Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aaway]

I dont know how this guy got recommended to me by youtube but this dude has a video of himself trying the sauces (and gagging on them) but he also gives you a glimpse of how Jack packages them to ship. Tip: Fuck bubble wrap or even individually wrapping, that shit is too rich and too much effort for Boomer Jack's blood and one remaining arm; the customer is just gonna have to suck it up and not be a little bitch, any problems are everybody else's fault--a slim blanket on top and bottom of newspaper has worked fine for him. (Though you can guarantee fire and brimstone if he got a package shipped that way, he would probably threaten a bad review and probably demand money back, regardless of receiving the product in decent condition, then leave a middling-review-to-bad-review-anyway for the inconvenience of him having to do complain.)

Ive used newspaper to move fragile items when I was moving but the thing is, you do that when YOU YOURSELF are moving the boxes and overseeing the process and being gentle.

USPS is gonna dropkick your shit all over the place, exceptional individual.

the same guy did a video where he made jack's valentine's day dinner and its nothing short of hilarious

 

[The Cum Consumer]

I dont know how this guy got recommended to me by youtube but this dude has a video of himself trying the sauces (and gagging on them) but he also gives you a glimpse of how Jack packages them to ship. Tip: Fuck bubble wrap or even individually wrapping, that shit is too rich and too much effort for Boomer Jack's blood and one remaining arm; the customer is just gonna have to suck it up and not be a little bitch, any problems are everybody else's fault--a slim blanket on top and bottom of newspaper has worked fine for him. (Though you can guarantee fire and brimstone if he got a package shipped that way, he would probably threaten a bad review and probably demand money back, regardless of receiving the product in decent condition, then leave a middling-review-to-bad-review-anyway for the inconvenience of him having to do complain.)

Ive used newspaper to move fragile items when I was moving but the thing is, you do that when YOU YOURSELF are moving the boxes and overseeing the process and being gentle.

USPS is gonna dropkick your shit all over the place, exceptional individual.

Wait, does Jack ship the boxes himself? I always assumed that he's working with some sort of company to make them per-order. How the fuck do you even go about making your own sauce brand anyways?

 

[Jaded Optimist]

That dude has done a bunch of lolcow recipes (jack, Kay, dsp, Amberlynn...etc).

 

[Chamulum]

I dont know how this guy got recommended to me by youtube but this dude has a video of himself trying the sauces (and gagging on them) but he also gives you a glimpse of how Jack packages them to ship. Tip: Fuck bubble wrap or even individually wrapping, that shit is too rich and too much effort for Boomer Jack's blood and one remaining arm; the customer is just gonna have to suck it up and not be a little bitch, any problems are everybody else's fault--a slim blanket on top and bottom of newspaper has worked fine for him. (Though you can guarantee fire and brimstone if he got a package shipped that way, he would probably threaten a bad review and probably demand money back, regardless of receiving the product in decent condition, then leave a middling-review-to-bad-review-anyway for the inconvenience of him having to do complain.)

Ive used newspaper to move fragile items when I was moving but the thing is, you do that when YOU YOURSELF are moving the boxes and overseeing the process and being gentle.

USPS is gonna dropkick your shit all over the place, exceptional individual.

So all this time he complains about bottles breaking during shipping and this is how he ships them? Good lord. I knew he was retarded but this truly is a work of something truly unimaginably stupid.

 

[The Last Stand]

I’m beginning to believe that Jack wants to die.

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"People will complain no matter what you do."

Says Jack, who complains about his order being wrong, people on welfare, lines being long, technology not working, stores being crowded.

Pot calling the kettle black. But we know how he feels about Black...

 

[beautiful person]

"People will complain no matter what you do."

Says Jack, who complains about his order being wrong, people on welfare, lines being long, technology not working, stores being crowded.

Pot calling the kettle black. But we know how he feels about Black...

Jack's boomer Facebook posts are weird in that it always seems like he's calling himself out, but as though he isn't actually himself.

 

[AnOminous]

I’m beginning to believe that Jack wants to die.

I hope he does. He deserves to die like he lived, as an absolute piece of shit.

 

[GoodFattyDeadFatty]

https://youtu.be/X2pbL4i0rJo

New brisket video where Jack pretends to be an expert even though TamTam did most of the work.

At the end of the video Jack pretends to be on the phone with a boomer friend wanting to come over for some of his brisket. He really wants to catch the ‘rona.

 

[The Last Stand]

I hope he does. He deserves to die like he lived, as an absolute piece of shit.

Lol calm down. His time will come soon. For now, just sit back and enjoy the show.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

i wonder if jack's thread would work in deathfats sub

 

[captkrisma]

Aside from the fact that Jack has no clue with how to work a fairly straightforward app, Olive Garden...really? Fucking Olive Garden?

Of all the chain restaurants, this would be the worst given the current global situation. Why go if you don't get unlimited salad and breadsticks?

https://youtu.be/X2pbL4i0rJo

New brisket video where Jack pretends to be an expert even though TamTam did most of the work.

At the end of the video Jack pretends to be on the phone with a boomer friend wanting to come over for some of his brisket. He really wants to catch the ‘rona.

"I dont want to put too much seasoning on this"

Proceeds to coat the damn thing in black pepper.

 

[stets]

i wonder if jack's thread would work in deathfats sub

Jack's thread could go a number of places. Death fats, YouTube famous, general lolcow. I personally prefer it here since his lifetime of failing at everything transcends more limited classifications.

 

[Begemot]

That 'cajun' chicken was an abomination. It was cultural appropriation by a deluded diabetic-afllicted boomer ape.

 

[Aaway]

jack is boomer'ing it up hard on FB this morning

he really wants to get the virus to own all his "haters" huh

 

[Constellationzero]

I dont know how this guy got recommended to me by youtube but this dude has a video of himself trying the sauces (and gagging on them) but he also gives you a glimpse of how Jack packages them to ship. Tip: Fuck bubble wrap or even individually wrapping, that shit is too rich and too much effort for Boomer Jack's blood and one remaining arm; the customer is just gonna have to suck it up and not be a little bitch, any problems are everybody else's fault--a slim blanket on top and bottom of newspaper has worked fine for him. (Though you can guarantee fire and brimstone if he got a package shipped that way, he would probably threaten a bad review and probably demand money back, regardless of receiving the product in decent condition, then leave a middling-review-to-bad-review-anyway for the inconvenience of him having to do complain.)

Ive used newspaper to move fragile items when I was moving but the thing is, you do that when YOU YOURSELF are moving the boxes and overseeing the process and being gentle.

USPS is gonna dropkick your shit all over the place, exceptional individual.

Sauce definitely resembles substances often found in park bathrooms.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

jack is boomer'ing it up hard on FB this morning

he really wants to get the virus to own all his "haters" huh
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View attachment 1236999

“Too much money to the unemployed.” —Man that has been unemployed for at least a decade

 

[captkrisma]

jack is boomer'ing it up hard on FB this morning

he really wants to get the virus to own all his "haters" huh
View attachment 1236998
View attachment 1236999

So...who wants to explain to the boomer how state sovereignty works?

Also, the president made a glide path to opening up businesses, but the decision will always lie on the individual state.

 

[Religion is Dead]

I have no additional words that have not already been said.

 

[Adamska]

https://youtu.be/X2pbL4i0rJo

New brisket video where Jack pretends to be an expert even though TamTam did most of the work.

At the end of the video Jack pretends to be on the phone with a boomer friend wanting to come over for some of his brisket. He really wants to catch the ‘rona.

Doing a runthrough, since he's going to ruin 15 pounds of some of the best meat to serve to those you love.

1. Fat Jack being a smug fake-christian with that shirt of his
1b. Remember, he goes to a church run by a murderer who refused to close down at first and it looks like a fucking strip joint.
2. Narcissistic Jack insists that his animal to mineral transubstantiation is good, but now is claiming it'll be "perfect".
3. Jack does a bullet point style outline of what he wants to do; talk about the cut, how to prepare it, and how to make it "perfect"... can't wait to see more cinnabar or coal.
4. "FAGGOT" ~ Jack's avatar on him ruining brisket
5. The brisket is a flat cut, and Fat Jack is just showing the fatty layer that covers it right now as he talks about buying it from Sam's Club.
6. Jack must have listened to the thread, since he mentions shaving off the fat from the flat cut.
7. He tries to explain that he wants a good marbled brisket, but fatboy doesn't turn his cut upside down to check the marbling
7b. Fun fact; you can still get bad marbling (and thus a lean cut) even if you get it flat cut... it's why you check the underside.
8. "If you go the other direction, then there will be no fat for me..." ~ Jack Scatolini on not understanding marbling and brisket cuts.
9. I'm suspecting that Jack's never had nor does he understand point cut brisket, since he seems to insist that the fat cap is needed for the brisket to be nice and juicy.
10. Jack is actually right; you want a consistent thickness for brisket for even cooking. *golf claps*
11. Jack is now shilling another product to pretend he's a big boy with a big bidness and not a fat leech sponging off of wifey.
11b. Asshole Jack forgets the maker of the Qwick Trim he was given back when he was more relevant; it's made by Grommet.
11c. And yes Grommet, you're welcome for the plug that the fat idiot you sent it to forgot to do.
12. Hahahaha, Narcissistic Jack doesn't want to show Tammy or Jr. shaving the meat off for him because his dead arm can't hold the meat from moving; good luck learning how to properly do it, since you ain't getting that THIS video.
13. Tammy didn't take off the full cap, but it does look like it got evened out.
14. Jack the dummy is wrong; you want to guarantee that your cut is even for cooking, even if it does intrude into meat.
14b. It also allows that side to get some flavoring from the seasoning you put on it.
14c. I reckon this means he'd leave meat be even if it does dry out due to being too thin since he's that terrified he won't be able to cram it in your mouth (the magic number for that by the way being an inch).
15. "Start with a little pepper" ~ Mushbrained Jack right before pouring what may be a third of a shaker on it
16. By the way the pepper's not evenly coating this side; it has big clumpy areas where there's too much and then areas there's not any. Sure, the fat will not allow that side to penetrate too well, but still.
17. Jack then dumps a buttload of salt and garlic randomly all over the cut, not even ensuring that it's even, while trying to claim he doesn't want to overpower the meat's flavor profile.
18. And I just noticed some thin zones of meat. We're getting some mummy brisket, yum.
19. Simple seasoning my ass; adding onion and garlic powder takes it well out of "simple".
20. Jack actually mentions he's seasoning the other side. Good; that actually means it will have flavor.
21. He also mentions leaving it in the fridge for a few hours; what he doesn't know is he's dry brining the brisket by doing this.
22. Jack has never let brisket cook for the full time needed (read: 14 hours).
23. Jack doesn't specify if he went fat side down or up when he cuts to the smoker, but he seems to prefer up based on other videos.
23b. Hint: It's better to do down because the fat cap protects that side from drying out.
24. I also just noticed he doesn't specify if he put water in the pan to keep the smoker's interior moist; that kinda helps in preventing drying out.
25. Looks like Jack did do it fatside up... oof.
26. And since he used butcher paper for the brisket, I can now tell you he probably used this guide. GG fatty.
27. Hungry Jack takes it out early; you're supposed to wait until the thickest part hits 200 idiot.
28. Also he mentions resting it an hour; that's the minimum, and the guide I know he's using for this recommends two actually.
29. Eurgh... hope you like the sound of styrofoam scratching against paper. That shit is unpleasant to me.
30. After I stopped cringing, no Jack. An hour is MINIMUM. Fucking wait for din-din fatty.
31. It only looks like leather this time, meaning that him ripping off that guide actually prevented the full mineralization from happening.
32. Still looks like fatty didn't let the smoker stay moist, since it looks more like jerky than brisket at a glance.
33. Resting my ass; it's still fucking cooking from the sound of it.
34. Jack actually acknowledges Tammy for the assist; I think he IS listening to Pink Chicken and the Lazy Man.
35. Nevermind, from that front angle it does look like iron ore. It's just not as bad as his usual shit.
36. "That's the wet brisket you wanted right?" ~ WHY THE FUCK IS WET A GOOD FUCKING WORD FOR YOU JACK
37. Hey, he did actually not steal a thumbnail. And he even did a skit for once... I'm actually surprised he has a bit of passion this time.
38. Jack didn't have to cut away to spit out his food this time.
39. He actually lets the padding have a more natural length too.

I'm actually shocked; besides Jacking it up a bit here and there, he did not completely fuck up that brisket like I thought he would.

 

[Religion is Dead]

Jack reviews more no name Chinese shovelware. He’s shocked that a three-way charging pad can be so cheap. He’ll probably be equally shocked and rage when the piece of shit inevitably breaks in two months.

Mr. Techtime doesn't know that Qi is pronounced like Chi.