Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,662
What IS it with fat bitches and White Claw? Like, get some vodka and some seltzer water. That's all it is. It's a lot cheaper. And you're not fat because booze, you're fat because booze AND food AND lazy. Replacing a couple ice cream booze drinks ain't gonna melt the pounds off.

And of COURSE she want her okra fried into chip form.
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I doubt very much she gagged down a bag of freeze dried okra. People who actually enjoy things like okra and vodka club sodas don't tend to weigh 400 lbs but nice try Tess. The "eating scalloped potatoes on the toilet" story was fucking gross but I could at least respect the honesty there.
 
And that is one of my biggest grievances with these people. They are always on about FA, HAES, loving your body, etc., etc., yet they have no problem being a drain on society in life AND in death.
That drives me insane. No matter how big of an asshole I am in life, in death I'll be just another stiff. Not an inconvenience, just a job to do. Deathfats have managed to transcend even death in how they piss off and harm everyone around them.
 
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You know, I'm not black, but if I was, being told my life is "traumatizing" because of it by some fat nasty white bitch would kind of piss me off. I don't know what happened one way or the other in the Arbery case but why does it only to be fat white women virtue signalling about how he dindu nuffin all over Twitter? Let the man's family speak at least for Christ's sake.
 
You know, I'm not black, but if I was, being told my life is "traumatizing" because of it by some fat nasty white bitch would kind of piss me off. I don't know what happened one way or the other in the Arbery case but why does it only to be fat white women virtue signalling about how he dindu nuffin all over Twitter? Let the man's family speak at least for Christ's sake.
Woke politics always ends up sounding more racist than intended. I think most black people would be insulted if someone said their existence is traumatizing for them. I haven’t kept up with the case either, but all over social media I see people falling over themselves to show how not racist they are. If the man was murdered in cold blood, there should absolutely be justice, but the way this story has been astroturfed has made me apathetic. It’s times like this that I wish the media would back off and let the courts decide without having everyone say their hot takes online. The fact the story made national headlines means that while the situation is terrible, it luckily isn’t a common occurrence.
 
Being called a crazy bitch by your toddler isn't funny or something to brag about, you fatass.

I would've had my mouth washed out with soap, but I wouldn't have called my mom this in the first place.
Tess is one of those parents that can't be bothered to discipline her child's bad language until he offends someone, then Tess will be pissed off that someone took offense to her kids bad language.
 
Being called a crazy bitch by your toddler isn't funny or something to brag about, you fatass.

I would've had my mouth washed out with soap, but I wouldn't have called my mom this in the first place.
Tess is one of those parents that can't be bothered to discipline her child's bad language until he offends someone, then Tess will be pissed off that someone took offense to her kids bad language.

If being called a "crazy bitch" won't affect her, being called a "fat whore" might. Bowie's probably looking for any kind of reaction, and if he doesn't get one with mild language, he'll go for the jugular. Boy oh boy, this is really going to bite Tess in her oversized arse down the line. It's becoming more and more likely Bowie will eventually be able to out-nasty his mom.
 
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These two fart sniffers should have both kids taken by DCFS.

Nick gives a lecture on how he is a great father to the three year old who hasn't seen him in six months, and the 13 year old who he lived with for only three years and has now been sent to live on his own with a man who isnt a vetted foster parent and could be doing anything to him.

A++ #1 father
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Oh, Nick has that 'child as extension of self and ego' thing down pat. Essentially kids are great because they are YOU, and teach YOU about YOU ... and CHANGE YOU, therein lies their real purpose, not to be individuals in their own right. It's a vanity thing, really, existing as bit players in the utterly self-absorbed parent's personal drama. Tess does it too, all the time. Both Tess and Nick are immature and narcissistic in spades, and underneath the narcissism lies, as ever, a deep well of insecurity. This type of person exclaims endlessly about how Having Kids Changed Me because just to keep them alive, they had to actually think about someone other than themselves for a few minutes at a time. That speaks to how low down the scale of maturity they were before, rather than the alleged personal growth and brilliance kids have dubiously inspired in them (neither Tess nor Nick really gives a fuck about the kids still beyond how they add to their image).

He's babbling away about What My Kids Teach Me (Tess does this too, it's practically a trope at this point for idiots with kids) when he's been away from them for six months with no real hope of ever returning. It doesn't matter. They've already served their purpose, now Nick can talk about Being a Father for the rest of his life. He can be the Wise Gay Enby Elder giving life and parenting lessons to the credulous younger ones, and maybe even score some hookups that way. Yay!

I would bet he doesn't see Bowie again for a couple of years, minimum, if at all.

ETA: Oh, and if Bowie is throwing out language like 'crazy bitch' it's because Tess and Jolene use that phrase around him, and/or they let him view totally age-inappropriate media. Also, he's four, Tess, not a toddler. Toddlers are 1-3 years old. Four is beyond the toddler stage.
 
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These two fart sniffers should have both kids taken by DCFS.

Nick gives a lecture on how he is a great father to the three year old who hasn't seen him in six months, and the 13 year old who he lived with for only three years and has now been sent to live on his own with a man who isnt a vetted foster parent and could be doing anything to him.

A++ #1 father
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Nick, your Dad has never told you he's proud of you because (judging by the mountain of evidence you've offered over the last few years) he has no goddamned reason to. You're a mooch and a fuckup, perennially full of excuses and cheap self-help justifications for why you can never get your shit together and take responsibility for yourself. You came America to mooch off a deathpig you believed was a successful model, knocked her up, had a kid, and once her fleeting success was dead and she'd had enough of your shit, abandoned your kid to run back to Australia and mooch off Mum and Dad because you were too much of an unskilled, worthless deadweight to make any sort of living in LA. Your parents have taken you, the prodigal, back in, yet you're bitching about them (or at least your dad) online, under your own name.

No, nothing to be proud of here; I'm on Team Dad for this one.
 
I doubt very much she gagged down a bag of freeze dried okra. People who actually enjoy things like okra and vodka club sodas don't tend to weigh 400 lbs but nice try Tess. The "eating scalloped potatoes on the toilet" story was fucking gross but I could at least respect the honesty there.
I love death fats pretending they eat like skinny vegan health nuts. Tess must have had some Chantal size binges this week to feel the need to post photos of freeze dried okra snacks. (I’m sure she was disappointed it doesn’t taste anything like the fried okra she eats with fried chicken.)

Nick, your Dad has never told you he's proud of you because (judging by the mountain of evidence you've offered over the last few years) he has no goddamned reason to. You're a mooch and a fuckup, perennially full of excuses and cheap self-help justifications for why you can never get your shit together and take responsibility for yourself. You came America to mooch off a deathpig you believed was a successful model, knocked her up, had a kid, and once her fleeting success was dead and she'd had enough of your shit, abandoned your kid to run back to Australia and mooch off Mum and Dad because you were too much of an unskilled, worthless deadweight to make any sort of living in LA. Your parents have taken you, the prodigal, back in, yet you're bitching about them (or at least your dad) online, under your own name.

No, nothing to be proud of here; I'm on Team Dad for this one.
It’s typical White trash response, kid either gets hit or it‘s hilarious depending entirely on the mood of the parent. There is no consistency in discipline, it’s all at the moody whims of the parent. I’d be mortified if my toddler said that to me. (Then again given the women Bowie is exposed to I guess its an accurate term, but narcissistic fat cunt would better describe his reality.)

The kid knows the word Bitch from his home. Kids pick up those words at school once they are 5-6 but a kid Bowie’s age using that term is almost always thanks to hearing mom use it. If his brother was living at home I might give him credit, but Tess offloaded him a year ago.

Good rule with kids - if the comeback or response is actually witty or thoughtful they get a pass. If the kid is just name calling, insulting, or using “bad” words they get punished as much for laziness/unoriginality as terrible manners and disrespect. If a kid is going to take the chance to piss off an adult they better aim for Oscar Wilde, not Ronnie Dobbs.
 
I love death fats pretending they eat like skinny vegan health nuts. Tess must have had some Chantal size binges this week to feel the need to post photos of freeze dried okra snacks. (I’m sure she was disappointed it doesn’t taste anything like the fried okra she eats with fried chicken.)

I’ve had that okra and it‘s 100% junk food. It’s delicious, but it’s super salty and greasy and covered in flavoring. People think it’s healthy because it’s a vegetable, but forget that potatoes are also full of nutrition and pretty healthy as well until you cover them in shit and fry them.
 
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