Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[JuniperFalls]

It can't be true at all since Aberdeen and the surrounding area is a shithole. I mean Ocean Shores has its season during the summer, but for the rest of the year the entire region appears to be almost a third world country, so I can't imagine any land out there being worth millions.

Out of curiosity, I did a search on realtor dot com for properties for sale in Aberdeen and ten miles surrounding it, maximum price $1 million, property type "any" (including houses or just land).

As of July 14, the single most expensive property for sale is $789K -- a large new house on six acres . The second most expensive listing is $724,900, for what looks like a lovely, well-preserved old Victorian or Edwardian mansion (5,097 square feet) in a city neighborhood. The thirdmost expensive property is only $575,000, for a 10,000-square foot apartment building ("multifamily home").

Did the same search with "no maximum price" -- so if there are any properties worth multiple millions on the market, they'd appear -- there is one listing, for a farm/ranch house, 4BR 4BA, plus other buildings, on 40.8 acres, going for $1,250,000. And the second-most expensive property currently for sale anywhere within ten miles of Aberdeen is still that $789K house.

Do a no-maximum-price search for TWENTY miles outside of Aberdeen, and there's only one additional property selling for more than a million: $1,250,000 for a .99 acre lot in Westport, a waterfront property that looks like it's part of a boat launch or yacht club or something. I'm going to guess Westport is the rich person/country club part of that region? Another listing in Montesano, a large five-bedroom house or apartment building on 207.84 acres, sells for only $958,000.

So, yeah: even a 200-plus acre property with a large house is going for less than one million dollars. Even if Lucas' family does indeed own a large piece of land in the area, it's highly unlikely that land is worth "millions." Here's the three most expensive properties currently available anywhere within 20 miles of Aberdeen:

With the screenshot, I could not capture the part indicating I'd asked for "all property types" and "no maximum price," though you can see that the listings are done highest-price first.

 

[Amewsed]

Out of curiosity, I did a search on realtor dot com for properties for sale in Aberdeen and ten miles surrounding it, maximum price $1 million, property type "any" (including houses or just land).

As of July 14, the single most expensive property for sale is $789K -- a large new house on six acres . The second most expensive listing is $724,900, for what looks like a lovely, well-preserved old Victorian or Edwardian mansion (5,097 square feet) in a city neighborhood. The thirdmost expensive property is only $575,000, for a 10,000-square foot apartment building ("multifamily home").

Did the same search with "no maximum price" -- so if there are any properties worth multiple millions on the market, they'd appear -- there is one listing, for a farm/ranch house, 4BR 4BA, plus other buildings, on 40.8 acres, going for $1,250,000. And the second-most expensive property currently for sale anywhere within ten miles of Aberdeen is still that $789K house.

Do a no-maximum-price search for TWENTY miles outside of Aberdeen, and there's only one additional property selling for more than a million: $1,250,000 for a .99 acre lot in Westport, a waterfront property that looks like it's part of a boat launch or yacht club or something. I'm going to guess Westport is the rich person/country club part of that region? Another listing in Montesano, a large five-bedroom house or apartment building on 207.84 acres, sells for only $958,000.

So, yeah: even a 200-plus acre property with a large house is going for less than one million dollars. Even if Lucas' family does indeed own a large piece of land in the area, it's highly unlikely that land is worth "millions." Here's the three most expensive properties currently available anywhere within 20 miles of Aberdeen:

View attachment 1448721

With the screenshot, I could not capture the part indicating I'd asked for "all property types" and "no maximum price," though you can see that the listings are done highest-price first.

He's likely accounting for the age gap love that has taken place there between the rent/step-rent creating an even more fertile environment for he and zoomer bae to settle down in 20-30 years; because there's no chance he wants to inherit all those millions straight away.
He, z-bae, and professor x the mutant telomere reenforced baby will go all Anthony Kiedis and live under the bridge downtown like true anarcho-blablablaists until that time comes.

Property values through the roof.

 

[SwollenGorl]

Out of curiosity, I did a search on realtor dot com for properties for sale in Aberdeen and ten miles surrounding it, maximum price $1 million, property type "any" (including houses or just land).

As of July 14, the single most expensive property for sale is $789K -- a large new house on six acres . The second most expensive listing is $724,900, for what looks like a lovely, well-preserved old Victorian or Edwardian mansion (5,097 square feet) in a city neighborhood. The thirdmost expensive property is only $575,000, for a 10,000-square foot apartment building ("multifamily home").

Did the same search with "no maximum price" -- so if there are any properties worth multiple millions on the market, they'd appear -- there is one listing, for a farm/ranch house, 4BR 4BA, plus other buildings, on 40.8 acres, going for $1,250,000. And the second-most expensive property currently for sale anywhere within ten miles of Aberdeen is still that $789K house.

Do a no-maximum-price search for TWENTY miles outside of Aberdeen, and there's only one additional property selling for more than a million: $1,250,000 for a .99 acre lot in Westport, a waterfront property that looks like it's part of a boat launch or yacht club or something. I'm going to guess Westport is the rich person/country club part of that region? Another listing in Montesano, a large five-bedroom house or apartment building on 207.84 acres, sells for only $958,000.

So, yeah: even a 200-plus acre property with a large house is going for less than one million dollars. Even if Lucas' family does indeed own a large piece of land in the area, it's highly unlikely that land is worth "millions." Here's the three most expensive properties currently available anywhere within 20 miles of Aberdeen:

View attachment 1448721

With the screenshot, I could not capture the part indicating I'd asked for "all property types" and "no maximum price," though you can see that the listings are done highest-price first.

I've been wanting to say something for while but didn't want to power level or anything. No matter what ballpark value Lucas has ever thrown out as to the value of his parents land stuck me as absolutely nothing. Even those properties on Zillow are grossly overpriced. Nobody will pay near that amount for a piece of property in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, not to mention it's an insignificant sum to live on to begin with. Even if Lucas were to inherit the entire property, he wouldn't be able to make any productive use of it, nor be able to pay property taxes from his SSI alone. Best we take his "hemp rocket fuel" at face value, no?

 

[Rescuetoast]

I’ve been to Aberdeen and I can tell you from stopping there for gas that there is absolutely nothing there worth a million dollars.

 

[Wernology]

Guess who got a response back from HoC regarding Lucas filming in the bathroom and sleeping areas and not bothering to blur out the faces and unclothed bodies of other men?

 

[WonderWino]

Guess who got a response back from HoC regarding Lucas filming in the bathroom and sleeping areas and not bothering to blur out the faces and unclothed bodies of other men?

View attachment 1448950

I wonder if this has anything to do with the sudden disappearance of his phone. If not, its a fortunate coincidence for him

 

[Da Dude123]

Not to rain on your parade, and of course we love all of your work that you are doing, But that was a pretty copy pasta response from HOC. It was a very blase response to what you told them. Sort of looks like a response to get you off their back but still act like they care. Now, I could be wrong, and maybe they will actually do something. But from that wording and how generic and canned it was, it would be optimistic to think they are going to do anything. Basically, they are a homeless shelter and deal with banged up people. Most people who are homeless did not get that way by being functional members of society. So, they are used to messed up people. Still, they should absolutely put a stop to the Cute Older Daddy doing his bathroom filming, but I would not count on it. Lucas does deserve to get booted, especially, considering this is his "second chance" with HOC. It will be interesting to see. Lucas going dark, we will have to use our intelligence and sources to see what we can find out.

I've been wanting to say something for while but didn't want to power level or anything. No matter what ballpark value Lucas has ever thrown out as to the value of his parents land stuck me as absolutely nothing. Even those properties on Zillow are grossly overpriced. Nobody will pay near that amount for a piece of property in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, not to mention it's an insignificant sum to live on to begin with. Even if Lucas were to inherit the entire property, he wouldn't be able to make any productive use of it, nor be able to pay property taxes from his SSI alone. Best we take his "hemp rocket fuel" at face value, no?

Guess who got a response back from HoC regarding Lucas filming in the bathroom and sleeping areas and not bothering to blur out the faces and unclothed bodies of other men?

View attachment 1448950

 

[Wernology]

Not to rain on your parade, and of course we love all of your work that you are doing, But that was a pretty copy pasta response from HOC. It was a very blase response to what you told them. Sort of looks like a response to get you off their back but still act like they care. Now, I could be wrong, and maybe they will actually do something. But from that wording and how generic and canned it was, it would be optimistic to think they are going to do anything. Basically, they are a homeless shelter and deal with banged up people. Most people who are homeless did not get that way by being functional members of society. So, they are used to messed up people. Still, they should absolutely put a stop to the Cute Older Daddy doing his bathroom filming, but I would not count on it. Lucas does deserve to get booted, especially, considering this is his "second chance" with HOC. It will be interesting to see. Lucas going dark, we will have to use our intelligence and sources to see what we can find out.

What parade?

I was only mentioning that I got a response from them, canned as it is, as a few pages back there were others saying they'd written about Lucas filming in the bathrooms and hadn't heard anything back; even getting a canned response means that, at this point, they're getting enough calls or e-mails about those videos that they can't ignore it by not replying at all anymore. Lucas has been bumped up a tiny notch to, "Not something we can pretend we don't notice anymore'.

Honestly, I don't want to get him kicked out; having to sleep rough isn't something I'd really wish on anyone and having literally nowhere to go to sleep could make him go completely feral and hurt someone (or just land in the loony bin again for awhile but, y'know...), but they do need to either take his phone from him while he's staying there if they don't trust him to stick to his word if they tell him not to make videos or take pictures in the bathrooms or sleeping areas, or do something to prevent him from taking bathroom selfies and videos that also feature other people staying there who you know probably didn't even realize they were being put all over social media because Lucas is a clueless, self-centered fuckup.

Ideally, they'd talk to him and he'd stop but it's Lucas and he's a massive child, so it's more likely he'll be told he has to leave his phone with them at check in, they'll let it charge overnight, and he'll get it back after he checks out in the morning.

Fuck him. Let him sleep on the streets, clearly his own family feels this way. He's been given enough chances, and he'll never have it as good as he had with Pioneer. We all know they won't do anything, but making them acknowledge he is a problem is a good step. Same with Pioneer. I'm sure the complaints about Lucas helped get him kicked, along with the harassment of other residents. Whenever Lucas gets banned from places it's his own offline behavior that does it, you don't need to feel guilty for an adult facing consequences of his own actions, even if Lucas is a manchild.
Ideally he'd lose his phone, along with the login info for his social media accounts, and with no online outlet his narcissism would crumble and he'd be forced to get actual therapy/help, if nothing else to give him someone to vent his incel shit to since he can't scream at the internet anymore

I don't disagree with any of that, I just personally have a hard time wishing anyone to be homeless but that my be because I'm pretty far North and winters are brutal.

Lucas' problems are 100% self inflicted as we all know, and the best case scenario is that he gets tossed in the loony bin again and they manage to get him declared mentally incompetent to make his own medical decisions based on--literally all of his videos and keep him in some kind of group home where he's forced to take his meds and attend therapy regularly.

Sadly, that's not likely to happen.

TBH the funniest part is, if he does end up sleeping rough, he has no supplies and will probably literally start sleeping under bridges like the nasty troll he is.

 

[teleméres69]

Fuck him. Let him sleep on the streets, clearly his own family feels this way. He's been given enough chances, and he'll never have it as good as he had with Pioneer. We all know they won't do anything, but making them acknowledge he is a problem is a good step. Same with Pioneer. I'm sure the complaints about Lucas helped get him kicked, along with the harassment of other residents. Whenever Lucas gets banned from places it's his own offline behavior that does it, you don't need to feel guilty for an adult facing consequences of his own actions, even if Lucas is a manchild.
Ideally he'd lose his phone, along with the login info for his social media accounts, and with no online outlet his narcissism would crumble and he'd be forced to get actual therapy/help, if nothing else to give him someone to vent his incel shit to since he can't scream at the internet anymore

What parade?

I was only mentioning that I got a response from them, canned as it is, as a few pages back there were others saying they'd written about Lucas filming in the bathrooms and hadn't heard anything back; even getting a canned response means that, at this point, they're getting enough calls or e-mails about those videos that they can't ignore it by not replying at all anymore. Lucas has been bumped up a tiny notch to, "Not something we can pretend we don't notice anymore'.

Honestly, I don't want to get him kicked out; having to sleep rough isn't something I'd really wish on anyone and having literally nowhere to go to sleep could make him go completely feral and hurt someone (or just land in the loony bin again for awhile but, y'know...), but they do need to either take his phone from him while he's staying there if they don't trust him to stick to his word if they tell him not to make videos or take pictures in the bathrooms or sleeping areas, or do something to prevent him from taking bathroom selfies and videos that also feature other people staying there who you know probably didn't even realize they were being put all over social media because Lucas is a clueless, self-centered fuckup.

Ideally, they'd talk to him and he'd stop but it's Lucas and he's a massive child, so it's more likely he'll be told he has to leave his phone with them at check in, they'll let it charge overnight, and he'll get it back after he checks out in the morning.

 

[wenttobermuda]

When Lucas's social media is fallow it's a great opportunity for Wernologists to scrutinize his classic content, and produce intensely autistic, TLDR Wernology. I'm drafting a 10,000 word think piece tentatively titled "Lucas Werner is a Fat Faggot."

Honestly, I don't want to get him kicked out; having to sleep rough isn't something I'd really wish on anyone...

I admire your work, which is why I'm disappointed.

It seems you bear a small measure of compassion for Lucas. It would be a loss to Wernology if you begin questioning the morality of mocking a severely mentally ill indigent man. Lucas is a cartoon character, forever getting anvils dropped on his head. His misfortunes are gags.

Lucas' problems are 100% self inflicted as we all know, and the best case scenario is that he gets tossed in the loony bin again and they manage to get him declared mentally incompetent to make his own medical decisions based on--literally all of his videos and keep him in some kind of group home where he's forced to take his meds and attend therapy regularly.

Sadly, that's not likely to happen.

True and sad hut nonetheless funny. This is really all he, or his parents, can hope for. A scrap of dignity through acknowleding his dependence and dysfunction. A very sad, humble ambition. But even that is beyond his reach.

Fuck him. Let him sleep on the streets, clearly his own family feels this way. He's been given enough chances, and he'll never have it as good as he had with Pioneer.

It is axiomatic that Lucas is beyond help. He's spent two decades proving that there is no saving him. He'll never be an independent adult. He will never get any better. He is hopeless. It's glorious.

The Pioneer era in his fart chamber was his best life. He will, in all likelihood, never have it so good again. The days he spent creeping on community college students and blowing his student loans on empty calories and boardgames he'll never play, those were the glory days of his wasted life.

So yes, fuck him. Just as long as he has a way to share his angst with the world, so we can giggle at it and archive it.

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

But did you guys really need to go and write a thesis on why King Roy's property isn't a million dollars?

We already knew. It's Lucas we're talking about. He pulled 1 mil out of his ass because it's big and round like him.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

The Pioneer era in his fart chamber was his best life. He will, in all likelihood, never have it so good again. The days he spent creeping on community college students and blowing his student loans on empty calories and boardgames he'll never play, those were the glory days of his wasted life.

I couldn’t agree with this more. As far as best case scenarios for Wern, this was it. He didn’t have to work or earn a penny, he was set up in his own space, he had enough money from his tugboat to eat like the ravenous pig he is and he even got loans to pretend to be a college student... somehow not only did he manage to fuck this up, he was completely ungrateful for it! Because you know... capitalism is bad, it‘s always someone or something else’s fault for his situation, etc.

Being a homeless troll living under a bridge with no friends or support system is exactly what Lucas wants. He has done everything in his power to make sure this becomes his reality. And you can say, well he is mentally ill, etc etc. But it seems to me the most mentally well functioning part of Lucas’s brain is the stubborn part that refuses to acknowledge he has a problem of any kind. For Lucas, it will always be the fault of someone or something other than himself for his predicament; the single key identifying factor of all lolcows.

 

[Wernology]

When Lucas's social media is fallow it's a great opportunity for Wernologists to scrutinize his classic content, and produce intensely autistic, TLDR Wernology. I'm drafting a 10,000 word think piece tentatively titled "Lucas Werner is a Fat Faggot."


I admire your work, which is why I'm disappointed.

It seems you bear a small measure of compassion for Lucas. It would be a loss to Wernology if you begin questioning the morality of mocking a severely mentally ill indigent man. Lucas is a cartoon character, forever getting anvils dropped on his head. His misfortunes are gags.


True and sad hut nonetheless funny. This is really all he, or his parents, can hope for. A scrap of dignity through acknowleding his dependence and dysfunction. A very sad, humble ambition. But even that is beyond his reach.


It is axiomatic that Lucas is beyond help. He's spent two decades proving that there is no saving him. He'll never be an independent adult. He will never get any better. He is hopeless. It's glorious.

The Pioneer era in his fart chamber was his best life. He will, in all likelihood, never have it so good again. The days he spent creeping on community college students and blowing his student loans on empty calories and boardgames he'll never play, those were the glory days of his wasted life.

So yes, fuck him. Just as long as he has a way to share his angst with the world, so we can giggle at it and archive it.

Nah, I can mock him for that stuff as that stuff is a problem in his life because of his own shitty choices (as is being homeless).

He's had every opportunity to fix or at least mitigate all of his problems and refuses to do so, and I have no trouble mocking that.

He's probably going to eventually get kicked out of HoC for his behavior and that definitely is also his own fault, not the fault of anyone who has sent them an e-mail or called about his behavior while there because his behavior while there has been completely unacceptable. If he wont't change that (which he won't), he'll deservedly get the boot and it'll be nobody's fault but his own.

And, y'know, he'll blame trolls, haters, and KF for it because if nobody had tattled on him for filming his stupid rants in the shared bathroom/shower, well, he wouldn't be having to sleep under a bridge, would he? He gets what he deserves in the end and it has little to nothing to do with morality so much as it has to do with him being an absolutely brilliant example of what happens when social safety nets mixed with laws that make it difficult to force someone who is clearly mentally ill into treatment and legally make them continue it (which is a whole different hornets' nest to hit) have someone his size cannonball onto them. Systems designed to help people, unfortunately, can only really help people who want it and Lucas has made it clear he doesn't want help, he just wants everything given to him without having to put any effort in.

That aside, not wanting to see someone homeless isn't Lucas specific, it's just something that really only makes things worse and in cases of people like Lucas and his unmedicated mental illness, can make them actually dangerous to the general public. I don't give a fuck if he harms himself, but if he completely snaps because he ends up banned from every shelter (despite it being due to his own behavior) and manages to harm someone else, that's not a good situation mostly because it's likely he'd target younger teenagers or children for his child bride fantasy.

Edit: This morning's cards went on about him getting a swift boot up the ass in the form or karmic justice, and also pointed out a high chance of some "sudden" changes that he's not going to like.

The funniest one was the card that specifically carries "highly closeted homosexual and will fight you about it if he thinks he might be outed".

 

[Nobleman]

HEADLINE: Lucas wasn’t on the roster this morning...so something happened. Granted this is the time of month his payee typically gives him some of his huddled, so he may be back at the hotel again. I’ll provide more information as I get it.

 

[mothman96]

HEADLINE: Lucas wasn’t on the roster this morning...so something happened. Granted this is the time of month his payee typically gives him some of his huddled, so he may be back at the hotel again. I’ll provide more information as I get it.

Do you have connections with the other shelters in Spokane? If something did happen and he will no longer be at HOC, he likely headed to one of the other shelters.

 

[Krathnami]

HEADLINE: Lucas wasn’t on the roster this morning...so something happened. Granted this is the time of month his payee typically gives him some of his huddled, so he may be back at the hotel again. I’ll provide more information as I get it.

If Lucas got the boot, I wonder if he’d be allowed at other shelters. He’s fortunate they let him stay there since he was previously banned, and we know he’s been banned from other shelters. Additionally, as someone who works for a social services organization, we talk, and there are certain clients who are known throughout the system. It’s not a terrible stretch to conclude he might not be allowed at multiple shelters.

One wonders if, sleeping under a bridge or next to a dumpster in an alleyway, if he would ever reminisce about his time in the fartbox as “the good old days.”

 

[Nobleman]

Do you have connections with the other shelters in Spokane? If something did happen and he will no longer be at HOC, he likely headed to one of the other shelters.

There is only one other men’s shelter he could go to, Union Gospel Mission. Highly doubt it because they don’t take state money, so have very strict rules including urine analysis upon entry, and Lucas of course from his videos would not test clean for either alcohol or pot.

EDIT: sorry, there is also Truth Ministries but they are always packed—due to somewhat pampered accommodations—and people have to pay 2-5 dollars a night to stay there, and well we know that ten dollars for the Gondola is a bit too pricey for Lucas.

 

[mothman96]

There is only one other men’s shelter he could go to, Union Gospel Mission. Highly doubt it because they don’t take state money, so have very strict rules including urine analysis upon entry, and Lucas of course from his videos would not test clean for either alcohol or pot.

EDIT: sorry, there is also Truth Ministries but they are always packed—due to somewhat pampered accommodations—and people have to pay 2-5 dollars a night to stay there, and well we know that ten dollars for the Gondola is a bit too pricey for Lucas.

UGM, I think that's the shelter that kicked him out in 2016 for creeping on a woman hairdresser.

ETA:
Correction-- it was Truth Ministries:

 

[wenttobermuda]

Being a homeless troll living under a bridge with no friends or support system is exactly what Lucas wants. He has done everything in his power to make sure this becomes his reality. And you can say, well he is mentally ill, etc etc. But it seems to me the most mentally well functioning part of Lucas’s brain is the stubborn part that refuses to acknowledge he has a problem of any kind. For Lucas, it will always be the fault of someone or something other than himself for his predicament; the single key identifying factor of all lolcows.

We know what Lucas wants, and it's not the miserable life under a bridge he's fashioned for himself. He's not coy about his desires.

Lucas wants a teenage sex slave/mommy to provide for him, submit to butthole torture, and present him with daughters to molest. He wants to be taken seriously as an adult male. He wants to eat a lot of his favorite foods. He wants to maintain a buzz. He wants his parents to hurry up and die.

Your point that he does nothing to secure his wants is well taken, but imo mistaken. Yes, it seems to the rational observer that Lucas spares no effort to make his life worse. Yet, in Lucas's rotten ape mind everything he does, from screaming on IG to harassing his neighbors, is a legitimate way to get what he wants. He's very calculating, but understands nothing.

Lucas's denial mechanism is shockingly robust, and this is the source of his power. He is either too stupid or too crazy to acknowledge that he's living in a hell of his own choosing. It seems like a matter of self preservation.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Guess who got a response back from HoC regarding Lucas filming in the bathroom and sleeping areas and not bothering to blur out the faces and unclothed bodies of other men?

View attachment 1448950

Seems like you got chinned off with a generic response, but I’m praying to glorious Allah (peace be upon him) that I’m wrong.

ETA just seen above post. Oh Lordy lord this is intriguing