- Joined
- May 8, 2015
The only way Phil is gonna commit not alive is by accident.
"ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici / Isabel Rosa Araujo - The Original Troon Commie Cow
- Thread starter wagglyplacebo
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2013
It's pretty difficult to kill himself in Minecraft, accidentally or otherwise, when Phil never leaves the AnTardfa barracks and spends most of his days firmly sitting on his fat ass.
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2018
Heart attack from too much cheese pizza is the most likely way he will kill himself.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2013
That's a strong likelihood. Equally likely (perhaps even more likely) is complications from untreated diabetes. It's only a matter of time before Phat Phuck Phil gets the 'betus, and when you have diabetes you absolutely need to take good care of yourself. Phil is virtually incapable of taking good care of himself, and his personal hygiene is the stuff of nightmares. Remember his green, moldy Shrek feet? All it would take is a stubbed to, or a little cut, or even neglecting post-tattoo care and maintenance, and Phil would get gangrene faster than you could say "fascism".
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2020
Would any of ADF's buddies notice any health problems he could have and send him to a hospital though? I wonder if they really do care about him that much.
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
I thought Phil was already diabetic. I mean, I disagree, but KF has been labeling him that for years.
taintmisbehavin
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2020
You vastly overestimate the potato man. He would be more likely to die by tripping and falling on his way to put the bullet in the gun.
That or one ginger root butt plug too many.
- Joined
- May 30, 2019
I always got the sense that, were Phil to actually get figged by someone, he would immediately regret it and start crying. Being figged is supposedly so intensely painful that it was used a method of medieval punishment. It would be fucking hilarious because it takes like 40 minutes for it to stop burning.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
The thing about Phil is that he'd be a fairly bog standard autist if it weren't for his circumstances. I've often said that Chris was the perfect storm of autism. He was discovered at just the right time, when trolling was easy, and he (and his parents) reacted in all of the wrong ways. Well something similar could be said about Phil. He is indeed autistic and just plain dumb, but he at least has a better handle on reality than Chris. He spergs out about Australatina, but he knows it isn't real. In fact, all of his hobbies and interests are intentionally chosen to go along with whatever image he wants to convey at the time. Granted, he's autistic so the connections don't make sense to us, or to most other people, including the people he wants to impress, but its fixed in his head. For example, he strongly associates bicycles with Communism thanks to Hetalia, so he can't fathom why nobody else would make that association. He likes boy bands so he says they're "hard core" without knowing what that term really means.
Unlike Chris, Phil is pretty much the result of taking identity politics to the extreme. Around the time he got into community college Phil was really big into anime, especially yaoi, and made it a central part of his identity. From there, he jumped into liberal politics without really understanding what that entailed, eventually settling on "Communism" or "Maoism" because he thought China from Hetalia was cute. That's pretty much all of the thought he put into it. He went to Occupy, which was big at the time, made an ass of himself, eventually switched from being gay to trans to I don't even know what, and moved to the West Coast and got himself covered in shitty tattoos to advertise his identities at the time. Almost everything he did was calculated to make him popular and accepted by the teenage/young adult community. He was into headmates when that was a thing. He tried to get into Occupy, and then Dykes on Bikes (mostly because he's autistic, like Chris, and likes rhymes), and then he was a witch, and now he's into Antifa. Honestly if he had been born a few years, or even went to community college a few years later, he'd probably be an alt-right red pill lunatic instead of a wannabe translesbian antifa vegan street warrior.
I mean, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier. SJWs love to eat their own, and Phil is an obvious white dude. I get that Portland is one of the whitest cities on earth, but I'm sure he's either gotten called out by now or he's afraid of what will happen if he gets labelled as "culturally appropriating" Latino culture. His SJW friends aren't as forgiving as the other groups he's travelled in. Furries and anime don't want people airing their fetishes in public. They'll play nice and give him a pass, but the new crowd? They'll sell him downriver out of sheer spite.
Unlike Chris, Phil is pretty much the result of taking identity politics to the extreme. Around the time he got into community college Phil was really big into anime, especially yaoi, and made it a central part of his identity. From there, he jumped into liberal politics without really understanding what that entailed, eventually settling on "Communism" or "Maoism" because he thought China from Hetalia was cute. That's pretty much all of the thought he put into it. He went to Occupy, which was big at the time, made an ass of himself, eventually switched from being gay to trans to I don't even know what, and moved to the West Coast and got himself covered in shitty tattoos to advertise his identities at the time. Almost everything he did was calculated to make him popular and accepted by the teenage/young adult community. He was into headmates when that was a thing. He tried to get into Occupy, and then Dykes on Bikes (mostly because he's autistic, like Chris, and likes rhymes), and then he was a witch, and now he's into Antifa. Honestly if he had been born a few years, or even went to community college a few years later, he'd probably be an alt-right red pill lunatic instead of a wannabe translesbian antifa vegan street warrior.
I mean, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier. SJWs love to eat their own, and Phil is an obvious white dude. I get that Portland is one of the whitest cities on earth, but I'm sure he's either gotten called out by now or he's afraid of what will happen if he gets labelled as "culturally appropriating" Latino culture. His SJW friends aren't as forgiving as the other groups he's travelled in. Furries and anime don't want people airing their fetishes in public. They'll play nice and give him a pass, but the new crowd? They'll sell him downriver out of sheer spite.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
His schtick was that he was “white-passing.” Fortunately for him, he tended to hang out in circles where questioning a person’s identity was frowned upon (probably because most of them were bullshitters themselves).
I reckon there’s an actual Latino among his current crowd.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
The last time he challenged a real Latino he ended up thrown out of that anarchist bookstore thing.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
Hard to say. Whatever the case, the current crowd he's hanging out with exercises a remarkable degree of control over him. Its actually the best thing that could happen to him because staying off the internet is the only real way to avoid being laughed at. Getting covered in tattoos, sperging out over maps of his fictional country, and talking about his "headmates" bicycling through Israel just made us laugh harder. A few months of radio silence essentially made us forget about him. Of course I doubt this is done out of the goodness of their hearts. I suspect they're more worried about Phil getting people to laugh at all wannabe Antifa kids. He's sort of ruining their brand name just by existing, but if they assign him a wrangler and keep him from doing stupid things in public then they don't have to worry.
The funny thing is, Phil was this close to being a knock off Rachel Dolezal. Honestly the SJWs absolutely cater to trannies, and even things as ridiculous as trans-aged have come into vogue in some circles. Trans-racial is going to be a thing sooner or later because it will allow otherwise boring and uninteresting white suburbanites to pretend to be black without having to prove black ancestry. Just say you're trans-racial and that's it. You are what you say you are. And when it does become a trend, its going to absolutely fuck with the SJWs because half of them will think its cultural appropriation and half of them will jump on board with it. Phil would have loved that.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
It is definitely possible to be mentally younger than one's physical age from mental disability.* But I'm guessing the difference between that and being "trans-age" is the latter is merely thinking one is -- or "identifying as" -- a certain age?
*(I've mentioned it in the CWC Random Thoughts thread that I met a poor guy who has the mind of an infant, and will for life.)
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 27, 2013
But Phil had something huge going against it. He was simply not funny.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2014
Yeah, being developmentally delayed is a bit different from what I'm talking about. In fact, I genuinely believe Phil is stuck with the mentality of a teenager and won't get better, so its actually one label he could legitimately claim if it weren't so embarrassing.
No, what I was talking about were things like that Dutchman who was suing to be legally recognized as 20 years younger, or any of those adult babies. Its pretty much exactly the same as some fat hairy dude putting on a dress and claiming to be a woman, and just as often involves some weird fetish or another.
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2014
Phil is about 11-12 mentally. He sees cool aesthetics and he wants that but he also needs a helper. And for some reason he likes road signs and I’m not going to question why anymore.
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2014
That’s just autism. It’s a system of simple, consistent symbols separate from the complexity of the real world. Like autists who are into trains, music or a particular fictional universe, but more tard-friendly.
The one I find really curious is bikes. He doesn’t seem interested in how they work or the different types and obviously he can’t ride. I heard it said that it was to do with Hetalia, but he attaches it to whatever his identity du jour is. It’s like he’s really into just the fact that bikes exist. I remember one of his patrol videos where he kept stopping to look at bikes, much the way other guys might turn to look at an attractive woman.
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2019
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2019
Lockout is in effect because of infectious diseases.
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2014
I still think Phil never got surgery in the first place. In other words, he's still 100% male. The Surgery That Never Was was the biggest -- and relatively most convincing -- lie Phil ever told.
Remember the earlier de-balling lie?