- Joined
- Jun 7, 2018
I am going to historically sperg here for a second. Human Civilizations have "the mother rivers". The Nile, the Euphrates, The Tigris, the Indus, The Yangtze, and the Yellow.
All of these rivers also get ascribed a female personality based upon their behavior. The Nile is a benevolent sexy mother. Stern but Fair. It floods predictably and if you work with it, its the absolute best for running a civilization. A real loving mommy. The Tigris and the Euphrates are capricious bitches. They flood at random but when they do its not the end of the world. More like when your drunk girlfriend gets into a screaming match at you because you left the toilet seat up. Or else finds out you have been cheating on her. Because any civilization using them has to use both. The Indus is the boring housewife. Its as predictable as the Nile, but nowhere near as sexy.
All pretty good so far, but now we get to the Chinese rivers. The Yellow river is the totalitarian bitch wife. She floods at random, will cut your dick off in your sleep, but when she's in a good mood she lets you grow lots of wheat. The Yangtze though...the Yangtze is a psychopathic man hating lesbian. She doesn't just flood at random, she floods REPEATEDLY at random, and when she does its a disaster every time. She's not a wife, lover, or benevolent mother like the others. She's a hateful spirit that will kill you for the slightest insult.
And the brain trust at the CCP central committee decided this river out of all the others was just PERFECT for the largest hydro-engineering project in human history. A Real shame the Red Guards killed all the Yangtze Spirit priests off during the cultural revolution. They would have warned the fools of what would happen if they roused the goddess to anger, or worse, tried to put literal chains on her.
As an aside, how would you rate the Mississippi in this analogy?