Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

Barb will have literally no one attending her funeral save for Chris (if he can even afford one). Some generous kiwis will have to help him set up the funeral since she already has a crypt reserved. If anyone here does show up it'll probably be doing Chris a favor since there's no point in holding a wake with no visitors.
That's pretty sad when you think about it. Random internet strangers will care more about Barbs death than her own flesh and blood, same thing probably happened with Bob where more Kiwis mourned his passing than his estranged ex-wife and daughter.
 
I'll get back from work and see; Oh lol, she finally offed herself.
And then she will be buried beside Bob (which is kinda sweet), and Chris will be alone. All alone, and it'll be glorious seeing him try to rationalize that his house isn't his unless he pays over a hundred grand.
 
I hope Chris gets a cheap casket. That way there’s a chance Barb’s will explode. Fun fact: going for a quality casket is important, because if they aren’t sealed properly, the gases from the decomposition can build up inside and you end up with what’s essentially human soup leaking out. Not an issue for burials in a concrete vault, but a pretty huge one for above ground crypts where you’ll see strange brown water leaking onto the floor. Hence the term “exploding casket”.

Would Chris even want a wake? It’ll have to be a closed casket one since I can see him not wanting to see Barb’s embalmed face. Depending on the quality, the body can end up looking dramatically different than when it was alive (No wrinkles, thin pale lips, etc)
 
I hope Chris gets a cheap casket. That way there’s a chance Barb’s will explode. Fun fact: going for a quality casket is important, because if they aren’t sealed properly, the gases from the decomposition can build up inside and you end up with what’s essentially human soup leaking out. Not an issue for burials in a concrete vault, but a pretty huge one for above ground crypts where you’ll see strange brown water leaking onto the floor. Hence the term “exploding casket”.
I'm like 99% sure that Bob was cremated, so I assume the same will happen for Barb.
 
I'm like 99% sure that Bob was cremated, so I assume the same will happen for Barb.
Bob was cremated and his ashes are in the cremation niche pictured below, presumably Barb’s will end up there as well.
Chandler_Niche.jpg
 
After barb died, Chris will make a convention called BARBScon
The only panel will be Barb's corpse at the kitchen table. The guest stars will be that back alley doctor who gave Chris titty Skittlez. Chris will charge 200 dollars a head, and I'm not talking about the entrance fee.
 
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The only panel will be Barb's corpse at the kitchen table. The guest stars will be that back alley doctor who gave Chris titty Skittlez. 200 dollars a head, and I'm not talking about the entrance fee.
Chris overcharges for shitty head the same way Cole overcharges for shitty beer.
 
I hope Chris gets a cheap casket. That way there’s a chance Barb’s will explode. Fun fact: going for a quality casket is important, because if they aren’t sealed properly, the gases from the decomposition can build up inside and you end up with what’s essentially human soup leaking out. Not an issue for burials in a concrete vault, but a pretty huge one for above ground crypts where you’ll see strange brown water leaking onto the floor. Hence the term “exploding casket”.

Moral of the story ? Get yourself cremated, kids.
 
He will probably just open the door, let them run out and then they are on their own.
That happens more often than you think with dogs. Cats will linger around their primary food source, but dogs have no impulse control so if they see a fast moving object, they'll just go.
 
That happens more often than you think with dogs. Cats will linger around their primary food source, but dogs have no impulse control so if they see a fast moving object, they'll just go.
Yup. Cats get hungry and return. I know some people have dogs that roam all over the neighborhood and then come back home but I would never bet on it. Our little black cat snuck past me and ran into the woods, only to come meowing around the door again at 3 AM.

The reason I'm so pessimistic about Chris's dogs is that they are not trained in the slightest and seem to barely be socialized at all. They'd just run away and get lost and that's that. Probably end up in the pound.
 
Yup. Cats get hungry and return. I know some people have dogs that roam all over the neighborhood and then come back home but I would never bet on it. Our little black cat snuck past me and ran into the woods, only to come meowing around the door again at 3 AM.

The reason I'm so pessimistic about Chris's dogs is that they are not trained in the slightest and seem to barely be socialized at all. They'd just run away and get lost and that's that. Probably end up in the pound.

At least they'll be treated better there than 14 BLC.
 
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