Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
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How many sweets does one landwhale need? It seems like she’s getting them nearly every day.
 
Yeah, Rumer Willis is not your friend, Tess. Did she meet her at some stupid red carpet event 3 years ago and decide they're besties or something? She's fucking desperate at this point. The D-List won't associate with someone so far down the food chain, and her luck as Tess, former A-lister's kids certainly won't.

The connection is that they once attended a party together: https://apnews.com/bd3e699cd015453bb682ff10d49c547d

Being in the same room as a celebrity doesn’t make you BFFs, Tess. The party was thrown by fellow lolcow Lena Dunham. I’m sure that while Lena’s crashing into irrelevance, she would come down hard on Tubby Tess pretending to be her friend. Dunham is scum but knows that associating with the likes of Holliday would be deleterious to what’s left of her career. This likely explains why she never tries to pretend to be Lena’s friend like she does with Rumer Willis, Mia Tyler, Lizzo, etc.

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How many sweets does one landwhale need? It seems like she’s getting them nearly every day.

It says “Share Size” but we all know she’s not sharing any of them.
 
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I'm laughing at her claiming she's worn them since long before she became an ambassador because 'it really works for my plus sized body'. There is no way that she'd want to work out in that regularly. It's barely holding her in. I can imagine if I was wearing clothes that many sizes too small, I'd not particularly want to work out in them. Assuming I could still breathe, it looks like if she so much as farts, those leggings will split open. Let alone actual exercise on a regular basis. Also, while IDK about the trainer before Massy, I know she didn't seem to work out much at all til she hired Massy and then revealed it all to be a publicity stunt to drum up attention for Fabletics.
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How many sweets does one landwhale need? It seems like she’s getting them nearly every day.
Well, now we know why she's 450 pounds.
 
Also, while IDK about the trainer before Massy
MacFit. He lasted two paid rounds of "training". He didn't even attempt to make her eat reasonable portions or meal plan like Massy did, and she still had a toddler tantrum the whole time.

Mac made her walk around the block at the gym, and on the treadmill, AND made her do medicine ball exercises and wall pushups. The first round of training took place when she first got signed by MILK - probably an attempt to get her back into an actual size 22 so they could stop pissing clients off - and the second, when she got pregnant with Bowie after gaining 100 pounds in the year since Nick moved stateside.

I've said this before: to her everlasting credit, she really worked hard to stay weight neutral during her pregnancy. She never stated this publicly, but the fact that right after she gave birth she was smaller than she'd been in years, spoke volumes. She could whine about how fatties ought to be treated just like any other expectant mother, but it was clear that she got scared straight for that short while. This was taken three weeks after she gave birth:
Screenshot_20200720-194809_Chrome.jpg

Compared to now
Screenshot_20200720-194946_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20200720-195042_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20200720-195103_Chrome.jpg

If your lowest weight in a decade was right after giving birth... you got issues.
 
MacFit. He lasted two paid rounds of "training". He didn't even attempt to make her eat reasonable portions or meal plan like Massy did, and she still had a toddler tantrum the whole time.

Mac made her walk around the block at the gym, and on the treadmill, AND made her do medicine ball exercises and wall pushups. The first round of training took place when she first got signed by MILK - probably an attempt to get her back into an actual size 22 so they could stop pissing clients off - and the second, when she got pregnant with Bowie after gaining 100 pounds in the year since Nick moved stateside.

I've said this before: to her everlasting credit, she really worked hard to stay weight neutral during her pregnancy. She never stated this publicly, but the fact that right after she gave birth she was smaller than she'd been in years, spoke volumes. She could whine about how fatties ought to be treated just like any other expectant mother, but it was clear that she got scared straight for that short while. This was taken three weeks after she gave birth:
View attachment 1462091

Compared to now
View attachment 1462098View attachment 1462099View attachment 1462100

If your lowest weight in a decade was right after giving birth... you got issues.
Damn, her waist is twice the size now!
 
I'm laughing at her claiming she's worn them since long before she became an ambassador because 'it really works for my plus sized body'. There is no way that she'd want to work out in that regularly. It's barely holding her in. I can imagine if I was wearing clothes that many sizes too small, I'd not particularly want to work out in them. Assuming I could still breathe, it looks like if she so much as farts, those leggings will split open. Let alone actual exercise on a regular basis. Also, while IDK about the trainer before Massy, I know she didn't seem to work out much at all til she hired Massy and then revealed it all to be a publicity stunt to drum up attention for Fabletics.

Well, now we know why she's 450 pounds.
She is the biggest liar. Nearly all of the workout videos she posted were of her in Torrid and she almost always tagged them.
 
The connection is that they once attended a party together: https://apnews.com/bd3e699cd015453bb682ff10d49c547d

Being in the same room as a celebrity doesn’t make you BFFs, Tess. The party was thrown by fellow lolcow Lena Dunham. I’m sure that while Lena’s crashing into irrelevance, she would come down hard on Tubby Tess pretending to be her friend. Dunham is scum but knows that associating with the likes of Holliday would be deleterious to what’s left of her career. This likely explains why she never tries to pretend to be Lena’s friend like she does with Rumer Willis, Mia Tyler, Lizzo, etc.



It says “Share Size” but we all know she’s not sharing any of them.

Okay so Guntster not only takes selfies with Mary Kay Letourneau pedophiles, she attends gatherings thrown by INCESTUOUS pedophiles??

Why ain't this fat sack of shit canceled yet?
 

“Trans women, especially black trans women, are under attack in this country”

Let’s see
- Killed at a tiny fraction of the rate women are, for reasons usually related to shady lifestyle situations (prostitution/drugs/theft) and nothing to do with their gender identity
- Hollywood terrified of offending them
- Laws rewritten to protect and/or prefer them (even if it’s at the expense of females)
- Professors deplatformed for questioning them
- Twitter accounts suspended for saying trans women aren’t women
- Modeling for Calvin Klein
- Featured in a fucking McDonald’s ad

Yeah I’m going to need a citation for this one Tess, aside from you just wanting to look woke
 
“Trans women, especially black trans women, are under attack in this country”

Let’s see
- Killed at a tiny fraction of the rate women are, for reasons usually related to shady lifestyle situations (prostitution/drugs/theft) and nothing to do with their gender identity
- Hollywood terrified of offending them
- Laws rewritten to protect and/or prefer them (even if it’s at the expense of females)
- Professors deplatformed for questioning them
- Twitter accounts suspended for saying trans women aren’t women
- Modeling for Calvin Klein
- Featured in a fucking McDonald’s ad

Yeah I’m going to need a citation for this one Tess, aside from you just wanting to look woke
There's something else that Tess wouldn't like to address: who they tend to be under attack by.
 
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>BMI IS RACIST
I think that I'm going to have a stroke. I'm going to have a fucking stroke before Tess has her inevitable heart attack. It's not fair.
Tess wants the BMI to be useless and racist because it gives her even bigger excuses to not care about her weight. BMI isn’t the main way to measure health, but it’s a good indicator to see if you are within a healthy weight range. Doctors do other tests too. They measure blood pressure, heart rate, and will sometimes take blood and urine samples. Are they going to go after those tests next since doctors can still tell you that you’re unhealthy with those?
 
BMI pretty much tells you what you need to know in most cases. People can ree about body composition and bodybuilders and 'athletes' but most people are neither, and most people who are bodybuilders or athletes are not actually scoring anywhere near as high on the BMI scale as faties would love to believe. Arnold at the Olympia at his biggest was a BMI 29, ffs. Plus they all love to pretend doctors will scold a bodybuilder with a lot of muscle mass and low body fat for being fat the same as an actual fat person. Doctors aren't as dumb as fat acceptance people and know what they're looking at. Meanwhile, strongmen and powerlifters who bulk up a lot do generally do acknowledge the wear and tear extra weight places on their joints and their hearts.

There are plenty of other metrics used alongside BMi these days too. Waist circumference, waist/hip ratio, all that good stuff. Stuff that nearly always tells a person they're fat too. Tess would score as fat, fat. FAT on any single metric used by doctors at all these days.
 
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