Careercow Andrew Dobson (aka Tom Preston)

[SteelPlatedHeart]

I can already see Dobson's storyboards.

Dobson: And in this scene Pearl is struck by Inflationwoman's inflation beam and begins to inflate into a giant balloon shape.
Sugar: That's not the script.
Dobson: You didn't let me finish! Seeing her friend's life in danger, Garnet jumps in front of the beam too! The inflation beam breaks Garnet apart, but Ruby and Sapphire begin to inflate, too.
Sugar: Just stop...
Dobson: Not finished! And that's when they realize the only way to save themselves is to use the most powerful magic known to Gemkind: the Lesbian Kiss. So Pearl, Ruby and Sapphire in their hyper inflated states begin to make out, getting a little handsy just to really stick it to the dudebros and...
Sugar: Get out.
Dobson: *fap* *fap* *fap*

 

[Gensdupays]

Spergy lolcows are attracted to cartoons for whatever reason so popular animated shows are doomed to have the worst kind of fanbase.

Steven Universe and MLP moreso, though. MLP and Adventure Time kind of blazed that trail but only SU managed to hit the right points again.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

I don't want to be the new bronies.

Don't worry, you're not bronies! You're more like the bigger, better, and more retarded sequel to bronies, social justice zealot edition.

Dobson and Connor should team up and make a cartoon about lesbian teen Molly ringwalds in a post apocalyptic high school.

Also there will be a fat, balding cartoonist who falls in love with Brianna Wu and desperately wants to fuck her in the belly button with ice cubes, but this dream is never fulfilled.
He dies by jerking it too much to porn of women blowing up.

Spoiler

The dream was always the same.
He would be sketching with a No. 2 pencil and copy paper, or coloring his art without using layers, as he always did when he wasn't defending Brianna Wu on Twitter, which admittedly was not that often. There would be no new instances of Problematic depictions of Women in Gaming that day, which was a rarity in his life. There was no one to bother him while he viewed pornographic fanart of Korrasami. He would, for not the first time, feel lust for Brianna Wu's lady penis, which enveloped him as it did most of his waking hours.
All of a sudden against the blue sky, misogynist Gamergaters and meanie critics would descend from the heavens. The blue bear knew he needed to defend his maiden from this harassment so perhaps afterwards Brianna would ravish him. Unfortunately he was not powerful like a real bear and could only whine ineffectually. "YOU EVIL GAMERGATERS I'M BLOCKING YOU STOP HARASSING M'LADY," he shrieked. Just as he was beginning to be engulfed by the Gamergaters and haters, he caught Brianna herself in the corner of his eye and began masturbating furiously.
"omgosh this is what you have to deal with every second of your life brianna you're so brave," said the blue bear as the swarm grew around him. Did Brianna hear? For once she responded.
"Fuck you."
He dived into the pile of Gamergaters and went down after them.
And down.
And down.
And down.
Andrew Dobson had this nightmare for the past thirty years.

(my writing is about as good as Connor's so it's perfect right???)

 

[AnOminous]

He dies by jerking it too much to porn of women blowing up.

For added irony points, while watching porn of women being inflated, he dies of autoerotic asphyxiation.

 

[Meowthkip]

That'll be grand, then about 5 minutes later, he gets the pink slip.

He'd beat the record Harlan Ellison set at Disney for "fastest firing from an animation studio."

 

[Jaimas]

Another reason that SU has become Tumblrista central is because even the MLP fans are sick of the SJWs' shit.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

His patreon is something else. Reminder that he wants this amount per month so I'm going to put what he wants a year for this.
$1,200 for 12 desktop backgrounds.
$1,800 for the above and he'll rebuild his websites.
$2,100 for the above and he'll host a Minecraft server.
$2,400 for the above and he'll write a children's rhyme book about Skyrim.
$3,600 for the above and he'll make 52 comic pages.
$7,200 for the above and he'll make an unspecified number of podcasts a month.
$8,400 for the above and he'll donate money to other patreons.
$24,000 for the above and he'll buy himself a new computer and tablet.

Edit: I'm not able to capture it on my phone, but Dobson has had a Twitter meltdown over someone asking why he doesn't draw backgrounds in his comics. But no one ever says good job drawing this comic after having an anxiety attack, just why isn't there a background! (Paraphrasing)

 

[Jaimas]

8,400 for the above and he'll donate money to other patreons.

He already donates to Wu's.

 

[Dudeofteenage]

I like how he claims he has been through "literal hell".

I had a big thing about how this shows that his commitment to progressive politics is skin-deep, but you know what, fuck it. Analysing the psychosocial impulses that make Dobson a self-pitying shitheel is like analysing the chemical compounds that make shit smell bad.

 

[tepid]

$2,100 for the above and he'll host a Minecraft server.

What does this have to do with his work which is what we're supposed to be giving patronage to… funny to see DSP and Dobby trying to pander to a fad 2-3 years too late.

There is definitely a ManchildCore aesthetic to video making as you can see in this and MovieBob/AVGN

• Very poor quality video
• Very poor quality acting
• Dated electronics/consoles
• Nintendo characters either as sprites or CDi Zelda tier animation
• Things getting blown up and protagonist being shocked, something being blown up is usually the punchline
• Fat guys in fedoras
• After Effects work that weirdly amateurish when just following tutorials would result in something better

 

[MayMay]

What does this have to do with his work which is what we're supposed to be giving patronage to… funny to see DSP and Dobby trying to pander to a fad 2-3 years too late.


There is definitely a ManchildCore aesthetic to video making as you can see in this and MovieBob/AVGN

• Very poor quality video
• Very poor quality acting
• Dated electronics/consoles
• Nintendo characters either as sprites or CDi Zelda tier animation
• Things getting blown up and protagonist being shocked, something being blown up is usually the punchline
• Fat guys in fedoras
• After Effects work that weirdly amateurish when just following tutorials would result in something better

Well the video mirror is from 2012 so not really that dated, pretty sure the Wii U was only released late 2012.

Still, might as well have had CD-I Link in there... if he wasn't ambiguously blond of course.

 

[Daario Naharis]

So, I read his recent Tweets and it got me thinking.

Where exactly does Dobson think he's going with all of this? (To paraphrase How to Train Your Dragon - "You just gestured to all of me." "Exactly.")

I mean, I'll go ahead and be optimistic, I gather that he wants to go somewhere professional with this? I mean, I take the Stephen Universe Story Boarder tweet as a sign that he does at least want to move up in the professional artistic world but... His behaviour seems to be counter intuitive to this.

Dobson, I'd once have been skeptical about your reading this thread. Then I saw the "Andrew Dobson Thread Bingo" comic and do wonder.... So I'll phrase this as though I'm speaking to you.

Where do you think you are going? Like... You tweeted about Portfolios being hard. Okay. You think you are going to march into an interview with the Stephen Universe execs, have a mediocre portfolio, say "Well, look, I've been through literal hell. People online have been bullying me for a decade. I had a break down in 2012 and I'm just building up again." and they are going to just go "Sir. I sympathize with your struggles. You're just the sort of man we want on our team. We need no evidence that you can perform as to our specifications. YOU'RE HIRED!"

You tweet about your work people criticizing as though they are these frivolous doodles and it's ridiculous that they are taking them seriously.

Then what exactly do you think you are going to impress the Stephen Universe execs with?

I just... Don't get you Dobson. I mean, what is your plan? To be living off of Patreon money making doodles about how omg it's such bullshit that they put guys on the princess leia comic and that's toxic masculinity omg when you are in your sixties?

If you are a young professional who is really gunning for a job at Stephen Universe... Then you are either terribly misguided, Stephen Universe has very low standards, or... I wonder why you hide your quality work so much.

If you are reading this, I am sure you are thinking it's like "Be as NASTY as you want! Then say it's to help you develop."

No. It's not. I'm not trying to help you develop. I'm trying to understand this myself. To understand where you think you are going... I mean... I'm quite serious... Say you had been right on the ball with that Stephen Universe thing... How do you think the interview would have gone?

Do you think they would have gone "Oh you poor man. You are hired because you've had such a tough time." or do you think when they vocalized concerns about weaknesses in your work that they would have accepted "It's just a doodle"?

I don't get you, Dobson. Sure, I don't work in the arts but as a professional, I just don't get you...

 

[Positron]

No Dobby just want to twist the story to better suit his lesbian fetish. Dobby gonna dobb.

Time for another pity party guys:


Estimated time required for rebuilding: 475 years 5 months and 14 days.

 

[Philosophy Zombie]

This is obviously a man who has great passion for his craft.

 

[ZehnBoat]

$1,200 for 12 desktop backgrounds.

100 bucks for a really good picture is worth it

but dobson's work is so bland and flat, i would be hard pressed to find anything of his worth 5

 

[chimpburgers]

No Dobby just want to twist the story to better suit his lesbian fetish. Dobby gonna dobb.

Time for another pity party guys:


Estimated time required for rebuilding: 475 years 5 months and 14 days.

I sure never saw that with his "art." Less talk, more action, Dobby.

 

[Positron]

Nah, backgrounds are superfluous as they do not increase his fapping pleasure.

 

[MayMay]

You know, that backgrounds thing might fly.

if he actually did backgrounds in anything else at all.

 

[AzureGaru]

I miss the old Tom; the hardcore Nintendo fanboy, the one that actually cared for his shitty OCs, the one that blamed anime for his artistic skills,the one that made a huge deal about Link's hair color, etc. He was annoying but he had an identity and his own opinions, now he just regurgitates everything BAD feminists like Brianna Wu and Aaron Diaz says. He seemed happier back then.

 

[Smokey]

Spoiler