Jerry Peet / Lily Orchard / Lily Peet / Valkyrstudios / Bhaalspawn / Tara Callie / "Mod Ebara" - Sociopath writer of pedophile fanfiction and cartoon reviews, faked getting raped to force a divorce, then mobbed and gaslit their ex off Tumblr, satanist neoliberal of the MovieSlob variety, also wants to fuck dogs and/or pokemon

[Son Goku Baku]

Because nothing say "I'm sure this time they give me lesbians!" like constantly supporting the company that has only made one gay kiss purely to have it eliminated whenever someone else wanted.

I incline too to "complain about lack of pussy licking". I'm starting to think the only reason Liliana keeps chosing material that is obviously going to dissapoint her is because it gives her content. That is the problem when you make being angry your "brand", that even when you speak positively you first need to speak negatively and do it even more to the point any positive is practically buried.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

Well since Lily hates surprising people, or to stop people from guessing in the asks she already posted what grade she gave the show to spite some random anon.

I know all her fans don't cling to her Tumblr but I mean...come on dog. She does this same thing with her fanfiction, she spoils all the important bits weeks ahead of time just to make people stop speculating, a clear desire for authority. She would not do well with a show of her own.

 

[Armored Hero Fanfic]

She would not do well with a show of her own.

That would recquire her to have an original thought in her head

 

[Private Pyle]

Because nothing say "I'm sure this time they give me lesbians!" like constantly supporting the company that has only made one gay kiss purely to have it eliminated whenever someone else wanted.

I’m convinced at this point Lily is only sticking by Disney out of sheer contrarianism. She shat on a gay wedding between two female presenting characters yet praised Frozen II for making Elsa a “U Haul lesbian” (read: Elsa had a platonic conversation with a female character for one scene).
Granted, dick riding a big corporation to own the haters is a depressingly common move on social media.

 

[Cure Milquetoast]

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Well since Lily hates surprising people, or to stop people from guessing in the asks she already posted what grade she gave the show to spite some random anon.

I know all her fans don't cling to her Tumblr but I mean...come on dog. She does this same thing with her fanfiction, she spoils all the important bits weeks ahead of time just to make people stop speculating, a clear desire for authority. She would not do well with a show of her own.

Why does he even produce content if he's going to immediately reveal everything? It's so counterproductive. It's not so hard to say "Guess you'll find out!".

 

[InfinityBuster]

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr

Let’s be real shit sack. You only want Bisexuality to be the standard, and you only support it, because of the gay half don’t you? Homophobia and Heterophobia are at equal odds of happening, and you...

lily-orchard.tumblr.com

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr

I'm so confused as to why people are so mad at you for a joke. Especially when heterosexual have literally been killing LGBT+ people for FUCKING YEARS😒 Straight people are mad

lily-orchard.tumblr.com

More of Lily's blatant heterophoia.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr

Let’s be real shit sack. You only want Bisexuality to be the standard, and you only support it, because of the gay half don’t you? Homophobia and Heterophobia are at equal odds of happening, and you...

lily-orchard.tumblr.com

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr

I'm so confused as to why people are so mad at you for a joke. Especially when heterosexual have literally been killing LGBT+ people for FUCKING YEARS😒 Straight people are mad

lily-orchard.tumblr.com

More of Lily's blatant heterophoia.

I never heard of straight killing LGBT people. Maybe that's just my ignorance but still Lily's fans are just rude and stupid as she is.

I hate when people like Lily constantly complain about homophobia, heterophobia, etc. It's all pointless if you ask me.

 

[Nauseated Courgi]

I never heard of straight killing LGBT people. Maybe that's just my ignorance but still Lily's fans are just rude and stupid as she is.

I hate when people like Lily constantly complain about homophobia, heterophobia, etc. It's all pointless if you ask me.

There have been LGBT people that were killed in the past, but it's been years since that's been a common practice in the US, especially in Canada (although, I'm not knowledgeable of their history with them). Nowadays, people like Lily won't shut up about how great LGBT people are and that you're some variant of "-ist" if you say otherwise to the point it gets on most people's nerves.

 

[One Man Bland]

Bonus: Lily makes D&D boring for anyone that isn't a fighter
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Spoiler: And Then on to D&D

So as someone with D&D as a hobby, you can only imagine my contempt for everything lily says about D&D
And with all do respect, shifty. There is so much more you missed in this.

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr, Bard: * exists * Lily: So ... you hav…

archived 16 Mar 2020 23:03:28 UTC

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Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr, I can see how your experience could b…

archived 17 Mar 2020 21:17:02 UTC

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The "I will fuck everything that moves" bard isn't actually as common as one would believe and people doing the "I role to seduce the dragon" is usually being done as a joke, a sign of bad roleplaying or someone deeply misunderstanding the situation, and usually those kind of players are disliked by the D&D community themselves or at the very least in the context of "bro take the game seriously or fuck off"

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr, What do you think of the Bard? Would …

archived 17 Mar 2020 22:31:14 UTC

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The fact that lily can only think in terms of comparisons to World of Warcraft is telling you she doesn't give a shit about anything relevant to D&D.
The Bard in D&D is referred to as a "Full caster" they have just as much spell casting capability as a druid, a wizard, or a cleric. Yes. They are a "jack of all trades" meaning the amount of skills they get is absurd, and they're good at most things but they're only -great- at a few things and those few things are what the player leans into.
Also gotta love lily that whole "you can't play this class unless your good at the thing this class is most associated with"

Lily has one shit experience with D&D and suddenly decides she knows everything.

I think Orchard misunderstands how to play a bard. Bards are, for the most part, a purely support class. They’re a Jack if All Trades because they’re primary job isn’t to replace any one class, but to be able to assist every class in doing what they do best; whether it being a distraction or partner to help the rogue be sneakier, give their fighters an extra boost, or cover the weaknesses when someone needs to make an ability check or save. After all, when a bard performs, their songs are never about the bard themselves, but the heroes that are being recounted in the song.

And honestly if I had to choose between the two to play with, I’d probably go for the meme-lording/gimmick bard who tries to seduce a dragon over Orchard any day of the year. The bard player might try to beat a dead horse one two many times or can’t come up with a witty comeback right on the spot, but in my experience they usually learn pretty fast when it’s getting old and they are at the very least trying to have fun and/or have a good sense of humor about themselves. Just from these posts I get the feeling Orchard is that player who only plays the 3edgy5me rogues who thinks being an asshole to the party under the guise of "being in character" (and if that really specific one about the skeleton cave is anything to go by, a really bad meta-gamer) and I’m willing to bet the one who throws massive bitch-fits over unlucky rolls or encounters anything that doesn’t make their character the center of the universe or keeps them from looking like the most competent person in the room. I don’t even want to think about what Orchard would be like as a DM, since the trick to being a good DM is having enough foresight to know that players aren’t always going to take the approach you think is the most obvious, and enough quick-thinking to come up with something for the possibilities you didn’t think of. Orchard is so controlling that I’m pretty sure their idea of a campaign would be so railroaded that they’d be pulling "anti-everything shield" tier nonsense out the wazoo - especially when you look at their fanfics.

 

[Suck the Cock]

I think Orchard misunderstands how to play a bard. Bards are, for the most part, a purely support class. They’re a Jack if All Trades because they’re primary job isn’t to replace any one class, but to be able to assist every class in doing what they do best; whether it being a distraction or partner to help the rogue be sneakier, give their fighters an extra boost, or cover the weaknesses when someone needs to make an ability check or save. After all, when a bard performs, their songs are never about the bard themselves, but the heroes that are being recounted in the song.

And honestly if I had to choose between the two to play with, I’d probably go for the meme-lording/gimmick bard who tries to seduce a dragon over Orchard any day of the year. The bard player might try to beat a dead horse one two many times or can’t come up with a witty comeback right on the spot, but in my experience they usually learn pretty fast when it’s getting old and they are at the very least trying to have fun and/or have a good sense of humor about themselves. Just from these posts I get the feeling Orchard is that player who only plays the 3edgy5me rogues who thinks being an asshole to the party under the guise of "being in character" (and if that really specific one about the skeleton cave is anything to go by, a really bad meta-gamer) and I’m willing to bet the one who throws massive bitch-fits over unlucky rolls or encounters anything that doesn’t make their character the center of the universe or keeps them from looking like the most competent person in the room. I don’t even want to think about what Orchard would be like as a DM, since the trick to being a good DM is having enough foresight to know that players aren’t always going to take the approach you think is the most obvious, and enough quick-thinking to come up with something for the possibilities you didn’t think of. Orchard is so controlling that I’m pretty sure their idea of a campaign would be so railroaded that they’d be pulling "anti-everything shield" tier nonsense out the wazoo - especially when you look at their fanfics.

You're giving Jerry too much credit. Assuming, for a moment, that Jerry could ever bring himself to play a roleplaying game that wasn't just more of his "girlfriends" repeatedly praising him, he still wouldn't handle it like any generic idiot. He wouldn't just settle for being an edgy rogue, he'd be an edgy lesbian rogue who hits on everything and demands there be an NPC who is immensely devoted to them and if there's any chance any of them being in any sort of danger he'll leave the game and say the DM is obsessed with grimdark edginess. And then interrupt everyone else's roleplaying with descriptions of how in love he is and all the lesbian sex they're having. While criticising everyone else, like a Bard who doesn't metagame.

If he was DM he'd just rip off whatever Disney franchise is popular and expect you to have a prepared response to every setpiece because he's a hack.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

I think Orchard misunderstands how to play a bard. Bards are, for the most part, a purely support class. They’re a Jack if All Trades because they’re primary job isn’t to replace any one class, but to be able to assist every class in doing what they do best; whether it being a distraction or partner to help the rogue be sneakier, give their fighters an extra boost, or cover the weaknesses when someone needs to make an ability check or save. After all, when a bard performs, their songs are never about the bard themselves, but the heroes that are being recounted in the song.

And honestly if I had to choose between the two to play with, I’d probably go for the meme-lording/gimmick bard who tries to seduce a dragon over Orchard any day of the year. The bard player might try to beat a dead horse one two many times or can’t come up with a witty comeback right on the spot, but in my experience they usually learn pretty fast when it’s getting old and they are at the very least trying to have fun and/or have a good sense of humor about themselves. Just from these posts I get the feeling Orchard is that player who only plays the 3edgy5me rogues who thinks being an asshole to the party under the guise of "being in character" (and if that really specific one about the skeleton cave is anything to go by, a really bad meta-gamer) and I’m willing to bet the one who throws massive bitch-fits over unlucky rolls or encounters anything that doesn’t make their character the center of the universe or keeps them from looking like the most competent person in the room. I don’t even want to think about what Orchard would be like as a DM, since the trick to being a good DM is having enough foresight to know that players aren’t always going to take the approach you think is the most obvious, and enough quick-thinking to come up with something for the possibilities you didn’t think of. Orchard is so controlling that I’m pretty sure their idea of a campaign would be so railroaded that they’d be pulling "anti-everything shield" tier nonsense out the wazoo - especially when you look at their fanfics.

Oh God, I played a game of D&D with a guy who made his character a half-elf, and every fuckin time we'd run into a human he'd be a prick to them and make everything worse, every encounter he'd turn into an ordeal because he just had to antagonize someone for no reason. Even other players. I can see Lily doing that every chance she gets.

Anyway I wanna pose a question, Lily is playing D&D, she and her friends are sitting in a tavern plotting to burn a nunnery down or something, when all of a sudden a big barbarian shows up and says they're in his seat. The bartender is right behind him and urges them to get up.

What does our hero do?

 

[ActuallyAutistic]

I think Orchard misunderstands how to play a bard. Bards are, for the most part, a purely support class. They’re a Jack if All Trades because they’re primary job isn’t to replace any one class, but to be able to assist every class in doing what they do best; whether it being a distraction or partner to help the rogue be sneakier, give their fighters an extra boost, or cover the weaknesses when someone needs to make an ability check or save. After all, when a bard performs, their songs are never about the bard themselves, but the heroes that are being recounted in the song.

And honestly if I had to choose between the two to play with, I’d probably go for the meme-lording/gimmick bard who tries to seduce a dragon over Orchard any day of the year. The bard player might try to beat a dead horse one two many times or can’t come up with a witty comeback right on the spot, but in my experience they usually learn pretty fast when it’s getting old and they are at the very least trying to have fun and/or have a good sense of humor about themselves. Just from these posts I get the feeling Orchard is that player who only plays the 3edgy5me rogues who thinks being an asshole to the party under the guise of "being in character" (and if that really specific one about the skeleton cave is anything to go by, a really bad meta-gamer) and I’m willing to bet the one who throws massive bitch-fits over unlucky rolls or encounters anything that doesn’t make their character the center of the universe or keeps them from looking like the most competent person in the room. I don’t even want to think about what Orchard would be like as a DM, since the trick to being a good DM is having enough foresight to know that players aren’t always going to take the approach you think is the most obvious, and enough quick-thinking to come up with something for the possibilities you didn’t think of. Orchard is so controlling that I’m pretty sure their idea of a campaign would be so railroaded that they’d be pulling "anti-everything shield" tier nonsense out the wazoo - especially when you look at their fanfics.

Oh, fucking joy. Now Jerry's shitting on DnD again because he had a bad session with a bard. This is top notch, honestly.
Guess I'll have to break things down again.
So according to Orchard, the bard is responsible for getting them run out of town. While I'm not completely doubting it (Never underestimate player stupidity- and I say that lightheartedly) it's extremely unlikely that they were solely the one responsible unless they did something incredibly stupid like "I shoot the guard in broad daylight with my crossbow." or some other such nonsense. As someone who's had to deal with shit players, (Had a thatguy Rogue who killed someone in their home and was shocked to find he was getting arrested for it.) you have to honestly try to get your party kicked out of a town. So, even if we assume that the bard did something incredibly stupid and got them ran out by an angry mob, Orchard continues and says that they are then led to a spooky skeleton cave full of mutated shit. Which leads me to believe that getting run out of town was likely a story point as opposed to something the Bard did, given that it's not just a bear cave or a cave full of goblins or whatever. It's some freaky magic shit, which implies that it's pretty important or that they happened across it by sheer dumb luck. But that's not all, because apparently the bard goes in and says that there's some freaky magic shit going on in there. What kind of magic? If they're using Detect Magic then it should be identified by what school of magic. (likely necromancy but it also could be some freaky Transmutation stuff going on too) And yet despite the fact that there's some freaky magic shit going on we get no further elaboration as to what it is, leading to one of two possibilities:
1. The place they ended up at was actually important to the story so he left it out in order to piss and moan about how bards are ruining the game or:
2. He's pulling this story out of his ass and keeps things intentionally vague because if he got into specifics he know's he'll be called on it in an instant.

 

[One Man Bland]

Oh, fucking joy. Now Jerry's shitting on DnD again because he had a bad session with a bard. This is top notch, honestly.
Guess I'll have to break things down again.
So according to Orchard, the bard is responsible for getting them run out of town. While I'm not completely doubting it (Never underestimate player stupidity- and I say that lightheartedly) it's extremely unlikely that they were solely the one responsible unless they did something incredibly stupid like "I shoot the guard in broad daylight with my crossbow." or some other such nonsense. As someone who's had to deal with shit players, (Had a thatguy Rogue who killed someone in their home and was shocked to find he was getting arrested for it.) you have to honestly try to get your party kicked out of a town. So, even if we assume that the bard did something incredibly stupid and got them ran out by an angry mob, Orchard continues and says that they are then led to a spooky skeleton cave full of mutated shit. Which leads me to believe that getting run out of town was likely a story point as opposed to something the Bard did, given that it's not just a bear cave or a cave full of goblins or whatever. It's some freaky magic shit, which implies that it's pretty important or that they happened across it by sheer dumb luck. But that's not all, because apparently the bard goes in and says that there's some freaky magic shit going on in there. What kind of magic? If they're using Detect Magic then it should be identified by what school of magic. (likely necromancy but it also could be some freaky Transmutation stuff going on too) And yet despite the fact that there's some freaky magic shit going on we get no further elaboration as to what it is, leading to one of two possibilities:
1. The place they ended up at was actually important to the story so he left it out in order to piss and moan about how bards are ruining the game or:
2. He's pulling this story out of his ass and keeps things intentionally vague because if he got into specifics he know's he'll be called on it in an instant.

I’m not sure the angry mob and the cave are connected since there’s not a whole lot of detail, but I agree that there’s probably way more to the angry mob part than what Orchard lets on. Namely because of how he suggested murdering a party member as their first solution - and it doesn’t sound like it was a good natured joke or “no hard feelings” role play either. Even if the bard fucked up spectacularly and got a Crit Fail on every single persuasion/diplomacy roll, there’s kind of an unspoken rule that that’s poor tabletop etiquette.

My best guess without any prompting is that the “run out of town” thing could’ve been part of a plot hook like you suggested, or just part of the bard’s backstory. Only other option I could see is that it was some seedy Resident Evil 4-esque town that already had a hostile populace that wouldn’t have been easily persuaded anyways (might explain the mutated cave if that was nearby) which is funny since that would mean that the DM implemented an “immune to persuasion” rule in that instance and Orchard fucking hated it.

The cave meanwhile seems like a typical adventure setup, and without more context it just sounds like the bard was just going in the direction that seemed to be where the plot is and playing as someone a little optimistic or oblivious. I can’t say for certain without knowing what the bard said exactly, so for all I know the bard player was being tongue and cheek when they said “I’m sure nothing will go wrong.”

Either way I get some serious murder-hobo vibes from Orchard. I doubt he’s all that popular with the rest of the party.

 

[Son Goku Baku]

For all I have seen of Liliana on this almost 700 pages thread I've gathered that she is a spiteful petty bitch that will slander you and hate you for all eternity for the smallest of things, wether intentional or not, so I'm biased to believe the bard was just having fun, did nothing wrong and Liliana didn't liked that so now they are the most stupid player in the world, their class is stupid anyway and the game is bad.

That is how she react to everything that is either slighty challenging for her, she doesn't understand or doesn't like for any arbitrary reasons. Instead of ever being "not my thing", she just goes to declare it the worst thing ever and bash it every chance she gets with any stupid argument. She did the same with videogames, so shouldn't come as any surprise she will do something similar when she ISN'T the only player and has to do teamwork in order to win. Liliana is terrible working with people.

 

[Ben Laden]

You know that one meme about the Tumblrina joing a DnD group because she saw it on Stranger Things or something, asks the party to change the rules, and cries oppression when the party refuses to bend to their will for not understanding how the game is played and what makes it fun because they're just hopping on a fad?

Why can I just picture that being Lily? Someone who has no clue why DnD is supposed to be fun and ruining the fun for everyone else in the process by bitching and moaning the entire time about a bard.

 

[Lurkio]

You know that one meme about the Tumblrina joing a DnD group because she saw it on Stranger Things or something, asks the party to change the rules, and cries oppression when the party refuses to bend to their will for not understanding how the game is played and what makes it fun because they're just hopping on a fad?

Why can I just picture that being Lily? Someone who has no clue why DnD is supposed to be fun and ruining the fun for everyone else in the process by bitching and moaning the entire time about a bard.

It wouldn't shock me if Lily ended up being someone who wouldn't grasp the fact that your character in a tabletop isn't the "Main Character" of the universe. Oh sure, they're a hero in most D&D settings, but the world isn't going to revolve around them and bend to their will to make sure everything goes in there favor. There's going to be screw ups (sometime quite frequently), mistakes, and your enemies might occasionally get one over on ya. We all know Lily has trouble separating fiction from reality and gets really attached to her OC's, I wounder if she'd accuse the DM of being "shit" because a situation didn't unfold the way she wanted to for her character due to a few bad dice rolls. I know it sounds stupid but I have been at tables where people have insulted fellow players, as in the person not the character, for having bad luck with dice rolls, so I wouldn't put it past Lily in this case. Thankfully most DM's I've played with had little to no tolerance for that, maybe that's why Lily had a bad time, she ended up playing with some rando's who didn't give a shit about who she was and didn't bow to her every will.

I do kinda want to see Lily DM for a group of people she never meet before, if only because I know it would be a beautiful train wreak.

 

[The Fresh Maker]

Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr, Recently saw a YouTuber who makes inc…

archived 17 Mar 2020 21:27:05 UTC

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Lily Orchard's Official Tumblr, The Name is Cartoonshi シ (With that f…

archived 17 Mar 2020 21:27:16 UTC

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In case anyone was curious.

Cartoonshi Does a QNA

THIS VIDEO IS NOT DIRECTED AT CHILDREN. THIS VIDEO IS FOR TEENS AND ADULTS ONLY. Thanks for submitting your questions! Twitter - https://twitter.com/cartoons...

www.youtube.com

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This idiot is as much of a nitpicker as Lily Orchard. He takes direct inspiration from Mauler (one of the most pretentious youtubers riding on m-ilking the Star Wars sequel trilogy for all it's worth) and in spite of him saying otherwise, a lot of his opinions on Steven Universe are identical to Lily's.

 

[unsure on how to proceed]

It seems we have found the anti Lily.

This idiot is as much of a nitpicker as Lily Orchard. He takes direct inspiration from Mauler (one of the most pretentious youtubers riding on m-ilking the Star Wars sequel trilogy for all it's worth) and in spite of him saying otherwise, a lot of his opinions on Steven Universe are identical to Lily's.

Spoiler: The only logical answer

And tism

Tards will be tards no matter where they stand.

 

[Devil-Man]

YouTube

www.youtube.com

Blame coronavirus.

 

[SubarashiiRage]

YouTube

www.youtube.com

Blame coronavirus.

I always find the chats of these streams hilarious, the types of people that Liy attracted with their content is her reflection
so cool that she can give a safespace to her people