J.K. Rowling needs to stop messing with Harry Potter - A general STFU J.K. Rowling MegaThread <3

Even as a kid something didn't feel right about Harry getting everything he wanted. I think the most egregious example of that was Gryffindor winning the House Cup in his first year.
To me it wasn't even Harry getting things he wanted, it was the fact that Slythern got fucked at each and every point. Is it really surprising they are pissed off dicks when the entire faculty shits on them at every point?
 
To me it wasn't even Harry getting things he wanted, it was the fact that Slythern got fucked at each and every point. Is it really surprising they are pissed off dicks when the entire faculty shits on them at every point?

To be fair, I sort of imagined that being Dumbledore way of making it up to Gryffindor for Snape being an absolute piece of shit to them. Seriously, I think at one point Snape takes away house points from them because Neville didn't fuck up his potion like Snape wanted and didn't kill his pet toad. Seriously, despite all the movies flaws, at least they made Snape come off as not a total prick, unlike the books.
 
I can't imagine how these idiots manage to read any literature older than the 90s considering they have the retarded black-and-white thinking of a child.
But why, though? What made this generation so fucked? I'm always amazed at how fucking insufferable these children are that they completely model their reality on these teen books.
 
But why, though? What made this generation so fucked? I'm always amazed at how fucking insufferable these children are that they completely model their reality on these teen books.
They are the children of the Upper Middle Class Religious Right.

They hold to Harry Potter as their holy book because CNN told them their parents hated it.
 
They are the children of the Upper Middle Class Religious Right.

They hold to Harry Potter as their holy book because CNN told them their parents hated it.
I'm very skeptical of that. In my own experience growing up, it was the kids with more progressive, permissive who were much more likely to be snowflake activists than anyone else. Also, regardless of what the press may have told you, the percentage of "upper middle class religious right" parents who were hardcore fundies and burned Harry Potter books was pretty small. DnD caught far worse than Harry Potter did, and a lot of that was because "experts" were claiming it would drive kids to insanity and suicide, not because of Pastor Bob saying it was of teh devil (see: Mazes and Monsters).

Or think of it this way. Do you really think parents were getting more religious and right wing in the 90's than in previous decades? Or do you think it was probably the reverse, and more liberal, secular parents raised their kids with no moral absolutes, leading to their children forming their own moral absolutes from the pop culture they imbibed?
 
DnD caught far worse than Harry Potter did, and a lot of that was because "experts" were claiming it would drive kids to insanity and suicide, not because of Pastor Bob saying it was of teh devil (see: Mazes and Monsters).

DnD is also much much older than Harry Potter, and the generation that grew up with it took away a very different lesson than The Millennial did from the perceived (read, Mainstream Media Pushing Stories about it)

burned Harry Potter books was pretty small.
Burning yes, however I imagine many of these people's parents didn't exactly like them wasting their time reading "Fantasy Novels."

Do you really think parents were getting more religious and right wing in the 90's than in previous decades?
No, but do I think that SJWs think their parents are Evil Religious Bigots? Oh very much yes I do. You can tell it from the sheer level of Daddy issues all of them have.
 
So you've got this kid who's being bullied and all of a sudden he has an escape from that and as the sorting hat says "wants to prove himself". You can give him a lot of depth from that. Make him an academic tryhard and that's how he gets in with Hermione, make him really sporty and that's how he gets in with the Weasleys, and make him not having any classist pretensions a source of conflict since a solid chunk of Slytherin house is upper middle class. Have Harry be the aspirant side of ambition and cunning, as opposed to "normal" Slytherins who represent the upper crust's hold on wealth and power and their grooming their kids to inherit it.

That would actually be close to Voldemort's stay in Hogwarts. Voldy, being a poor orphan, had to prove himself against an entire house of prejudiced, uppity, middle-class dicks.

We could have had Voldy and Harry start out as ambition-cunning aspirants who came from similar backgrounds and struggled in proving themselves talented wizards but ultimately took very different paths. In this head-cannon, I imagine several factors in play. One is that wizards in Voldy's day were far more prejudiced against muggles than during Harry's day. Combine that with Voldy discovering his father was a "filthy" muggle, and that sets him down a path of darkness. Harry has a "mudblood" for a mother, but at least his mother was magical, and while Slytherins are obviously going to be dicks to Harry about it, at least it won't be as bad.

Second, Harry could have ended up with supportive friends while Voldy only ended up with sycophants leeching his talent. This could be because 1) Harry tries harder to reach across house boundaries, especially the prejudice against Slytherins as bad guys, and 2) the house boundaries are a bit more relaxed than in Voldy's day, making it possible for Harry to succeed in this endeavor. Harry earns the friendship and love of Hermione and Ron through his hard work in sports and academics. Harry has rough patches with Draco at first, but they become frenemies with a certain mutual understanding. Thus, when the Deatheaters tempt Harry to join the dark side, Harry refuses because he has a healthier sense of self and a support group.

tl;dr The Sorting Hat was right; Harry would have done well in Slytherin.
 
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We could have had Voldy and Harry start out as ambition-cunning aspirants who came from similar backgrounds and struggled in proving themselves talented wizards but ultimately took very different paths.

I thought this was already the case? It might've just been because Harry's a Horcrux so he's kinda like Voldemort anyway, but I could've sworn this was his internal conflict in Chamber of Secrets in that he and Tom Riddle had quite a lot in common and that scared Harry.

But man, what a missed opportunity, indeed. If Rowling was always intending to put him into Gryffindor, she should've played up his darker elements more like she was exploring in Chamber of Secrets with his parseltongue (which started in Sorcerer's Stone anyway). I feel like that got dropped in Prisoner of Azkaban and tried to pick it back up in Goblet of Fire but was already in too deep/was being rushed with that book anyway and just changed her mind.

I think it was stated a few times that Harry might've had an interest in the Dark Arts? Think it was Mad-Eye Moody who brought it up to him, though Lupin might've been the first to bring it up during their tutoring. Still wasn't enough to explore his darker side.
 
I don't think Harry should have been in Slytherin, but there was a real missed opportunity to redeem any Slytherins at all. It's only in the last book that maybe some of them aren't assholes, kind of.
She should have put Ginny or Luna in Slytherin, or had a small group of Slytherins that are somewhat friendly to the main cast. Instead they're pretty much 100% evil bastards. We're told over and over that it's Not All Slytherins, but it's not really shown except for a really tiny amount of much older characters.
 
tl;dr The Sorting Hat was right; Harry would have done well in Slytherin.

I can't remember if this was actually supposed to be because of any aspects of his past or character. I think it might have been because part of Voldemort's soul was in him since he was a Horcrux, which is why he could speak Parseltongue, feel Tom Riddle's emotions etc. But I truly can't remember. Would be more interesting if it were due to his own character.
 
That would actually be close to Voldemort's stay in Hogwarts. Voldy, being a poor orphan, had to prove himself against an entire house of prejudiced, uppity, middle-class dicks.

We could have had Voldy and Harry start out as ambition-cunning aspirants who came from similar backgrounds and struggled in proving themselves talented wizards but ultimately took very different paths. In this head-cannon, I imagine several factors in play. One is that wizards in Voldy's day were far more prejudiced against muggles than during Harry's day. Combine that with Voldy discovering his father was a "filthy" muggle, and that sets him down a path of darkness. Harry has a "mudblood" for a mother, but at least his mother was magical, and while Slytherins are obviously going to be dicks to Harry about it, at least it won't be as bad.

Second, Harry could have ended up with supportive friends while Voldy only ended up with sycophants leeching his talent. This could be because 1) Harry tries harder to reach across house boundaries, especially the prejudice against Slytherins as bad guys, and 2) the house boundaries are a bit more relaxed than in Voldy's day, making it possible for Harry to succeed in this endeavor. Harry earns the friendship and love of Hermione and Ron through his hard work in sports and academics. Harry has rough patches with Draco at first, but they become frenemies with a certain mutual understanding. Thus, when the Deatheaters tempt Harry to join the dark side, Harry refuses because he has a healthier sense of self and a support group.

tl;dr The Sorting Hat was right; Harry would have done well in Slytherin.
Your scenario reminded me of a really good "what if" story where Harry is sorted into Slytherin. Read it years ago and was very much surprised by how well balanced it was. It showcases a tad more of a personality to Harry and various characters, delves into a mature and realistic brand of storytelling, and portrays how Death Eaters are realistically radicalized.

It isn't, "Lel, stupid mudbloods." It's actually more than that. Much more. It shows how Slytherin students are driven into it by family, peer pressure, and ostracization. In addition, the "good guys" are shown to be ineffective and uncompromising, especially when they are shown to be bigoted in their own way regarding Slytherin and dark magic (Ron is portrayed; from an outsider's perspective, as being prejudiced against them), inadvertently contributing to the problem. Even Sirius isn't exempted, as by reading between the lines, the author doesn't shy away from having him look down on Harry being a Slytherin; his own House.

Voldy, being a poor orphan, had to prove himself against an entire house of prejudiced, uppity, middle-class dicks.
What I find ironic about this is that the Weasleys themselves aren't exactly free from the same brand of being prejudiced, for ironically being a pure blood family.

This has less to do with the fanfic, and more with having gone back and really look into Ron's overall behavior and mindset. He was actually terribly prejudiced against Slytherin and dark wizarding families, proclaiming that they were no good, dastardly snakes who couldn't be trusted.

I guarantee you, if the books was more adult oriented and showcased society more realistically, it would have been less "good vs evil" and more of a "people being flawed" narrative. Sure, there are some genuinely evil bastards who didn't take much to become evil bastards, but those who fashion themselves as being the opposite are easily hypocrites who look down on those they consider "evil".

Why does that feel so terribly familiar?😉
 
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I know I'm late bringing this up, but seeing these sorts of articles while scrolling through the news cracks me up.
View attachment 1396630
What now?
Yeah, well even after removing that fugly tattoo you're still an ugly tranny cunt.
Hopefully the cultural world can recover from that enormous loss of untalented pompous poofs.
 
Much more. It shows how Slytherin students are driven into it by family, peer pressure, and ostracization.

I think we had gotten a taste of that with Malfoy. Maybe it was in a fic, or it might've been like a deleted scene or something, but I could've sworn we had gotten a look inside the Malfoy home and it was rather sterile because Draco is not on good terms with Lucius, like they're disengaged with each other. Even his own mother doesn't really talk to him much, she's just off doing her own thing and doesn't show interest in her own son, so he's been trying to please them to be able to take up the name, and in a sense inherit everything the family was known for.

I dunno, I remember how much of a pussy Malfoy was as a first-year (least for the film), so I think he had to "step it up" to make himself a bit more "cooler" than he really is. It's also been a long while, but didn't Harry feel a little sorry for Malfoy when he and Ron took the Polyjuice and got to talk to him a bit in the Slytherin lounge? Especially since it came off that Crabbe and Goyle might not've been the greatest boys to hang around with and not just because they were thickheaded?
 
I think we had gotten a taste of that with Malfoy. Maybe it was in a fic, or it might've been like a deleted scene or something, but I could've sworn we had gotten a look inside the Malfoy home and it was rather sterile because Draco is not on good terms with Lucius, like they're disengaged with each other. Even his own mother doesn't really talk to him much, she's just off doing her own thing and doesn't show interest in her own son, so he's been trying to please them to be able to take up the name, and in a sense inherit everything the family was known for.

I dunno, I remember how much of a pussy Malfoy was as a first-year (least for the film), so I think he had to "step it up" to make himself a bit more "cooler" than he really is. It's also been a long while, but didn't Harry feel a little sorry for Malfoy when he and Ron took the Polyjuice and got to talk to him a bit in the Slytherin lounge? Especially since it came off that Crabbe and Goyle might not've been the greatest boys to hang around with and not just because they were thickheaded?
It partly has to do with having to prove himself, but also for family pride, his prejudices confirmed; if not outright encouraged, by the very people who are supposed to discourage it. Basically, in such an environment where people are "righteous" and "morally superior", having uncompromising morals and predetermined notions can actually lead to more problems when said righteous people persecute those who are still young and impressionable. McGonagall, if you were to deconstruct her as a character, is one such person when compared to Umbridge. She's the polar opposite, but that doesn't translate to being effectively "good". It perpetuates a cycle where the teacher has already made up their minds in regards to a student(s).

This is shown in the fanfic I provided as someone who's read the canon books. The story offers a more in-depth look into how Slytherin life would be like if it had been more detailed upon by Rowling. Missed opportunity, right there. In addition, Harry, if he wasn't a Gryffindor, would have been given an outsider's perspective of his "friends" and "allies".

Let's just say he doesn't like what he sees.
 
Your scenario reminded me of a really good "what if" story where Harry is sorted into Slytherin. Read it years ago and was very much surprised by how well balanced it was. It showcases a tad more of a personality to Harry and various characters, delves into a mature and realistic brand of storytelling, and portrays how Death Eaters are realistically radicalized.

It isn't, "Lel, stupid mudbloods." It's actually more than that. Much more. It shows how Slytherin students are driven into it by family, peer pressure, and ostracization. In addition, the "good guys" are shown to be ineffective and uncompromising, especially when they are shown to be bigoted in their own way regarding Slytherin and dark magic (Ron is portrayed; from an outsider's perspective, as being prejudiced against them), inadvertently contributing to the problem. Even Sirius isn't exempted, as by reading between the lines, the author doesn't shy away from having him look down on Harry being a Slytherin; his own House.


What I find ironic about this is that the Weasleys themselves aren't exactly free from the same brand of being prejudiced, for ironically being a pure blood family.

This has less to do with the fanfic, and more with having gone back and really look into Ron's overall behavior and mindset. He was actually terribly prejudiced against Slytherin and dark wizarding families, proclaiming that they were no good, dastardly snakes who couldn't be trusted.

I guarantee you, if the books was more adult oriented and showcased society more realistically, it would have been less "good vs evil" and more of a "people being flawed" narrative. Sure, there are some genuinely evil bastards who didn't take much to become evil bastards, but those who fashion themselves as being the opposite are easily hypocrites who look down on those they consider "evil".

Why does that feel so terribly familiar?😉
Thanks for the recommendation, I’m really enjoying it so far!
 
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