Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

Back in February, Tess did a shoot for the Eff Your Beauty Standards collaboration with online retailer Fashion to Figure. FTF is not unknown in fat clothing circles, having collaborated with other popular or celebrity fats AND non fat Gabrielle Union. Most of what she showed in her IG stories that day were items emblazoned with EYBS in rainbow fonts. THIS is Tess and one of the models she hired(gotta be FULLY inclusive!) and the model is wearing one of the items being sold. As is Tess, and if you look closely at the shirt Tess is wearing, it is her own fucking face.
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I forgot all about the EYBS FTF collaboration. They did one shoot for her "new collection", and then we never heard of it again. Did the clothes ever even make it to market?

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Most models understand that their job is all about making the clothes look good while conveying whatever story the designer/photographer/art director has come up with--the photos, or their appearance on the runway, are about showcasing the clothes, not them.

Tess has never understood this. In her mind, she's the one who is the center of interest, and the clothes are just incidental. She's the one doing a designer or manufacturer a favor by appearing in their campaign. So she doesn't have to come up with a wider range of facial expressions or poses than she's already got, and she can get whatever tattoos she likes, and it's totally okay if she shows up for a shoot and none of the clothes fit because she's lied about her measurements--she's Tess Holliday, damn it.

A tiny, tiny percentage of models not only make the clothes look amazing, but also have a look of their own that makes them stand out from every other tall, thin, young, symmetrically-featured girl. They're the ones designers latch onto as muses, and who make people thumbing through fashion magazines stop at their photos and want to know, "Who is she?" They're the rare ones who get to be supermodels.

Tess was never a supermodel; she's at best a niche model, who can't even model in her own fatgirl niche anymore because she's too fat. Even before the pandemic, the only gigs left to here were being trotted out as a monstrous novelty.

But right now, when garment sales are in freefall, when there are no runway shows, and limited photo shoots due to the pandemic, and with no sign of either economic recovery or an end to the pandemic any time soon? Nobody's wasting time or money hiring Two-ton Tessie for shock value.

By the time we're all through this and things start to improve, the fashion industry will have taken a sustained, and very traumatic, beating. A lot of indie brands--the kinds that like to hire Tess--will have either gone under, or still be surviving only by the skin of their teeth.

Tess is dumb and vain enough to think she'll have a career to go back to, once Covid-19 goes away and the world goes back to normal. Boy, is she in for a rude awakening.

Tubby Tess is a pretty dim bulb but even she seems to be aware she has no future, which is why she is going extra woke. Going woke for social media clout is the laziest way to get attention. She also clearly is prostituting herself which keeps her awash in champagne cakes but she wants to be the token fat white girl model again. This is where her delusions come in of course because fat white women are no longer enough. There was a five year or so window where she could have made a lot of cash and waddled back to Mississippi and could practically retire. Instead she’s now a hooker for fetishists.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Tubby Tess is a pretty dim bulb but even she seems to be aware she has no future, which is why she is going extra woke. Going woke for social media clout is the laziest way to get attention. She also clearly is prostituting herself which keeps her awash in champagne cakes but she wants to be the token fat white girl model again. This is where her delusions come in of course because fat white women are no longer enough. There was a five year or so window where she could have made a lot of cash and waddled back to Mississippi and could practically retire. Instead she’s now a hooker for fetishists.

If she played it smart by not eating herself out of most brands and not bad mouthing potential employers, she could have had a career similar to Ashley Graham. On top of that, she should have gotten better at different skills and worked on making herself more well spoken for speaking engagements on talk shows (when she did have them). Tess is her own worst enemy and she has no one to blame but herself for squandering an opportunity that most models can only dream of.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

I forgot all about the EYBS FTF collaboration. They did one shoot for her "new collection", and then we never heard of it again. Did the clothes ever even make it to market?

it was supposed to be released late March or early April but everything got shut down so FTF allegedly opted to wait, and then all the protesting happened. APPARENTLY they did release a collab with an actual plus model in the last week or two, so who knows if it'll get shelved or show up online soon. I hope the company drops her tho, esp since she supports pedophiles.

 

[randomfarmer]

Ooohhhh, I get it! They are calling it a blackout because some people’s skin is black. Clever!

So we won’t shop, and then your local grocery store, Target, Costco, Nordstrom, JC Penny, Shell oil, Amazon will....uh....do what now?

Oh right! They’ll know we are allies! That’s very important, that the CEO of Target knows there are people who support BLM. I am sure they have never considered this idea.

I have a better one. I’ve been holding off on buying a new handbag I’ve been lusting over, since with Covid I hardly leave the house. But on July 7th, maybe instead of the canvas logo I’d planned, I’ll choose black leather to show my support.

Tess would never have posted that if it was a pizza blackout.

Damn them, they already have black friday now they want to take July 7th too?

 

[multiverse]

If she played it smart by not eating herself out of most brands and not bad mouthing potential employers, she could have had a career similar to Ashley Graham.

Disagree. Graham is 5'9" and started modeling before she became a chunk-a-lunk; she was scouted at age 12. Given that her proportions are closer to those of a standard model, and that she started her career as a regular model at 12 rather than as a MySpace pinup model at 24 like Tess, she had time and opportunities that would never be available to Tess. When she gained weight, she never ate herself above a 14-16, almost half Tess's size at half a foot taller. Finally, even if she doesn't get back down to a more standard size 10-12 at her height, Ashley probably still has another decade of work ahead of her.

If anyone ever wanted to know why Tess hates Ashley with the fire of a thousand suns, read above.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I never said she would have the career the exact same as hers. I just said that she would probably have better luck had she not squandered all her opportunities.


Tess isn’t celebrating the Fourth of July because she’s woke now.

 

[FrownyFace]

I never said she would have the career the exact same as hers. I just said that she would probably have better luck had she not squandered all her opportunities.

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Tess isn’t celebrating the Fourth of July because she’s woke now.

Translation: Nobody invited her to their barbecue. I thought she was on a break from her social media? She really is a narc, just can’t stay away from attention. “Hi it’s me, America bad, look at my stupid face!”

 

[JambledUpWords]

Some comments from today’s post:

 

[Salubrious]

I love this woke doublethink of "you're a terrible person if you don't support us 100% now AND you're still a terrible person if you 100% support us now and you didn't before!"

There's no winning with these fucks. The only way to win is not to play.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

Tess, you fat lying fuck, like fuck you have been talking about BLM consistently for five years. This thread is a testament to that. It chronicles your various obsession which in no particular order since the start of your 'career' have been:

- cake (sheet or cup)
- fashion (tacky and cheap)
- how irked you are that being morbidly obese isn't admired in your industry or society as a whole
- your own fat face and the cosmetics you put on it
- your husband and kids on occasions they served to enhance your image
- your nails
- various of your amateur softcore porn shoots

I think I've seen 20x pics of Tess half naked or Tess in bathtubs than I have of Tess suddenly pretending to have interests outside of filling her face and trying to be famous, let alone anti-racism.

 

[bloomingcactus]

I never said she would have the career the exact same as hers. I just said that she would probably have better luck had she not squandered all her opportunities.

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Tess isn’t celebrating the Fourth of July because she’s woke now.

I despise that open mouth pose more everytime I see it. What does a thirst pose have to do with the holiday? Plus she has to put her birthday in there. It's all about Tess 24/7. Makes me sick.

Just a fact about Vanessa Guillen, she saw photos of the wife of another officer on her co-workers phone. Adultery is a punishable offense. He killed her because he didn't want his career destroyed. She wasn't speaking up for anything. It sucks that she died. She shouldn't have. But it had nothing to do with blm or her being "brown". Being Hispanic. She wasn't being woke.

Spoiler: IMO

I hate that people are reduced to their color. She wasn't just brown, she was Hispanic. She was someone's daughter and sister.

Just like trans people, Tess will use anyone for woke points.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Translation: Nobody invited her to their barbecue. I thought she was on a break from her social media? She really is a narc, just can’t stay away from attention. “Hi it’s me, America bad, look at my stupid face!”

I am shocked that she has no self control, especially staying away from something that gives her asspats and upcummies at all hours of the day. She’s more likely to go on a diet than staying away from social media.

 

[clusterfuckk]

I never said she would have the career the exact same as hers. I just said that she would probably have better luck had she not squandered all her opportunities.

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Tess isn’t celebrating the Fourth of July because she’s woke now.

Notice how she is sacrificing all of the super special 4th of July parties she was totally invited to, but didn’t mention a sacrifice on her birthday, which she reminds us is tomorrow.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[Dorsia.Reservation]

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Tess is just like Kelly Lenza.
Fetishistic about black people until they disagree with them or they don't regurgitate woke talking points.

 

[JambledUpWords]

So how’s that social media break working out for you?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

"Trauma can be passed down through your genes"

That has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[parallelogram]

"Trauma can be passed down through your genes"

That has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

And she uses it to refute someone’s opinion.

Tess has absolutely no leg to stand on when it comes to her own opinions. She’s always retweeting or sharing someone else’s words in a flimy attempt to echo the same sentiment.

It’s gotta be exhausting to carry the entire plight of the world’s problems (plus 300 extra pounds) on your back.