Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[Scarlett Johansson]

Rarely is there ever a time where I wish for someone to get murdered. But this guy is one of them.

Lots of troons are insane but this guy just.....smears the name

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

guess Bonnie is the CFO because Phillelope seems to be hopeless at financial decisions
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this house is fucked
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gofundme for a new deck when?

patreon is stagnant, february 14 vs. today
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and their etsy sales aren't looking good, february 7 vs. today
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Spoiler: some troon math

their products are around $5-$40, so assuming the average sale is $30, they've made $30 x 89 sales ($2670) minus etsy's 5% (~$133.5) cut on items + listing fees and other fine print. i don't even think they've even broken $2500 since the start of february, given there was a long period there they were just selling plastic jewellery and calendars.

and who knows if they were actually competent enough to factor in shipping costs + etsy's addtional 5% shipping cost cut, or their custom labels, or the cost of sending the fleece for processing.

a cursory googling of hay sales in Colorado puts pricing at around $10 per bale. sizing varies of course and i don't know how much alpacas eat, but that math alone makes their situation look dicey.

and Phil seems to have taken to ranching with his five-seven
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tranny Waco can't come soon enough


edit: looking at the title of the thread, i think the ranch is a much larger part of the shitshow now, and Kevin has essentially retired his artwork and "green salamander" handles. i think a little more emphasis on ram ranch would be helpful - thoughts?

I mean Bonnie can play CFO but the way he talked about being “up to my eyeballs in debt” makes it sounds like he put his and his husbands (I think) name down on the mortgage

The whole Troonicorn Ranch thing is interesting and probably needs to be added to the title, but I think if Kevin wasn't there we wouldn't be covering it - just three troons who made a bad investment. It's Kevvie's involvement that makes the whole thing so morbidly fascinating. The big unknown is the dynamic between Kev and the other troons, and just why it is that he does nothing and spends hundreds of dollars a week on children's toys while the rest of them work themselves into the ground and can barely afford to eat, and why everyone seems to put up with it.

I speculated that he's using a trust fund to part-fund the ranch, though others have doubted that. If they are correct, and all Kev has left is "enough for implants" ($8-$10k apparently) and is just sitting there sucking up all their hard-won electricity with his massive gaming rig and spending money that could save the whole endeavour from bankruptcy on dildos, Lego and Transformers, then the big questions are:

1 - What happens when Kev runs out of money?
2 - What happens when they all run out of money?
3 - What happens when the rest of the troons run out of patience with Kevin?

It's particularly notable that Kev and the other troons seldom mention each other, even though he's supposed to be in a romantic relationship with at least one and possibly all of them. The dynamic between them, and the reasons for this bizarre situation, are what is fascinating now. It's clearly not sustainable, and Kev's little bubble will have to burst eventually. There's no block button on a 9mm round, after all.

I think the ranch needs it own thread TBH. Kevvie sperging is enough to keep this thread active and healthy. Trying to untie this fucking web of a ranch I think needs a clean slate with less “muh neo vag needs stuffing” and more “so judging by the public listing the mortgage company put up...”

 

[PBJ Sucks]

To be perfectly fair with having a gun, there are valuable uses for it on a farm. I know nothing of guns themselves so I can't speak to the usefulness of the types they have or what sorts of wild animals they have around there, but predator control comes to mind (think foxes and stuff) and euthanasia.

That being said most people don't threaten others over fb with their lawnmowers, so I doubt farm use is the reason for owning them.

 

[SIGSEGV]

To be perfectly fair with having a gun, there are valuable uses for it on a farm. I know nothing of guns themselves so I can't speak to the usefulness of the types they have or what sorts of wild animals they have around there, but predator control comes to mind (think foxes and stuff) and euthanasia.

That being said most people don't threaten others over fb with their lawnmowers, so I doubt farm use is the reason for owning them.

Phil owns an FN Five-seveN, which is chambered for 5.7x28mm ammunition, and that shit is more expensive than the common handgun ammo. Here's the lowest price per round currently listed on AmmoSeek:
9mm Luger (9x19mm): 16.5 cents per round
.45 ACP: 40 cents per round
5.7x28mm: 60 cents per round

In other words, he bought an expensive meme gun that requires expensive ammo, and chooses to carry it around the ranch instead of carrying his 9x19mm handgun.

 

[wenttobermuda]

At this point, I am numb to the rotting wound where his dick once was. I mean, it's horrible, but what's more repellent is his spirit.

That the way he interacts with people, and lives his uwu fetishes, is more horrible than his disastrous neovag is quite the accomplishment.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

In other words, he bought an expensive meme gun that requires expensive ammo, and chooses to carry it around the ranch instead of carrying his 9x19mm handgun.

I know nothing of guns themselves so I can't speak to the usefulness of the types they have or what sorts of wild animals they have around there, but predator control comes to mind (think foxes and stuff) and euthanasia.

That meme gun and its proprietary cartridge isn't particularly effective against common predators or pests. Using it in such a manner would probably violate the hunting rule "cause no unnecessary suffering to your quarry", too, if it isn't a one-hit kill.

Either a rifle or a more conventional handgun cartridge (.45 ACP or .357 magnum) would be much better.

 

[Kamov Ka-52]

Phil owns an FN Five-seveN, which is chambered for 5.7x28mm ammunition, and that shit is more expensive than the common handgun ammo. Here's the lowest price per round currently listed on AmmoSeek:
9mm Luger (9x19mm): 16.5 cents per round
.45 ACP: 40 cents per round
5.7x28mm: 60 cents per round

In other words, he bought an expensive meme gun that requires expensive ammo, and chooses to carry it around the ranch instead of carrying his 9x19mm handgun.

You're really underselling how poor a choice the Five-Seven is. Despite the much higher cost per round, 5.7x28 offers relatively negligible benefits over 9x19. Further, it's not nearly as readily available commercially as 9mm, .380ACP, .45 etc. It's also basically useless when compared to an AR/AK, a 9mm rifle, or shit, even a .22LR rifle really, for what tasks a firearm would have on a ranch, (most notably as a varmint gun to deal with pest animals).

For the same price as one Five-Seven he could've built two AR pattern rifles (assembling a complete upper and lower is as simple as inserting a takedown pin), and had enough money to spare for ammo. Alternatively he could've done an AR SBR build (including the cost of the NFA tax stamp) and had the money for a decent pistol chambered in an actually useful cartridge left over.

That's not even touching on the options that exist for milsurp, former LEO, and used firearms (for example he could've bought around 3 SKSs or 4 Yugo M57s along with ammo for the same price as the Five-Seven), or cheap but surprisingly reliable shit like Hi-Point pistols and carbines.

Also, as an aside, I have no idea why you'd buy a Springfield Hellcat over a XDs.

TL;DR: The Five-Seven is a meme gun chambered in a proprietary meme round the world's militaries and law enforcement agencies collectively decided was cost ineffective. It's a gun you drag out of your safe to show off to your friends, but you never shoot because ammo is already fucking expensive enough in the 'cheap' calibers. Also, no surprise they're shitty at LARPing as gunspergs, are bad with money, and have terrible taste in firearms.

Edit: corrected pistol AR build to SBR, thanks @Particle Bored

 

[SIGSEGV]

That meme gun and its proprietary cartridge isn't particularly effective against common predators or pests. Using it in such a manner would probably violate the hunting rule "cause no unnecessary suffering to your quarry", too, if it isn't a one-hit kill.

Some search result snippets mentioned that 5.7x28mm was good for hunting, but it turns out they were talking about using a PS90, not a Five-seveN.

Either a rifle or a more conventional handgun cartridge (.45 ACP or .357 magnum) would be much better.

Hell, an air rifle would be a better option than the Five-seveN for things like rat.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Some search result snippets mentioned that 5.7x28mm was good for hunting, but it turns out they were talking about using a PS90, not a Five-seveN.

Hell, an air rifle would be a better option than the Five-seveN for things like rat.

A quick search revealed PS90s come with 16" barrels, which are adequate for hunting, especially using the newest soft-point SS197SR cartridge. A 4.75" barrel? No, not a chance. Speed is the greatest requirement for proper projectile deformation, and a projectile shot out the Five-seveN loses most of its velocity and energy at 50 yards.

Hunting handguns are chambered for heavy, slow projectiles, typically over .357 Magnum that retain more of their energy. Except if you're Paul Harrell, but I'd be surprised if Pennywise was even a quarter of a man compared to him.

 

[Particle Bored]

There's no block button on a 9mm round, after all.

Even harder to block a 5.7.

Alternatively he could've done an AR pistol build (including the cost of the NFA tax stamp) and had the money for a decent pistol chambered in an actually useful cartridge left over.

Don't need an NFA stamp if it's properly configured as a pistol.

 

[Troon Anthropologist]

Kev still talking about his gross botched amhole
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Cow crossover...
Rani, no! Stop! Get away from the am hole!

 

[Spunt]

For shooting varmints or hunting game, you need range and accuracy. Animals (especially pest animals that might prey on Alpacas like Coyotes) are smaller than people, move faster than people and keep their distance from people. Either you use a good rifle for a precision shot or blast them with a shotgun, accuracy be damned. A short-barrel high-calibre pistol is just about the worst weapon for the job in every way. They are designed for shooting people at close range in enclosed situations where the superior handling of a pistol is an advantage and you don't need pinpoint accuracy. Such as blowing away a dickless manbaby hiding behind a wall of stuffed animals when you finally tire of his shit, for example.

 

[homewayhalf]

I feel like Kevin gets out of basic Ranch chores due to his healing crotch wound. Sort of like those Tumblr “spoonies” who “can’t work.” Plus, the Troon Ranch claims to be so supportive of troons that it would be bad PR to force a troon who is still recovering from bottom surgery to work.

 

[Migraine Box]

You're really underselling how poor a choice the Five-Seven is. Despite the much higher cost per round, 5.7x28 offers relatively negligible benefits over 9x19. Further, it's not nearly as readily available commercially as 9mm, .380ACP, .45 etc. It's also basically useless when compared to an AR/AK, a 9mm, or shit, even a .22LR rifle really, for what tasks a firearm would have on a ranch. (Most notably as a varmit gun to deal with pest animals).

For the same price as one Five-Seven he could've built two AR pattern rifles (assembling a complete upper and lower is as simple as inserting a takedown pin), for around the same price point (~$1,110) and had enough money to spare for ammo. Alternatively he could've done an AR SBR build (including the cost of the NFA tax stamp) and had the money for a decent pistol chambered in an actually useful cartridge left over.

That's not even touching on the options that exist for milsurp, former LEO, and used firearms (for example he could've bought around 3 SKSs or four Yugo M57s with ammo for the same price as the Five-Seven), or cheap but surprisingly reliable shit like Hi-Point pistols.

He could've outfitted the entire ranch with Ruger 10/22s (one of the best varmint rifles imo) and enough .22lr ammo to go to war with a small nation for that price as well, lmao. But no, waste your money on FN's embarrassment. Sure, why not.

I'd also place money that they've never even fired the fuckin Five-Seven. The Hellcat? Maybe, it's got some dings, though maybe they bought it second hand. I'd guaran-fuckin-tee if they ever tried target practice at the compound ranch, Kev would fire up a twitter storm over how frightening and terrifying the sounds were and how it'd give him/trigger PTSD or something.

 

[RIP Tranch]

Kev still talking about his gross botched amhole

Jesus fucking Christ, Kevin. What a car crash.

Does he seriously think it's a good idea to intentionally make his wound scab into bandages and rip them off? You're not removing hair with a wax strip you fucking lunatic.

You have to be into self-harm to enjoy getting your cock lopped off in the first place, and Kevin talks a lot about wanting to heal, but his actions indicate that he's hellbent on stopping the healing process. No wonder he's months behind schedule. First it's not dilating as much as he should, then it's sitting in piss all day instead of letting it dry, and now this. What the fuck.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I feel like Kevin gets out of basic Ranch chores due to his healing crotch wound. Sort of like those Tumblr “spoonies” who “can’t work.” Plus, the Troon Ranch claims to be so supportive of troons that it would be bad PR to force a troon who is still recovering from bottom surgery to work.

You know, that's a good point you raise there, Kevvie's ongoing rot pocket woes are also a get out of work free card. Also a 'no sex allowed yet hnnnnnnnnn' card.

While I totally don't doubt at all that the thing is a disaster that isn't healing (just because well, that's sort of the nature of the beast), I almost wonder if he subconsciously sabotages the healing process a bit with things like his diapers or megadildos. Being fully healed up means a lot of things he's just not ready to face-- an obligation to be useful, facing the fact that none of his housemates want to sex him, and acknowledging to himself that as much as he thirsts on twitter that shit is never gonna be a functional hole.

Prolly it's just a disaster though.

 

[kaien]

Also, as an aside, I have no idea why you'd buy a Springfield Hellcat over a XDs.

I'm guessing Travis Bickle fantasies about using it as a holdout. And/or because he thought the name was cool.

Some search result snippets mentioned that 5.7x28mm was good for hunting, but it turns out they were talking about using a PS90, not a Five-seveN.

Hunting with a PS90 would still be pretty stupid anyhow, given that it costs a fucking fortune compared to any number of other options that perform as well or better.

 

[stupid moron]

I feel like Kevin gets out of basic Ranch chores due to his healing crotch wound. Sort of like those Tumblr “spoonies” who “can’t work.” Plus, the Troon Ranch claims to be so supportive of troons that it would be bad PR to force a troon who is still recovering from bottom surgery to work.

I wonder if it's even simpler and since he whines about everything nobody wants to ask him to help out because it would be too annoying

 

[0 0]

In regards to the ranch, the "Tenacious Unicorn Ranch" is already in this thread's title.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

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"granulation on my clitoral hood"
"stitches popped near the entrance and it still hasn't closed up"

Just like a real woman! I'm sure all the ladies here know that girly feeling when your vagina splits into two and bright red scar tissue forms around your cilt for no apparent reason.