Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

Okay, I'll do the whole favourite moments thing.

Star Wars - Death Star Trench run. Wonderfully tense, great music and still looks great effects-wise even today. Thank you Marcia Lucas!

Empire Strikes Back - Obvious, but the "I am your father" scene. It's iconic for a reason.

Return of the Jedi - The bit where Darth Vader has to watch the Emperor torturing Luke and choose whether to save him or not. Even through the mask, you can sense the agony of his decision. It makes my eyes a bit damp every time I see it. Shame they added that stupid "Noooo!" line in the Special Editions.

The Phantom Menace - The opening scene where they have to escape from the Trade Federation ship.

Attack of the Clones - Any scene with Christopher Lee. I also quick liked Temuera Morrison as Jango Fett.

Revenge of the Sith - The space battle above Coruscant. Those Jedi Starfighters were kino.

The Force Awakens - The scene where Poe and Finn escape from the Star Destroyer.

The Last Jedi - The scene where Luke slags off the Jedi from the Prequel era. I always thought they were incompetent morons.

The Rise of Skywalker - The scenes where Kylo Ren is Ben Solo. Adam Driver is such a great actor and it was nice to see him play the hero for a change even if a lot of the stuff going on around him didn't make much sense.

Rogue One - The bit where they're about to get the hammer dropped on them by an AT-AT, but are saved by Ben Daniels in his X-Wing.

Solo - The opening where they're escaping Corellia. Actually a pretty fun car chase.

And just for fun, I'll do my favourite moments from Rufus's Sequel Trilogy.

Wrath of the Empire - The bit where an Imperial officer starts to swear just before his ship gets blown up.

Fall of the Alliance - All the romance scenes with Jace and Aravis. I didn't think someone could write more inept romantic dialogue than George Lucas, but Rufus proved otherwise.

Rage of the Force - The entire end battle. Han wielding a lightsaber, the entire Jedi Order coming back to life, the fact the whole thing was ripped off from Endgame. A glorious clusterfuck. Although most of what I've just described could be applied to The Rise of Skywalker's ending too since, as has been pointed out before, they were eerily similar.
 
Disney Lucasfilm has Rectonned the Rule of Two.
In Short the Rule in two allows more than two Sith, it's just that they are all ruled over by Two Sithlords, so when Yoda says always two there are, no more, is just a giant misinterpretation of the rule. I hate Woke Wars.

That's dumb. The whole point is with multiple underlings a bunch of weaklings band together and could topple a powerful Sith Lord, only to lead to chaos as the weaklings fight each other. The rule of two is literally one master to embody power, the other to crave it. Two. Can woke people not count?
This story might hit the SW youtubers soon.
https://lethbridgenewsnow.com/2020/...lps-arrests-employee-in-stormtrooper-costume/ http://archive.li/3AdI3
5a69dda1-6ebf-438b-8b0d-f0d5a6225370.png


The employee dressed in the Star Wars stormtrooper costumer at Coco Vanilla Galactic Cantina. (Supplied by Bradley Whalen)

Star Wars Day promotion goes awry after LPS arrests employee in stormtrooper costume
By David Opinko
May 04, 2020

LETHBRIDGE, AB – ***WARNING — Attached video contains coarse language
May the fourth is widely known among fans of the sci-fi series as Star Wars Day, and thus, a local business themed around the franchise wanted to put on a promotion to celebrate it.
Coco Vanilla Galactic Cantina Owner Bradley Whalen told LNN that it very quickly went off the rails and put one of his employees in serious danger.
“We had music playing in the parking lot, we had one of our staff dress up as a stormtrooper kind of waving to people walking up and down the road, we had people stopping by and getting pictures with the stormtrooper, we put a couple of promotions on in the restaurant to entice people to come.”

The female employee arrived for work at 10:00 am on Monday, May 4, and went out in full costume around 20 minutes later.

He believes that some members of the public must have seen her brandishing a plastic toy blaster believing it was a real gun and phoned police. Lethbridge Police Service (LPS) Inspector Jason Walper says they got two 911 calls regarding a firearms complaint near the business on 13 Street North. At approximately 11:20 am, three police cruisers arrived and a truck followed shortly after.

In the video, Whalen came outside after hearing the officers shouting at the employee. He can be heard telling the officers that the girl in the costume only has a toy gun.The officers tell Whelan to get back in his building.

“Police officers had guns drawn, pointed at my employee. They were yelling at her to put the gun down so she threw the plastic gun on the ground. At that point in time when I came out, she was on her knees kneeling down on the ground. The police had already checked and seen that the gun was plastic so they already knew that there wasn’t an issue or a risk there.”
The video shows that the girl did drop the gun to the ground when told to do so.

Walper offered a different account of the officers’ initial encounter with the employee.
At the time he spoke to media about the incident, he had not yet fully reviewed all of the details, but claims “the person did not comply with the police verbal directions. Eventually, they did after multiple repeated orders given by the police officers.”
After she got on her knees, Walper adds that the officers then “pushed the individual down to the ground” and put her into handcuffs.

As a result of being pushed to the ground, the employee had a bloodied nose. Neither Whalen nor Walper could confirm if she had suffered any other injuries. The employee could be heard crying out on the video and there were blood stains on the concrete.

According to Whalen, it took an extra few moments for the employee to get down because of the costume itself.
“She kept yelling at them that she couldn’t kneel down because, in that stormtrooper costume, you can’t even sit down in it, like it’s impossible to sit down. She kept telling them that she couldn’t get down is what she explained to me after we talked to her.”
“It wasn’t a matter of her not wanting to cooperate,” Whalen continued. “She dropped the gun when they told her to and just forcing her, making her get down on the ground after they determined that she wasn’t a risk and that the gun wasn’t even a real gun, it was a plastic Star Wars blaster.”

Whalen claims that there was no effort on the part of the police to de-escalate the situation or speak to him or the employee calmly before taking action. Walper says he understands that this matter likely boiled down to a misunderstanding, but they have to take these types of calls for service seriously. “We had multiple 911 calls stating there was someone with a firearm.”

“Any time our officers are responding to something that’s very spontaneous where there’s a weapon involved, our first responsibility is to ensure we can create a safe environment for the officers, for the public, and the individual itself,” says Walper, “So certainly, their first response is to deal with that weapon and remove the weapon from the person, take the person into custody, and then allow us to follow up with that investigation to determine exactly what occurred.”

The employee was arrested and placed into a police vehicle, but was released at the scene. No charges against her were filed.
Either way, Whalen believes that the officers should have handled the incident with “common sense and self-control.”
“She must be traumatized. She’s got guns pointed at her because she came to work today to dress up as a stormtrooper to promote Star Wars Day and she lasted an hour before she had guns pointed at her. I’m sitting here wondering, what are people thinking about my business now?”

Whalen told LNN that he is talking with the employee’s family about what, if any action they might take in response to this.
9de113f698b5a945f22decaab188bb09aebd0ca9f03ae00aad5937fda316bbd4.jpg
The employee standing along 13 Street North holding the toy blaster. (Supplied by Bradley Whalen)
566f45190d959ff158169dc87ff49993615c1e05a515e9b64f998ff1e9ffd125.jpg
The disassembled stormtrooper costume and the toy blaster. (Lethbridge News Now)
a4a331c1535531c7c64f7dbd25e9e40923beb98a64172400ffdaf259e1317227.jpg
Blood on Coco Vanilla Galactic Cantina’s parking lot following the police altercation. (Supplied by Bradley Whalen)
Video of arrest

This is vile, poor woman. Oh shit, its Canada. I was wondering how a police officer couldn't tell that wasn't a real gun...
 
Last edited:
The real story
I hadn't watched Star Wars until middle age, after seeing many shitty imitations, so my favorite moments are where it most deviates from the image of a corny movie I'd built up.
IV: Luke's domestic life
V: the confrontation at Cloud City and Han shooting at Vader
VI: the buildup to Palpy's death, and Luke's dignity during the whole scene, so unlike the soy of hundreds of moralfagging imitators

The content anthologies
I: now this is podracing, fuck you David Brin, this movie is fun
II: Zam Wesell
III: Obi-Wan fighting Vader, as a bridge between Obi-Wan a protagonist of I-III and Obi-Wan the soon-to-be dead mentor of Luke. Makes me sad for both of them as individuals, not just on behalf of Luke.

What the fuck was that
VII: Traitor (and Finn's plot line in general), Chewie's grief over Han's death (I don't care about Han's death in the What If, but he will die eventually, and Chewie will grieve)
VIII: Benicio del Toro, his character's awful anglo name notwithstanding
IX: the pinata was by far the best part.
 
Since it's Star Wars Day, what's your favorite Star Wars moment?
Since it's revenge of the 5th (I'm stealing @Flexo's pun) and also because I forgot to reply yesterday, here are my favorite moments in Star Wars:
Prequel: Sheev's speech in the Senate as he becomes the emperor.
Original trilogy: the battle of Hoth, especially the beginning when the rebels are getting ready and they see the AT-ATs in the distance.
Sequel: Nothing (I'm not trying to be edgy). That said, in the Disney-era I like Rogue One for the aesthetic and The Mandalorian because you can see how much Favreau loves and respects the franchise and he's not only looking at the past but also the future in terms of filmmaking.
Favorite soundtrack: Episode 3.
 
Last edited:
Since it's Star Wars Day, what's your favorite Star Wars moment?
Might as well answer this one on Revenge of the 5th, which I think is a good hashtag for the FandomMenace

ANH: The trench run like what everyone else mentioned. I also really liked the bits where Obi Wan is mentoring Luke as well.
ESB: Yoda training Luke for me; I especially liked the Cave Scene. Hoth and Han and Leia stuck in the asteroid is the runner up.
RoTJ: The final goodbye between Anakin and Luke, with the opening against Jabba being a strong second.
TPM: I would have to say it goes to "My give up... my give up", with a runner up being the podrace.
AotC: Oh fuck... the death sticks scene. I can't think of much more besides the gladiator fight pit tbh.
RotS: That's easy: Grievous v. Obi Wan, with the opening and ending to the Vader v. Kenobi fight too.
TFA: Traitor! and Rey's opening life, since it was the only part of the film that wanted to slow down.
RO: K2S0 as a whole, but I honestly forget this movie more often than not.
TLJ: The credits.
Solo: The box office returns.
FoS: The leaks being right.
 
1588714164756.png


Anakin: Born without a father, Born a Slave and was a slave for 90% of his childhood, Disrespected by everyone, Disrespected by the Jedi Council, Denied Jedi Master after all his hard work, Manipulated by the Jedi, Manipulated by the Emperor, Wasn't allowed to see his mother, Watched his mother die, lost the love of his life, Betrayed by his best friend, Betrayed by the Jedi, Burned nearly to death, Separated from his son and daughter, Lost everything he cared about in mere days, Had to live the rest of his life in a robotic suit

Kylo Ren: His uncle tried to kill him
 
Last edited:
I can't tell if this is Forbes doing a shitpost or if the actually believe this. 🤷‍♂️


Palpatine Is Actually Rey’s Grandmother, According To Science

Rey, the main character of the Star Wars sequel trilogy, is an orphan who's able to use the Force without training. Based on her natural abilities, for years fan theories have speculated that she must be descended from another powerful Force user, such as the Jedi knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. The identity of Rey's parents is a major plot point in the sequel movies and was finally revealed in The Rise of Skywalker.


In the final episode in the Skywalker Saga, Emperor Palpatine — dark lord of the Sith and former supreme leader of the Galactic Empire and — reveals he had a son: Rey's father, which would mean Palpatine is Rey's grandfather. But while that may sound straightforward, the relationship between the two is more complicated than it seems, and has been made more confusing by the recent novelization, which describes Palpatine's son as a clone.


Many people remain confused over exactly how Sheev Palpatine and Rey are related, as illustrated by headlines like "Rey's Grandpa Is Also Her Dad?", which makes no sense because two people can't possibly be the same person unless you invoke a time-travel paradox. To understand the family connections, you need to know some Star Wars, a little philosophy and a lot of biology. And so as a trained biologist and Star Wars fan, I'm going to help resolve the confusion.


Rey in 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker'.


Rey in 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker'.

Courtesy of Lucasfilm Ltd.
The only unambiguous relationship is between Rey and her dad. The novelization describes Rey's father as a "useless, powerless failure" whose "only worth would lay in continuing the bloodline through more natural methods." As a consequence, we can at least conclude that Rey was conceived as result of her mother and father having sex. The ambiguity stems from how Palpatine and Rey's father are connected, and it's that which leads to three possibilities for the Rey-Palpatine relationship.

1. Palpatine is Rey’s Grandfather

At the end of Return of the Jedi, Darth Vader kills Palpatine by throwing him down a shaft on the second Death Star. So how did the Emperor then survive as a zombie in The Rise of Skywalker? According to the novel, "His body was dead, an empty vessel, long before it found the bottom of the shaft, and his mind jolted to new awareness in a new body — a painful one, a temporary one." It turns out that members of a Sith cult had been working in a 'secret place' to prepare a clone that would receive Palpatine's consciousness after his death, but it wasn't ready, leaving the Emperor "trapped in a broken, dying form."


The novelization adds some detail about the cloning process, which involved "splicing genes, bolstering tissue, creating unnatural abominations in the hope that one of these strandcasts would succeed and become a worthy receptacle." There are a few phrases to unpack from that sentence. First, 'splicing genes' implies that the clones had been genetically engineered: pieces of DNA that didn't come from Palpatine were inserted or 'spliced' into a clone's chromosomes (Note: this differs from a biological definition of splicing: editing DNA that isn't read from genetic instructions). Rey’s father was a designer baby. The second phrase, 'bolstering tissue', is essentially the same as tissue engineering in medical research. Third, 'strandcast' seems to be a synonym for clone.


Supposedly the Sith cloning experiments were largely unsuccessful, with a single exception: Rey's father. As the novel puts it, "One genetic strandcast lived. Thrived, even." The novel isn't clear on how he differed from a perfect clone, but if the genetic difference were significant, Rey's dad could be considered Palpatine's son, meaning that Rey would indeed be Palpatine's granddaughter.

2. Palpatine is Rey’s Uncle

The Star Wars universe uses the word 'clone' extremely loosely. In biology, a 'clone' means the same as it does in non-scientific language: an identical copy. By contrast, 'cloning' is a catch-all term for a variety of processes — including 'somatic cell nuclear transfer', the technique that created Dolly the sheep, an animal that wasn't genetically identical to the original if you count genes inside the mitochondria of her cells, which carry their own DNA. Similarly, Palpatine's genetic material may have merely served as a template or scaffold for creating so-called 'clones'.


What if Rey's father were a clone in the common use of the word — an exact replica? His link to Palpatine is then best understood through a philosophical question: If you were cloned, what would be the relationship between you and your clone? Or to put it another way: How would you be related to someone who's genetically identical? The answer is obvious: the clone is your twin. And so if Rey's father was Palpatine's twin brother, Rey would be Palpatine's niece.


‘The Rise of Skywalker’ novel goes on to mention that Rey's father was a "not-quite-identical clone." This doesn't undermine the twin brothers idea, however, because contrary to popular belief, identical twins don't have exactly the same DNA. If you align the DNA sequences of two people side-by-side, some regions — and the genes within those regions — will be duplicated or deleted in one or the other person, which means that one person could have multiple copies of a gene while the other has none. The number of duplicated/deleted regions varies across the human population and is called 'copy number variation'. Several studies have found differences in DNA copy number between identical twins.

3. Palpatine is Rey’s Grandmother

Let's run with the claim that Rey's father is Palpatine's son, not his brother. So far we've only considered the process that created Rey's dad — cloning — as artificial. What if we look at human cloning from another angle, as a natural process?


Cloning is common in nature. Although humans produce offspring through sexual reproduction — the fertilization of an egg by a sperm — many organisms are asexual. Bacteria and other single-celled microbes usually divide in two, for example, and even complex creatures like the Komodo dragon can make offspring from unfertilized eggs, a phenomenon called 'parthenogenesis' — often nicknamed 'virgin birth'.


Komodo dragon.


Komodo dragon.

CC BY 2.0 Brian Henderson / https://flic.kr/p/2auP1PS
Biologists use 'mother' to label the individual that contributes the vast majority of resources and usually half the genetic material to their offspring (the egg in humans). Likewise, when one cell produces others, the original is called a mother cell and her offspring are daughter cells. Finally, as far as I'm aware, the parents in asexually-reproducing species are always known as mothers, never fathers.


If we look at cloning from nature's perspective then, Palpatine is the mother of Rey's father, and Palpatine is Rey’s grandmother — he's her grandma.


So there you have it. According to science, there are three ways to characterize the relationship between Rey and Palpatine — all of which could be considered 'correct', depending on your perspective. And that means Palpatine is actually Rey's grandmother... from a certain point of view.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GeneralFriendliness
Back