- Joined
- Dec 29, 2018
Since Labelle hasn't been posting comics or even posters masquerading as comics since the states is sad so the canadian living in finland can't work surrounded by such chaos, I wanna address a classic that I've seen make a resurgence on some feeds:
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Every one who reads here knows that Labelle and their ilk loves to push the idea that not wanting to date a trans person makes you transphobic, that's not even a debate anymore.
It's gotten to the point where, after being called out on it they don't even deny it, they just belittle the people who pointed it out (once again attempting to use shame to pressure you into accepting something sexual that you're not comfortable with.
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(He's saying he's gay, Labelle, and that he's not into women. You had a dick and look like a dude, he's respecting your gender despite the fact that you clearly don't pass, you slug.)
I've ranted about my hatred for predators using social pressure and shaming to guilt people into sexual situations they're not comfortable with, so don't worry, this won't just be a rehash of that.
What I want to do today is give people the tools to fight against this kind of "logic" when faced with it without risking their status as an open minded individual.
I know most of us here don't have to worry about it, but sometimes when confronted head on it's easy to get flustered and going in to life prepared to protect your body and sense of comfort is paramount.
SO!
The original argument that came forward was pretty simple (but stupid)
"If you say you like women, that includes trans women, if you like men then also trans men, you're a transphobe otherwise."
That's how we got to the "discussion" about preferences, which even Sophie "Too straight to ever date a woman" Labelle couldn't even backtrack out of. The solution was obvious though, having preferences is now transphobic.
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(actually a lot of people who want to have kids in their future do...)
This of course is very illogical and confusing since transwomen in particular are trying to argue that lesbians should just accept their dicks, which is very scary and homophobic.
For more information on this revolting phenomena, look up the term "cotton ceiling" which was coined by transwomen to make themselves feel victimized by lesbians not wanting a hard dicking.
Oh look, they out and out admit that they're victimized specifically because you won't have sex with them.
Oppressed because women won't sleep with them, my god, why does that sound so familiar?
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History lesson over, so what do you do when faced with this?
Smart money says get new friends, yours are obviously insane but internet culture sometimes leaks into our real lives and can have real consequences if you're not prepared.
You tell them you don't find transpeople attractive then you're screeched at "that you can't even tell a transwoman from a cis woman" refusing to believe that just because there are exceptions to every rule, doesn't mean the rule is moot.
But I've finally found, and tested, an answer that seems to let us slide through these tricky minefields. See, they're playing a game you're not supposed to be able to win, since they have the trump card of just calling you a bigot and then twisting everything in retellings of the convo until it evolves into you literally stabbing them in the throat while misgendering everyone in the room.
The trick is to forget about all the concrete stuff that makes us attractive to one another, don't talk about looks or dicks or fat content or anything. You need to keep it nebulous. You need to talk about how you wouldn't date someone fat/homeless/trans/whatever you're not attracted to because they'd be incompatible with you lifestyle.
"I would never date a transperson because I just don't think I'm stable enough to give them the support and attention they deserve."
"I would never date a transperson because I'm afraid my own body dismorphia would be too constantly triggering for them and I'd make them miserable."
"I would never date a transperson because I'm constantly questioning my own gender but not ready to explore it and I'm afraid I'd become hateful towards how out and brave and beautiful they are."
"I would never date a trans person because my family is incredibly toxic and unaccepting and the idea of dragging someone I love into that situation would be too much for me to bear, but I could never ditch my fam because love them, as flawed as they are."
"I would never date a transperson because I'm not brave enough to face the world like they are, I'm not strong enough to survive in this transphobic world and they deserve someone who can stand strong by their side."
Imagine what a DICK someone would have to be to try and counter that shit? And if they do they'd have to pull out some wild hypothetical about you meeting the most stable, passing transperson in the entire world who lifts you above all else and is a paragon of love blah blah blah. Try to resit rolling your eyes and saying "well yeah and if I won the lotto I'd buy a fucking castle but let's talk odds here." and instead, again, massage that ego
"Oh I could never go out with someone that perfect, it'd be too intimidating. I'm pretty flawed and can really only be comfortable with compatibly flawed people."
Or some such shit.
And this works for all of Labelle's dumb shit "preferences are for bigots" crap.
Fat? "My place would be way too small for her to be comfortable in, it wouldn't be fair." or "I'd never want to restrict his lifestyle but having the kinds of foods he likes when we're together would just trigger my past eating disorder."
Wrong Genitals? Try to resist pointing out that no, those oozing, bleeding, malformed neo-vaginas and those permanently semi-erect horror hotdogs are not attractive to you, since that is also somehow transphobic (although somehow also stating you wouldn't date a cis-person with unnatural looking breasts due to enhancements isn't discrimination because fixing their body dismorphia was an "option" for them) and instead say that you need a fertile partner since having you and your partner share in creating a life is hella important to you and the adoption or fertility routes are just too expensive, long and painful for you to endure.
Or if you're gay, tell them that you've tried alternatives to your preferred for of pleasure (since they'll no doubt bring up sex toy alternatives) and you just don't get any pleasure from it, no matter how much you care about your partner, and that you're too selfish to live a life abstaining, even in the face of true love.
Trust me, when you make it personal and about "lifestyle" you'll quickly find your detractors giving you a pass, especially if you can work in something about money or mental health, since those aren't issues a good SJW will suggest you just "get over" to suck some lady cock.
Rate me autistic, I'm okay with that but if this helps even one cornered person out of a tumbler induced social panic or painfully uncomfortable forced/pressured sexual situation it will be worth it.
Literally just tell them to fuck off, say you don't like them because you think they're ugly. Why play into the passive aggressive mindgames? Do you think that playing their game will make them stop? They're inherently manipulative people, they'll find a way to get in no matter what. Their method of attack is based on convoluted mind tricks, the only way to excise them is a firm and confident "no, fuck off".