Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[realgone2]

How can you fire yourself if you don't have a job?
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Fat fuck wouldn't know a hard days work if it lodged in his left ventricle.

 

[Aaway]

Also, isn't Jack a half brother to the other siblings?

that's a rumor that his brothers have floated around since they were kids apparently

i believe it considering both of his brothers are very thin and jack is morbidly obese

 

[Begemot]

Doing a runthrough, since he's going to ruin 15 pounds of some of the best meat to serve to those you love.

1. Fat Jack being a smug fake-christian with that shirt of his
1b. Remember, he goes to a church run by a murderer who refused to close down at first and it looks like a fucking strip joint.
2. Narcissistic Jack insists that his animal to mineral transubstantiation is good, but now is claiming it'll be "perfect".
3. Jack does a bullet point style outline of what he wants to do; talk about the cut, how to prepare it, and how to make it "perfect"... can't wait to see more cinnabar or coal.
4. "FAGGOT" ~ Jack's avatar on him ruining brisket
5. The brisket is a flat cut, and Fat Jack is just showing the fatty layer that covers it right now as he talks about buying it from Sam's Club.
6. Jack must have listened to the thread, since he mentions shaving off the fat from the flat cut.
7. He tries to explain that he wants a good marbled brisket, but fatboy doesn't turn his cut upside down to check the marbling
7b. Fun fact; you can still get bad marbling (and thus a lean cut) even if you get it flat cut... it's why you check the underside.
8. "If you go the other direction, then there will be no fat for me..." ~ Jack Scatolini on not understanding marbling and brisket cuts.
9. I'm suspecting that Jack's never had nor does he understand point cut brisket, since he seems to insist that the fat cap is needed for the brisket to be nice and juicy.
10. Jack is actually right; you want a consistent thickness for brisket for even cooking. *golf claps*
11. Jack is now shilling another product to pretend he's a big boy with a big bidness and not a fat leech sponging off of wifey.
11b. Asshole Jack forgets the maker of the Qwick Trim he was given back when he was more relevant; it's made by Grommet.
11c. And yes Grommet, you're welcome for the plug that the fat idiot you sent it to forgot to do.
12. Hahahaha, Narcissistic Jack doesn't want to show Tammy or Jr. shaving the meat off for him because his dead arm can't hold the meat from moving; good luck learning how to properly do it, since you ain't getting that THIS video.
13. Tammy didn't take off the full cap, but it does look like it got evened out.
14. Jack the dummy is wrong; you want to guarantee that your cut is even for cooking, even if it does intrude into meat.
14b. It also allows that side to get some flavoring from the seasoning you put on it.
14c. I reckon this means he'd leave meat be even if it does dry out due to being too thin since he's that terrified he won't be able to cram it in your mouth (the magic number for that by the way being an inch).
15. "Start with a little pepper" ~ Mushbrained Jack right before pouring what may be a third of a shaker on it
16. By the way the pepper's not evenly coating this side; it has big clumpy areas where there's too much and then areas there's not any. Sure, the fat will not allow that side to penetrate too well, but still.
17. Jack then dumps a buttload of salt and garlic randomly all over the cut, not even ensuring that it's even, while trying to claim he doesn't want to overpower the meat's flavor profile.
18. And I just noticed some thin zones of meat. We're getting some mummy brisket, yum.
19. Simple seasoning my ass; adding onion and garlic powder takes it well out of "simple".
20. Jack actually mentions he's seasoning the other side. Good; that actually means it will have flavor.
21. He also mentions leaving it in the fridge for a few hours; what he doesn't know is he's dry brining the brisket by doing this.
22. Jack has never let brisket cook for the full time needed (read: 14 hours).
23. Jack doesn't specify if he went fat side down or up when he cuts to the smoker, but he seems to prefer up based on other videos.
23b. Hint: It's better to do down because the fat cap protects that side from drying out.
24. I also just noticed he doesn't specify if he put water in the pan to keep the smoker's interior moist; that kinda helps in preventing drying out.
25. Looks like Jack did do it fatside up... oof.
26. And since he used butcher paper for the brisket, I can now tell you he probably used this guide. GG fatty.
27. Hungry Jack takes it out early; you're supposed to wait until the thickest part hits 200 idiot.
28. Also he mentions resting it an hour; that's the minimum, and the guide I know he's using for this recommends two actually.
29. Eurgh... hope you like the sound of styrofoam scratching against paper. That shit is unpleasant to me.
30. After I stopped cringing, no Jack. An hour is MINIMUM. Fucking wait for din-din fatty.
31. It only looks like leather this time, meaning that him ripping off that guide actually prevented the full mineralization from happening.
32. Still looks like fatty didn't let the smoker stay moist, since it looks more like jerky than brisket at a glance.
33. Resting my ass; it's still fucking cooking from the sound of it.
34. Jack actually acknowledges Tammy for the assist; I think he IS listening to Pink Chicken and the Lazy Man.
35. Nevermind, from that front angle it does look like iron ore. It's just not as bad as his usual shit.
36. "That's the wet brisket you wanted right?" ~ WHY THE FUCK IS WET A GOOD FUCKING WORD FOR YOU JACK
37. Hey, he did actually not steal a thumbnail. And he even did a skit for once... I'm actually surprised he has a bit of passion this time.
38. Jack didn't have to cut away to spit out his food this time.
39. He actually lets the padding have a more natural length too.

I'm actually shocked; besides Jacking it up a bit here and there, he did not completely fuck up that brisket like I thought he would.

Brisket-bros like you are fucking savage. I haven't watched the video yet but I'll watching it with your play by play.

 

[arthurdaley]

Jack praises the good lord in his live chat that he is selling so many sauces lately and doesn't know why. He is selling 3 - 5 bottles a day. LOL So how many does he normally sell???

Also, when discussing comments being turned off someone said 'Jack's comments became too toxic after that hate site Kiwifarms started following him'

 

[captkrisma]

How can you fire yourself if you don't have a job?
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Benefits are only up to 26 weeks and the minimum unemployment wage is $30 per day you fat fuck.

 

[Adamska]

Jack praises the good lord in his live chat that he is selling so many sauces lately and doesn't know why. He is selling 3 - 5 bottles a day. LOL So how many does he normally sell???

Also, when discussing comments being turned off someone said 'Jack's comments became too toxic after that hate site Kiwifarms started following him'

I honestly suspect he's forcing his church buddies and family to buy them for his ego. And he's only reshilling it because people mocked him for giving up on it and for it being shit even he doesn't like to use himself.

 

[salmonellajack]

3-5 bottles a day is good??!?

So before that what did he sell? 5 bottles a week?

 

[captkrisma]

Jack is a fucking idiot spreading around fake conspiracies and not understanding what a press pass is...

 

[desudesu]

How can you fire yourself if you don't have a job?
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Do the math... er, earning a couple dollars from Youtube revenue and $0 from the sale of rotten sauces?

I honestly suspect he's forcing his church buddies and family to buy them for his ego. And he's only reshilling it because people mocked him for giving up on it and for it being shit even he doesn't like to use himself.

Either that or he can simply lie about actually selling sauces, since most of them would have spoiled by now.

 

[realgone2]

You'd feel sorry for this guy if he wasn't just a total piece of fucking shit. Those restaurant review videos are infuriating.

 

[desudesu]

Says the fat man who is so lazy and gluttonous that he refuses to even go for post-stroke physiotherapy for his gimp arm.

Good luck trying to use the knife with your gimp arm. Is Big T just letting him go free-for-all with her card, or was it from the 1200 trumpbux?

 

[realgone2]

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Says the fat man who is so lazy and gluttonous that he refuses to even go for post-stroke physiotherapy for his gimp arm.

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Good luck trying to use the knife with your gimp arm. Is Big T just letting him go free-for-all with her card, or was it from the 1200 trumpbux?

The shitty thing is he can say he's self employed and get UI with the extra 600 a week. I'm all for self employed people getting that help, but it let's this worthless fuck get it too.

 

[captkrisma]

The shitty thing is he can say he's self employed and get UI with the extra 600 a week. I'm all for self employed people getting that help, but it let's this worthless fuck get it too.

Unemployment is pretty strict when it comes to determining eligibility. Youtuber? Get fucked. The sauce company? He has actual proof that his business is still operational, so they'd either deny his claim outright, or give him the lowest amount possible. The money would also stop coming in once Jack forgets to file a weekly report of sales.

TL;DR: Coward Jack could maybe irk out a couple thousand bucks, but once any businesses open back up, the cash cow is dry.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Twelve hours ago, Jack was picking up food at Panda Express.



Twenty minutes ago, Jack was lamenting the fact that people aren’t “eating healthy inside their house.”



Never change, Jack.

 

[realgone2]

Unemployment is pretty strict when it comes to determining eligibility. Youtuber? Get fucked. The sauce company? He has actual proof that his business is still operational, so they'd either deny his claim outright, or give him the lowest amount possible. The money would also stop coming in once Jack forgets to file a weekly report of sales.

TL;DR: Coward Jack could maybe irk out a couple thousand bucks, but once any businesses open back up, the cash cow is dry.

He'd be too lazy to certify for the week and wouldn't get it.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

Twelve hours ago, Jack was picking up food at Panda Express.

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Twenty minutes ago, Jack was lamenting the fact that people aren’t “eating healthy inside their house.”

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Never change, Jack.

I like how Jack thinks BBQ and air fried foods are just automatically healthy for some reason. So healthy that he suggests them as better alternatives. And/or he's just salty that people aren't searching for his culinary abominations so he's not getting a ratings bump like many other Youtubers right now.

 

[desudesu]

Twenty minutes ago, Jack was lamenting the fact that people aren’t “eating healthy inside their house.”

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Never change, Jack.

Because not everyone has the privilege of owning 9,000 BBQ grilles like you, fat Jack, and not every other fucking country lives on BBQ either. Also wasn't he talking so much shit about air frying? You can't fucking air fry everything.

Funny because most of the recipes on that list there are way healthier than what the fat man churns out in his kitchen.

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

Was watching a bit of Hell's Kitchen last night and couldn't help but wonder how it would go if our boy Jack went on the show.

"And what do you call this?"
"Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad, chef."
Ramsay takes a bite and they have to stop filming because he runs straight to the bathroom and vomit.

No they dont. There was one signature dish that actually made him heave and the cameras kept rolling.

Since he doesnt do the elimination right there, Jack would get a shot at working in the kitchen...and every single plate would come up raw until Ramsay finally throws him out.

 

[Guy Made Of Bees]

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Says the fat man who is so lazy and gluttonous that he refuses to even go for post-stroke physiotherapy for his gimp arm.

View attachment 1240950

Good luck trying to use the knife with your gimp arm. Is Big T just letting him go free-for-all with her card, or was it from the 1200 trumpbux?

Looks like a cheap 20 bucks chinese cleaver with a fucked up bevel and cut into shape with an anglegrinder, probably from some chink seller, really cheap handle scales too.. Happened a lot 2 years ago, so he's even behind in shitty knive trends. At least he might contract the coof from it, or Tam Tam more likely.

 

[captkrisma]

Looks like a cheap 20 bucks chinese cleaver with a fucked up bevel and cut into shape with an anglegrinder, probably from some chink seller, really cheap handle scales too.. Happened a lot 2 years ago, so he's even behind in shitty knive trends. At least he might contract the coof from it, or Tam Tam more likely.

Of the countries that are renown for quality knives, I know Albania is at the top of all lists. /sneed

The pinterest list looks nice. I'll search for those dishes and make a couple videos off them.