Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

The biggest culture shock for me coming here from Something Awful was when I made some bad posts about a movie, got mocked for it, and that's all that happened. No giant thread derail quoting my bad posts to add their take about why I was such a faggot, no redtext, no threatening PMs, no staff putting the boot in to score some popularity points, no weirdos popping up in every thread I posted in forever to remind everybody that this guy posted badly once. I just got some puzzle pieces.

I am fully aware that had I doubled down and made a scene of myself and became the thread's subject, I would probably have been halal'd. But in my experience, when a kiwi does something that's harmlessly dumb, they get mocked and then everybody moves on. The Kiwi Farms is not a perfect community but it is not the fucking knife fight that is SA.

And SA always was that way, so hearing goons talk about how toxic we are when they are dumpsterfire people is a laugh. If goons don't like your opinions, expect to be harassed heavily.

 

[sperginity]

I'm gonna guess the "fireworks" is he served logan for a civil suit because of trying to get the payment info redirected, or whatever. I don't know why he wouldn't, even if he ends up being wrong about the legality of whatever happened.

 

[Beavis]

WHERE MY FIREWORKS LT

He’d have to get off the couch to light them.

You've gotten my hopes up for the Richard-gets-a-job saga. Take all my rainbows.

The thought of lowtax having to work a crappy 9-5 to scrape by makes me smile.

 

[wreddit]

The thought of lowtax having to work a crappy 9-5 to scrape by makes me smile.

SO DONT FUCKING BUY THE EXTENDED WARRANTY, DONT FUCKING SELECT IT, DONT FUCKING ASK FOR IT WHEN YOU CALL THIS TECH SUPPORT LINE.

I mean Christ, all I did was make this tech support call to endorse a warranty that actually pleasantly surprised me, and you are voting this call "crap" and suggesting I'm scamming you. I've said repeatedly that this was just my experience with the extended warranty and in no way should indicate how everybody else will feel. I've said I received a commission about selling these warranties, so I'm not trying to hide anything. I've-

ahh fuck it, I'm hanging up, fuck you and fuck your phone, I can never sell a single goddamn warranty in here without you faggots saying you just wanted your phone fixed. I should've learned my lesson long ago and never left the intelligent, rational forum where I don't have to deal with clueless idiots and morons like you people. I'm going back to internet forum administration and staying there, since it has a microscopic fraction of the retards and trolls populating tech support.

I guess that should strike me as being ironic, but it's more sad to me than anything. Thanks for running me out of my own goddamn 9-5.

 

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

The thought of lowtax having to work a crappy 9-5 to scrape by makes me smile.

9-5? Fucker is going to be working the weekend 11pm-7am at the Kum & Go if he's lucky.

 

[BobbyBriggs69420]

The thought of lowtax having to work a crappy 9-5 to scrape by makes me smile.

Mcmansion ---> Eviction ---> 1br shithole apt in a culturally enriched area and all the day-to-day sights, sounds and activity that comes with that

GTR ---> Reposession ---> Huffy*


* maybe too optimistic, actually probably more like ssdi-provided power-chair and waiting on accessible buses.

edit: It really seems mean-spirited to type that all out but damn, even with woman beating aside, the guy has been making choices for ~15 years that this is what he wanted. Also he provided the platform for the invention of internet-SJWs, stood by and let it happen.

 

[Beavis]

Mcmansion ---> Eviction ---> 1br shithole apt in a culturally enriched area and all the day-to-day sights, sounds and activity that comes with that

GTR ---> Reposession ---> Huffy*


* maybe too optimistic, actually probably more like ssdi-provided power-chair and waiting on accessible buses.

edit: It really seems mean-spirited to type that all out but damn, even with woman beating aside, the guy has been making choices for ~15 years that this is what he wanted. Also he provided the platform for the invention of internet-SJWs, stood by and let it happen.

SSDI payments can be garnished for child support. I could see him not working and moving in with his mom or her renting a small home or apartment for him while paying his living expenses.

 

[All Cops Are Based]

The biggest culture shock for me coming here from Something Awful was when I made some bad posts about a movie, got mocked for it, and that's all that happened. No giant thread derail quoting my bad posts to add their take about why I was such a faggot, no redtext, no threatening PMs, no staff putting the boot in to score some popularity points, no weirdos popping up in every thread I posted in forever to remind everybody that this guy posted badly once. I just got some puzzle pieces.
...

When I was reading through the Lowtax thread on SA there was a bit of a derail (I can't remember which page so I can't find it), and some goon posted something like: "is there any e-celebrity who's managed to stay pretty decent and respectable? All I can think of is Jontron, although I know some people will disagree."

Predictably he got some shit for it, but the weird thing is it didn't stop. The thread moved on and his post got buried, and 5 pages later goons were quoting this guy's one post over and over and interrogating him about whether or not he knows Jon's political views. Like white blood cells identified a foreign object or something.

 

[Exceptional Chimp]

You've gotten my hopes up for the Richard-gets-a-job saga. Take all my rainbows.

Richard gets a job? Chris Chan gets one first.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Lol Lowtax isn't going to wind up in a cockroach filled apartment working a 9-5. He's going to run back to mommy and do everything he was doing from her couch, just like Spoony. Maybe after she dies something will change, but for the next 20 years society is set up to allow people like Lowtax to live as perpetual useless lumps.

 

[Nekoi.Inukuma.00]

Now the question I have is this: Is Lowtax actually funny and does he have a (rusty from lack of recent use) sense of humor that was hidden away by having to impress a bunch of woke people, or is his sense of humor really just that bad regardless?

I guess he has(had) moments of funny? But in general, I think the consensus is: Not Funny, Hasn't Been Funny In Years/Never Was Funny.

At one point I guess he was good at curating the funny bits? Didn't most of the good content come from the forums to begin with?
But Lowtax himself? Not funny.

His icq pranks were pretty funny

Not sure if I'd call them funny, but certainly meme-able. PAK. CHOOIE. UNF.

It's like phone prank comedy CD funny. With few exceptions that shit stopped being interesting in the 90s and was beat to death in the early 2000s with Crank Yankers.

Lowtax is too retarded to understand that he's the reason this culture was able to go out of control in his site in the first place, and the only reason he's mad at it is because it's hurting him for once.

He absolutely went all in on Chris Hardwick just a couple of years ago, and that had less evidence than this. He shat all over Tyler Malka when that guy finally got caught. He's not angry that he's being falsely accused, because he knows those accusations are true. He's angry that SA's posters managed to narrowly avoid being quite as spineless as he is and they won't lick his boot or help him dogpile his abused exes anymore.

This had me thinking: How is NeoGAF doing compared to REEEEEsetERA and Something Awful?

Tyler came back in and reasserted control and unless I'm mistaken, NeoGAF is doing fairly well for having imploded so hard. A lot of long lost users came back after he kicked the goony troony jannies out of NeoGAF.

There were a few old accounts in that SA thread mentioning how shit the forums and site had become, maybe there is a chance of a revival if he goes on a massive cleaning spree. I doubt it though, the forums are far past where NeoGAF was when Tyler reasserted control, and I doubt Lowtax has the testicular fortitude and stamina to take back his forum. He'd burn down the current board culture and then fuck off again; people wouldn't return because no one has confidence in him actually sticking to running SA.

Lol, just going to say one more time, this is what he's choosing to do with 4th of July weekend instead of being with his children. Any of them.

Drawing other weird parallels: He's doing the thing Quinn did over Christmas of 2014: shit-posting on the internet and settling scores over the holidays because they are a vapid BPD headcase with nothing better to do. All he needs is a dox Trello board or IRC channel/Discord for his co-conspirators, but he's probably doesn't have anyone who'd conspire with him.

Jesus, what do they want from the guy, blood? Are they going to fuck with Richard for the rest of his life unless they get an England-style hanging, drawing, and quartering and every goon gets to take home a piece to display on the mantle?

"Do not forget that these people want you broke, dead, your kids raped and brainwashed, and they think it's funny." -- Sam Hyde

Seriously, that Sam Hyde quote works so well for goon culture.

 

[haunted vagina]

I'd watch a reality show about Lowtax trying to work a real job after 20 years in an Internet and $100 pizza bubble. TruTV, let's do this.

 

[Beavis]

Lol Lowtax isn't going to wind up in a cockroach filled apartment working a 9-5. He's going to run back to mommy and do everything he was doing from her couch, just like Spoony. Maybe after she dies something will change, but for the next 20 years society is set up to allow people like Lowtax to live as perpetual useless lumps.

This is the most likely. He’ll quickly fritter away whatever pittance he sells SA for as a last hurrah. He won’t work a job because mom will give him a roof and some pocket money for pills that he absolutely hates and is allergic to! Also, if he gets a job at least half will be going to child support payments every month.

 

[Toshiba]

Spare a thought for Mama Kyanka. I'm sure she's the insufferable pushy boomer we think she is but she's cleaning her adult son's house up after another shitstorm of legal and financial troubles. She's just had cancer or something.

I'm sure she thought at this point in her life she could rely on some support from him or at least be happy to see him with his own family or enjoying a fulfilling life. God know's she's given him enough- a good education, financial help, set up a trust for him when she dies...

Sure, some of his entitlement probably comes from a spoilt upbringing but in terms of baggage a parent can pass onto their kid that is pretty much the mildest, it's not some great trauma that can never be overcome. Anyone with a little character would get over themselves and realise they're not the centre of the universe as soon as they get out into the real world. She got unlucky to be burdened with a son as bad as Lowtax.

 

[haunted vagina]

At some level it's easy for loved ones to write off a lot of behavior as a product of addiction biology - oh, he's not like that when he's sober, it's my fault for giving him these genes, he could turn it all around if he completes treatment, etc. But I can't imagine what it would be like to look at a family member that you've committed to supporting and envision him beating up women, repeatedly, after being arrested for it and losing marriages over it in the past and being fully aware of the consequences. Some things are just not excusable in normal people world.

 

[sperginity]

Spare a thought for Mama Kyanka. I'm sure she's the insufferable pushy boomer we think she is but she's cleaning her adult son's house up after another shitstorm of legal and financial troubles. She's just had cancer or something.

I'm sure she thought at this point in her life she could rely on some support from him or at least be happy to see him with his own family or enjoying a fulfilling life. God know's she's given him enough- a good education, financial help, set up a trust for him when she dies...

Sure, some of his entitlement probably comes from a spoilt upbringing but in terms of baggage a parent can pass onto their kid that is pretty much the mildest, it's not some great trauma that can never be overcome. Anyone with a little character would get over themselves and realise they're not the centre of the universe as soon as they get out into the real world. She got unlucky to be burdened with a son as bad as Lowtax.

The absolute worst mothers are the ones who do everything for their children, and then their kids never really grow up. Moms like this do it for a few reasons: they might be afraid of the kid going off on their own and leaving them behind, they might feel like they are a "bad mother" if they let the kid do anything on their own so they sacrifice the child's emotional growth to avoid feeling guilty, they might have a pathological anxiety about their child being hurt and sacrifice the kid's growth to soothe their own anxiety issue, etc. It is a massive pathology that is difficult to overcome, the mother does everything in her power to prevent their child from overcoming it. This type of mother punishes her child when they show healthy independence, and rewards them for maladaptive dependence. The sons that don't end up resentful have a real twisted reverence for their mothers, like they are saints for making them unable to function in the real world. I would be totally unsurprised if lowtax's mom was one of these, part of why I think so is because he is so eager for a woman to take on total responsibility for everything in his life, and that may be because he is basing his expectations of women on his mom. Women fuck their kids up in this way because it is so hard to criticize on the surface level, they can dress everything they do up as being "caring" or "concern", but it isn't. Its cowardice so powerful that they would ruin their child's life for selfish reasons. I find it deplorable.

 

[repentance]

At some level it's easy for loved ones to write off a lot of behavior as a product of addiction biology - oh, he's not like that when he's sober, it's my fault for giving him these genes, he could turn it all around if he completes treatment, etc. But I can't imagine what it would be like to look at a family member that you've committed to supporting and envision him beating up women, repeatedly, after being arrested for it and losing marriages over it in the past and being fully aware of the consequences. Some things are just not excusable in normal people world.

I've known people like Lowtax and their families rarely acknowledge that there is a substance problem. Usually they support the idea that the family member just has terrible luck with women, friends, employees, and is too trusting for their own good.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Spare a thought for Mama Kyanka. I'm sure she's the insufferable pushy boomer we think she is but she's cleaning her adult son's house up after another shitstorm of legal and financial troubles. She's just had cancer or something.

I'm sure she thought at this point in her life she could rely on some support from him or at least be happy to see him with his own family or enjoying a fulfilling life. God know's she's given him enough- a good education, financial help, set up a trust for him when she dies...

Sure, some of his entitlement probably comes from a spoilt upbringing but in terms of baggage a parent can pass onto their kid that is pretty much the mildest, it's not some great trauma that can never be overcome. Anyone with a little character would get over themselves and realise they're not the centre of the universe as soon as they get out into the real world. She got unlucky to be burdened with a son as bad as Lowtax.

A reminder that Mama Kyanka fucked over Ashli and is pushing to get her deported as an illegal immigrant.

 

[Ghostse]

It's like phone prank comedy CD funny. With few exceptions that shit stopped being interesting in the 90s and was beat to death in the early 2000s with Crank Yankers.

Changes in communication laws are more responsible for the death of the phone prank. Crank Yankers simply accelerated the process.
tl;dr previously thanks to the balkanization of the US laws, you could make your call from a 1-party consent state and then sell your record. With internet commerce and increased phone fraud things tightened down, and with the switch from analogue to logging digital systems, its trivial to prove connections were made.

This is why you don't have prank calls from morning shows anymore unless they have someone from the household in the studio greenlighting it.

I don't think you're wrong, but more in the way that the phone prank CD would have a couple of funny calls and the vast majority being lame filler.

 

[White Devil]

A reminder that Mama Kyanka fucked over Ashli and is pushing to get her deported as an illegal immigrant.

Isn't she though?