Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Questionable Ceviche]

I wish we could be there to see the undertaker's face when she's on their slab (probably soon), and he/she is trying to figure out how to make what's in front of him presentable for an open casket funeral.

"This big ol' bitch embalmed already, and she still this greasy!?"

Deathfats like Tess cause a lot more problems for funeral directors than just trying to make them look good. Obese bodies burn longer and hotter than normal sized human bodies due to all the extra fuel. Normal crematoriums were not designed to handle such large bodies and may not be able to accommodate the intense, long-duration heat. Additionally, all the extra fat renders during the cremation, liquefying and potentially overflowing from the tray. It's been causing a lot of fires at crematoriums, and existing facilities are remodeling to add 'high capacity' chambers specifically for deathfats over 300lbs.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

I think the lines across her nose are stray wisps of hair.

You'd think a model would know the difference between 'glowing' & shiny/greasy.

Glowing skin, when not painted on with makeup, comes from typically good health & good blood circulation to the skin providing a rosy tone.

I can't for the life of me figure out what she's doing to make her face look like it's had a bad coat of varnish applied.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[multiverse]

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Not her neighbors - Jolene's neighbors. And she's bragging about a "photoshoot" via facetime done for funsies without an actual client. This is an unpaid gig for some chick's etsy store. This is once more a hobby, not a job. You're homeless and gave one of your children up rather than get a job. Get over yourself.

 

[SnarkySperg]

this is a little late and all, but this is shocking to brag about. He doesn't even live with her, and there is no indication they see each other at all. She can take zero credit for "raising" him tbh, and she made the very risky decision to leave her son with an unrelated adult man, who may or may not have an innocent reason for wanting to live with an 8th grade boy. iirc the ex boyfriend doesn't have any of his own kids, which is a huge red flag to me. The only childless adults that are okay living with random kids are supposed to get vetted through adoption programs, and it is hard to get approved for a reason. There are a lot of creeps out there. And creeps are very good at making children think that abuse is actually love, so they won't speak up about what is happening to them. I hope nothing bad is going on, but I have a hunch that this is a bad situation.

This is scary. I guarantee that Rylee already has a warped sense of love from his mother. I doubt it would be that difficult to groom him so he could be abused further. I feel so, so bad for him. I hope that he took him in because they did truly have a bond and he missed him, but I don't know, and the odds of sexual abuse (and other abuse I'm sure) are higher when living with a nonbiological parent.

People like Tess are fun to laugh at until they have kids.

 

[Barbarella]

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What is that fold?

I just did that exact thing. Wtf?

 

[multiverse]

What IS it with fat bitches and White Claw? Like, get some vodka and some seltzer water. That's all it is. It's a lot cheaper. And you're not fat because booze, you're fat because booze AND food AND lazy. Replacing a couple ice cream booze drinks ain't gonna melt the pounds off.

And of COURSE she want her okra fried into chip form.

 

[SnarkySperg]

What IS it with fat bitches and White Claw? Like, get some vodka and some seltzer water. That's all it is. It's a lot cheaper. And you're not fat because booze, you're fat because booze AND food AND lazy. Replacing a couple ice cream booze drinks ain't gonna melt the pounds off.

And of COURSE she want her okra fried into chip form.
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Oh my god why is she sticking her tongue out? That's trashy.

It's also trashy to brag about drinking and partying all the time. On occasion, sure, whatever, talk about going out to the club with your girls. Adults drink and that's fine. But it's like she wants her personality to be 'cool wine aunt' when it's not something to brag about.

 

[Easy Peasy]

There's a technique in fashion photography, when shooting in black and white, to use Vaseline or mineral oil on the skin to create exaggerated highlight effects.

Greasy from fillers and fat isn't quite the same thing, I don't think...

edit because words are hard

 

[proxysox]

Greased Pig in a Bikini (circa 2020, colorized)
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Jesus Christ, she looks disgusting! A mountain of blubber.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Are you going to do anything about it, or are you just going to whine on social media about it? If you virtue signal this much, at least back it up by donating, volunteering, or something.

 

[SnarkySperg]

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Are you going to do anything about it, or are you just going to whine on social media about it? If you virtue signal this much, at least back it up by donating, volunteering, or something.

So wait. She's signal boosting. That is the second shittiest way to get your point across (the first being virtue signaling). I don't know what she's talking about, but, like, maybe if it bothers you, you should call the police? I assume there's a reason they aren't in jail and I'm also assuming that reason is that the murder was justified somehow and not just 'well these two guys are racist and so is every cop on the police force!' Could be wrong, but yeah. If you care, Tess, call the fucking cops. Donate to BLM. Do something besides just post this shit on an Insta story that will disappear in 24 hours.

 

[MathildaLeon]

Holy shit her titties are not only bigger than her face, they also look like udders! What a textbook definition of a fat THOT! Her face seems to resemble a more feminine version of Steven Assanti as well.

As appalling and ridiculous as that guy was at least he lost weight. Granted he did get weight loss surgery to do it but hey.

Someone might be a bit thirsty...
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Of course she would crop out that mutton leg of an arm and focus only on her udders. I doubt she even got out of the car and had Jolene pay for everything including that toliet paper.

 

[burntgrilledcheese]

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That dangling upper thigh chunk is so gross

 

[Flawmil]

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Are you going to do anything about it, or are you just going to whine on social media about it? If you virtue signal this much, at least back it up by donating, volunteering, or something.

Tess loves using “we” which is so irritating and most likely insulting to anyone in black lives matter. “We feel this way” sincerely a fat white bitch from Mississippi.

 

[bloomingcactus]

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Are you going to do anything about it, or are you just going to whine on social media about it? If you virtue signal this much, at least back it up by donating, volunteering, or something.

Posting this shit just makes people that haven't heard of it more interested. I am going to look Ahmaud up now to see what the story is. Probably going to watch the video. The Streisand effect ftw.

 

[Pina Colada]

This fat, stupid, child abandoning bitch is bragging on how Rylee is getting awards at school for academic performance since she left him with an old ex boyfriend - which is proof of what a great job she's doing, in her opinion! Oh, and she doxes the ex's (John) private Instagram.
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This shit steams me. She can't let Rylee have one fucking achievement without her stealing his thunder because anything he does is because of her. How else is she supposed to soothe her ego when he starts thriving after she's out of his life?

He looks like he lost some weight as well- I can see a difference in his face and legs compared to a few months back! Here's hoping he gets a growth spurt to even things out.

It's really something to be optimistic yet upset about considering all he's been through, and the bitch has the nerve to make it all about "me, me, me".

 

[bloomingcactus]

This knee looks like a stump and a prosthetic below it.

 

[Antipathy]

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This knee looks like a stump and a prosthetic below it.

That's... holy shit that isn't even human.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

Deathfats like Tess cause a lot more problems for funeral directors than just trying to make them look good. Obese bodies burn longer and hotter than normal sized human bodies due to all the extra fuel. Normal crematoriums were not designed to handle such large bodies and may not be able to accommodate the intense, long-duration heat. Additionally, all the extra fat renders during the cremation, liquefying and potentially overflowing from the tray. It's been causing a lot of fires at crematoriums, and existing facilities are remodeling to add 'high capacity' chambers specifically for deathfats over 300lbs.

Burying a deathfat in one of those huge coffins is also more difficult because a bigger hole has to be dug. Here is a link to a very informative video on the whole subject, for those who are interested.

And that is one of my biggest grievances with these people. They are always on about FA, HAES, loving your body, etc., etc., yet they have no problem being a drain on society in life AND in death.