Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

Leonard Helplessness said:
Jesus, what do they want from the guy, blood? Are they going to fuck with Richard for the rest of his life unless they get an England-style hanging, drawing, and quartering and every goon gets to take home a piece to display on the mantle?

It's funny to see goons relentlessly shitting on Richard but keep in mind that Something Awful practically invented gay ops. Richard had a fuckton of paypigs who kept their wallets open because the staff were covering up Richard's bad behavior and banning anybody who spoke about it. Now that everything has come into the open, the paypigs are fucking livid and I worry about the possibility of some goon doing something ghastly to the guy.

Kiwis like to laugh at people; goons like to hurt people. It's hard to notice the difference if you're a lunatic who conflates the two actions, but the difference is there. For all the shit he's done, I believe that Richard should at least be given a chance to fix his life, move into a simple home, get a job, and try to work his way up with the time he has left. Besides, that's the only way he's going to pay his alimony and child support obligations. Fucker never had a real job in the first place, so it'll be tough for him, but maybe it could fix him. I can be a rainbow.

These goons want him erased from the earth. They want him fucking dead. The dead are not funny.
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To me this all reeks of virtue signaling of the worst kind, so fellow goons have concrete proof of the correct doctrine being followed.

I half-wish Lowtax would just dish out permas to every poster involved in the Two Minutes Hate, just to see and hear them melt down.

Beavis said:
SSDI payments can be garnished for child support. I could see him not working and moving in with his mom or her renting a small home or apartment for him while paying his living expenses.
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So he sponges off mommy until she finally bites it. Not sure if Lowtax would actively fight siblings/relatives for control of the estate, which would give him a little more cash to burn on booze, opioids and goldbelly pies. After that, who knows? Maybe he finally downs enough pills to take the Neverending Nap.
 
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The Sunday of a holiday weekend is a weird day to promise fireworks tbh.
wreddit said:
More insight on the organization of SA as it pertained to writers. For context, Phiz Kalifa is the guy who a) wrote the furry apologia and b) edited someone else's article to 'Lowtax is an abuser'.
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Both he and another writer spoke highly of Logan as an editor, though, describing her as energetic and efficacious. She seemed to be able to convince Lowtax to do stuff and that made the machine run more smoothly than not at all.
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Of course they did, she thought they were great writers and picked their shitty articles for the front page. They were Team Logan who thinks we’re comedy writers.

In reality the recent front page articles were far worse than they ever had been. Just getting content up isn’t hard, but attracting, curating and editing funny content is hard af. Logan did the former. I think just leaving it inactive might have been the better option.
 
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AnOminous said:
Imagine spending $100 for a bagged pie like some kind of absolute retard. The funniest thing is when the company that actually makes the shit Goldbelly sells to morons like Richard sells the same things on their own website for $20.
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I mean can't people just go to goldbelly's website, look at what counts as the "best" snack food and then google search those items to save like 66-75% off the cost? Am I giving ambien-winebox Richard too much credit here?
 
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Let's be real about the XeoForo thing here. At this point I've seen simple machines forums set up by randos that are more functional than SA now, and simple machines is free software. Cost was never the issue. The issue is laziness.
 
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Never Scored said:
Let's be real about the XeoForo thing here. At this point I've seen simple machines forums set up by randos that are more functional than SA now, and simple machines is free software. Cost was never the issue. The issue is laziness.
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Setup isn't the only problem though. Importing the old database with almost 20 years of cruft, weird custom data, and all these stupid homebrew features is the hard part. There's so many little dumb gotchas in the code shoehorned in over the years that it's a huge headache to modernize it. That's why shithole sites like Gaia Online are still running on their original garbage platforms. All the complexity makes it too difficult and expensive to be worth doing on top of Lowtax being an absentee forums slumlord.
 
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Questionable Ceviche said:
Setup isn't the only problem though. Importing the old database with almost 20 years of cruft, weird custom data, and all these stupid homebrew features is the hard part. There's so many little dumb gotchas in the code shoehorned in over the years that it's a huge headache to modernize it. That's why shithole sites like Gaia Online are still running on their original garbage platforms. All the complexity makes it too difficult and expensive to be worth doing on top of Lowtax being an absentee forums slumlord.
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Transferring all the content from the old SA forums shit the new platform was never happening anyway. Most forums when they migrate to new software create an archive of the original content, and just transfer stuff like accounts, post counts and regdates. I'm enough of an oldfag to have seen it a handful of times.

What I'm saying here is Lowtax is too lazy and cheap to even pay someone to install free, open-source forum software, transfer the accounts, set up the custom shit required for SA like paid avatar changes and archive the old shit. You think he couldn't have gotten some goon in SH/SC to do it for the $20,000 he raised? I've seen forums with thousands of members that aren't monetized at all do it.

Maybe I'm wrong. Someone like Null obviously knows more about it than I do. I've just been involved in internet faggotry for so long and have seen so many free forums with no ads or anything switch to new software, I find it hard to believe it wasn't feasible for a community the size of SA, especially after he raised literally tens of thousands of dollars to do it.
 
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Questionable Ceviche said:
Setup isn't the only problem though. Importing the old database with almost 20 years of cruft, weird custom data, and all these stupid homebrew features is the hard part. There's so many little dumb gotchas in the code shoehorned in over the years that it's a huge headache to modernize it. That's why shithole sites like Gaia Online are still running on their original garbage platforms. All the complexity makes it too difficult and expensive to be worth doing on top of Lowtax being an absentee forums slumlord.
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"But but but.... my internet history! Think of all the funny (sic?) posts that will be lost. Imagine if someone never saw the Dagoin Rompa LP in all it's glory or BYOB posts about getting a haircut that is all white noise for endless pages on end?! It would be like losing the Library of Alexandria!" - The saddest person on earth.

Just trash all the old posts and forum, start from scratch, and give everyone a zero post count.
 
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CharlesBarkley said:
"But but but.... my internet history! Think of all the funny (sic?) posts that will be lost. Imagine if someone never saw the Dagoin Rompa LP in all it's glory or BYOB posts about getting a haircut that is all white noise for endless pages on end?! It would be like losing the Library of Alexandria!" - The saddest person on earth.

Just trash all the old posts and forum, start from scratch, and give everyone a zero post count.
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Many old threads are ruined anyway as Waffle Images and other imagehosts from back then have died.
 
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Did Lowtax force Logan to have an abortion?

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Bonus:

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Lowtax should just nuke the entire SA database along with the forums, the admins, the troons, and the post counts. Seal the deal with a fresh install of XenForo with free registration. Find some pol tards or reddit refugees to be the new mod team, make it a free speech sanctuary. Then the forums will be funny again and Lowtax will have content to steal for the front page again. It will be just like 2001 all over again.
 
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Never Scored said:
Transferring all the content from the old SA forums shit the new platform was never happening anyway. Most forums when they migrate to new software create an archive of the original content, and just transfer stuff like accounts, post counts and regdates. I'm enough of an oldfag to have seen it a handful of times.

What I'm saying here is Lowtax is to lazy and cheap to even pay someone to install free, open-source forum software, transfer the accounts, set up the custom shit required for SA like paid avatar changes and archive the old shit. You think he couldn't have gotten some goon in SH/SC to do it for the $20,000 he raised? I've seen forums with thousands of members that aren't monetized at all do it.

Maybe I'm wrong. Someone like Null obviously knows more about it than I do. I've just been involved in internet faggotry for so long and have seen so many free forums with no ads or anything switch to new software, I find it hard to believe it wasn't feasible for a community the size of SA, especially after he raised literally tens of thousands of dollars to do it.
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It would have been absolutely doable with the amount of capital at his disposal, even if he did zero of the work himself, by hiring people with the firehose of goon money available.

Vivacious said:
Did Lowtax force Logan to have an abortion?

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Pregnancy saga, called it. I'm skeptical this is real. She just needs attention.
 
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Vivacious said:
Did Lowtax force Logan to have an abortion?

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Why can’t I just say shit to get attention and sympathy without anyone holding me accountable???

This might be the closet we get to the predicted pregnancy announcement. Can you imagine Lowtax fml expression when Logan said she was pregnant? I could see Lowtax agreeing to Logan being COO or brand strategist at large if she’d have a (real or fake) abortion.

Tbh I don’t think it’s possible to be in a relationship with a BPD chick without a fake or real pregnancy drama. It’s like asking an army sniper not to use a scope, it’s a vital tool in their wheelhouse.

Of course she reminds us this has absolutely nothing to do with what’s consumed her entire life and FB posts for the last eight months. Nothing!
 
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AnOminous said:
Imagine spending $100 for a bagged pie like some kind of absolute retard. The funniest thing is when the company that actually makes the shit Goldbelly sells to morons like Richard sells the same things on their own website for $20.
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Do we know exactly what pies he orders? I figured I'd just go to Goldbelly and look for the $90 pies, but they're all $90+. My God.
 
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