Which lolcow would you unironically sex?

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DiddyKongMain1989 said:
Aydin Paladin - I like her weird face, can't figure out why.

Frankly I'm disgusted with myself.
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She's the epitome of the French term 'Jolie laide', literally meaning 'ugly beautiful' (because of course the French would have a phrase for unconventionally pretty, they made a star out of Beatrice Dhall)

I'll make the boringly vanilla pick and say Brittany Venti, assuming that I can have her washed (and de-loused) before being brought to my room.
 
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Heretics on Holiday and the Fit Vegan Ginger. Both. At the same time. Playing "Spooky Scary Skeletons" on repeat.

I must single-handedly fulfill the prophecy that Deagle Nation left unfulfilled.
 
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Qliphoth said:
Heidi from Projared
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Heidi was a piece of ass: I'd definitely smash.

As what everyone else has said, shoeonhead for sure. She's actually really cute, and I always thought that before she devolved into a lolcow.

I'd definitely fuck one of those random Twitch thots (except Alinity): they're definitely attractive for sure, it's just their personalities that are trash. I guess that's why I'd hate-fuck them.

Anita Sarkeesian can look fuckable on a good day; I wouldn't say she's hot at all. But what to know what's weird? There's a popular kink/femdom dominatrix who's the spitting image of Anita, and I've seen people in comments sections of Pornhub videos theorize that she's either Anita's alter ego or sister:

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She's ethnically ambiguous, so it's hard to tell if she's Armenian like Anita or if she's a cockroach Turk. She might even be a La Goblina like AOC.

Xenomorphs Are Cute said:
Sarah Wiedenheft, people from the Weeb Wars may know her as the "hypocrite who wanted Vic Mignogna to be jailed for never proven MeToo allegations yet wanted her pedo brother not to be punished, eventhough Police arrested him & he was a confirmed pedo some months later, who left with just community service & an official SO registration. She's not as much of a lolcow herself, but she is & I don't know the language of the farms well so it may be wrong, a horrorcow apologist.

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She looks like Ariel from Little Mermaid IRL. Don't know if that's intentional or not.
 
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I’d push Destiny up against a wall and throw some dick straight up his tight little pussy like Patrick Swayze did to that chick in Road House. Hearing his whiny voice moaning into my ear like a bitch in heat while he takes a ride on the assblaster express would make me cum so hard it would launch him into the ceiling. Then I’d take a picture of his blown out hole and spam it in chat every time he streams just so his retarded fans can know what a twinky bottom bitch he is.
 
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Either Shoe On Head or Sheila Allen.

Bonus points for Sheila since she's crazy and you know what they say about crazy in the sack. She also used to be an escort so most users here probably stand a shot with her provided you pony up some cash or UFO footage.

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As long as we're all exposing ourselves here a few that have been mentioned already like Momokun, Brittany Venti, Contrapoints and James Charles as well as a new offering in Gail Chord Schuler. I like older women as well as that Sunday school teacher look and she goes alright for a chick in her late 50s.
 
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