It was only a given considering even Tumblr kinnies are calling her out for faking. Like someone said, people have been waiting for this.
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Snowflake Chloe Wilkinson / DissociaDID and Nanette Zuniga / Nan / TeamPinata
- Thread starter comrade666
- Start date
My answer is about the same as others. I’ve lurked on KF threads for, I don’t know, maybe six months now or so after discovering it. A couple of threads more active lurking, and sometimes just popping in on one to check out after someone randomly came on my radar who seemed ridiculous and I was just curious about the gossip. But I never made an account or contributed before, I was pretty much content just to lurk.
With Chloe, she ended up in my Recommended maybe five months back. I watched a few of her videos and, I admit, I found them intriguing at least. I studied psych at the undergrad level and am just personally interested in psych topics in general. Largely, I’m sure, one reason she landed in my Recs in the first place. She was interesting but I pretty quickly decided, “Eh, I don’t know, maybe she’s legit but most likely just another young, pretty girl making a brand and a YouTube career.” And moved on.
Then a couple of months after that Team Piñata started popping up in my Recs. So I watched some of hers. Now, Nan, to me, was a far more interesting channel to watch from a curiosity, psych interest or empathy level. And her videos naturally led me right back to Chloe’s channel. I’ve seen several people say they thought Nan was more likely faking than Chloe. But I saw it exactly the opposite. I don’t know that Nan has DID, hell, I’m one of those strongly skeptical of its existence in the first place. But there is still clearly something very with Nan. She also has a diagnosis of BPD which seems almost undeniable. In any case, you don’t end up with an entire arm covered in deep scars from repeated, serious self injury if you’re mentally healthy. She also has made a few videos from within psych wards and continues to self harm, if not quite as viscously, because she still makes videos with new, visible cuts.
Anyway! I was a bit sucked in after all this and was beginning to be, just, a total believer but I had doubts. Then more doubts, then tried to hunt around for forums where others were discussing it. KF first and then just Googling, but there wasn’t much to see except some older, short threads on Reddit. Then the big Padilla interview, the Trish drama, and there we go. It finally brought enough attention people started making and contributing to threads on various sites. It’s like a bomb went off and I, like others I’ve seen went, “Fucking finally.” I think the Padilla interview, while she thought it was going to be a huge boon for her and her career, backfired all to hell and she probably deeply regrets ever doing it. And, no, not because it was “triggering.”
So, yeah, I guess I’m just here because I had a lot on my chest about her and the online DID bullshit community and finally there was a spot to rant it out.
A Detachable Penis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2018
I've heard all of... two maybe legitimate cases. Common trend? 2-3 alters. One who protec. One who embodies the vulnerable child. And then the actual person. That's it. Even then, they werent distinct entities magically floating around in a mansion-brain - the person acts drastically different and has gaps in memory.
Anyway, fakers so fake it hurts.
Anyway, fakers so fake it hurts.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2017
In her new video she very specifically mentions or does things that medical professional skeptics of the Malingering DID YouTube community have pointed out that she and the others have wrong with their portrayals of DID - she is definitely trying to rebrand to be more believable, and we will see more deletions coming. I went AFK and when I came back YouTube autoplay had brought me to one of her livestreams where someone in her chat was celebrating her own new diagnosis, thanking Chloe for helping her get it and Chloe said to her: "Congratulations!"
Imagine congratulating someone for being diagnosed with one of the most debilitating and hard to treat mental illnesses.
The funny thing is that I purchased one of the books in the stack in the shelf on the right on Amazon and I'm not kidding you every other book in the stack was in the suggestions to purchase next.
Tell me again about the middle-aged anorexic Asian man you watched on TV as a child, Chloe.
Imagine congratulating someone for being diagnosed with one of the most debilitating and hard to treat mental illnesses.
The funny thing is that I purchased one of the books in the stack in the shelf on the right on Amazon and I'm not kidding you every other book in the stack was in the suggestions to purchase next.
Tell me again about the middle-aged anorexic Asian man you watched on TV as a child, Chloe.
leadhanded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Just in case she deletes and/or unlists videos (again) I backed a few of them up (I tried to upload files but I had issues with the "Meet The Girls" videos so I just opted to instead back them up on outside sites). I decided to back up some that I found interesting or particularly lulzy rather than just the ones that were previously lost earlier today. This is my first post so obligatory sorry for any formatting issues and shitty video quality.
ORIGINAL VIDEO:
WAYBACK ARCHIVE//SENDVID (Man, watching some of this video again I can firmly say the "sexual" alters these people have are my least favorite. They are so uncomfortable to watch... still not as bad as Autumn Asphrodel's though-- ugh, I shudder at the thought)
ORIGINAL VIDEO:
WAYBACK ARCHIVE//SENDVID as an added bonus, this is for the masochists who enjoy Nan's voice/vocal fry/"Canadian" accent: ORIGINAL VIDEO
Contains 7 of Chloe's/Nin's videos:
PERSECUTORS - "EVIL" Personalities? | All About Alters Ep: 6 | Dissociative Identity Disorder Sep 15, 2019
HATE. DRAWING THE LINE. | Jade | Dissociative Identity Disorder Jan 12, 2020
CHILD & NON-HUMAN DYSPHORIA?! Dysphoric Alters! | Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) Jun 23, 2019
WE BECOME LITTLES? Age Sliding! | Dissociative Identity Disorder Jun 30, 2019
DAMAGING TO DID: 'SPLIT' AND 'GLASS' | DID IN THE MEDIA | Dissociative Identity Disorder Sep 30, 2018
Our Littles | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Switch On Camera Sep 6, 2018
TERMINOLOGY AND LINGO: Key Words For Dissociative Identity Disorder | Debunking DID Ep: 6 Jul 29, 2018
WAYBACK ARCHIVE
PERSECUTORS - "EVIL" Personalities? | All About Alters Ep: 6 | Dissociative Identity Disorder Sep 15, 2019
HATE. DRAWING THE LINE. | Jade | Dissociative Identity Disorder Jan 12, 2020
CHILD & NON-HUMAN DYSPHORIA?! Dysphoric Alters! | Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) Jun 23, 2019
WE BECOME LITTLES? Age Sliding! | Dissociative Identity Disorder Jun 30, 2019
DAMAGING TO DID: 'SPLIT' AND 'GLASS' | DID IN THE MEDIA | Dissociative Identity Disorder Sep 30, 2018
Our Littles | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Switch On Camera Sep 6, 2018
TERMINOLOGY AND LINGO: Key Words For Dissociative Identity Disorder | Debunking DID Ep: 6 Jul 29, 2018
WAYBACK ARCHIVE
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hey OP, i made an account just to reply to your post so please hear me out with an open mind. i've been watching the two afore mentioned channels for a while now because i myself have DID (diagnosed by a medical professional) and related a lot to these systems. I'm making this post simply to explain how a lot of DID can seem like bullshit and I therefore understand why systems face criticism. Trust me, even i myself don't buy my own disorder sometimes because it makes no sense surface level but ends up being hugely beneficial and adds up as i better understand my system. okay, now to the point...
-alters seem like OCs because they are. when alters are originally created during trauma, they are created by the mind of the child. which is why alters can sometimes be pretty far out there. a child might think that if they were a dragon, they'd be able to fight off their abusers. or wish that they could disappear and then you get an invisible alter. kids have crazy imaginations and though they don't intentionally form alters, DID picks up on what makes them feel safer and what gets them through the trauma.
- littles exists for a multitude of reason. maybe another kid to sub for the one being abused, a kid to give the mind a break, etc. I have a 6 year-old alter who basically took over my childhood as kid. her taking over gave my mind a mental break. try to see it like being constantly afraid, never relaxing, always feeling shitty. that's a lot of stress as a kid and there is no break. your mind is constantly in overdrive. except for when this alter is out. she colors, she naps, she does kid shit and having that break keeps you together. and it can work the other way around, there could be a kid who gets the shit beat out of them but all you remember is happy playtime during your childhood.
-alters can sometimes finish each other's train of thought depending on relationships between alters or amnesia walls. so, the best way i can explain it is that you have a group of friends and you all live in different states. your closest friends decide to stay close to you so the cell phone reception is better. they're still in another state but because you've remained close, you stay in touch. friends who live far because they don't give a shit about you anymore don't really have great reception and don't call much anyways. Basically, because me and one of my alters (let's call him Dan) are close and know each other well, we have better communication. we also communicate well because we don't have any amnesia walls between us, which means there is nothing Dan has to keep hidden from me. we have the same memory timeline and therefor can communicate well. if we do have amnesia it's minor. I can remember that Dan went to the store for eggs and butter but i might not remember him buying bread. Amnesia can work the other way too. let's say another one of my alters is called Alex. Alex took a lot of abuse for me and i remember none of what they remember and likely never will. the only way i know that something happened to Alex is because they show signs of PTSD just as I do and i was also co-concious with them during a flashback which means i experienced the flashback as well. However, it made no sense to me because i don't remember anything like that ever
happening. Alex remembers all that happened to them but an amnesia wall keeps them from talking about it in a way that exposes me to it. meaning, when Alex is out, an Amnesia wall blocks the memory of their abuse and Alex can't remember the details of it and therefore can't talk about it in detail, which stops me from from finding out. i know Alex endured abuse but i'll probably never know what that abuse is because my brain is actively trying to prevent me from knowing. there are also alters who manipulate amnesia walls and whenever i do catch wind of anything, it is then erased until the memory is jogged again which could happen 10yrs from now or never lol
ok, sorry this became so long, I tend to ramble so i'm going to cut it here. this information is really only the tip of the iceberg. to tell you about amnesia walls, i'd then have to tell you about gatekeepers, and trauma holders and blah blah blah. my point is, DID is SUCH a complex disorder and the alters and the disorder it's self have so many layers. what seems like one thing from the outside might be something completely different on the inside. it might be cringe or bullshit to one person but that same thing could be what saved a person's life. no hate, just a different perspective. i'm not trying to defend anyone, i'm just trying to spread information and my insider experience. i'm open to any questions.
-alters seem like OCs because they are. when alters are originally created during trauma, they are created by the mind of the child. which is why alters can sometimes be pretty far out there. a child might think that if they were a dragon, they'd be able to fight off their abusers. or wish that they could disappear and then you get an invisible alter. kids have crazy imaginations and though they don't intentionally form alters, DID picks up on what makes them feel safer and what gets them through the trauma.
- littles exists for a multitude of reason. maybe another kid to sub for the one being abused, a kid to give the mind a break, etc. I have a 6 year-old alter who basically took over my childhood as kid. her taking over gave my mind a mental break. try to see it like being constantly afraid, never relaxing, always feeling shitty. that's a lot of stress as a kid and there is no break. your mind is constantly in overdrive. except for when this alter is out. she colors, she naps, she does kid shit and having that break keeps you together. and it can work the other way around, there could be a kid who gets the shit beat out of them but all you remember is happy playtime during your childhood.
-alters can sometimes finish each other's train of thought depending on relationships between alters or amnesia walls. so, the best way i can explain it is that you have a group of friends and you all live in different states. your closest friends decide to stay close to you so the cell phone reception is better. they're still in another state but because you've remained close, you stay in touch. friends who live far because they don't give a shit about you anymore don't really have great reception and don't call much anyways. Basically, because me and one of my alters (let's call him Dan) are close and know each other well, we have better communication. we also communicate well because we don't have any amnesia walls between us, which means there is nothing Dan has to keep hidden from me. we have the same memory timeline and therefor can communicate well. if we do have amnesia it's minor. I can remember that Dan went to the store for eggs and butter but i might not remember him buying bread. Amnesia can work the other way too. let's say another one of my alters is called Alex. Alex took a lot of abuse for me and i remember none of what they remember and likely never will. the only way i know that something happened to Alex is because they show signs of PTSD just as I do and i was also co-concious with them during a flashback which means i experienced the flashback as well. However, it made no sense to me because i don't remember anything like that ever
happening. Alex remembers all that happened to them but an amnesia wall keeps them from talking about it in a way that exposes me to it. meaning, when Alex is out, an Amnesia wall blocks the memory of their abuse and Alex can't remember the details of it and therefore can't talk about it in detail, which stops me from from finding out. i know Alex endured abuse but i'll probably never know what that abuse is because my brain is actively trying to prevent me from knowing. there are also alters who manipulate amnesia walls and whenever i do catch wind of anything, it is then erased until the memory is jogged again which could happen 10yrs from now or never lol
ok, sorry this became so long, I tend to ramble so i'm going to cut it here. this information is really only the tip of the iceberg. to tell you about amnesia walls, i'd then have to tell you about gatekeepers, and trauma holders and blah blah blah. my point is, DID is SUCH a complex disorder and the alters and the disorder it's self have so many layers. what seems like one thing from the outside might be something completely different on the inside. it might be cringe or bullshit to one person but that same thing could be what saved a person's life. no hate, just a different perspective. i'm not trying to defend anyone, i'm just trying to spread information and my insider experience. i'm open to any questions.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2016
Ya came to the wrong forum, I ain't readin all that shit.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2020
I've known about this place for a long ass time but I've only lurked. I made an account to share the Tumblr Archive feature and since then I've figured why not just join in on this conversation more than just that.
And like other people have said I was waiting for a thread on her.
Btw, does anyone else think it's ridiculously funny that they're now called "Nan" and "Nin"
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People are criticising Chloe's depiction of DID rather than the disorder itself.
leadhanded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Not OP but since I'm on I'll throw in my two cents on this. The reason why Chloe is receiving criticism isn't because we necessarily believe DID is some made-up disorder (some may but I'm quite sure OP never said he thought DID was fake, only that Chloe was faking her DID). I personally don't doubt the existence of some sort of dissociative disorder that fucks with a person's memory and personality, that's all fine and dandy, but Chloe really does seem to be hamming it up for views along with having a rather inconsistent story. That and her outrageous reactions to drama, especially this whole Trisha Paytas situation-- I get that she has trauma but c'mon seriously Trisha-fucking-Paytas made you split and form a new alter that's fucking bonkers mate I can't imagine being that sensitive. It's a bit (read: very) ridiculous. So just to clarify in case you had any misconceptions, we aren't making fun of Chloe because DID doesn't exist we're mocking her because many of us believe she is either faking, being extremely melodramatic, hamming up whatever mental issues she has for views (I mean the tugboat is important to her obviously), or all of the above.
Also, just so you know, don't power level. Don't share more than you need to-- so you don't need to share personal anecdotes, okay? Seriously, it will just end up embarrassing you.
DID is recognized as a real disorder. please check out the DSM-5, it's included in there. I am personally part of a system (terminology for a group of alters) and switches simply aren't that cookie cutter. people 9/10 experience full blackout when they are unaware of their system or have little to no relationship with their alters. blackouts become lesser as you grow aware of your alters and begin the path to establishing healthy relationships with them which leads to intergration (alters coming together to form one singular personality). when I was a child and endured abuse i of course had no clue that i had alters but now that i am an adult and am now on stable ground, memories are slowly available to me and even still the worst shit is hidden because essentially my brain doesn't want me to know about the worst shit. that being said, when you work through shit and build strong relationships with your alters, amnesia walls gradually disappear and it does become possible to pick up where the last person left off and yes it is possible to switch at will as long as both parties are willing and the communication is good but forming that relationship takes a lot of work and time.
alters are rarely violent and when they are, they are violent to themselves or other system members. i'm not gonna sit here and say every alter is an angel because alters are people and people vary greatly but they definitely aren't off the bat violent or just made aggressive. even those who have an agressive personality are typically all bark and no bite. alters don't want to hurt people. they want to protect the host and enjoy their lives and that comes in many different shapes and forms. let's say one of my alters names is Joe. i was working a high stress job and going to school at the same time and this caused a lot of anxiety attacks and general poor mental health. it got so bad that i would dissociate (blank out) at work multiple times a day or go into a catatonic state (can't move or speak) caused by anxiety. I don't intentionally make alters. my brain sees something i can't handle and it's finds someone who CAN handle it. my brain has learned to function this way because this is what it did when i was child and endured stressful situations. i probably should have quit my job but i was irresponsible with my health and thus another alter was created. Joe specializes in work environments. he is motivated by a hard day's work, is very goal-orientated and craves structure and schedule. needless to say, Joe subbing for me at working or being co-con with Joe at work was his was of protecting my body and mind from the stress, anxiety, and depression that came with being in over my head. he also kept me from getting fired. he didn't attack my boss of yell at my coworkers, he helped in the way that he knew how and all while posing as me. that's how DID works.
you mentioned that the person with DID is typically passive and sad. true that we all suffer some sort of downer but this is not all to our personality. people are faceted. i think out of everyone in my system i am the most likely to lose my temper but this isn't tied to DID, it's just part of who i am. it's not like all the personality got sucked out of me when i split. i feel every emotion and am a full fledged person.
your statement about alters being the core person but with variations is close. think of it this way: you stem from your mother and father, their DNA is what makes you a human being but it's not what makes you you. you originate from them but how you develop and your life experiences shape who you are. do you think that because you come from other people your ARE those people? would you say that you are your parents but with slight variations? those people are obviously part of you but you might like horror movies but your mother doesn't. it's the same way with alters. they originate from me, and we do have things in common but they've experienced things that i haven't which means that they see the world differently, and develop into different people. i hope that makes sense.
i don't mean any hate with this post, just spreading information. i am happy to answer any questions. if you're wondering, i've been diagnosed by a professional (about two years ago) and have consciously lived with DID for six years now.
A Detachable Penis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2018
Edit: NVM, poster is a goddamn DID orbiter or one of the idiot youtubers themselves. No fucking doubt.
leadhanded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
That can make sense for slight variations, or even somewhat major adjustments. However, your analogy is flawed, you're parents aren't you, you aren't producing an entirely new person who has different genetic predispositions you're fractioning yourself. It's not a culmination of two it a splitting of one. Just because someone goes through trauma doesn't mean they suddenly split into a strong independent black Canadian tattoo artist transwoman who yiffs on alternating Thursdays. Even if you could create outrageous alters as a child those types of hyperspecific alters in adulthood seem more like someone is forcing themselves to act out a character. Take Nan's recent Clifford alter, he's a gruff construction worker whose an alcoholic... WHAT does that protect them from? WHY does Clifford need to exist? He doesn't! It's ridiculous! Was Nan's life getting too good and their brain decided "Y'know what mate, I think- I think I should be an alcoholic construction worker! Yes! That's the ticket"
i agree that she does use her DID in a very click-baity way and it is definitely designed to bring traffic to her channel but honestly if i had to guess i would think this is because she is a youtuber and as far as i know, youtube is how she supports herself. i wouldn't personally do it but if that's how she makes cash, it doesn't bother me. other youtubers do it all the time. flash titles and advertising new alters or intergrations also gets outsiders interested in DID which in the long run only spreads awareness especially since all her information is factually correct.
trust me, i know it seems trivial and it's definitely hyper sensitive but some systems are. Trisha mocking her could easily cause a new alter. alters protect and she's under stress and honestly downright bullying. it's this simple: if the host is overwhelmed and can't handle the cause of the stress, or the stress triggers past trauma, an alter is going to step forward. people have different levels of stress their able to take and i don't know her personally so who knows how much this actually affected her or if it relates to a bigger issue? again, not trying to defend anyone, just putting it out there.
i get that the criticism is on Chloe and not DID but the point in my post was to provide reasons why her story seems off and why it typically seems off for many systems. it can be complicated and look really stupid.
finally, i had no clue on what power leveling was (just joined) but i assure you the point in my examples was not to extract pity or gain higher ground. i honestly don't really see that stuff as personal or embarrassing since none of you will ever know me personally and felt it was relevant to explaining how DID works. i'm very example and metaphor based in my explaining naturally but i definitely didn't intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
curious about what makes her story inconsistent, maybe there is logical explanation I can provide.
leadhanded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
It's mainly discrepancies between when she was first diagnosed. Who referred her to what DID is, was it her or her therapist? What was she doing with Patreon money? Would she have really been expelled from school?
If I had to guess how you would respond it would probably be something about amnesiac walls, which sure, let's go with that. However, the story of being expelled from school and denied reentry sounds, suspicious. I assume Britain being a civilized country would more than likely have anti-discrimination laws, so that wouldn't really be plausible, and if it was Chloe would have an excellent discrimination case.
i hear you. i am not creating a a biological human being but when splits do occur it's because of a negative event. that is the foundation for that alter's personality and as they interact with others they further grow as people. like the example i used before: Because work was overwhelming Joe was created to be specifically orientated to working enviornments this was the base for his personality. as time goes on, more personality traits get tacked on. Joe prioritizes productivity so much that he obsessively plans his week to the hour, Joe in extension has a hard time dealing things not going his way, Joe gets a cat but then realizes they are messy and cannot be organized and then suddenly Joe the employee turns into Joe the employee who has a control issue and hates cats. and that's how you get the strong independent black Canadian tattoo artist transwoman who yiffs on alternating Thursdays type of alters who seems annoyingly drawn out. Joe could pick up an instrument to help balance the stress and then 'part-time bassist' is suddenly part of his trait list. i don't know why Clifford is an alcoholic construction worker and i don't see any point in it but it's possible that for their system it makes sense.
i wasn't born loving pizza, it became part of my trait list. same thing with Joe. he wasn't a employee who has a control issue and hates cats and plays bass at first but through they years of living life he has grown into his own person with his own political views, opinions, and world view. all based off of his experiences.
Bananasaurus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 12, 2017
Okay, fair enough. I can buy that. But there are two things about alters like Chloe's that make no sense whatsoever to me: First of all, I understand having an "older" protective alter or a child alter. Makes sense to me. But these people are essentially born inside of you and are unconscious most of the time, only getting to "front" every once in a while. How the fuck does someone like that get such a clear idea of time that they can confidently say they are X years old? The second issue I have with this is that they sound like people that previously used to exist outside of you and were then somehow sucked into your skull. Why do they describe their physical appearance? They all look like Chloe because they ARE a part of Cloe. Surely they must be aware of that? If you woke up tomorrow inside a petite English girl's body, I don't know how you would come to the conclusion that you are "Asian". No idea about any Asian cultures, speaks no Asian languages, but sure buddy. You're a balding Asian dude.
I find it awfully convenient that if you have TWENTY-TWO minds floating around in your skull that they are all co-conscious all the time, can all finish each other's train of thought, can be switched out at will, and you never wake up in the middle of buttfuck nowhere not knowing how you got there nor what you were doing there. Or with a buzzcut because one of your alters hated your long hair. Or with your Youtube channel deleted. Like I said before, if you have created 22 completely different personalities for the purpose of self-protection, you'd think at least one of them would want to get off a platform where people might question your trauma and be incredibly hateful towards you. Some neurotypical people get bullied off the internet, I don't want to imagine how it is like for someone who has so many mental health problems.
Hankypanko
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2020
Stop fucking sperging. You can get your opinions and concepts across without using yourself as an example.
I have to ask though, is feeding into more childish alters a healthy thing? Is it something to encourage in a clinical sense when in therapy? And by extention is it a good thing for her audience, especially those who claim to experience DID like hers, allows her to expose these child alters in the ways she does on her channel?
i don't know her whole life story but from what i've heard, her school referred her to the campus therapist and from there she sought actual medical treatment and her personal therapist suggested DID. i know that she also had a hospital stay she could have been officially diagnosed there. I believe she willingly quit school due to mental health stuff
the patreon money is to support her general living as she doesn't work due to her disorder from what i know.
if her behavior was disrupting the learning enviornment and accommodations couldn't be made for her disability, i imagine they would send her to get help. they never really expelled her but rather told her to figure her shit out and she just never came back.
take all this with a grain of salt because this is what i've gathered from her videos and other's posts in this thread.
leadhanded
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
Y'know what, fair enough. You have a good point. However, I still have an issue with the physical dysphoria people experience in regards to height, skin color, eye color, etc. How does that happen? If Joe is all of those things, how is he suddenly 6'5'' or native-American or have brown hair, how could he be a man if the host is woman, etc? How do they develop accents? That seems a bit too odd because those things are innate to a person or they take time to developed and would develop for the host as well. You cannot form height or skin color, you just have it. And accents take a long time to form.