Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%
  • Total voters
    1,395
JimmyNeutronWasATerrorist said:
There are a few things to unpack in Jack's review here:

1. He's bitching about "slender" chicken wings. I do not know what he's talking about. Those wings look normal to me and I'm sure they'd taste alright.

2. He talks about the place having a pizza cutting problem. Just cut it yourself if you have a problem with how they cut it, fatass. You could even have Junior do it if you're too lazy to do it yourself.

3. The slices at Pitchfork Pizza are "one bite" according to Jack. Anything is probably going to be "one bite" if you have a huge fucking greasy maw instead of a normal sized mouth like the rest of us do.

4. He says that there aren't enough toppings on the pizzas. There are certainly enough toppings even if they aren't distributed that great (but no one gives a shit about that, you'll get uneven toppings at almost any pizza place).
Click to expand...

Was just going to say that's par for the course with most hole-in-the-wall pizza joints. The one by my house is fantastic, but yeah, slices aren't always uniform, toppings not distributed evenly, etc. Jesus, it's like he expects his pizzas to be die stamped or something.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Miltank, feral cat #6385, Neckless and 9 others
CatFace said:
Oh man, ‘pizza cutting problem’? I think that comment in itself shows Jack’s twisted mind. What do you do when you get a pizza slice that was cut a little thin and you are still hungry? Grab another. Interesting he doesn’t mention a slice being too big. Only small and ‘proper’. If some are too thin one would imagine some are too big.

I usually try not to read too much into this sort of thing but to me it sounds a lot like either Big T or little j got a larger portion at some point and Jack drew the short straw. The wendigo needs more.
Click to expand...

They don't even look unevenly sliced in the photos he posted. Every slice looks normal and proportioned to the other ones evenly. I don't see what he's referring too by the slices being too uneven.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Cereal Killer, Mesh Gear Fox, beautiful person and 1 other person
jack's pretty active in FB this morning

"thank you for doing my laundry and preparing snacks for me"

1592848883613.png

"my job"

1592848843917.png


LOL

1592848794205.png
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Lunacy
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Miltank, Eryngium, Sundae and 18 others
LordofCringe7206 said:
They don't even look unevenly sliced in the photos he posted. Every slice looks normal and proportioned to the other ones evenly. I don't see what he's referring too by the slices being too uneven.
Click to expand...
The gluttonous moron doesn’t seem to even understand basic geometry, and the basis of his complaint all seems to boil down to him being upset that someone else in his family happened to receive a larger slice of pizza than himself. It’s not like he’s complaining about the cost of a single slice. No counter worker picked out the runt slice and charged him the same price they’d charge for their standard slice. Jack received two entire circular pizzas and is upset with how he was pressured into sharing them based on how they had been portioned.

Aaway said:
"thank you for doing my laundry and preparing snacks for me"
Click to expand...

Tammy might as well let Jack refer to her as mommy.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Miltank, Sundae, Cereal Killer and 15 others
RodDangerous said:
Father’s Day dinner was, of course, delivered. I guess Junior couldn’t be arsed to hand-deliver a burrito to the wendigo. Jack bitches about portions and sizes.

View attachment 1397320

View attachment 1397322 View attachment 1397323 View attachment 1397325
Click to expand...
The wings look pretty good, and while I'm not the biggest fan of how the pizzas look, I imagine they'd be fine (I just prefer thin crust unless it's Detroit or Chicago Style). That Fat Jack had to say that a slice is only a bite, that's on him fucking shoving the whole thing down his throat as he rolls his eyes like a shark; a normal human would probably need at least 3-5 to get to the crust, since while those seem to be small pizzas, they're still several inches across and they aren't fucking gluttons.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Winner
Reactions: stupidpieceofshit, Neckless, Wilhelm Bittrich and 10 others
Aaway said:
jack's pretty active in FB this morning

"thank you for doing my laundry and preparing snacks for me"

View attachment 1397825

"my job"

View attachment 1397824


LOL

View attachment 1397820
Click to expand...
What's with his obsession with food? No joke, it actually kind of disturbs me. Even though there are many people who are heavier than him, few have the single-minded focus on food that Jack does. Not just any food either, mostly just meat. I get that meat is fairly easy to cook and can absolutely amazing if it's done right, but Jack can't even do that! It almost reminds me of that guy who escaped NK's Camp 14 who says that he sees freedom whenever he sees a roast chicken. Does anybody know if Jack was starved as a child or anything? Not "he was a little hungry as a kid" starved, "he nearly died" starved.
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Agree
Reactions: Haramburger, Sundae, Cereal Killer and 13 others
The Cum Consumer said:
What's with his obsession with food? No joke, it actually kind of disturbs me. Even though there are many people who are heavier than him, few have the single-minded focus on food that Jack does. Not just any food either, mostly just meat. I get that meat is fairly easy to cook and can absolutely amazing if it's done right, but Jack can't even do that! It almost reminds me of that guy who escaped NK's Camp 14 who says that he sees freedom whenever he sees a roast chicken. Does anybody know if Jack was starved as a child or anything? Not "he was a little hungry as a kid" starved, "he nearly died" starved.
Click to expand...
food is pretty much the only thing jack lives for. i think he's even said he'd rather die than stop eating meat. like you mentioned, there are tons of people who are overweight/obese who eat far more than they should but i've never seen someone's life revolve around food like jack's does. the fact that his PC background is fucking wings and pizza says it all. nearly everything jack does in his daily life has to do with food in one way or another

he's said his family was poor growing up but based on his HS photo it doesn't look like jack was ever deprived of food
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Miltank, Sundae, Cereal Killer and 12 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back