who are travelers, who have been in contact with infected, and risk groups. So we might not get the true stats of the situation

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

Minister of health, big Maggie

is now lamenting that we did not receive the much needed order of facemasks last night. A "mistake" happened. We don't know where the masks are at right now and are looking for other outlets. Chanches are, some sources say, that we will not be able to get any more masks period.

Normally I'd be sniggering at Belgium having a death fat Minister of Health but when you watch the Matt Hancock interview it fills you with deep concern that this idiot has been put in charge of handling a crisis.

In other news, Matt Hancock confirms that ventilators are desperately needed and that the elderly need to stay in for four months in the UK. (https://twitter.com/g_gosden/status/1239130621924040704)

 

[Evilronald]

View attachment 1188716

Never too late to let everyone know you are oppressed.

Between the Iranians starting shit in Iraq (despite their country being all sorts of fucked by corona virus), to Turkey starting shit in Syria, and now the Palestinians: it seems like the one benefit we are getting from this pandemic is seeing exactly what the worst governments in the world are capable of. Hopefully after this crisis is over, people and governments will remember who stepped up and tried to help the global community and who cares more about decade or centuries old grudges than addressing a very real threat to these country’s own citizens.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

New Florida cases.

I like how they always release this shit when I'm sleeping.

Sigh.

 

[Tamamo No Mae]

Here the home guard is manning the non-acute Corona info-hotline, and they've become the butt of a whole lot of jokes because they supposedly give terrible advice.

There's been talks about them helping out with that sort of thing as well, just to relieve the medical personnel and health authorities from all the calls which does not need immediate help.

 

[Not Really Here]

Also Can confirm that Wal-marts company wide are going to 6am-11PM hours, because..reasons. I asked my Manager and..did not get an explanation that was at all related to being closed.

I know what my local Walmart stock looks like, but I'm wondering what the distribution centers pallet racks look like.

 

[HTTP Error 404]

Also Can confirm that Wal-marts company wide are going to 6am-11PM hours, because..reasons. I asked my Manager and..did not get an explanation that was at all related to being closed.

Winco staff on twitter were reporting that people were rushing the workers as they filled shelves. They bring pallets out into the isles in the middle of the night with forklifts, which apparently were being picked clean before the workers could even stock.

Might be something similar. They might also be anticipating losing a huge amount of their workforce.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Winco was reporting that people were rushing the workers as they filled shelves.

That is normal though, customers are really rude to people who stock shelves. I've had people push my ladder over while I was standing on it trying to get to something while I was filling an item on the top shelf.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

My boss asked me to fly into the office for a business trip recently. I had tickets to a concert I was going to on Saturday, so I got the company to buy me a ticket on Friday so I could stay over the weekend and see the band.

I get to the office on Friday, and am told that the office will be closing down on Wednesday as a shakedown test for potential quarantine and shutdown. OK. Then I get a call from the concert promoter telling me the band won't be showing up and that the concert is cancelled.

It's now Sunday and the CEO of the company says "you know, everyone should probably work from home if they can starting Monday"

Thanks, guys. I flew out here and now I'm going to be flying back for the privilege of sitting in the office over the weekend jerking off and playing DOS games on my laptop.

Hopefully someone doesn't coof on me on the flight back home, that would be the absolute cherry on this shit sundae.

 

[Ivan Shatov]

During the Wack out DoT.Com era while I was bullshitting with the elite in the region I am now living in, usually while golfing (fucking hate that sport but you gotta to and get the connections) they will ALWAYS ask about what line of work that you are in and of course I'll tell them that I'm in the Death Industry, particularly in Forensic Cleaning (that's PC term now) and I tell them I made my fortune off of the dumb asses who spatter their brains off in their nice fancy expensive cars that need to be resold, to pay off their million dollar losses after bankruptcy. It either scars them off or they get really interested on the stories I have to tell them and they are a lot.

You can make millions in anything that you want to do IF you have the will power and the drive to do so. And I can tell you that I retired in my early 40's and tell people back than and now to go fuck yourselves. You want to be rich and not put the time in, you can go and kiss my old hairy ass because I'm not helping ya.

If you are good with your hands and you got an idea to make it happen you can be rich. You are referred as a Blue Collar Millionaire. And be proud of that because you made it by working with your hands. Also the Blue Collar Millionaires I associate with are pretty damn easy going. They can/need to be assholes in business but they can gear down and shoot the breeze with you over dinner and a beer. And if they don't tell them to fuck off as well.

That is the life style you want. To be free of the rat race. Anyone can do it, but they must want it. Again you MUST want it.

You are a fucking genius and I am glad to have your perspective on this thread.

I almost bought a mortuary a few years ago, the owner died and his family decided to walk away from it. Solid financials, full set of equipment that's highly reliable and requires almost no maintenance, no lack of clients, lots of opportunity for upselling and commissions. Perfect location near multiple cemeteries and mass transit. Then there are these rare situations that arise where someone dies with no heir and you get involved in the estate early, opportunities to buy real property before it goes to auction. The former owner made a fortune just being on top of that side of the business.

Did not pull the trigger because I didn't want to be surrounded by death. The seller - offspring that worked there for 20 years - was inheriting a 9-figure share of the estate before the sale but seemed absolutely morbid. I met with him, asked him his plans for the future. He wanted more time for his hobby in taxidermy.

Feels like I passed up a good deal. We don't know exactly what will happen with corona virus except that a) there will be of opportunities for anyone who wants to build a business and b) there will be breakdowns in the healthcare system that require common sense solutions to address. It's good to be weary of risks that will be coming, but no one should be averse to pursuing financial interests.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Free hugs for the chinamen!
Remarkable how poorly this aged in just a single month.

This really reminds me of a smug video that was all about how Brussels was super safe (a random payphone ringing in central Brussels and when people answer it a voice asks them if they feel safe there, if they think they need guns, etc., everyone laughing that they don't see any terrorists and feel completely safe - released about two weeks before Brussels airport got bombed). I'm sure it had the same music and everything. I'll see if I can dig it up.

Who's behind these abysmally aging smug videos?

 

[Xenomorph]

Is that a hickey?