Prison would be a right bitch for Russ simply because they’d feed him prison food, not sugar cereals and Costco muffins. He’d likely go into shock from his body ingesting canned veg, however wilted.
Then he’d complain to the guards that he didn’t like the food and not being able to request an all-sugar-and-chemicals special diet is discrimination against the disabled.
Just thinking about what he voluntarily eats every day (colossal crunch and deep fried muffins anyone) makes me ACTUALLY want to eat prison food instead.
It's not like they'd be feeding him Olive Garden and Berry Colossal Crunch in county jail either. It's going to be very similar to prison life, only the inmates are less dangerous.
I love how our boy is a high-powered super-knowledgeable legal eagle...until he's facing actual charges against himself and needs mommy and daddy to pay for a big-boy lawyer to come save his greasy ass.
His legal skills are flawless when it comes to suing celebrities for an all-access pussy pass, but getting himself out of trouble? That's just beyond Russell's capability. He's used to being the one seeking to punish the other person.
I almost wish Mommy and Daddy Greer hadn't ponied up for a lawyer for their rodent son, and left him to lie in the bed he made himself instead. I would pay good money to travel to the alternate universe where Russell has to represent himself against Erika/Skordas. I'm sure as shit he wouldn't have pled "no contest"!
I honestly think he was planning on representing himself, but his parents told him not to be fucking retarded and get a real lawyer. He probably said something about not being able to afford it and they said they'd help so he wouldn't go to jail or have a hard conviction fucking up his criminal history to make life harder for him. They likely gave him some demands and expectations, like abiding the conditions of the plea bargain and if he fucked up again they won't bail him out again.
Rusty wouldn't make it a day in jail at this point in his life. Probably when he was locked up as a teen the other inmates took it easy on him because, well, tard and I would bet that he was kept away from the general population given his age. I can't remember from his tome, but surely someone does, does he speak at all about interacting with saggy pants thugs or hispanic gang members during his time in the clink? At his age, and his gross overconfidence, he'd be fucked in more ways than one. That's just jail. God forbid he have to go to big boy prison for something.
He was still living in Evanston, WY at that point, and Wyoming is whiter than Utah. There are some Latinos in Wyoming, but not a lot of blacks aside from military personnel. So he was most likely around mostly crackers with possibly a few wetbacks thrown in for flavor.
Yeah, Russ would get a bitter dose of reality if he went to jail, even if he was around misdemeanors who have a reason to behave themselves to avoid getting into worse trouble.
Russ can't even handle normal people telling him off or not giving him what he wants - can you imagine how he'd handle jailbirds harassing and bullying him?
He'd likely spend a lot of time hiding in his cell, crying. And the thought of Russ actually crying...all the drool and snot and the slurpy-sob sounds? That's a nasty mental image. And you're all welcome for me putting it into your minds.
I reckon that's how it ends for Rusty
Maybe 5-10 years from now, he's finally locked up for soliciting an undercover cop or harassing more women or something. He's sure that in prison he's going to be top dog because this is all a big misunderstanding and HE knows the law because he has his paralegal degree like a big boi. But then no one listens to his plights, and prison is so totally not awesome for a studly stud like Russ. Maybe he calls someone a saggy pants thug and gets shanked in the exercise yard. Maybe his cellmate smothers him in his sleep after one too many nights of hearing sad sweaty fapping from the top bunk. Maybe he takes up snitching and gets Epstein'd. I don't know. But it's definitely only a matter of time before he gets murdered in prison.
Unless Russ finally snaps and does something violent, I don't ever see him doing anything that would send him to real pound-me-in-the-ass prison. It'll be piddly shit like harassing girls online, and I give him even odds on winding up in jail for it one day. Because Russhole never learns.
Not saying his teenage hooker story is true...but can you imagine being his parents hearing about the danger this kid put in your path as only a junior in HS?
Lots of high school kids haven’t had sex yet, and aren’t disabled or even ugly. Some are working on academics, or are a bit shy, or can’t find somebody, or whatever. It’s hardly unusual, especially in a place like Utah. There is plenty of time in senior year or college to find a girlfriend and have sex. It shows how obsessed he was with whores from an early age.
How many 18 year olds would consider calling a Craigslist whore and having one come to your parents house so you can get your dick wet as a junior in HS?
And then to not even have the money. (Which is why I think the story is fake). Was he planning to fuck her than make her wait while he went to the bank? Can’t be real.
Just imagining this story to have some guy read online as a scary story where you are in the right, and people are expected to be “scared” for you. It’s just so bizarre and so Russ.
He was still living in Evanston at 18. Hadn't even gone on his mission yet. He was still trying to be a good LDS boy at that point, so I don't see him starting his whoremongering that early. According to him, he didn't start doing naughty things until he and his companions went to strip clubs during their mission to Phoenix. I don't think he started banging store-bought strange until he got home from his mission, had that "If you don't find a wife in life, you'll find one in Heaven" conversation with his Bishop that made him rage-quit the Church, and moved out of his parents house and away from their supervision. I highly doubt Russ would have had the guts to pay for prostitutes while still living with his parents, and he was still holding out hope for a hot LDS girl to marry at that point. The whole story was a lie.
He can get shanked in county lockup FWIW. Butternut squash can't shut his eyes or move them, so he constantly has that eerie corpse stare along with the sex offender breathing and slurping. Even low level inmates have this obsession with "respect" and unwritten rules laid out by various factions. Butternut WILL break these regularly by "staring" at another inmate or "looking someone in the eye."
No one in county jail is going to risk a murder rap and going to actual prison by shivving Russhole. They'll definitely beat his ass like a rented mule if he pisses them off or annoys them, but they're not going to shank him. He's not worth it.