Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Constellationzero]

Spoiler: NSFL

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God, you just get that phantom whiff of runny shit, BO, fromunda cheese, rotten eggs, and corn chips from these pictures.

Pressing F for that what is that? A...thong? Or is it supposed to be a regular bikini bottom that her unwiped ass is eating.

 

[JambledUpWords]

God, you just get that phantom whiff of runny shit, BO, fromunda cheese, rotten eggs, and corn chips from these pictures.

Pressing F for that what is that? A...thong? Or is it supposed to be a regular bikini bottom that her unwiped ass is eating.

It’s a string bikini. #CancerSeason is indeed upon us all.

 

[MathildaLeon]

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I don't fucking get it. There are a few accounts I follow who I really like but they follow and sometimes comment compliments on her pics and I'm like...ffs do you not see/know how much of a turd she is? Ugh.

 

[SnarkySperg]

"Trauma can be passed down through your genes"

That has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

What about white people who are descended from slaves? Are they allowed to say that? Or can only the black slave descendants say that? Or does the one drop rule apply? Because pretty much every option except the first one sounds pretty fucking racist.

Spoiler: NSFL

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Another feeder trip, eh? Christ she's disgusting.


Edit: PS her FACE, holy shit she looks as miserable as Venus. "Everything is fine. I am good with the way things are currently unfolding."
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I still have PTSD from the nude she posted last year where her ass was out, but this is worse. I think she has gained a good bit of weight. That or she's used less photoshop.

EDIT: I'm drunk.

 

[America's Giggling Gigolo]

Spoiler: NSFL

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Also, seeing these photos taken in Palm Springs in her john's backyard reminded me of the Norman Mailer novel, The Deer Park. It's set in a fictionalized Palm Springs called Desert D'Or, and the plot revolves around all of these manipulative, desperate people trying to cling onto anything resembling success or fame. Tess would really fit right in.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

What about white people who are descended from slaves? Are they allowed to say that? Or can only the black slave descendants say that? Or does the one drop rule apply? Because pretty much every option except the first one sounds pretty fucking racist.


I still have PTSD from the nude she posted last year where her ass was out, but this is worse. I think she has gained a good bit. That or less photoshop.

My husband is American Indian, he wants to know where his reparations are. He doesn't like casinos, so that's out.

 

[Trombonista]

Spoiler: NSFL

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It looks like she might as well be naked in the first photo.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Also, seeing these photos taken in Palm Springs in her john's backyard reminded me of the Norman Mailer novel, The Deer Park. It's set in a fictionalized Palm Springs called Desert D'Or, and the plot revolves around all of these manipulative, desperate people trying to cling onto anything resembling success or fame. Tess would really fit right in.

I think it's hilarious her photo shoot is in someone's BACKYARD.

Other models are going to New York, Paris, Tahiti, and other interesting, fun places.
Tess has been reduced to photo shoots in someone's cactus-filled backyard.
How's that soopermoddle life going, Tess?

 

[Water-T]

I've seen roadkill with more lively facial expressions than Tess.

Tess needs to cover up her gross udders or else frat boys are going to tip her over when she sleeps.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

What a fun 35th birthday she’s had: posting a bunch of heavily photoshopped and very thirsty Instagram stories and turning tricks. Did she even talk about her kids at all yesterday?

 

[DelicateMageflower]

I always thought Palm Springs was like the Boca Raton of Southern California, a place where old folks went to die. Tess trying to make it seem like a hot spot cracks me up.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I always thought Palm Springs was like the Boca Raton of Southern California, a place where old folks went to die. Tess trying to make it seem like a hot spot cracks me up.

A lot of old, lonely, and horny guys with pensions to fritter away on fat hookers like Tess. So to her, it is a hot spot.

 

[Assman]

Spoiler: NSFL

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Body composition of obeasts has always fascinated me. Imagine weighing 350+ and still just having a couple of runny pancakes falling off your chest.

 

[LetThemEatCake]

She barely looks human in that photo of her from the back. I guess it's the combination of morbid obesity on a short, squat 5' 2" frame and photoshopping to make her appear less ... I don't know. Saggy? I would love for our resident photoshop experts to delinate exactly what's been altered here. I aways suspect she makes a big deal of smoothing and lifting her arse. She always seems to want to feature it, like it's her most enviable feature. FFS tess, you don't have any enviable features on that body of yours.

She tries to sell her shoots to her followers as being about FAHSUN and self-empowerment and all that, but it comes off as so sad-porny it makes me teeth hurt. This has to be nothing more than new feeder-client bait. Desperate, desperate, backyard porn pics. Long way from that last, shopped to shit Cosmo cover, eh, Tess?

Wonder if she celebrates each successful feeder session with a whole sheet cake and a spoon?

 

[theriddler3]

I always thought Palm Springs was like the Boca Raton of Southern California, a place where old folks went to die. Tess trying to make it seem like a hot spot cracks me up.

While that's true, there's also some nice resorts with waterslides and spas that she could've taken pics at. Lots of parents will take their kids to those so they can dump them at the pool while they go the spa. It's a reasonably affordable way to "treat" the whole family to some fun in the summer months.
Absolutely no one familiar with the area goes there to take IG pics of a cactus in the rocks like she did. She could have taken that picture right off the I-10 just about anywhere between Albuquerque and San Bernardino and no one would be able to tell she wasn't in Palm Springs.

 

[FinnaBinna]

Made an account just to post this. She really is a lying B! I like how she conveniently has on a black robe that she perfectly placed to make her body look smaller. Also is hilarious that her belly clearly hangs. She is so full of shit.

 

[Constellationzero]

Spoiler: NSFL

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The text: This is exactly the kind of behavior your average four year old would do. Then you take the four year old aside and have that 30 second run down on why we DO NOT behave and speak like this around mixed company. Even fucking TODDLERS learn how rude it is to remind everyone about their birthday and fish for presents and free food.

But not the grafittied lard barge.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Very little shooping, believe it or not. If any. Then again I've been day drinking. But here's some terrifying shit I saw while looking. Most pictures are at 400% magnification because I love pixels. Or something. I dunno, Imma get another jack n diet coke.

Spoiler: Horror within

Let's start with the back hump. Wowzers, has it grown.

Love how she's using her massive arm to push the robe up against her side and into her fat folds in order to create the illusion that she has a shape other than round.

Same over here, except she's holding it in place with her flesh mitten.

CHUB RUB. Wonder how many feet she walked to aggravate her skin so much.

Now, we gotta talk the feet.

I'm astonished at the change in flesh tone from her leg and top of her foot to the heel and bottom. And her toes. WTF. Goes from pale standard white bitch to 'I'm going to explode from high blood pressure and/or have a terrible sunburn and/or have blood pooling in this single spot in my body' red to beetus purple. Holy shit.

YIKES. The other foot is worse. Holy purple beetus-toes!!!

Jeebuz, it looks like that left foot is damned near ready for amputation. The right foot, despite being partially buried in the dirt, is starting to turn much the same - purple knuckles at the toes, heavy discoloration leading to that big toe. Ugh.

And to leave off on a more light-hearted note:

DUR HUR HUR IMMA MOODLE

 

[JambledUpWords]

The first slide is a video

 

[SnarkySperg]

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1. That is so narcissistic.
2. WE GET IT, YOU'RE GAY.