So, from what I'm gathering here, it seems that FTMs are very often people who underwent a very awkward puberty, had their sexual education provided by Pornhub and their notions of romance and relationships forged by unhealthy fiction, were bullied at school, developed a very limited grasp of real world social dynamics, and are now LARPing being something else as a coping mechanism.
I don't think it can be simplified that much, and I think the way you say this is kind of... downplaying the seriousness of what these girls and women are going through.
A massive number of trans-identified women and girls are victims of rape and sexual abuse. Even if they aren't, the statistics are fairly damning - the most charitable statistics show that one in five women will be a victim of rape in her lifetime (one in three is the more common statistic and more realistic, however); one in four women will be a victim of
severe physical abuse at the hands of a male intimate partner, and even more will be victims of other forms of domestic abuse (such as emotional, financial, or reproductive abuse); one in seven women will be stalked by a (male) current or former intimate partner... I could go on all day. And these statistics are not hidden anymore, they're common knowledge. If you knew that was the fate of "women," wouldn't you be tempted to try to identify out of those statistics?
Meanwhile, studies show that
boys are getting their sex ed from porn (typical age of first exposure to porn is now ~8 for boys), and are increasingly pressuring their girlfriends into performing degrading, humiliating, brutal sex acts like anal and choking at increasingly young ages. It has become
common for teenage boys to pressure their girlfriends into enacting things they see in porn, and those things are not healthy, good or fun for the girls involved. And porn only becomes more brutal, degrading and humiliating by the day as more and more extreme forms of porn become common and accepted by the mainstream.
And that's not to mention, while we're talking about unhealthy ideas about heterosexual relationships, the fact that studies now show that women in heterosexual relationships
still do a disproportionate amount of childcare and housework despite also being expected to work full-time jobs just like their husbands. Women who have children still take the career and earnings hit, rather than their husbands. Women are still expected to be the "primary parent" whose career is impacted by having to take off work when the kids are sick, be the ones to attend parent-teacher conferences and the like, pick up and drop off from daycare, and so on. The fact is that heterosexual relationships still
are not equal.
And with the internet being what it is today, girls and women growing up now are aware of all of this. The information is readily at hand, if they happen to not personally experience it themselves.
It isn't just "unhealthy fiction" or porn that is making these girls and women believe that heterosexual romance and relationships aren't ideal - for women, they clearly very often aren't. (So it is very easy to idealize gay relationships, where these imbalances and statistics simply don't exist.) And then along comes the trans movement, and tells these women and girls who are (rightfully) put off by the idea of suffering all of the above that they don't have to be women, they don't have to be part of the group that suffers those things, if they "identify" as something else they won't have to deal with it. Of course that's attractive.
It's unrealistic, and it's terrible and built on the misogynistic idea that women who don't identify out of womanhood are okay with being treated badly, but the appeal is understandable.
