Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[JambledUpWords]

Close your fucking mouth, you vapid mouth-breathing dingbat. FFS.

Every time Tess tries to do a serious model face, it ends up looking like a derp face.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Why is her chest so red?

 

[JambledUpWords]

Why is her chest so red?

I’m guessing she goes outside without sunscreen. Her arms are so heavy that I doubt she’d have the energy to put on sunscreen, especially after a full face of makeup.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

She's slimming her face so much at this point it's comical. Tess, we all know you have a balloon-head with three chins and the beginnings of jowls by now. Stop trying to pretend you have the slim face of a much younger woman.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

Is she trying to look sultry with that vacant eyed, open mouth pose? Because in reality it makes her look like she's ready to vacuum in another sheet cake or is LARPing a sex doll for a fetishist.

 

[multiverse]

Tess did another photo. This time her boobs are hanging out. There’s also a video of her just looking at herself.
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Why, why WHY do female obeasts think it's sexy to show off their ten foot long udders? They look like literal milk cows every time. It's so far from sexy.

 

[Water-T]

Is she trying to look sultry with that vacant eyed, open mouth pose? Because in reality it makes her look like she's ready to vacuum in another sheet cake or is LARPing a sex doll for a fetishist.

Tess - like all other deathfats - think that posing with their mouth agape lengthens the shape of their head and makes their face look slimmer. Tess could unhinge her jaw like a cottonmouth snake and she'd still look like a dead beached whale.

 

[bloomingcactus]

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How long before Tess gets called out for fetishizing black people?

I wonder how it feels being put on a billboard only because there's a company wanting to pander to your race. Just like Tess is by putting this on her feed.

Tess did another photo. This time her boobs are hanging out. There’s also a video of her just looking at herself.
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Those things are going to be bouncing off her knees as she gets older. Unsupported big tits don't age well.

 

[junafolia]

Yo is this our gorl on the Wish.com app store?

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Inadvertent project harpoon

 

[Poop Shoot]

I hope she sees it. Nothing triggers fats like the image of what could have been.

 

[Water-T]

Those things are going to be bouncing off her knees as she gets older. Unsupported big tits don't age well.

You're being too generous. Those babies are going to be dragging on the asphalt.

 

[MathildaLeon]

You're being too generous. Those babies are going to be dragging on the asphalt.

She'll tripping on them eventually. Granted she will still be able to walk.

 

[Pina Colada]

She'll tripping on them eventually. Granted she will still be able to walk.

>implying she can walk now

 

[multiverse]

I hope she sees it. Nothing triggers fats like the image of what could have been.

Oh, she's seen the Project Harpoon images of herself before. She threw a mighty hissy fit about them, somewhere around 2014. They triggered the hell out of her, and that was nearly 200 pounds ago.

Anyway, while we were making fun of Tess for Project Harpoon-ing her own face with that obvious shoop, we forgot to mention her skin is pitted like a genetically modified orange about to burst; that she's clearly sucking in her cheeks with the might of a foodhole practiced at swallowing sheet cakes whole; and that she simply painted some stripes in the middle of her jowls and now can't stop staring at herself in wonder.


She's exactly the type of person to keep telling the same "joke" multiple times at a party, determined to force people to laugh when all they are is uncomfortable.


And here she is finally getting her hair washed. She was forced to color her own hair during lockdown, a task she hasn't had to perform since her arms weighed a mere 30 pounds apiece. At 100 pounds of arms total, she ain't swole enough to lift em.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Dorsia.Reservation]

Tess, I guarantee places like Kentucky (who is pissed their governor is pandering to BLM), Mississippi and especially Virginia (after blackface Northam's hijinks) are not voting the way you want them to vote with all the shit that has been going down.

It is hilarious how these people and their pandering forget about 2016.

 

[Water-T]

LOL. Nobody believes you or cares, Tess. She'd accept sponsorship from the KKK if they paid her enough.

 

[multiverse]

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She obviously had to cut the sleeves and back open in order to tell herself "yes, I fit into this 3x shirt". The physics of her body in that particular garment makes zero sense without it being cut open and tied back together.

I won't even get into the nightmare which is her fupa in leopard print spandex bike shorts. At a certain point it's no longer kitschy to embrace white trash style. That point is when you are a super morbidly obese unemployed couch surfing single mother wearing clothing 3 sizes too small.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

I like how Tess has moved from simply wearing huge accessories and hair to try and make her look less huge to standing next to giant boulders hoping they help dwarf her a bit.

 

[Dorsia.Reservation]

I like how Tess has moved from simply wearing huge accessories and hair to try and make her look less huge to standing next to giant boulders hoping they help dwarf her a bit.

Since she lives in cali, I guess we know her next photo location...the Queen Mary ocean liner.