Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 18, 2020

Ew.

Yeah Tumblr witches are kind of disappointing tbh. I was expecting animal sacrifice and instead I find anti TERF sigils.

Moguro Fukuzou · Jul 18, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Ew.

I don't think any of the Greek Gods want your nasty crotch blood, I'm pretty sure that even the few times there were human sacrifices to the Gods they always exclude women due to the perceived "impure" nature that the Greeks associated women with (That pesky Pandora!). Why does she just assume that blood sacrifice was common with the Greeks? Blood offerings were typically things like cattle, goats, sheep, and swine (special cults might use an animal related to their God of worship like horses for Poseidon) but they also used Non-blood related offerings and libations.

You'd want to know which God you're offering to ahead of time so you would be able to big the most suitable offering as to have a better chance at getting their attention. She's being so half-assed about her worship for apparently being a Hellenic Pagan, offering non-fresh impure blood to whatever God you think might fit.

Also, why are you bugging the Gods for attention? You only do offerings when you want to try and draw the Gods attention in the hopes they'll do something, bless something, judge something, or forgive something. This is how you get added to a Gods shit list, an especially bad place to be with the Greek Gods. I feel like her knowledge is really lacking regarding the Greek Gods and worship, while we don't know how all the secret cults operated, there's enough we do know to tell her the idea is far from how one would actually give offerings to the Greek Gods.

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 18, 2020

Moguro Fukuzou said:
I don't think any of the Greek Gods want your nasty crotch blood, I'm pretty sure that even the few times there were human sacrifices to the Gods they always exclude women due to the perceived "impure" nature that the Greeks associated women with (That pesky Pandora!). Why does she just assume that blood sacrifice was common with the Greeks? Blood offerings were typically things like cattle, goats, sheep, and swine (special cults might use an animal related to their God of worship like horses for Poseidon) but they also used Non-blood related offerings and libations.

You'd want to know which God you're offering to ahead of time so you would be able to big the most suitable offering as to have a better chance at getting their attention. She's being so half-assed about her worship for apparently being a Hellenic Pagan, offering non-fresh impure blood to whatever God you think might fit.

Also, why are you bugging the Gods for attention? You only do offerings when you want to try and draw the Gods attention in the hopes they'll do something, bless something, judge something, or forgive something. This is how you get added to a Gods shit list, an especially bad place to be with the Greek Gods. I feel like her knowledge is really lacking regarding the Greek Gods and worship, while we don't know how all the secret cults operated, there's enough we do know to tell her the idea is far from how one would actually give offerings to the Greek Gods.

Yeah if I were an almighty God, ruler of humans and someone dared offer me period blood I'll probably make them infertile or something.

UnsufficentBoobage · Jul 19, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
Yeah if I were an almighty God, ruler of humans and someone dared offer me period blood I'll probably make them infertile or something.

It's tumblr, none of them utilise their wombs anyway, so infertility wouldn't fly as a punishment. Now, some nasty UTI, on the other hand...

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 19, 2020

Or. . . Maybe that's what trees usually do. They grow.

Who cares these stupid spells don't do anything.

Why does she care about asexual aromantic? She's the Goddess of sex and romance.

How do they know all these other witches irl?

How is this witchcraft?!?!?! I feel like this is just an excuse to eat ice cream.

Good luck with that.

Seriously where are all the Nazi witches these people are always talking about? I haven't found any so far.

Do they actually think this does anything?

Imagine you visit the house of a girl you like, things are going great, you're really hitting it off. She asks "Would you like to stay for dinner?" You say yes. She hands you a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. Your favorite. But. . . It tastes off.

NoReturn · Jul 19, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
Good luck with that.

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Seriously where are all the Nazi witches these people are always talking about? I haven't found any so far.

The logical inconsistencies of "cultural appropriation" is magic really gets to me.

IF these "witches" proclaim all these forces (magic, spirit guides, etc.) are real
AND ALSO IF these deities/spirits/etc. work the work they are stated to work
THEN THEREFORE does it not also follow that such forces would work regardless of who invokes them?

If the Hopi were the ones who discovered nuclear fusion, and provided specific steps on how to perform it, you could build a nuke regardless of your own cultural background.
In a way it almost seems like an underhanded way of acknowledging that this is all a LARP; like when a Christian maintains that their god is the one true god but still says you shouldn't shit on Muslims because it's "morally wrong" or whatever. In their heart of hearts they still believe those people are wrong.

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 19, 2020

It wouldn't work either way.

Why do witches hate terfs so much? They are both crazy, just of a slightly different flavor.

Why is sexual censored?

Aren't you like. . . Sexually harrasing the police?

The author's name is fitting, because my faith in humanity is bloody and destroyed.

If you have energy to do "magic" you can brush your teeth.

Why are they making the text so many different colors?

Just take them to the vet.

Or you could just sell all the unused candles you have.

I'm just curious, how do they determine what "magickal" properties an ingredient has? Like, I somewhat understand why an egg symbolizes protection, because it keeps chicken fetuses alive, but cool whip for prosperity? That stuff is just whipped cream for lazy people. Cool whip also contains sodium polyphosphate, which is linked to weak bones. I'm not sure how that helps with prosperity, but maybe her definition of success is different from mine.

DavidFerrie · Jul 20, 2020

Tay Tay said:
To be fair, isn't New Testament just a fanfic for the Old Testament?

No, it's the sequel.
The Book of Mormon is Biblical fanfic.

DavidFerrie · Jul 20, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Aren't you like. . . Sexually harrasing the police?

Sweet Ares, what an idiot. Athena was the Greek goddess of war. She would have been far more likely to bless the cops than some Portlandian oogle displaying her stinky coochie in public.

Troonologist PhD · Jul 20, 2020

PurpleSquirrel said:
Sweet Ares, what an idiot. Athena was the Greek goddess of war. She would have been far more likely to bless the cops than some Portlandian oogle displaying her stinky coochie in public.

She was basically a goddess of civilization in addition to warfare and wisdom, so yes BLM and Antifa would probably be on her shit list.

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Why does she care about asexual aromantic? She's the Goddess of sex and romance.

To my knowledge platonic love is part of her domain. A better question is why would she care about T and gender shit? Dionysus’s domain is the closest to that because he was the god of cross dressers and effeminacy.

EDIT: Just thought to add the Aphrodite part in.

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 20, 2020

How can you be the daughter of Artemis isn't she a virgin or something?

I garauntee a literal God would not want to have sex with you.

Please stop having imaginary sex and just get a boyfriend.

Is she promiscuous with humans or only demons?

I feel kind of guilty about making fun of these people. There's something wrong with them. But it's so easy to find material. It's like stealing candy from a baby.

Sebben Crudele · Jul 20, 2020

These people are like the weebs with their waifus, but instead of fucking a pillow they have astral sex.

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 20, 2020

You don't need magic to loose weight. There is no need to enchant a piece of blue topaz during the waning moon. Just diet and exercise.

DavidFerrie · Jul 20, 2020

Sebben Crudele said:
These people are like the weebs with their waifus, but instead of fucking a pillow they have astral sex.

"Astral sex". Riiiiight....

The concept reminds me of a line by legendary comedienne Lily Tomlin:

"Is there sex after death?
"Yes, but we won't be able to feel it!"

fuzzyrodent85 · Jul 20, 2020

Please don't.

AMHOLIO · Jul 20, 2020

Troonologist PhD said:
To my knowledge platonic love is part of her domain. A better question is why would she care about T and gender shit? Dionysus’s domain is the closest to that because he was the god of cross dressers and effeminacy.

My big question is why would Aphroditie help the sick or disabled? I mean her actual husband who she didn't care to fuck was disabled, so

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Please don't.

Last line is peak random.txt

NoReturn · Jul 20, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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Please don't.

See, now I'm wondering what else you could do with that blood. Could you dump it in the garden as makeshift bloodmeal?

Aaa0aaa0 said:
My big question is why would Aphroditie help the sick or disabled? I mean her actual husband who she didn't care to fuck was disabled, so

Last line is peak random.txt

Fanon Aphrodite: "I am love and I do not judge!"
Canon Aphrodite: "LOL ugly people. Gross."

HIVidaBoheme · Jul 20, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
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How can you be the daughter of Artemis isn't she a virgin or something?

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I garauntee a literal God would not want to have sex with you.

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Please stop having imaginary sex and just get a boyfriend.

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Is she promiscuous with humans or only demons?

View attachment 1461384 View attachment 1461386

I feel kind of guilty about making fun of these people. There's something wrong with them. But it's so easy to find material. It's like stealing candy from a baby.